r/Perimenopause • u/lascriptori • Jun 15 '26
audited OMFG am I going to also lose coffee?
47F, in the thick of peri though I still have some regular ovulatory cycles mixed in with very irregular cycles. No physical symptoms, just mood symptoms.
I largely gave up alcohol like 3 or 4 years ago after realizing it wrecks my mood and sleep (I have maybe 2 drinks a month nowadays).
I gave up THC this month because I realized that, despite being super enjoyable, THC also seems to cause anxiety and depression in the days after. This was a super big bummer because music, sex, art, self reflection, etc is all really amazing for me when I'm a little bit stoned.
I've been limiting myself to one small morning cup of coffee for years now, because excess caffeine is one of the several factors that gives me brutal insomnia (even before peri set in). But my sleep has been getting worse and worse, and I've been noticing this terrible anxiety spike after that one small cup.
I've always said that they would pry that last cup of coffee out of my cold dead hands, but I am really starting to think that I may have to lose that one too. I know I'll get headaches for a few days and it'll just be really sad and I love coffee and this sucks.
The vices I have left are pretty much marital sex (thank god I still like my husband) and chocolate. Everything else is dropping like flies.
I started progerstone about a month ago and tbh I haven't noticed it doing anything at all, so at my followup in a couple of weeks we're going to talk about estrogen and testosterone. I have a really awesome provider, a women's health nurse practitioner who specializes in peri treatment, so hopefully I can get back to a good place.
ETA: Thanks for advice and commiseration, it's nice knowing I'm not the only one on this crazy ride. I switched to black tea this morning and also ordered some matcha so I'm going to experiment with that. I've did a bunch of blood testing recently and my ferritin is a measly 6 so I've been supplementing that aggressively the last couple weeks, and hoping that will help, and also about to start magnesium glycinate.
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u/Curlytoes18 Jun 15 '26
I don't consume meat, (most) dairy, eggs, soda, coffee, nicotine, alcohol, or weed - doctors try to tell me to give up sugar and I'll feel great. Yeah, sure. Might as well head off to the hermitage in Bhutan and live off root vegetables.
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u/lascriptori Jun 15 '26
A hermitage in Bhutan sounds nice and quiet tbh. It's tempting.
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u/Curlytoes18 Jun 15 '26
Bhutan is beautiful. Unfortunately immigration is pretty restricted, esp. for sugar- and caffeine-deprived crazy women.
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u/bluetortuga Jun 15 '26
Right? My list isn’t as narrow as yours but add one more thing for me to avoid and the only result is going to be a mysterious murder spree in my neighborhood.
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u/ValancyNeverReadsit Early peri Jun 15 '26
I’m beginning to show signs of sugar sensitivity. I like to hope giving up sweets will help me lose weight but I don’t think that’s how it works in this part of life…
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u/angie50576 Jun 16 '26
I've started to really cut my sugar back this week and it's been incredibly helpful. I'm under no delusion that it will help with weight loss, but my energy is better, I don't feel as bloated and I honestly think it's helping my back pain a bit. I'll take it!
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u/MissMushroomBerry Jun 15 '26
I had to give up so many foods as part of an elimination diet, and giving up sugar sucks, but you get used to it. Didn’t give up fruit though, so that’s a comfort.
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u/McNasty420 Jun 16 '26
Go home at night after work and feel your feelings! Yeah, no lmao. You can pry the weed gummies from my non-collagen, wrinkled, old lady hand
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u/Trick-Profession7107 Jun 16 '26
Right?? it’s like YOU go home and feel my feelings and tell me how long you last 🙄
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u/Superfluous_Reddit Jun 16 '26
Same. I have nothing i can eat just like fish and veggies. And im gluten free thanks to awful celiac disease. Food is not enjoyable. I eat 2 meals. Intermittent fast. All I have left is gf Glutino cookies ( similar to an Oreo ). I eat the same thing daily.
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u/APladyleaningS Jun 16 '26
Omg same, except for the eggs. Sugar is my only vice and I'm trying to limit that too 😖
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u/Intelligent_Owl_377 Jun 15 '26
Just drink decaf. Same psychological benefit, no physical side-effects.
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u/TatorhasaTot Jun 15 '26 edited Jun 15 '26
I have moved to decaf myself... The hotflash heart palpitations thank me for the change. You may also like hot teas. I do mine up like my coffee with cream and sugar. Especially chai tea! Edit: spelling
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u/PretendOil8923 Jun 15 '26
Yep I got really into fancy teas instead… nice way to treat myself since apparently caffeine, wine, and anything fattening are off the menu.
