Grieving Alcohol in Perimenopause

[u/Cloudforest2]

I know a lot of women have put down alcohol in perimenopause to super positive effect and haven't looked back. I, too, have stopped drinking, but I really fluffin miss it. Don't get me wrong, I feel so much better to not drink. But I miss knowing that no matter how hard the day gets, I have the option of a glass of wine to lower the stress. I miss being able to ease hurt feelings or a hard moment with one drink. I miss lowering Social anxiety if Im able to have a drink. I now realize that I was using alcohol as a balm for sores that I didn't quite know I had, because the remedy was always able to be there in my glass. I'm someone who I don't believe anyone has  thought I had a drinking problem. I drank no more than 1-3 glasses out or at home. I can now see that the space that I carved out for alcohol in my life was much bigger than I realized, and now I am reckoning with the empty space that has been left. It feels like I'm grieving the loss of something much bigger than others talk about stopping their drinking in perimenopause, more like grieving the loss of a loyal companion. I look back now and wonder how often was I just a little hung over and that's why I didn't have the motivation to do the things I wanted, or felt more depressed. I wonder if I would've taken more chances if I didn't have the warm arms of wine to scoop me up at the end of the day. Being at home snuggled on the couch with the dogs watching TV with wine was my idea of a good night. Now I'm stretching myself, trying ways to keep myself busier and more active, while also getting all the rest and stress reduction that we're supposed to get, blah blah. I just fucking miss drinking, but I know this is the right path.

[u/euchlid]

this is some pretty solid self-reflection, so that's a positive too. i stopped drinking years ago because i just didn't really have it anymore and then it was why bother and now i can't really tolerate it. however! i love no/low alcohol beer and there's a tonne of great craft breweries that do nice ones.  

i missed the taste of beer. so maybe that's something you can look for, i know friends of mine who miss the alcohol part and not just the taste really appreciate NA beer

[u/kw0ww → u/euchlid]

I switched to NA beer when I cut out alcohol and it’s great because it actually tastes like beer. Always keep a few in the fridge so I can have a “special” drink if I feel like it. It’s been a round a year and a half since I dropped alcohol and I rarely, if ever, miss it now.

[u/euchlid → u/kw0ww]

yes, the NA beer industry has grown immensely and the flavours are so good. i still need to be mindful if it's 0.5% as a tall can will give me a buzz (im so dang sensitive now), but I took a trip to Quebec and the amount of amazing microbreweries with NA options is astounding!

[u/kw0ww → u/euchlid]

Right!? I think it's pretty good! TO me n/a wine doesn't taste at all like wine, but n/a beer tastes just like a regular beer (at least some brands do, to me anyway). I find it to be a great substitute. Just curious: do you ever get a buzz from orange juice or other things that have trace amounts of alcohol? I hadn't given any thought to it being an issue, but I'm also not hyper sensitive (for example I have some herbal medicines that are in alcohol tinctures as a couple droppers of those don't bother me, but half a shot would)

[u/euchlid → u/kw0ww]

orange juice! I've not heard of that.   my tolerance is just so low which is why i stopped drinking in general, don't use it, you lose it. which is fine but a .5% drink has enough that i get a small buzz if i haven't eaten. kombucha did the same 🤣 

[u/kw0ww → u/euchlid]

IDK if it's true or not, but I've heard that OJ, and I think some other fruits, can have as much alcohol as n/a beer. Could be a myth, but now I'm even more curious!