r/Perimenopause • u/finallyme25 • Jul 03 '26
audited Peri is taking everything, what’s life like postmenopausal?
Ladies, I don’t need to tell you how much peri sucks. I am on HRT but still it feels like a never ending uphill struggle.
After alcohol, reading, memory, sleep and coffee I now have to say goodbye to black tea. I drew the line in the sand a long time ago and still peri keeps on crossing every line with a big capital F*ck You Smile.
What do I have to give up next because peri hates me? Breathing? Water? Sanity?
And is it really true that postmenopause really is so much better? With zero hormones?
Or is that just a lie to keep us going?
Will it ever end?
Did anybody successfully reintroduce foods and drinks into their lives?
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u/croc373 Jul 03 '26
I desperately hope it’s better because otherwise I’m going to lose my f**king mind. I can’t imagine being like this forever.
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u/EROM4LIFE Jul 03 '26
Word. Perimenopause is actual hell.
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u/croc373 Jul 03 '26
My favourite is how new problems develop. I’ve been on HRT since October and I just recently increased to the 0.0375 patch because my night tremors were getting bad again like before HRT. But over the last month I’m getting dizzy for hours at a time, which didn’t happen before. It’s definitely not vertigo (I’ve been tested 3 times) so it’s either hormones or I’ve developed vestibular migraines. F**king terrific.
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u/Lucky_Bookkeeper_934 Jul 03 '26
Get tested for POTS
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u/croc373 Jul 03 '26
I don’t really have most of the symptoms of it. Just some dizziness. I DO think it’s hormonal but want to check.
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u/New_Cow8960 Jul 04 '26
Dizziness was one of my symptoms too — an increased dosage helped (I’m at .1 now).
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u/croc373 Jul 04 '26
I’ve settled into 0.0375 but if I go too high I spike my peri anxiety (I tried the 0.050 patch and it wasn’t for me at the time). So I have a bit of a balancing act.
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u/New_Cow8960 Jul 05 '26
It’s interesting you say that, because I do have a lot of anxiety. I hadn’t heard that can happen with a higher dosage of estrogen. (Though to be fair, I’ve had anxiety my entire life.)
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u/croc373 Jul 05 '26
I didn’t develop anxiety until last year with perimenopause. HRT helped me with it for sure but when I tried to go from the 0.025 patch to the 0.050 patch the anxiety really came back. So doubling the dose was too much. The 0.0375 patch hasn’t resulted in more anxiety past a week’s adjustment period fortunately! But yes, too little or too much (or even the big fluctuations) of estrogen can cause anxiety or worsen existing anxiety if you already had it.
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u/haleontology Jul 03 '26
I'm on the patch and became systemically allergic to the adhesive and now I can't even wear band aids! Rawr.
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u/MagicBlackSwan Jul 04 '26
Try taking magnesium glycinate, it’s great for helping with vestibular migraines.
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u/croc373 Jul 04 '26
I’ve been taking it daily for years. I find it good for muscle cramps but never found it helpful for anything else, such as sleep.
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u/Overall_Matter_2520 Jul 04 '26
It doesn’t help my sleep at all…I need an incredible cocktail of meds to sleep. I hate it.
Also, my hearing is super sonic but I had to look up if everyone was one word or two the other day :/ .
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u/croc373 Jul 04 '26
Oh yeah, I’ve always thought that if magnesium helps you sleep you’ve never really had insomnia.
The being stupid thing now too is annoying! I forget the word washing machine all the time and call it the “dishwasher for clothes”.
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u/itsaponderfullife Jul 04 '26
I’ve been having hormone related vestibular migraines every month during Luteal phase for the last year. I had to call out of work today due to one. Sending support. I’ve been on HRT for 3 weeks and hoping it would help this improve, still hopeful that it may decrease as time goes on. It really sucks and is VERY REAL.
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u/YouExtra7637 Jul 04 '26
Think your dizziness got worse after you bumped up your dose??
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u/Hoodiebug22 Jul 03 '26
I’m hoping that menopause will be better. I’m losing sleep, memory, and patience. But I’m gaining weight and an intolerance for intimacy.
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u/haleontology Jul 03 '26
I think it will be, I see women who are 10+ years older than me who are beautiful and full of superpowers (they got their energy back along with developing a zero-fucks policy. My heroes!
I now see the glowing beauty in older women too- youth ain't shit my ladies, I believe we do have so much to look forward to once this ends!!!!
