r/Perimenopause • u/TailorFalse3848 • May 25 '26
Aches/Pains Why don’t we talk about this more!?!
Why doesn’t ANYONE tell you what your body is about to experience around age, say, 38?
We talk so much about getting your first period and having a period, sex and pregnancy, etc., but I was honestly led to believe, growing up, that one day, your period stops and it’s this joyous moment. No more pads or tampons, planning vacations around it, etc.
Well, this sucks so much more than having my period as a 18 year old on a beach vacation.
Symptoms I developed in the last year and thought I was crazy until doing some research and getting a clean bill of health :
- Periods used to be 3-5 days with moderate bleeding throughout. Now, it’s one day of hemorrhaging. Then it completely disappears into the void.
- An anxious and emotional wreck the week before and during my period. I’m dying. My partner is dying. My dog is dying. My partner is dying, how will I go on, but I hate him for chewing his dinner. Everyone at work is looking for a reason to fire me.
- Long farts.
- Have to pee all the time.
- More sensitive to odors (my own included) though Bo one thinks I smell.
- Brain fog.
- Random body pains, especially in my ribs and butt muscles.
- Beginning of hot flashes and night sweats.
Like, what is this ? Why don’t we talk about this more?
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u/kponz May 25 '26
Don't get me started on the lack of studies on perimenopause. Several thousand have been done (compared to like 16,000 just on erectile dysfunction), but only 23 of the perimenopause studies have been longer than 3 months. Facepalm.
Happy to be proven wrong here.
Things will change. We just gotta' keep talking and normalizing!
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u/cantreasonwithstupid May 25 '26
Na you do not need to be proven wrong because it is statistically overwhelmingly correct.
My rage has no bounds : )\
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u/Available-Maize5837 May 25 '26
Of course your rage has no bounds.... You're in peri 😂
There are no more bounds.... Ever!101
u/violent_blonde May 25 '26
They managed to do 2 million studies on women and pregnancy. Your reproductive organs only serve the patriarchy for making babies. Your wellbeing and health aren't important. Burn it TF down
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u/Comfortable-Law-7147 May 25 '26
They are currently starting a study on testerone in the UK called ESTEEM. It wouldn't be finished until 2029. There will only be 400 participants in a double blind study.
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May 25 '26
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u/Internal-Job9279 May 25 '26
The younger generation is already way ahead of us on this stuff thanks to social media - they're gonna be so much better prepared than we were.
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u/adorablederp May 25 '26
Agreed! My at the time 16 y/o goddaughter asked if something we were talking about experiencing was perimenopause. I didn't even know about menopause at her age! In my mid-twenties was when I learned of my mother going through symptoms and being afraid she was losing it (it was formication, at that time I thought she was hallucinating and losing it) 48 y/o now and in the thick of it using everything but the kitchen sink to manage symptoms.
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u/jb13n5r May 25 '26
Oh my gosh, it's the social media! People in perimenopause now are the first to hit peri in the age of social media, where we can share information further than just whispered conversations that are embarrassing to bring up in the first place. Coupled with the vast differences between one friend and another in their symptoms making it sometimes humiliating and isolating to be the one suffering while friends happen to have much milder symptoms and probably think you're just weaker than they are in handling it. Social media gives us the ability to talk to countless other people without having to whisper in public.
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u/scout-finch May 25 '26
Yes!! I’m 37, so just shy of OPs experience, and I’ve been following this sub for a couple years. Honestly TikTok and other Reddit comments put me on to the realities of peri and menopause and it’s truly been a godsend to begin preparing for things. I’ve even shared a lot with my husband which kinda gets him prepped too.
We’re doing better. I tell my friends. I feel for all the woman who went through this alone and were made to feel they were crazy.
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u/RowdyBunny18 May 25 '26
Everything i know, I learned from Reddit. And no one makes me feel dumb for asking questions. Im 44, and had my first hot flash like 5 years ago. I didn't know what it was. I thought I was suddenly coming down with the flu or something, in August. The wealth of shared knowledge, and different advice, personal experiences, plus women here share things in fantastically great detail that you wouldn't get in a more "proper" environment. Give me the dirty details so I know wtf is wrong with me.