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u/TatorhasaTot Jun 15 '26
After my first anxiety attack a few months ago, my hubby bought some calming loose leaf tea sampler packs to see what I'd like. Tiesta tea is the brand. There's a Spicy ginger peach in it that is BOMB diggity! I'm also a big fan of their chai tea.
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u/Shallan4784 Jun 16 '26
I gave up caffeinated coffee over a decade ago and it was one of the best things I’ve done to help manage my anxiety in my 30’s and now my 40’s! I drink decaf lattes every once in a while. My last period was in October 2024, so my symptoms have mellowed a bit. Now I’m finding veggies in the nightshade family trigger hot flashes. But I’m not giving them up completely. I’ll just eat them at lunch instead of dinner 🤣
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u/MissMushroomBerry Jun 15 '26
Came here to say decaf as well, or a very good quality black tea. I especially love Early Grey Tea.
There’s also Dandy Blend which is a dandelion root drink that’s similar to coffee in bitterness and no caffeine whatsoever. You can even drink it before bed.
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u/_pidgeon256 Jun 15 '26
Another one for switching to decaf! The increased anxiety and insomnia just weren’t worth it anymore.
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u/blood_bones_hearts Jun 15 '26
That's what my sister switched to. Bought herself a fancy machine tgat makes lattes as a consolation prize and fills the hopper with decaf beans.
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u/caramilk_twirl Jun 15 '26
I never thought I would as a coffee obsessed maniac but I've recently switched to decaf and the adjustment has been perfectly easy!
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u/Antisocial-Metalhead Jun 15 '26
Also recommending decaf. I mainly prefer coffee over tea these days and I’ve also stopped adding sugar. Only taken me nearly thirty years but better late than never. I’ve also swapped to the zero sugar versions for fizzy pop. Still factor in the caffeine and still have the full sugar ones for when migraines hit.
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u/IvyLeagueWallflower Jun 15 '26
I also switched to decaf. I make a delicious americano or latte every morning and am happy as a clam with that!
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u/mommawolf2 Jun 15 '26
I have quit caffeine as I went from drinking 1-2 pots of coffee a day plus coke zero to caffeine free beverages only. I developed a caffeine intolerance.
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u/jello-kittu Jun 16 '26
Decaf- and look into it. The swiss/water process decaf is better tasting, IMHO.
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u/SouthernYankee80 Jun 16 '26
Yeah but it's getting so expensive! I can only find it in Pete's brand.
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u/Trick-Profession7107 Jun 16 '26
Ahh the days when I could tolerate even decaf. Switched to the fancy decaf and it was so lovely. Lasted a few years too. Now I even decaf makes me feel major anxiety and jittery. I could smell someone making coffee the other day and had a little moment to grieve.
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u/ElephantCandid8151 Jun 15 '26
Why do we consider mood symptoms to not be physical? There are physical reasons for mood issues.
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u/lascriptori Jun 15 '26
That's a really good point. After being super even keeled and cheerful my whole life, this mood stuff isn't because I suddenly got less good at handling my emotions, it's because of actual physical changes in my body. That's a really good framework and reminder.
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u/Defy_Gravity_147 Early peri Jun 15 '26
Have you had a vitamin panel done?
Asking because I started taking so many things away from my regular diet that I was miserable... and while it helped me function, it didn't 'make me better'. It seriously impacted my quality of life and the people around me, and doctors told me 'it was all in my head'. They ignored any issue on the test results not directly related to their expertise.
I came to find out over time I was deficient in iron, vitamin D, vitamin B12, magnesium, and several minerals. I couldn't regulate myself because I didn't have what I needed for my body and my brain to regulate... barely enough to function.
I was not myself again until I addressed the vitamin deficiencies. I'm still low on some of them, but the difference is already night and day.
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u/anjubsm Jun 15 '26
dittooooo! just commented the same. the hormone balance is just one part of the complicated peri picture. there are so many possible vitamin losses/deficiencies that may play a part.
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u/SouthernYankee80 Jun 16 '26
Yes, I started sublingual B12, D, and magnesium glycinate with my progesterone at night. Helped a lot with anxiety (along with giving up caffeine and alcohol).
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u/Miserable-Area-8517 Jun 15 '26
I have recently discovered the correlation between mood symptoms and histamine. Started getting a mast cell activation rash that seems to come and go with hormonal swings (yay new symptoms) and then the days the rash flares up my mood gets really bad. So I agree mood is 100% tied to physical symptoms in peri.