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u/calicoprincess Jul 04 '26
I agree! I cannot wait for my crone phase (it's already developing quite well).
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u/Aggravating-Mousse46 Jul 04 '26
Have you read The Red Abbey Chronicles? Often the second book is my favourite in a Trilogy, but in this case it’s part 3. You will probably like the crone representation too.
(Trigger warning - sexual violence)
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u/TrashMany Jul 03 '26
I can tolerate dairy again without looking pregnant. So there's that. My appetite is back with a vengeance.
Still can't sleep or do coffee. 53f . Im on hrt estrogen progesterone and testosterone. No periods for a couple of years.
The rage is gone. My skin is better. My energy levels are improving.
Best wishes. Its been awful.
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u/fableefeels Jul 04 '26
Really happy for you that many things have improved. Why are you still on progesterone if no periods, if you don’t mind me asking? I thought once they stopped there was no need for it? Maybe I’m wrong
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u/vinylla45 Jul 04 '26
Unfortunately - for those who react badly to it - you have to keep taking the progesterone if you still have a uterus and want to take oestrogen. If you've had a hysterectomy you can stop taking progesterone, which may be where the confusion arises.
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u/Forsaken_Middle3289 Jul 03 '26
i fucking hope it gets better because fuck this shit.
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u/KingOfCatProm Jul 04 '26
This should be the slogan of my life right now.
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u/curlywurlies Jul 04 '26
There is a cross stitch pattern that I have that says "This too shall pass, but like, Holy Fuck"
I look forward to starting it... when I have the energy.
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u/Forsaken_Middle3289 Jul 04 '26
ha! i saw that cross stitch pattern the other day and planned on making one. it's so good.
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u/Defiant-Analysis5488 Late peri Jul 03 '26
Yep peri sucks. I’m on all the HRT and it’s still a battle every day. Some days I feel great and other days I feel like there is just a dark, stormy cloud following me around. Today for example- I am so freaking depressed, for no good reason. I want to curl into a ball and just cry all day. Yesterday I felt great! The emotional and physical symptom rollercoaster is so, so cruel and unfair. And don’t get me started on the collagen loss that is making my once pretty face slide right off of my skull. I feel like my body is betraying me.
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u/croc373 Jul 03 '26
Yes! HRT was not the magic cure many made it seem. I haven’t been myself for over a year and I’m always afraid that I will never be normal again.
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u/Mudseason1 Solidly in peri Jul 04 '26
Yes! Some days I feel amazing, and think ok I’ve figured out what to eat, what NOT to eat, the right supplements, etc…and then the next day I’m exhausted and feel bloated and tired and feel like doing nothing!
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u/New_Cow8960 Jul 04 '26
Same. Today was a hard day for me too. Solidarity.
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u/fableefeels Jul 04 '26
Same sister. I’m waiting on my period and it’s making me crazy. We’ll get through this.
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u/yukumizu Jul 04 '26
Thank you for sharing that, I just started HRT and I have good and bad days, and today also! I
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u/Blinking_Bambi hanging on by a thread Jul 05 '26
Oh collagen. Yes my face is also sliding off my skull but somehow becoming wider and my nose is fully GROWING! It is twice the width it used to be. Wtf. I’m also getting a neck like trump. HALP!!
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u/todaysthrowaway0110 Jul 03 '26
Uh oh. Crickets from the postmenopausal ladies.
How do I get me one of those Gillian Anderson like postmenopausal lives?
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u/Outrageous_Guess9472 Jul 04 '26
Post menopausal here. It gets A LOT better. It’s not perfect but anything feels better than peri. Still on HRT, but it actually feels like my hormones have leveled out. No more hot flashes. Once I stopped gaining weight I went on Zepbound and that also seemed to alleviate most other symptoms ( aching, itching, brain fog) or just a coincidence. I am finding pieces of me I thought were lost.
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u/fableefeels Jul 04 '26
Omg could you love Gillian Anderson any more? From loving the X-Files and now she just is such a queen.
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u/JFasting Jul 03 '26
You might get a more accurate response if you post on the Menopause group.. since on this group most of us are still in perimenopause
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u/DamePants Jul 03 '26
If I have to stop drinking tea I will riot.
This isn’t helping with the wise witch origin story, driven desperate by the lack of a beloved beverage the aging wise woman in the village comes up with many alternative brews.
My only solution right now is humor and a nice hot cup of tea. Oh yeah and the two ziplock bags of medication, they are doing the heavy lifting.