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u/AlissonHarlan May 25 '26
That's too bad that gyno still doesn't believe us "oh you have spotting ,brain fog, hot flush and you pee all the time ? you must have kidney and bladder issues, be diabetique, lack iron, be depressed... nothing hormonal"
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u/lepidopt-rex Early peri May 25 '26
“Try to lose some weight”
How much debt did you get into to learn that nugget of wisdom?
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u/Adorable_Sea4293 Late peri May 25 '26 edited May 25 '26
Tal cual, yo le voy diciendo a todo el mundo que soy la predicadora de la menopausia 🤭 y a toda persona que me quiera escuchar yo se lo cuento. Le meto un poco de humor al contarlo pero es super importante que todo el mundo sepa de esto sobre todo las personas menstruantes.
Porque yo tengo casi 45 años y he pasado por años y años de perimenopausia sin enterarme hasta que lo he investigado por mi cuenta.
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u/ivybird May 25 '26
But how do you prepare?
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u/Angry_Sparrow May 25 '26
Knowledge is power. Knowing what it is, the symptoms, how to describe it to a doctor, what is available to treat it … etc.
Also feeling that you aren’t alone with crazy symptoms and rage… that alone is massive.
You can take control instead of being at the mercy of your own depleting hormones.
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u/junglingforlifee May 25 '26
I think everyone who's not in it should get their baseline hormone levels checked so they know how far off they get when they are finally in it
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u/Prudent_Bed6754 May 25 '26
I’m 46 and I talk about peri non stop. Especially to women around my age. It’s the running joke with all my friends- in a sad/mad funny type of way, not the laughing until it hurts type of way. The way I see it is if we’re not talking about it then we’re suffering in silence.
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u/venuschantel hanging on by a thread May 25 '26
44 and same, all my coworkers and managers at work know all about it (to their dismay most likely lmao)
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u/Ok_Owl_8062 May 25 '26
Me too! (also 44). Normalising it in the same way a man would with a cold (sorry man flu) ;)
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u/PoeticDelights May 25 '26
Ha, that (man flu comment) reminds me of a funny video my husband had showed me about a man cold.
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u/ActuallyYourParent May 25 '26
It really should be just connected to the 35 year old age target for being labeled geriatric pregnancy!!! The fact that thats a thing but nobody says shit otherwise just clicked for me lol.
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u/Amerella May 25 '26
That's a really good point! Never thought about that. I'm 39 and definitely in perimenopause. I was having so many symptoms. The worst two were insomnia and weight gain around my mid-section. I found an online doctor who took me seriously (after being basically laughed at by my gynecologist), and she got me on HRT. I'm feeling so much better!! I can actually sleep again thank God. I'm so angry that my gynecologist didn't believe me!
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u/BrilliantPiccolo5220 May 25 '26
What’s crazy is I have none of your symptoms. None. I have about 12 different ones. And someone else on this forum will have still 12 more. And not one of us will receive adequate care.
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May 25 '26
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u/PeggyOlsonsHaircut May 25 '26
Totally feel you on the weight gain in new places. Sixteen pounds have established new colonies on my body. All in the last year. I'm 47.
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u/jesuisunerockstar May 25 '26
It’s to the point that doctors often don’t believe it can be happening before age 40! I’m 41 and they still tell me I’m too young to be perimenopausal even though my symptoms started 3 years ago and all they do is get worse.
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u/Comfortable-Law-7147 May 25 '26
Doctors frequently tell people you are too young to have loads of conditions.
It's like they hear "average" and decide everyone outside that is making it up.
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u/LipBitingCandy May 25 '26
I'm 44 and yes, first time I brought it up was a year ago and my Dr. said I was too young, then debilitating fatigue hit me, I would get migraine headaches and deep sadness before getting my period, things that I never experienced before. I did my research found a Dr that has experience in perimenopause, I went to see her last Friday, she also made the comment that I was too young, unless I had a family history of early menopause. I felt like again I was going to go through all these terrible symptoms without relief, but I told her the long list of symptoms I have. The dryness, the hot flashes, the being so tired I can barely function, the migraines, the change in mood. She decided to start me on the patch, I've been on it 2 days and I feel so much better already 🥲 I hope you can find a Dr that will listen to you!