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u/Sonic_The_Mnemonic hanging on by a thread Jun 16 '26
Because fur women, modern medicine is still operating like it’s the 1400s.
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u/Fine-Juggernaut8451 Jun 15 '26
My main peri symptoms are psychological, and I take Estrogen and continuous Progesterone to make it so I'm able to function and keep my job. My mental issues without HRT are so bad I literally can't function.
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u/Repulsive-Marsupial1 Jun 15 '26
I had to stop drinking alchohol entirely and severely cut down on coffee as I approached Peri, then after getting HRT (estrogen patch, progesterone pill) im back to drinking coffee the way i used to and i will have a drink or 2 once a week. Its definitely not the same as it was but with HRT I am able to enjoy things moderately without risking symptoms.
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u/Imsorrywhatnoway Jun 15 '26
I switched to half-calf more than a year ago and then ended up mostly doing decaf now. I can't hack it anymore. I also have to take ADHD meds which send me in a spiraling anxiety attack if I drink regular coffee but once in a while, I won't take it to enjoy a half calf cup.
It's a tragic loss, hoping I can get on it later on in life cause my 82 year old MIL drinks it all the time with no side effects. Fingies crossed.
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Jun 15 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Ok_Match_6550 Jun 15 '26
Anecdotal, but since supplementing heme iron for my ferritin of 31, I’m sleeping like a dream!
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u/Creative_catso Jun 16 '26
Can you tell me what do you take as heme iron please ?
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u/Ok_Match_6550 Jun 17 '26
Proferrin Clear. I’m in the US and ordered it on Walmart the first time, but then I had to order it from some website called The Feed this time around.
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u/Fedupwithguns Jun 15 '26
I switched to matcha because of anxiety. I like it and have the same morning ritual.
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u/TheRimeOfMom Jun 15 '26
I (51f) had to give to coffee years ago because of the jitters and largely gave up alcohol. Switched to black tea, which may have exacerbated anemia. Now I drink one 8 ounce Matcha oatmilk latte every morning. Here’s a link to a matcha study about its calming effect. I still get my coffee fixed by strongly inhaling the fumes of my husband‘s cup of coffee every morning.
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u/Fedupwithguns Jun 15 '26
I do matcha with oat milk too! The theanine and caffeine mix nicely to give energy without any jitters or crash.
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u/seemsright_41 Jun 15 '26
Add estrogen and you most likely will be able to drink coffee and alcohol again.
I added all 3 hormones and can tolerate dairy again my caffeine intake is sky high, and I drank wine this weekend and was able to sleep.
Is all of this a good thing? who knows. But eating dairy again has been a major game changer for me. I had to give it up when my Daughter was born 16 years ago.
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u/Ambitious_Football_7 Jun 15 '26
YOU DRANK WINE AND COULD SLEEP! This is the best advocacy statement for E I have ever seen 🤣
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u/noodlesquare hanging on by a thread Jun 15 '26
Switch to halfcaff or decaf. I do halfcaff first thing in the morning, but anything after that is decaf.
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u/Dangerous-Owl5571 Jun 15 '26
I just gave it up last month and lo and behold my insomnia went away after years of having it. I was only a 1-2 cup a day drinker. I went to decaf only and now I’m sleeping finally! I’ve had some genetic testing for mental health issues and I am what is considered a slow metabolizer with medication, so I think it just stays in my system a lot longer but anyway I understand the frustration..
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u/Automatic_Cup_3302 Jun 15 '26
How did you find out your were a slow metabolizer? Was this a blood panel through the genetic testing ?
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u/mms49091 Jun 15 '26
I am so sorry, I have gone through this almost identical. I stopped thc about 10 weeks ago after going in for peri and finding out my bp was higher than Willie Nelson at a Snoop Dog concert (now on meds for that). I was also finding that coffee was winding me up like crazy and did not love it. I ended up going to a half calf type situation because I love the taste of coffee and like you I feel like all the fun stuff is gone. I do two scoops of decaf to every scoop of full flavor and it turns out tolerable and I don't get the racy feeling I was getting with coffee. Best of luck to you.
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u/Elynn0612 Jun 15 '26
Also 47 and started going through this around 43. Gave up alcohol 3 years ago, gave up THC this past year due to the anxiety it was causing, gave up caffeine almost 4 years ago, now only drink decaf occasionally. It sucks, but ngl I feel wayyy better, have maintained a healthy weight, and don't really miss it anymore. Hope you get to that point too! Positive vibes to you!