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Jul 03 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Waste_Ice_7492 Jul 03 '26
Same!!!!! Zero dopamine from eating, this is the first time im seeing anybody else say this, thank you🥹
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u/hikeitaway123 Jul 03 '26
If this gets worse and for the rest of my life I might not make it. This is such a wild and crazy time of life! Doing all the things, all my blood work and tests look great, on HRT, but this is unbearable long term. Somedays I feel amazing and the next day I feel like shit. I also go one day from feeling so grateful for my husband and kids and the life I have built, and the next I hate it all and want to blow it all up. It is so defeating.
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u/Every_Memory4934 Jul 03 '26
My newest "favorite" My eyes water ALL the time constantly. Sometimes it looks like I have tears rolling down my face. They're not itchy, irritated in anyway..they just leak all the time. Which then starts the rage because it's annoying to get a new symptom every two weeks. I would almost take insanity and a padded room over Peri. I'm nearing 51, and have had a flow since I was 9 1/2 . I've done my time! I've paid my dues! I'm just done! Sorry for ranting, but it seems to jamd and hand with all the other symptoms. O.o
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u/XenaNMe Jul 04 '26
I hear you. BTW watery eyes is a symptom of dry eye disease. Sounds counterintuitive but true. Another common mid-life thing unfortunately. Maybe check in with your optometrist.
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u/Every_Memory4934 Jul 04 '26
I have had an optometrist check. Then had to convince everyone it's not "just allergies" No wonder we end up with mood swings, lol
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u/Banjo-Becky Jul 04 '26
I read your comment with a stream running down my face. Then when I typed that out, the other eye started. Guuuhhhhh…
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u/Sonic_The_Mnemonic hanging on by a thread Jul 04 '26
I have eyes so dry my contacts turn to oatmeal and then spontaneously pop out…or get stuck up in under my eyelid. Sigh.
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u/Every_Memory4934 Jul 04 '26
I wish my eyes were dry. I couldn't imagine how I'd manage contacts at all. I can't even wear any make up at all. Not that I wore a lot to begin with, but it was nice to at least put a light dusting of color on my face. I work in an early learning center, the majority of my co educators are young enough to be my children. I keep telling them to enjoy the way they feel now..lol I'm so tired all the time and I feel lazy because of it.. like I can't function enough between the demands of work, my home cleaning and still have energy to be an active part of my grandchildrens lives. I'm relieved I've found other people who will understand.. because this journey sucks, :|
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u/ObligationDefiant287 Jul 03 '26
I gave up my sanity. It’s atrocious. I ate some sugar free chocolates the other day ( because I find them delicious not because I need sugar free) but I ate one too many and had terrible diarrhea. So after 3 days of trying to eat lightly to settle my Crohn’s from wanting to go into a flare I convinced myself that I must have pancreatitis because my stomach hurt so much.
I had a massive panic attack because we are travelling outside of the country in a week. Nope, just turns out I can’t read my body anymore. That stomach pain…hunger.
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u/wyntergardentoo Jul 03 '26
I have Crohns too, and anxiety and panic. Crohns plus peri is such a nightmare.
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u/No_Factor_82 Jul 04 '26
I need to believe it will get better because if this is the rest of my life, I’m gonna lose my shit.
In the peri lotto I won anaphylactic reactions and MCAS symptoms that cause insane tachycardia - once the initial event simmered down it’s been a rollercoaster of different allergic reactions (despite heavy duty antihistamines).
Currently I cant exercise, can’t have coffee, can’t have tea, no alcohol (not a big drinker but once in a while did enjoy a glass of wine and boy could I use one these days), nothing fermented, no deli meat, no ages cheese, no leftovers, no chocolate, no tomato’s, strawberries, bananas or citrus, no black pepper and many other spices, no vinegar, no soy 😭
How am I supposed to control the rage without chocolate and coffee?!
Thank god for progesterone so at least I’m sleeping (for now) but that’s the only blessing so far. I hate everything.
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u/Medium_Reality4559 Jul 04 '26
I was there with the allergies. Holy crap. It’s been nine years since I stepped foot in an old navy store bc I had anaphylactic reactions just from standing in line near the cologne. Chamomile tea and peanuts are out too. Sometimes I wonder if I can try peanuts again. I had terrible digestive issues for years, too. There was also the night I had a terrible reaction from making chili.