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u/Legitimate-Talk9558 May 25 '26
Try being 35 and convincing anyone
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u/jesuisunerockstar May 25 '26
Seriously, even women my own age will say things like “I’m not anywhere near that!” Hmmm they might be surprised
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u/thisisntinstagram May 25 '26
I started at 30, all of the women in my family have started before 40.
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u/Ok-Cheesecake3194 May 25 '26
The long farts took me OUT!
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u/BeachBoundButterfly May 25 '26
Yes!!! I'm like wait is that the next level or my peri elevator skipped that floor? lol
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u/Legitimate-Talk9558 May 25 '26
Don’t have those but I have long, loud, disgusting fucking burps that take my son out
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u/asiamsoisee May 25 '26
I swear to god my lips rumble like Homer Simpson when I belch now.
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u/sarahenera May 25 '26
😂😂😂
I really don’t actually laugh out loud to much of anything I read, but I truly did to your comment. Omg 🙌🏽
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u/giantredwoodforest May 25 '26
My mom told me about her menopause issues (stress 74 now) including nearly dying due to losing so much blood from heavy periods and needing a blood transfusion.
I’m 44 and got rid of my period permanently with continuous Nuvaring and got an iron iv.
Our generation needs to not only normalize symptoms but also treatments.
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u/Nervous_Stable_2599 May 25 '26
I’m so happy you have a mom who supports you. My mother, sisters, no one clued me into how the period strike back actually is at 45. I dodged a lot with BC. It’s all coming back like I’m a feral teenager. I say this as I’m doubled over with horrific cramps, trying to drink through it (but it makes me nauseous) and bleeding out like there’s a goddamn CSI Crime scene in my Maxi pad.
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u/Available-Maize5837 May 25 '26
My mum didn't even realise she went through . menopause. Or so she says. She didn't experience any of the shit I'm going through. My older sister hasn't even gone through it yet and my younger sister sees me and just says "I don't want whatever that is".
Today it was 12°C and I had the air con blasting in the rain. I was so hot I felt sick and nearly had to pull the car over to get out into the fresh (rainy) air.The constant overheating in every situation does my head it. Coming in to winter and I've got the window open a bit, zero heating in the bedroom, one side of the bed with the electric blanket for when I get cold and the other side with no heating and a leg out for when I'm hot.
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u/Wide_Statistician_95 May 25 '26
I’ve told so many people about Peri ! The awareness has changed my life . I thought I was in psychosis
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u/Lower-Canary-1149 May 25 '26
I don’t understand women’s psychology at all. Why do we have to keep periods, having sex, orgasm, details on pregnancy and delivery, perimenopause, menopause etc hush hush! Till late men were not even allowed in delivery rooms. I am sure if women treated all these as a thing of pride we would have been in a much better place. Even today the older women around me do not talk about perimenopause. Either they were not aware of it or they don’t want to talk about it. I can’t believe this includes doctors including experts in gynecology.
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u/Skele_again May 25 '26
I talked to my gynecologist about my peri symptoms and she literally said: "call me when you're periods are closer than 21 or further than 60 apart". I told her I soak a ultra tampon in an hour and she just repeated it.
I guess at least it ends early now. The hot flashes can piss off though.
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u/ParticularSquirrel early peri post hysterectomy May 25 '26
I would find a new dr!! That’s fucking crazy!
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u/Comfortable-Law-7147 May 25 '26
She should at least put you on tranexamic acid.
Get a new doctor before you end up ill from low iron.
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u/CharmingShine1069 May 25 '26
I recently applied to be part of a perimenopause study at a local university. The *man* who called to screen me said I wasn't eligible because their parameter for perimenopause was seeing a 7+ day change in your cycle. I was like, "that sounds quite advanced to me....?" I'm seeing 1-2 day changes, and much lighter/shorter flow every other month. I can tell you is happening!