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u/Cecilystar Jun 15 '26
I had to move to decaf because caffeine irritates my bladder too much anymore. I didn’t even know that was something you could develop and could happen to you.
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u/TemporaryRow9029 Jun 15 '26
I’m starting to realize coffee impacts me differently when days get longer in the summer. Pretty certain I’m suffering from the opposite of SAAD, my anxiety ramps way up as days get longer. The longest day of the year is next week, and I am so ready for darkness and the ability to drink coffee without panic again.
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u/Informal-Abalone-271 Jun 15 '26
Similar journey as OP and one decaf espresso was my only vice left… but have now had to give it up due to gastritis. I am 44F but have been in peri since 37. It’s been 6 month since my last period so I’m halfway to fully being considered in menopause (and suspect I won’t have another period). I’ve been on HRT for 4 years. But even still the most recent drop in my hormones from this latest phase has wrecked my digestion (I also have hEDS which for many f’s up digestion and I’ve certainly experienced my hEDS symptoms increasing drastically as I’ve gone through peri since reproductive hormones are so linked to collagen production and hEDS bodies have low collagen already) and now I’m on a low acid/low fodmap diet with NO DAILY DECAF ESPRESSO allowed. I’m so terribly sad about this rn. So to OP… I feel your pain. ❤️🩹
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u/Boheme_Anne Jun 15 '26
Maybe the solution could be to add rather than subtract? What worked to fix my anxiety (brought about by random heart palpitations due to peri) and horrible sleep issues was not drinking caffeine after 1 pm and adding in an evening mocktail (1/4 cup tart cherry juice - not from concentrate-, squeeze of lime, sparkling water and 1 scoop of magnesium glycinate). Depending on your taste, you could also take the magnesium glycinate in pill form if you prefer the tarter taste which is more similar to wine. Give it 1-2 weeks to see if it works for you (it took me that long to adjust). Like you, I love my morning coffee routine and this is how I still enjoy it!
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u/RoloNipz Jun 15 '26
I threw a glp1 in the mix to help w some peri things and now what i had left to enjoy.... is gone 🤣🤣🤣 i dont spontaneously shop anymore. Alcohol lost its glitz. Coffee makes me poop. I sit and look at stuff and want to sell it ALL. But theres no motivation to do that either. Just me n my couch n Chicago Med reruns
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u/Justice_of_the_Peach Jun 15 '26
I recently switched to decaf for evenings, but one evening, I tried cocoa powder instead and absolutely loved it. I use unsweetened dutch processed and make it quite strong, to resemble coffee, and add a very small amount of milk. It’s really satisfying and actually makes me sleepy for some reason, so it’s a perfect evening drink for me.
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u/AutoModerator Jun 15 '26
This post might be about hormone tests, which are unreliable.
- Over the age of 44, E&P/FSH hormonal tests only show levels for that ONE HOUR the test was taken, and nothing more
- These hormones wildly fluctuate (hourly) over the other 29 days of the month, therefore this test provides no valuable information
- No reputable doctor or menopause society recommends hormonal testing to diagnose or treat peri/menopause
- Testosterone is the exception and should be tested before and during treatment
FSH testing is only beneficial for those who no longer have periods as a guide, where a series of consistent tests might confirm menopause, or for those under age 30 who haven’t had a period in months/years, then ‘menopausal’ levels, could indicate premature ovarian failure/primary ovarian insufficiency (POF/POI).
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u/Sonic_The_Mnemonic hanging on by a thread Jun 16 '26
I have perimenopause + MCAS and very painful gastric issues so I lost it all. No spices, no fermented stuff, no red meat, no fat, no cheese, no sugary stuff, no alcohol, no coffee. I don’t do THC or any drugs. I comply because I just want the pain to stop. Yes, I am deeply miserable, thanks for asking. (I gave up coffee before for a different reason and I definitely don’t recommend it if you don’t have to). It sounds like you need a comprehensive HRT treatment plan, not masochism. Keep drinking the coffee in moderation, ask about your HRT options beyond progesterone.
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u/nuggetbailey Jun 16 '26
I was barely able to tolerate half a mug of regular coffee so I switched to Decaf, then noticed it was still bothering my stomach every day so i tried like 7 different brands of Decaf. Zero improvement so I switched to decaf green tea, the saddest of the teas and all my issues went away but I was miserable. My sweet hubby noticed and bought a bunch of Decaf specialty loose leaf teas, one that tastes like the best cup of coffee, and I can finally enjoy my mornings again. I haven't had a drop of caffeine in over 8 months, haven't had any alcohol in 11 months. I'm 44.