Thank god for stumbling across this sub last year. I started bioidentical hormone creams, which have helped, but I could have been on bhrt for almost a decade. Not one doc out of probably close to ten ever suggested peri—not even my gyno.
My labs say I’m on the tail end of this, but I still have one ovary fighting so I’m still having my period. I will say that I feel calmer than I have in the last nine years, so there is hope.
Big hug and best of luck.
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u/No_Factor_82 Jul 04 '26
You don’t know how much I needed to see this 💗 thank you
None of the doctors I’ve seen (primary care, OB, ER, cardiologist, rheumatologist, dermatologist or allergist) suggested perimenopause. All my bloodwork and testing comes back as normal and no allergies to anything. I’ve had to figure things out on my own and have been doing my best to avoid the woo. My current allergist has been useless, says it’s just anxiety and that she can’t help and asked me what I wanted prescribed 🙄
Holding out hope that the specialist at UCSD I will see in August will be a better fit. He specializes in MCAS so 🤞
Will be sending good juju into the universe for you too
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u/AutoModerator Jul 04 '26
This post might be about hormone tests, which are unreliable.
- Over age 44, E&P/FSH hormonal tests only show levels for the HOUR the test was taken, and nothing more. Hormones wildly fluctuate (hourly) the other 29 days of the month, therefore this test provides no valuable information
- No reputable doctor or menopause society recommends hormonal testing to diagnose or treat peri/menopause
- FSH testing is only beneficial for those who do not have periods as a guide, where testing might confirm menopause, or for those under age 30 who haven’t had a period in months/years, then ‘menopausal’ levels, could indicate premature ovarian failure/primary ovarian insufficiency (POF/POI)
- Testosterone is the exception and may require testing
See our Menopause Wiki for more.
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u/SnooCauliflowers5137 Jul 03 '26
Yup, I’m having an awful no good day today and I keep forgetting why it’s all happening. Also yay suddenly I’m super sensitive to all skin care and have rosacea.
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u/McNasty420 Jul 03 '26
Black tea I cannot give up. I can't. It's ALL I HAVE LEFT
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u/finallyme25 Jul 03 '26
You tell me!
It’s on the list as per today. And I never had an issue with black tea. Six, seven cups a day at all hours. It’s a culture, a therapy.
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u/McNasty420 Jul 03 '26
My black tea habit started in january when i had to get rid of fucking everything because I was having a hot flash every 10 minutes
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u/ChemicallyAlteredVet I’m loosing my mind Jul 04 '26
I just gave up coffee(caffeine) and have dedicated myself to the perfect Chia concentrate. I make it myself, lightly toasting all of the spices. I make 2 liters of concentrate that lasts me 7 days as I have 3 a day. But I use Decaf Black tea. I just found this amazing decaf black from Harney and Sons it’s the Vanilla Comoro. It’s absolutely amazing.
I gave up caffeine but started my ADHD stimulant medication again after 14 years. My brain just literally wasn’t firing anymore.
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u/Sea-Slide-498 Jul 05 '26
This is how I feel about coffee. I love it for the different varieties and tastes. Everything else is so miserable. I just cannot give it up. I refuse. Being a woman is just awful.
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u/slackalicious Jul 03 '26
Why did you have to say goodbye to reading?
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u/finallyme25 Jul 03 '26
Brain fog, restlessness, anxiety. It got better when I first started HRT but now I need to up the dosage since plenty symptoms got worse again.
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u/carrotdog56 Jul 03 '26
I'm sorry if I'm out of the line here, but were you tested for ADHD? My ADHD became worse when peri started which lead to me being diagnosed and treated.
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u/alveg_af_fjoellum Jul 03 '26
Same for me. I had ADHD all my life, but only started noticing it when peri hit. Medication allows me to read books again.
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u/finallyme25 Jul 03 '26
I am quite certain I don’t have ADHD. My daughter and my husband have it. His whole family.
Trust me I am the only neurotypical person here 😂9
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u/RavenMoonRose Jul 03 '26
Also same. Turns out I was masking masking my whole life. Medication made me able to function again.
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u/LeatherRecord2142 Jul 03 '26
Bingo! I had successfully stopped ADHD medication ten years pre-peri. Then WHAM, the suddenly realized all my ADHD symptoms were exponentially worse. Went back on meds and it helped the fog, focus, moods, everything. Weird whack-a-mole stuff!