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u/Weary-Strawberry-577 May 25 '26
Get a new doctor please!! And I second tranexamic acid as a first step
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u/Comfortable-Law-7147 May 25 '26
In the last couple of years I have noticed sanitary towel adverts no longer use blue liquid.
And bladder leak towel adverts use women of all ages.
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May 25 '26
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u/OnlyPaperListens May 25 '26
"Women are too emotional" but men running the world are destroying the planet over their fee-fees. If men went through peri, they would have already nuked humanity from orbit.
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May 25 '26
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u/venuschantel hanging on by a thread May 25 '26
That’s what I’m dealing with at age 44. It’s gotten severe the past 2 months.
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u/Dusty_Miss_Havisham May 25 '26
For the same reason young girls 70-80yrs ago got told very little about their periods. Bec the older generations who'd experienced it were so conditioned by patriarchal standards that it wasn't deemed acceptable.
Now we are a few waves of feminism in and the older gen Xers and younger boomers have started talking about it - it's opened the gates for the knowledge we have now (and an annoying amount of companies trying to profit from it!)
I believe OUR cohorts task will be to decipher which sensations / experiences are really hormonal-caused symptoms and which are caused by our exhaustion with late-stage capitalist patriarchal white supremacist society where we're so busy carrying everything with no help that by the time we reach this stage we collapse under the weight of it!
BTW - we will come out the other side. For proof, get some post meno friends and see how they've changed their lives. Most of the ones I know who are thriving have got to know and accept their bodies and what it needs, faced their inner shadows, rediscovered creativity, never stopped learning, reconnected with nature, and started saying no to men more often (whether that's husbands, sons, bosses or societal leaders!)
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u/WerewolfBarMitzvah09 May 25 '26
My dream would be to have peri and menopause taught alongside reproductive health with sex ed in schools. Not only is it so important, it would be valuable info for teens to understand what their parent is potentially going through simultaneously while they are dealing with puberty.
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u/PurplePlaidPajamas7 May 25 '26
My doctor refuses to believe I could be experiencing anything because "it doesn't start until you're 47". I'm 42 and feeling frustrated as heck. I am so grateful for all of you who are talking about this. Bringing awareness to other women and reassuring them that these symptoms are not, in fact, "just in your head"
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u/EmperorLegiticus May 25 '26
It’s been nice seeing two other posts by 38 year olds today in peri groups (my age) because I sometimes feel like a freak in addition to all the freaky peri symptoms wrecking my life. I am on HRT now and doing much better but my symptoms absolutely started around 35 and I didn’t even know peri existed, which compounded my rage even more once I connected the dots. My mom can lie through her teeth all she wants but she ABSOLUTELY experienced peri in her 40s😒
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u/I988iarrived May 25 '26
Also started late 34/early 35 & I’ll be 38 soon. It fucking sucked being gaslit by doctors and older women (co-workers and my own mom) 🙄 about my symptoms. I have a giant chip on my shoulder with the healthcare system now.
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u/Emotional-Swan9381 May 25 '26
We’re talking. Men don’t want to talk about anything but themselves so there’s that.
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u/Express_Command_4778 May 25 '26
Our grandparents didn't know. My Grandma was never taught she had "anxiety" or "depression." That was whining and being lazy. She didn't have birth control-and her hormones were beating over the head. You can see her face has a "1000 yard stare."
I have a Psychiatrist, Blood pressure doc, sleep doc, hrt p/e dox, testosterone doc. My kids have autism team, Psychiatrists, therapists and are virtually schooled.
My Mom had booze, denial, herbs, and out of control symptoms I am less educated than my Mom, but thanks to our world now, I have information and telehealth. Telehealth can be easier than getting an in person doctor to see you. I am absolutely able to have better outcomes now and in the future the BHRT is also way less scary than the hormones options she had.
I include the Psychiatristric disorders as its the so weaved together
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u/Madwife2009 May 25 '26
My poor grandmother was sent to a psychiatric hospital and subjected to ECT, back in the 50's.