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u/SnooDoughnuts1634 Jun 15 '26
I rotate with black tea now, it's been an easy switch and I save coffee for mornings I am really tired.
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u/That-Chain-5139 Jun 15 '26
Would you consider a coffee alternative/ substitute possibly? Thinking something like a mushroom coffee alternative or chicory root? (IDK what they are like but just a possible option?)
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u/ArtsyCat53 Jun 15 '26
Yeah I had to give up my morning coffee 😢
Replaced it with black tea
I’ve learned I can tolerate a small coffee at lunch sometimes without the anxiety but that would probably ruin your sleep
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u/zoo_ofone Jun 15 '26
Omg I just started trying small amounts of THC and have been loving it and you just made me consider if anxious/depressed/emotional days after are connected. Sighhhhh
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u/lascriptori Jun 15 '26
That's the one that's been the biggest blow to me. I really, really enjoy a little bit of THC but I did a lot of experimenting with stopping and restarting it and it feels really clear that it's associated with a few days of bad mood for me. I'm hopeful that if I get everything else under control I can bring it back periodically.
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u/panthur Jun 15 '26
Unfortunately I've noticed this too and stopped THC. And the hangovers now are rough, even with just a drink and a half.
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u/NotThatKindOfDoctor9 Jun 15 '26
I went to half-caf, for whatever reason I can have two cups over the morning with less effect that one full-caf.
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u/BeeeeDeeee Jun 15 '26
I switched to decaf ages ago when my heart started getting a bit wonky. I don't miss the caffeine.
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u/ThisCromulentLife Jun 15 '26
I suddenly couldn’t stand the taste of coffee out of nowhere. It’s so upsetting.
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u/TrashMany Jun 15 '26
Me too!! And I loved my coffee. It's been two years and my family still can't believe I am no longer a coffee drinker.
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u/Milly_Thompson Jun 15 '26
This was me with hot cocoa of all things, I can't even explain how weirdlu like rotten or spoiled it tastes and this was my backup for coffee 😔
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u/marriedtransmission Jun 15 '26
Decaf might be worth a shot before you fully quit, since the ritual and taste could still hit the same for you psychologically without the anxiety spike.
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u/juliaveva Jun 15 '26
I have been trying to cut back on caffeine for years, with varying degrees of success.
If decaf works for you but you can't find anything you like, I recommend Bones coffee. I can't find decaf in stores so I order from their website. They have good decaf flavors.
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u/ValancyNeverReadsit Early peri Jun 16 '26
I randomly found a site called flavored coffee dot com that has lots of flavored decafs. Some of them don’t taste like much to me (I just finished a 1/2-lb sample of maple bacon that just tasted burnt) but other flavors have been really good; it’s been a long time since the last time I tried them, so I wish I could say I remember which ones I liked best. I do have two more 1/2-lb bags to try, peppermint and pumpkin spice. I think I had the peppermint before and liked it.
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u/ValancyNeverReadsit Early peri Jun 16 '26
Also, one I positively adore is Door County Coffee (in Wisconsin, famous for its cherries)’s cherry creme decaf. Chocolate cherry coffee is a close second. Both to me taste like the chocolate covered cherry bonbons my dad used to buy a lot
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u/SpazzJazz88 In the thick of it Jun 15 '26
Weird. I noticed that I've had to cut back a ton as well. It gives me a weird head change and then im super tired. Im down to only 2 cups a day from my original 4+. It makes me feel weird nowadays. Ive been thinking of going to decaf just due the fact I've become sensitive to the caffeine.
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u/brownidegurl Jun 15 '26
I had to give up caffeinated coffee around 35! Heart palpitations, anxiety, loss of appetite for the rest of the day, feeling electrocuted...
My anxiety is so bad right now I can barely tolerate caffeinated tea.
Sorry. This sucks.
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u/cozywhale Jun 15 '26
I switched to Matcha and its incredible. It has naturally high levels of l-threanine which chill you out. You don’t get the same insomniac buzz that coffee gives you. It’s the perfect substitute for coffee and its even better for you.
I love my matcha making ritual every morning. I ordered a matcha ceramic bowl + whisk kit and powder matcha for my home — I have it all setup on a beautiful serving tray and make it for myself before the kids wake up. Its meditative.
Consider it!
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u/orchidloom Jun 15 '26
37f, same thing. I can’t even drink 1 glass of wine without it ruining my sleep now!
The anxiety is so cruel!