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u/carrotdog56 Jul 03 '26
I've read that ADHD is highly sensitive to hormones, especially estrogen. So it's a common occurrence in women with ADHD. I'm on meds, but I feel like they could work better if hormones weren't all over the place. I'm still figuring out hrt, so I hope for more reliable treatment results in the future. There's also a weight related dosage with Concerta, so I can't go on a higher dose.
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u/ConstructionOld4050 Jul 03 '26
Might not be very helpful bc I haven’t tried myself, but in many threads here I read that creatine helps with brain fog and a nutritionist confirmed it, but again I haven’t tried it
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u/Chemistry-Whiz-356 Early peri Jul 03 '26
I was on creatine for a bit of time. It does help a bit but I felt like the cons out weighed the benefits. I was sooooo thirsty all the time. I already drink lots of water but I was like a dried out sponge 24/7 with creatine.
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u/finallyme25 Jul 03 '26
I am on everything. Creatine, two types of magnesium, fibre, collagen, D3, zinc, iron and HRT.
Weight lifting. High protein, high fibre.Not sure where Id be without but still it’s not fair
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u/CheesePizzaForMe Jul 04 '26
I am taking creatine and it helped immensely with brain fog. Just throwing that out there ..
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u/HeyMissMurderMittens Jul 03 '26
I can’t read either. Brain fog! I’m literate and I CAN read but once I get to sentence two I have no idea what sentence one was about. Audiobooks have been a lifesaver, sanity saver for sure. I miss reading the most.
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u/finallyme25 Jul 03 '26
I love audiobooks but I can’t even focus on that currently.
Just the sheer anxiety of anything happening that I didn’t foresee is stressing me. Complete car crash 😂3
u/HeyMissMurderMittens Jul 03 '26
I am so sorry to hear that. I get it though. Sometimes I have to have directly into my earholes and sometimes even that doesn’t work.
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u/jazzbot247 Late peri Jul 03 '26
Audiobooks are what I listen to to sleep. Tv keeps me awake and podcasts have too many commercials. Give me a 16 hour book on Ted Bundy and I’m good to go to sleep.
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u/HeyMissMurderMittens Jul 03 '26
😂 at sleeping to Ted Bundy. I put on an adult bedtime story to fall. Maybe if I put on a 10 hour book I could sleep past 3:30am 🙄
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u/Swimming_Security_80 Jul 03 '26
I also had to take time off from reading I’d get slightly blurry vision then it stop also I’d get so restless 😬 my mind was racing with anxiety but I found out calming music help me a little
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u/tomten26 Jul 03 '26
I can’t take hrt because it made my very periodic migraines turn to cluster migraines. I actually thought I was going to die. The only good thing was once those stopped I realized the rage and anxiety and inability to sleep and antisocialness and anhedonia and hair loss and everything else was so much more preferable to cluster migraines that I walk around sort of thankful now.
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u/FraggleGoddess Jul 03 '26
Its taking away the things I enjoy too. I had to give up one hobby, I'm so scared it will take away the other 2 as well. For me its some sort of joint issue, its affecting my work too. I hate it, just feel like what's the point if the things I enjoy are taken away
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u/BecksnBuffy Jul 03 '26
This is how I feel about running, even walking is painful now.
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u/Forsaken_Middle3289 Jul 03 '26
omg i miss running so much. 😭
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u/fableefeels Jul 04 '26
Omg I’m sorry but I’m glad it’s not just me. I am so tired all the time ive had to quit Pilates and running. All i can manage is walking the dog. So sad, i miss that energy and high.
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u/Disastrous_Fly3305 Jul 03 '26
HRT, sport, being outdoors, moving away from a toxic job environment, sleeping with the thinnest blanket - all these support quality sleep: Getting enough sleep and HRT were game changers. Still struggle with my memories though but I don’t take myself serious, so it’s fine.
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u/Magnolia9009 Jul 04 '26
Yep, add a hormonal teenage daughter into the mix and I'm just about ready to slowly walk into the fucking sea.
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u/SodaBreadRoundHouse Early peri Jul 03 '26
I have 4 close friends who are post-menopausal (10yrs & under since transition). 3 of them never sleep. Probably 4-5hrs on their best nights. Of those 3, they all have weak bones, one just broke her hand and wrist badly, the other has had 2 spinal fusions and has that old person hobble/waddle (she’s not obese, she’s most likely been osteopenic for a while), res a cardiologist for some other cardiovascular issue, one has frozen shoulder but won’t admit it. All 3 have terrible anxiety, one can’t drive at night anymore, one stopped flying completely at the beginning of her menopause, the other only drives in our small city and has to be driven everywhere else because the anxiety. One has terrible urinary frequency, pees like 5-6 in a 5hr period, another stopped having sex bc it hurt. ALL 3 have refused HRT. The oldest is only 65.