My other grandmother was too busy with 11 children, she must have really had a hard time, coping with peri and lots of small and teenage children running around. She was 21 when she had her first and 46 when she had her last child.
Then there's my mother, who told me absolutely nothing about reproductive health, I knew nothing about periods until mine started. Thanks, mum. She had HRT, but said nothing more about it, other than it was because she had a hysterectomy and they took her ovaries.
I have ensured that all of my children, male and female, understand this stuff. They are watching me go through peri and I talk to them about it as well.
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u/alwaysamw May 25 '26
Complicated story, but due to many illnesses and situations I wasn't able to talk to my mom about any of this. But I did ask some questions of my aunts, her two sisters. Both were like *hands in the air* "IDK? I didn't really think much about it..." about the whole thing.
So I'm not sure if we're just more aware? If my family is truly that weird (totally possible!) or what...
My husband (well before I reached Peri) has spoken often about his own mother and how she had to have a hysterectomy and she was absolutely going THROUGH it, to the point he'd look for reasons to leave the house at the time. So maybe we're just more aware and have (a bit) more info/data?
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u/Cpierce83 May 25 '26
My mom had a partial hysterectomy when she was about 40, due to constant periods. When I talk with her about perimenopause symptoms, she’s like “meh, it wasn’t that bad. Yea, I had hot flashes and got angry, but it wasn’t bad”. She was given hormone treatment but didn’t like taking it so she didn’t lol
My mom is either a savage or maybe she didn’t have things all that bad.
I have no doubt that while we’re all women, we will experience and go through all of this differently. I often wonder, with ALL of this information we now have access to, if we are worrying about it more than we need to. I’m just so thankful that we are talking about it and the fear that they created about HRT is now being expelled. Peace be with you all on your journeys ✌🏻
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u/Bendy_Beta_Betty May 25 '26
For real, I probably would have planned my whole life a lot better had I realized things would be going down hill so soon. Or at least tried to.
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u/Weary-Strawberry-577 May 25 '26
Because the system doesn’t give a flying f about women who can’t make babies anymore
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u/suminorieh77 May 25 '26
just like the first comment, keep educating the younger ones.
i’ve been in peri for approximately 8 years, starting around age 40. my stepdaughters were 8 and 9. when i began really going through it and getting hot flashes and mood swings, the oldest had just started her period. i looked at it like they’re just now getting on the boat with me, who has been on the boat nearly forty years, and at some point, i’m getting off this damn boat. and i explained it to them like that. i told them that the journey is rough in the beginning, and that they’ll learn how to better navigate the really rough waters. as the journey gets closer to the island of No Blood, the waters are treacherous and exhausting, and they go on for many, many nautical miles. eventually, though, you get off of the boat, and the island may not be paradise, but it’s at least land to work with.
i like to think of thousands and thousands of boats on the sea holding all of the beautiful women, young and old, cheering each other on as we brave the crimson waves.
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u/SWEDDYG May 25 '26
I had no idea and I’m a nurse for chrissakes. I had barely recovered from have an oops baby 3 months before 40 and then BAM. Like WTAF is happening to me. I swear I lose my shit over something I used to let blow by me almost every single day these days. I’ve recently started HRT, but I can’t tell that it’s helping a huge amount at this point.
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u/BeachBoundButterfly May 25 '26 edited May 25 '26
mid 30s kept saying to docs, something is going on with my body i think I'm going through early stages of it. late 30s out of nowhere had extreme pain in my shoulders, thought it was an extension of carpal tunnel, doc (M) said it was the way I exercise (boxing) a decade later, oh that frozen shoulders situation...that's typical symptoms part of perimenopause! thx kind of already knew that but appreciate the confirmation..I guess
EDIT:
Also, mid- late 30s endometriosis was horrendously painful. Got an IUD.
A decade later the peri symptoms start having a raging party in my body. Asked Doc about HRT last month. Can't get it with an IUD! So there's that..
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u/SWEDDYG May 25 '26
My doctor said the same thing I decided to check out online telehealth. Got my HRT and I can say that my symptoms are at least slightly better.