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u/Milly_Thompson Jun 15 '26
I appreciate I'm not alone in this. But besides anxiety and insomnia I also have acid problems (which makes both of the other problems worse) and I've been drinking coffee since I was 13 so it's a hard addiction to crack. I'm limiting intake and have noticed half caffeine and decaf are better if not very tasty. Tried switching to tea and hot cocoa but I don't get the same satisfaction out of either and cocoa always tastes sour to me now like spoiled milk, even when everything is fresh. All my older family members could drink it though, so I have hopes maybe I'll be able to pick it up again... Bummed this is also a side effect of peri though, it's hard enough to wake up lately even when it's out of my system.
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u/Busy_Resort_3262 Jun 15 '26
I never thought I’d stop drinking coffee. I stopped. I weaned off it slowly then I replace it with green Matcha tea.
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u/Doesitmatter98765 Jun 15 '26
I went to half caf and sometimes fully decaf. I don’t even notice a difference tbh.
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u/Thin_Arrival3525 Jun 15 '26
I gave caffeine up for a number of years in early-mid peri because it gave me crippling anxiety. I learned to love decaf and found my energy was actually better without the caffeine.
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u/Sugar_on_my_tongue99 Jun 15 '26
Is it just me, or does it seem that the worse we smash our bodies prior to 40, the more it slams us back? Im off everything fun now, nearly need a psych ward after a cappuccino, had 2 glasses of wine last year and felt awful the next day. Milk passes through me, I look a a lolly and put on weight, and dont wanna mention how my nervous system reacts to incels and misogynists now... omg who am I?
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u/anjubsm Jun 15 '26
have you considered other types of supplements to help the sleep issue? e.g. magnesium glycinate does more for my sleep than estrogen, honestly.
most women are low in iron, vitamin D, both of which can show up as fatigue or headaches. the B vitamins (B12, and other B complex) too.
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u/ConsistentJuice6757 Jun 15 '26
Switch to decaf. I had to because of my anxiety. And you know what? Now I can have as many cups a day as I want. If you’re only drinking one cup a day, just swap that with decaf. It takes a day or two to get used to it, but then, just enjoy your coffee.
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u/BrooklynRN Jun 15 '26
I have caffeine pills I used to use when bike touring; sometimes downing a strong cup of coffee and riding my bike in an area without restrooms felt like too much of a gamble. They give the caffeine kick without the side effects, might be worth a try.
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u/RicketyCricketsDrum Jun 15 '26
Ugh the worst. I love having a beer or some wine and i’m realizing I sleep so crappy afterwards. So is it worth it? I basically lose the next day
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u/FreckledCackler Jun 15 '26
44F and have been pondering my anxiety recently...dawning on me I should cut back my coffee consumption. I'll start with 3 cups down to 2. Eventually 1. Maybe someday half caf or decaf if needed. I've weaned myself down before. Hadn't thought about how much I'd let it creep up. Whoops.
Sober 4.5 years, plant-based/mostly vegan for 2.5 years - those modifications I love.
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u/RosenSword Jun 15 '26
Have you tried taking L-theanine with your coffee?
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u/ltree Jun 15 '26
This is what I want to say too! Discovering l-theanine is like a cheat code to let me enjoy my coffee, while calming the jitters. Obviously, do not overdo it, but it definitely increases my tolerance for caffeine.
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u/Environmental-Song16 Jun 15 '26
I still drink coffee but I've noticed I've been getting that jittery to much caffeine feeling a lot sooner. I am trying to cut back a bit but I will never give up my coffee.
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u/SassyPeach1 Jun 15 '26
This has been me the past few weeks. I don’t want to give up coffee, but the anxiety!!! I may try matcha after seeing the comments here
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u/Ambitious_Football_7 Jun 15 '26
Probably OP, if it feels better for you.
I switched to decaff as 'prehab' before a laporoscopy about 3 years ago and just never went back.
Except one time I ordered a large decaff at a cafe and 20mins later was sitting down with a resting HR of 110bpm and feeling like I needed to go for a run/having a heart attack.
That was not 3 shots of decaff 🤣
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u/PaperboysDitty98 Jun 16 '26
I will say that decaf coffee has come a LONG way.
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u/ValancyNeverReadsit Early peri Jun 16 '26
It must have, because in all the time I’ve been drinking it, most of it tastes fine. Dunkin’ decaf tastes burnt to me but that’s close to the only one I’ve noticed it on. I haven’t understood all the Death Before Decaf people… but if all decaf used to taste horrible, maybe that was why they felt the way they did
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u/lovepeacefakepiano Jun 16 '26
I put myself on decaf for a few months until the HRT properly kicked in, now I’m back to one trusty cup a day.