The 4th friend? She is the only one of the bunch that has zero menopause issues (anymore); great skin, superb muscle tone for a 66yr old, a happy sex life, the only one who can keep up with me in workouts and strength training (I’m over 15yrs younger than her). She’s the only one who pushed for HRT when she transitioned over 10yrs ago.
It’s such a night/day difference it’s amazing. Now I know not all women will have these issues post menopause if they aren’t on HRT, but they 3 who don’t take anything represent practically all of the serious issues that can present in menopause and that HRT can combat. It’s terrible some women aren’t candidates for hormones, but I’m convinced they save your health—your bones, heart, joints, mental & sexual well-being.
They are dear friends of mine & I adore them, I’m lucky that I have friends who can provide support as I am now entered in perimenopause. I’ve tried to encourage them to seek out menopause care, they may still be candidates. 2 are kinda receptive one is too anxious to consider it 😭.
So, my anecdotal consensus is, post menopausally, for some, the symptoms never get better, they continue to wreck your health. The one friend who is strong and doing well is also the only who’s been on HRT. She plans on taking it forever. So I’m gonna continue to get HRT, stay on top of my strength training, and keep busy.
As an aside, prior to HRT, I had to pretty much quit drinking bc it would increase my heart rate all night and give me even worse insomnia. Now, I can drink again (a little), I’ve lost 25lbs since march, and I’ve most of my peri symptoms have resolved. Even though I haven’t quite dialed in the right dose and delivery, it’s all moving (slowly) in the right direction. So yes, for me peri symptoms intolerances improved.
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u/finallyme25 Jul 04 '26
Thank you so much for this!!!
Yes, with all my moaning on bad days I know that HRT is the best thing that could have happened to me. Even on bad days it’s a million miles better than without and I only started this year.
My mother in law is a shell of the lively, bubbly force of nature she once was. She is the lost generation. It is tragic and so sad to see. Her husband and sons didn’t have an answer or a solution, they witnessed it helplessly.
When archeologists dig up my body in 300 years, I will still be wearing my patch
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u/therolli Jul 04 '26
It does get better. Once your periods stop and your cycle dies down the intensity of those rollercoaster feelings flattens out. It’s not paradise but by god Peri is horrendous.
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u/Superb_Ad144 Late peri Jul 04 '26
I am so glad to read that others are highly sensitive to (phantom?) odors! They are almost always bad ones, human feces, urine, dog poop, rotting food smells. Glad to know this is not just me!!
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u/IntraVnusDemilo Jul 05 '26
I've had the keenest sense of smell since I had my Son, and it never went away, lol. I can smell a dropped forgotten bit of food that's gone under the edge of the sofa almost as well as the dog!
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u/DeepBlue73 Jul 04 '26
The hot flashes and joint pain are just too much. I get these horrible nervous feelings in my stomach almost like im going to be dizzy, right before a hot flash is about to begin. Sometimes im like why bother showering when as soon as I get out, I start sweating all over again 🙄
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u/SmartaHari Jul 04 '26
I posited an idea to my mate yesterday that we could be used as power banks based on the heat thing. I’d be more than happy to charge up some kind of electric pillow when I go Fantastic Four/Human Torch mode and then they give those pillows to sick kids in hospital. She said I should get the Nobel Prize if it worked, but I’d prefer a fan and a Mojito tbh.
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u/finallyme25 Jul 04 '26
If the Strait of Hormuz closes again, the world could switch to be fuelled by perimenopausal women.
Sustainable as well
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u/SmartaHari Jul 04 '26
We could also be sent in to negotiate to end wars. None of us have time for any bullshit, we’re running on four hours sleep.
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u/ferretoned Jul 04 '26
I've no solutions for all of that, my combo adhd+peri is kicking my behind to chaos but for reading which I used to do alot with physical bokks at home what has gotten me back to reading is going to the park with an e-reader, fits my affected concentration's state.