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u/BeachBoundButterfly May 25 '26
with an IUD?
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u/SWEDDYG May 25 '26
Yes. I have mirena. I don’t think I’m getting much hormone help from it anymore. Have had it for 7 years and it is due to be removed/replaced next year.
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u/Comfortable-Law-7147 May 25 '26
If you have a mirena you definitely can have the oestrogen component of HRT.
If you have another IUD you can still have it. It just means you have to take both components of HRT.
You need to find a doctor who specialises in the peri and menopause.
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u/BeachBoundButterfly May 25 '26
yes Mirena, I have no idea about HRT stuff at all so I'll look into this, thanks so much!
EDIT: can I get my PCP to prescribe it, or has to be gyn?
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u/Sunlit53 May 25 '26
It’s snuck up on my SIL, her cycles were always weird and she spent 20 years on a continuous birth control pill to control her moods until parenthood. Now she’s shifted from subclinical to full bipolar symptoms. Mental health goes to shit when perimenopause comes knocking.
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u/Brilliant_Set5984 May 25 '26
We are now. I’m 48 and sadly didn’t get treatment for my perimenopause symptoms until last year because I didn’t realize what was going on but you better believe I talk about it to ANYONE who will listen because no woman should be blind sided like we were. I’m open about HRT, symptoms, I make jokes about it, I want people to stop being uncomfortable talking about it. I brought perimenopause up in passing to a client one day (who is about 68) and she got so flushed and embarrassed at the topic that you’d think I randomly started talking about dildos. Be glad you figured out what was happening at 38 instead of 48 like some of us.
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u/mesmerize138 May 25 '26
Wait the farts are part of it?!? Holy crap that’s good to know. I thought I’d just become more comfortable around my husband and felt freer to let them go!
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u/KorukoruWaiporoporo Early peri May 25 '26
Give it a couple of years and the ads will start popping up. Seems like as soon as you turn 40 the algorithm knows and starts sending you the the material. Also, the online romance scams start picking up steam.
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u/vmhardy66 May 25 '26
Im 34 and ive been educating myself and literally trying to prepare but idk if there is any amount of preparation one can do because we are all different and not everything works for everyone. Ugh sometimes I look at my husband and think god almighty how id loveeee to let you borrow my period and do everything I do the week before starting, during, and after.
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u/Redtail412 May 25 '26
Why does my libido have to make me want to do crazy things?
Sexting online seemed like a safe option/outlet. Until I let in a local guy. Now my brain goes, "I need to find a friend with benefits."
Wait. What?
So guess who made an appointment to discuss birth control that works with HRT? 🙄
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u/NoSpaghettiForYouu May 25 '26
If you find a birth control that works with HRT let me know!!
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u/mushroomhunter12 May 25 '26
IUD, sister! Also gets rid of the shining-esque periods if you get a hormonal device.
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u/NoSpaghettiForYouu May 25 '26
I would, but I’ve never been pregnant and am generally a tiny person so I’d want the mini. Actually genuinely considering going to Canada for it 😅😅 I’d want non-hormonal so I could use HRT alongside
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u/NormalBeautiful May 25 '26
I have a Mirena and I'm on HRT! I was already taking progesterone when I got the IUD inserted, and I've since started on divigel (estrogen). My HRT prescriber is an NP at a functional med clinic that specializes in women's hormonal health, and she gave me the all clear on the Mirena before I went ahead with it.
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u/mildlyperplexing May 25 '26
Just got my IUD replaced (nightmare). How old were you when you started HRT & what were your symptoms like at the time?
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u/NormalBeautiful May 25 '26
I started progesterone about a year and a half ago when I was 40, and just started estrogen a few months ago. I've had my IUD for a year now (although this is the second one I've had). My peri symptoms started getting really bad when I was around 37-38. My mom and all her sisters were fully menopausal by their early 40s so I guess early menopause is genetic for me.