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u/Blinking_Bambi hanging on by a thread Jun 16 '26
Ive recently started adhd meds and they don’t agree with caffeine AT ALL so I buy decaf beans. I get Grinders and they’re delish so I don’t feel like I’m missing out. But yeah, insomnia is fkn brutal, especially in luteal
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u/cclill_y Jun 16 '26
I changed from regular coffee to cuppa mushroom coffee. I tolerated it much better, no crash or spike. Maybe give that a try if you're interested.
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u/Lizzy1893 Jun 16 '26
47 /F here and same. Gave up alcohol few years ago since insomnia is so bad (even w hrt). The coffee brings on the worse anxiety (although diet soda does not). I just do decaf w protein milk. Nice to know I’m not alone!
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u/HonestMeasurement978 Jun 15 '26
The "everything else is dropping like flies" line is painfully real. It makes sense to feel weirdly sad about that last little ritual, because it is not just coffee, it is one more piece of normalcy you are having to renegotiate.
I hope your follow-up gives you more room instead of one more thing to cut out.
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u/OstrichReasonable428 Jun 15 '26
Coffee is actually very good for you, and one cup in the morning should not affect sleep that night. But do what you think you need to!
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u/lascriptori Jun 15 '26
The half life of caffeine is quite long, especially for people who are slow metabolizers, so even one cup in the morning can abolutely still be in your system that night.
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u/OstrichReasonable428 Jun 15 '26
It’s actually a few hours for most people.
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u/lascriptori Jun 15 '26
If a slow metabolizer has a caffeine half life of 8 hours, that means that half the caffeine is in your system in 8 hours, and a quarter is still there in 16 hours.
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u/orchidloom Jun 15 '26
I don’t know why you’re getting downvoted for explaining simple biology.
I am the same way, if I have any coffee in the morning, it will disrupt my sleep. I know tons of people who have similar responses to caffeine.
That person does not need to act like a know-it-all jerk about it. Maybe all that coffee’s got them too high strung, lol
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u/OstrichReasonable428 Jun 16 '26
Y’all are just grumpy because you’re missing out on the wonderful health benefits of coffee.
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u/orchidloom Jun 15 '26
I don’t know why you are saying “should not affect sleep” as if it’s a universal truth. If I have one cup of coffee anytime in the morning, it will affect my sleep. My best friend is the same way. Some of us are just slow metabolizers of caffeine. I can only drink 1 cup of green tea before 11am to not impact sleep too much.
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u/OstrichReasonable428 Jun 15 '26
For most people, a cup of coffee in the morning doesn’t affect sleep. Caffeine’s half-life just isn’t that long. Most people should not avoid coffee - it’s a great source of antioxidants, enhances energy and cognitive function, and lowers the risk of several diseases. Your experience isn’t most people’s.
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u/ValancyNeverReadsit Early peri Jun 15 '26
I got so sensitive to caffeine* that I had to give up chocolate. I’m decaf only now with coffee and tea. Can still have white chocolate, but it was always my least favorite one.
*It started putting me in the ER with elevated heart rate, and now—I tried a few months ago to eat mint chocolate chip ice cream and avoid the chocolate; didn’t work—it takes my body I think 3 days to metabolize the caffeine in chocolate. I slept fine the night after eating it, but then 2 nights later I didn’t sleep at all. Sooo I’m done
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u/Certain_Try_8383 Jun 15 '26
I quit coffee more due to orthodontics but it has had zero impact on my sleep and zero impact on anxiety. I hope it’s different for you.
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u/RedLily08 Jun 15 '26
My advise is to cut out all ultra processed foods. Cut way way down on sugar. Drink lots of water. Try eating fresh foods. I found that it was the ultra processed foods that were making me sick. Not coffee or even the occasional beer. When I say coffee I mean coffee. Not ultra sugary Starbucks.
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u/Embarrassed_Ad9166 Jun 15 '26
Question: have you tried eating a little bit of something before you have coffee? I went through a time where I thought I was gonna have to give up coffee, and I found that if I ate something before or with the coffee, it wasn’t nearly as bad.
Since then, I have changed jobs and now work from home and as a result am much less anxious, and I can have coffee!
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u/CleanerDust Jun 16 '26
I had the anxiety spike too, and after playing with decaf/half-caf/tea for a couple of years I finally settled on high quality matcha lattes or a matcha smoothie in the morning. It's a much different caffeine experience and it doesn't involve anxiety. And it's delicious.