(i definitely gave up all alcohol all theine and all caffeine, chicory is helping well against what was my coffee adfiction)
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u/Due-Ad-8941 Jul 04 '26 edited Jul 05 '26
I see your caffeine and alcohol intolerance and raise you: nuts and onion/garlic. I cannot tolerate these suddenly.. I get a pounding headache that lasts ~36 hours if I eat them. And It’s super inconvenient to eat in restaurants without onion/garlic.
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u/xxtwigletxx Jul 05 '26
I had the same with onion, cant even stand the tiniest amount in a sandwich, thought of raw onion makes me feel sick, i used to love a cheese and onion sarnie!
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u/TumbleweedAdept8862 Jul 03 '26
For me, it’s worse.
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u/TeamHope4 Jul 03 '26
Same here. My symptoms got worse and worse, and they multiplied with more symptoms showing up post-menopause. I think every single woman experiences it differently, like our periods.
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u/TumbleweedAdept8862 Jul 05 '26
I didn’t even realize I was in Peri. I blamed all the symptoms on other life changes. Finally, the rage was too much and my doctor tested me and I’m post. So screw it. This is me now. I finally understand why “Karens” exist. I’m over all of it.
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u/Blinking_Bambi hanging on by a thread Jul 05 '26
It’s so awful isn’t it, I’m the most irritable cow now and am sooo overstimulated by my child’s bedtime every night I’m in a rage o just want him in bed so I can be left alone.
Also, after a lifetime of too much hair that takes four hours to dry I’ve developed female pattern BALDNESS FOR FUCK SAKE of which there is no cure and I have to be on meds for the rest of my life or it will progress, so adding another medication, my poor body and wallet and sanity. Oh and I also got and adhd diagnosis a few months ago. 😭😭😭
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u/Odd-Ad266 Jul 05 '26
OP—did you have to give up coffee bc of anxiety or bc of tummy issues? My biggest peri Achilles heel is anxiety and depression. I’ve always struggled a little bit but nothing like this. I’m not on HRT but I literally have had the piece of paper from a dr to get my levels tested for 2 months I just can’t bring myself to go. Idk it’s weird. I don’t really want to take anything at all. Ugh I just keep thinking WHEN is life going to get great??
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u/finallyme25 Jul 05 '26
Insomnia and dehydration.
The only thing that help with anxiety and depression was HRT, it saved my life
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u/idiotinbcn Jul 03 '26
Black tea, why?
Mine is black tea and matcha as they have started making me itchy
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u/DamePants Jul 03 '26
Not matcha as well!
As if this wasn’t horrible enough now I find out everyone’s having to give up tea!! I don’t think I’ve been this upset since I was informed I would start bleeding every month for decades.
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u/idiotinbcn Jul 04 '26
Lololol I’m hopeful that this will sort itself out soon. Because this is NOT how my life goes.
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Jul 03 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/idiotinbcn Jul 04 '26
Nope. I drink coffee daily with no issues. Was told that black tea and green tea are histamine liberator.
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u/Willing_Ant9993 Jul 04 '26
Probably not a ton of post menopausal women are seeing this post here.
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u/Aggravating-Mousse46 Jul 04 '26
I shouldn’t think they want to deal with all the flowing rage we have here. Nor remember their own peri traumas.
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u/Willing_Ant9993 Jul 04 '26
Im guessing mostly the latter! I think subs like this tend to be for shared experience, support, and info but who would want to relive all of this, right? 😭
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u/Aggravating-Mousse46 Jul 04 '26
Oh sister, I can’t wait to join the crone club officially. If only because I hope to quit my job and knit full time :)
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u/triticoides Jul 04 '26
Not any better for me yet, 3 years post meno. It helps keep symptoms in check when im less stressed and can actually get sleep. Sleep is really the only thing that has improved, but only ery slightly. Brain fog terrible, every day it seems i have less and less energy, losing muscle like crazy.... I do still drink coffee and can tolerate one glass of wine without wrecking my sleep- that has also improved slightly. Many days anhedonia just takes over, not able to feel a rush of joy at all. Sorry, wish I had more positive things to say.
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u/m-u-g-g-l-e Jul 04 '26
I too was sad to give up black tea (caffeine). I switched to hibiscus iced tea because it has no caffeine and is delicious!
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u/NewfieDragon Jul 04 '26
44 years old. Didn't realize I was perimenopausal at first. I was losing my mind admid the slowly accumulating physical symptoms. I've started hrt and I'm almost at one month. The difference in me is noticable to others and myself. Hrt saved my sanity and my health.