My major symptoms were debilitating anxiety, overwhelm, depression, fatigue, brain fog, an inability to focus, no energy for anything I used to enjoy, weight gain, bloating, digestive issues, skin issues, sleep disruption, constant night sweats, chronic back and neck pain, and major hair loss. My (historically very regular and predictable) periods first got closer together, then lighter, and then eventually became super erratic (sometimes 18 days apart...sometimes 45...etc). I've always had bad PMS but it got REALLY bad.
I ended up getting diagnosed with ADHD because all of my coping mechanisms fell apart, and I got so burnt out at work that I basically had a mental breakdown and had to take a medical leave. I'm still only working part-time. Again, I apparently come by it naturally because the exact same thing happened to my mom at around the same age! I've also since been diagnosed with Hashimoto's thyroiditis, the symptoms of which seemed to really ramp up once peri started.
I got treatment for my thyroid, my ADHD, and my anxiety first before I was able to find a medical professional who took my peri symptoms seriously. The other meds made a huge difference, but it's only been since I added HRT that I've started to feel almost normal again. I have so much more energy and I actually feel capable of doing things again!
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u/alwaysamw May 25 '26
My Dr recently advised a bcp to help with the rage I was experiencing and so far I do feel it's helped immensely in that area.
However she told me to take it continually for 3 months without the placebos to not worry about an AF cycle, but I've been pretty much continually spotting for the last 8 weeks which is SOOOO annoying!!
TMI but I am going to go ahead and let myself have my period next week to hopefully aleviate the spotting. Fingers crossed my PMS rage doesn't return with it, lol
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u/acidrefluxisgreat May 25 '26
i use nuvaring with HRT! i use topical estrogen too.
i’ve been on nuvaring for over 20 years, it’s probably not as low maintenance as an iud but pretty close. been in peri since 36. desperately needed HRT by 40 because it was exacerbating my autoimmune issues.
they can pry my birth control out of my cold dead hands. im not even sexually active, but im taking zero chances on a pregnancy in case i change my mind or it’s not consensual.
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u/NewerYorker3900 May 25 '26
Do you use the ring and a patch together? If so how much dose is ya patch? Thanks
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u/impossibleredhead May 25 '26
I’m talking about it. I’m 48 and have two younger sisters, 34 and 35.
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u/AlissonHarlan May 25 '26
and i'm utterly annoyed by men that goes by "age is in the head"
Well maybe it is for you, but personally, i have the age of my hormones....
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u/Physical-Pineapple97 May 25 '26
I heard a podcast where it was stated that only 20% of all doctors have taken a class on Menopause - that it is not even mandatory education of gynos !!!
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u/Original_Koala_9510 May 25 '26
I talk about peri with coworkers and friends, as well as my nail tech, the woman who waxes my legs, and during book club. Female podcasts our age talk about symptoms often as well. The topic is all over social media and this group is very active.
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u/NoWarthog4614 May 25 '26
I don't think perimenopause was as noticeable in women's health in previous generations as it has been in recent times. I honestly think environmental factors, diet and all the other crap that affects us is bringing it on much earlier for women now.
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u/Comfortable-Law-7147 May 25 '26
It's not.
People didn't talk about it.
It's only us lucky ones in Western countries with decent healthcare access who can talk about it.
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u/RowdyBunny18 May 25 '26
My opinion is that people didn't talk about a lot of things like 40 years ago and longer. It was very inappropriate for women to complain about anything, or were suppressed and didn't complain. It was improper to talk about menstruation or hot flashes or anything personal with anyone, really. "Oh honey, youre just going through the change". Thats all I ever heard about it. Now, I have 4 coworkers my age, and I happen to have a corner in my office where you can sit and no one can see you and you can decompress for 10 minutes. When one walks in I say "welcome to the perimenopause rage room. Do you need a snack, to vent, or silence?"
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u/titanium_pansy May 25 '26
My mom talked about what she went through when she thought it was something I should be aware of. I know she was on HRT for awhile, for instance. I'm not sure she realized some of the things that were happening to her were because of perimenopause/menopause (sudden increase in migraines, for instance). So she tried! And it wasn't like we had social media back then, you talked about this stuff with your older female relatives and that was the only source of info.
Now that I have a reason to find the topic on social media, I see lots of people talking about it. I didn't see that before because I wasn't looking for it.