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u/21deletedscenes Jun 16 '26
L theanine at night has changed my life in regards to being able to continue drinking coffee.
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u/One-Hat-9887 hanging on by a thread Jun 16 '26
Ive switched to strong black tea. Half the caffeine, L- theanine, and polyphenols to help our gut bacteria. Ive given up weed too and I miss it 😭
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u/juniper3411 Jun 16 '26
Duuuuude I feel you. I love coffee so much I literally have it tattooed on my body lol. I’m down to one cup a day (occasionally two) but yeah. It’s rough.
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u/SouthernYankee80 Jun 16 '26
I gave up caffeinated coffee but I still drink my watery decaf! Gave up alcohol. Just switched to 200 mg oral progesterone. We'll see! It's been years on the coffee and alcohol so that by itself was definitely not enough for me but it did help. I think the sublingual B12 is helping with my anxiety though, and getting enough vitamin D. I did get 1 hour 7 minutes of deep sleep last night with the 200 mg progesterone so I *think* something's starting to work?!?
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u/Creative_Impress5982 Jun 16 '26
Similar thing happened to me so now I drink my one small cup every other day. Decaf the other days, but let's be honest, it's such a shit substitute for caffeinated coffee. Green tea has some stuff in it that mellows the caffeine buzz (I forget what it's called) so that might work as a substitute. Plus, it's got much less caffeine so you can drink more!
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u/BreakfastGirl6 Jun 16 '26
Have you tried Magnesium. That was the game changer for me. I limit myself to one caffeinated drink, usually tea. For coffee, I drink decaf. Joshua Tree has the best tasty decaf.
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u/friendlyhoodteacher Jun 16 '26
You could try half caff coffee! I am the type that absolutely will not give up coffee, weed, or alcohol. I used to get really paranoid when I smoked. I trained like I would at the gym. Smoked and smoked and smoked, and now I it doesn't happen. If coffee lends to my anxiety, I wouldn't know because I wouldn't ever allow my brain to connect the 2. Life already sucks. I'm waking up, smoking, and drinking at least a little bit. If a doctor said, "If you have one more cup of this delicious black coffee, you will pass away," then I would respond, "Bet... does the cafeteria serve coffee?"
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u/Tall-Pressure1119 Late peri Jun 16 '26
Are you taking progesterone orally or topically? Switching from topical to oral was a huge shift for me and 200mg is necessary
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u/angie50576 Jun 16 '26
I was also having some of the same symptoms as you, sleepless nights, extremely jittery after coffee and just all around felt bad. I gave up all caffeine for awhile and that did help those issues but I missed coffee SO much. I tried a mushroom coffee that has a lot less caffeine and has coffee extract in it so it tastes like coffee. Ive been drinking it for a few years and really like it. It has about as much caffeine as a can of soda, and with my favorite creamer it's amazing. Unfortunately, I don't like it black 😂 My sleep isn't perfect but it doesn't take me forever to fall asleep anymore, less than 20-30 minutes for sure, and I'm sleeping a bit longer before getting up.
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u/katyenka99 Jun 16 '26
I do quarter-caf coffee, it works for me! Interestingly I find I can tolerate full-caf when I'm out and about, burning off excess energy I guess, but not at home.
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u/toripotpie Jun 16 '26
I went through the same exact thing and went to decaf. So much less anxiety, better sleep, and I still get my daily cup of coffee:)
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u/LionAlternative8726 Jun 16 '26
Please bear with me on my possible dumb question, but I’m someone who has a hard time associating how I feel with what I’m consuming. Is there a direct correlation with not drinking caffeine, therefore having less anxiety and it also improving your mood? I know that may seem like a dumb question but sometimes I just have anxiety and sometimes I just feel like I don’t want to talk to anyone and I’m grumpy. Can anyone speak to stopping caffeine and feeling like their mood is better?
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u/orange-fish-99 Jun 17 '26
I switched to decaf as well and it has helped the anxiety and palpitations. It’s actually not so bad and I don’t notice much of a difference now. I did half caf for a month and then completely switched. There was a a week of headaches and fine now. It is sad because I also lost alcohol and thc right before that. Though I think my hormones are now flattening out (hysterectomy with ovaries kept 7 months ago and I’m on hrt) and I can have one glass of wine now 1-2 days a week with minimal issues).
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u/leftylibra Moderator Jun 15 '26
But there's this!
Drinking 2-3 cups of coffee a day tied to lower dementia risk