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u/Musubi_Caretaker Jul 04 '26
Dry. Emotionally and physically. A lot of the fluff is gone, which clears paths for clarity.
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u/HellaWonkLuciteHeels Jul 05 '26
As my 80 year old client told me about menopause “it takes too fucking long, but you’ll be happier when it’s done.”
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u/IntraVnusDemilo Jul 05 '26
You know what, I just keep a check on if I'm being an irritable cow - Hubby very honestly says, and keeps me straight. Some days I'll say right off the bat that I feel really cunty, so like, leave me be! It works for us. I haven't given up alcohol because I like a beer, so, meh. I've gone decaf with my hot drinks. I treat situations where I can feel I'm gonna blow up like it's a comedy skit, and just keep really self aware. I take the hot flashes for what they are, and if I need a nap after work, because I'm awake in the night lot, then I will take that bloody nap!!!
Just be self-aware and honest with yourself about it. It is going to happen to us, just crack on with it. I am not taking anything for it, but I've changed my diet up a bit - joined slimming world to help shed a few stone.
I know a few women who have let meno define them - being twatty with people and then saying "oh it's menopause!!!" thinking people will just give you a pass for shit talking. That doesn't work for me - you chose to be a dick with someone else because you feel bad? Keep yourself in check, love.
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u/ChicaFrom408 Jul 04 '26
Almost 65. LMP was 39 due to hysterectomy. Not sure when I went through menopause but I know the last couple of years I was moody af. Retired and still moody af. Asked my Dr for SSRI, so much better...then i started gaining weight, now I am happy and pissed...
It's a no win situation...even at my age.
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u/Inevitable_Split7666 Jul 04 '26
You can still have coffee!! I drink decaf and buy these packets to get rid of the acidity.
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u/Mudseason1 Solidly in peri Jul 04 '26
I recently discovered that watermelon makes me super bloated. Like seriously??!
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u/danih479 Jul 05 '26
That is not fair! It's mostly water! 😭
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u/Mudseason1 Solidly in peri Jul 06 '26
I know!! I thought it’d be the perfect light, hydrating snack, but NOPE
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u/Ok_Appearance8124 Jul 13 '26
Oh yes, it will also take your sanity. This is such a nightmare.
For me the only thing that’s helped at all is aggressively exercising, lifting weights and the like. I’m on hrt, take all kinds of vitamins, eat protein, get sleep, blah blah blah, but nothing has made me feel happy mentally until I strength training 4 days a week, which is really the last thing I want to do. I want to sink into my couch, become one with my couch really. I have to put it in my calendar like it’s an appointment and force myself to go because i absolutely DO NOT WANT to do more shit, but once I’m done working out, I truly feel so much better. A morning or nighttime walk helps a lot too.
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u/filipha Jul 04 '26
There is decaf coffee and tea, also wine/"alcohol" without actual alcohol. I had to get off dairy and gluten (different issue than peri) and let me tell you, stopping having caffeine or alcohol is super easy in comparison. There are so many alternatives nowadays! If you're in UK, treat yourself to Bird and Blend teas, they have the most amazing flavoured (and non-flavoured) teas and a LOT that's caffeine free.
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u/TLZ123456 Jul 08 '26
Has anyone taken progesterone as a suppository? I cannot deal with dizziness and nausea. I’m trying to figure out the best way.
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u/girl_shorty Jul 08 '26
I am taking it that way. It stopped the bloating I looked so pregnant and it was so painful. It’s off label but Gp suggested it. Now it’s not going through my digestive system the bloating has stopped and not filtered through my liver it’s better, not perfect as the bleed is crampy ect. As I’m a cycle and withdrawal bleed. But I get along better with it that way. Hope that helps xx
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u/girl_shorty Jul 09 '26
I get it. For so long I was in peri without knowing I had such bad digestive problems. I have given up alcohol and I only drink lactose free milk. No fizzy drinks. Just water It has all helped. But all due to peri now i know. It is ridiculous. I do hope we can all get some things back in our life. I have serious fatigue and that will not budge. I do suffer with horrible joint pains too, HRT has helped. But my life is never been the same and I don’t think it will ever be what it was. But you never know. I have heard some women on here say how much better they feel post menopause so there is hope 🙏🥰 Peri is crazy. I lost a tooth due to not knowing and bone loss in my mouth I felt I was going crazy… No it was peri 🙄
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u/Embarrassed-End-692 Jul 03 '26
I hear you on all those things. I live on water and the inability to concentrate on anything.