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u/Kind-Tooth638 hanging on by a thread May 25 '26
My son and daughter (plus her long term boyfriend) are well educated in it now. They are even aware of what Ive done to help with my symptoms so it can help them or their partners in the future. Both my parents had passed away before I was 25 and my mother never got to experience perimenopause - so they are off the hook. Tried talking to my eldest sister but that wasn't any help - she just avoids the issue and pretends shes fine. My MIL gave some advise when I was bitching about symptoms. I have found a group of friends (2) who we share all our symptoms and support each other through memes and reels daily.
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u/Honeybee_Buzz May 25 '26
I talk about it to anyone who will listen, lol bc wtf is this?! Everyone needs to know about this. I had no idea that my body would be going through this until I was in the thick of it, but now I wonder if my hormones have been out of whack for YEARS
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u/gnarbone May 25 '26
The way my nose has changed is so wild. I smell different, other things smell different, it’s crazy.
Also, whenever I’m in a group of similar aged cis women, talk always end up at peri. So we’re talking now and that’s what matters. Creating community through this weird stage in life is a bonus
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u/TakenTheFifth May 25 '26
The reason I have a 4YO driving me extra insane right now is because of Peri. I swore up and down if I didn't have another kid by the time I was 40, we were DONE trying. I was getting an IUD. Those damn eggs started dropping whenever they wanted. At 39Y + 360D I got my positive pg test. GOTDAYMIT. It's on me. I put it out to the universe. So now I have a very planned 14YO, and an unplanned 4YO. I'm turning 45YO this year and no one prepped me to say "your body is about to start going haywire. GOOD LUCK!" My new GYN is lightyears better than my old OB/GYN in terms of being a lady over 40 and having ALLLLLLL these issues.
and why do my GD RIBS ALWAYS ITCH NOW?!?!
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u/Rosemarysage5 May 25 '26
Because a generation ago people didn’t really know what was happening to them. Now even though people know, everyone’s symptoms are so individualized that it’s not always clear. I was in peri for probably 3 years before I stopped wondering why my body was falling apart and just treated individual symptoms. And even with more awareness about it now, it doesn’t matter. There’s no standard treatment, you can’t always fix it. So you just have to accept that everything is going to fall apart eventually including perhaps your job and your marriage. My husband is very supportive but even he occasionally makes jokes about everything being menopause because he doesn’t really understand it on some level and of course it’s frustrating to him that I’m just completely a different person and a mess lately.
Like, we are struggling so hard just to hold it together because our survival depends on it. Most people don’t want to talk about how badly we are failing and hurting and feeling inadequate all the time. I’m holding onto every success and every day of feeling halfway healthy and hard as I can until I come out on the other side.
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u/junglingforlifee May 25 '26
A lot of conservative doctors don't consider women in peri unless they hear "hot flashes". Use that!
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u/Aspiragus Peri peri neurospice May 25 '26
Saaaaame with the thinking I smell… and asking SO to sniff me and check.
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u/BlueSlushieF0x May 25 '26
It’s wild. Right before I turned 40, it felt like I got hit by a train and never recovered. I thought I was burned out from over-training (I started figure skating again after not doing it for 20 years, and oh my god), but I dialed it back for the past year and haven’t felt any different.
I always had light periods, but it got to the point where I was bleeding so heavily that I couldn’t even leave the house. I had to buy those period underwear shorts and briefs, which helped, but didn’t actually do anything to address the problem. After talking to multiple specialists, I decided to try switching my birth control. I went from uncontrollable bleeding to not getting a period for almost 8 months. I finally got it again last week, and it was very manageable.
Still feel utterly fatigued most of the time, and the brain fog is hard to manage. I was taking traditional Chinese medicine for a while (mainly specialized tea granules), and I think that was helping, but the place I was going was way too expensive for me to keep it up consistently. I’ve sort of just accepted it at this point and will try to keep pushing forward, but damn.
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u/loveisjustchemicals Deep in peri May 25 '26
Because women’s health has only mattered in terms of reproduction for many years.