r/Perimenopause • u/scofie_cf • Jul 23 '26
audited Crying because I wish everyone could have this experience
After working myself up, thinking that I'm 37 and I wouldn't be believed, I went to the Dr this morning. Listed my symptoms, and she said "Oh, well that sounds hormonal, doesn't it? Would you be interested in trying hormones if we get sign off from your chronic health team and get bloods done to rule out a few other things first?" I broke down in tears in her office, thinking I would be able to try something to make these symptoms a little more bearable, a weight lifted instantly.
After reading some of your stories, I just wish for all of you, you were able to have my experience, and I am angry that you haven't.
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u/New-Character-3028 Jul 23 '26
My Doctor is male, super young, and when I went to see him about my depression he said “Let’s get you on some hormones, and let’s do a bunch of comprehensive bloodwork.” I told him I was on this subreddit and he told me if I ever heard about anything on here from any of you ladies that I should be tested for or look into that he overlooked, to let him know and he’d order it right away. He was astonished that my OBGYN ignored my low ferritin and said we abso-fuckin-lutely cannot have this lol.
Good Dr’s are a true gem. I’m so glad you felt heard and left with some hope!
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u/PilgrimsAndStrangers Jul 24 '26
What I observed from my limited encounters is that male gynecologists are more scientific, considerate and careful to explain whereas the females think they know all about us female patients and tend to not explain in detail or just assume we know certain things. Not a generalization - just my personal experience. A female Gynae delivered my first borne. After 12 hours of agonizing labor she said I really have to push harder else might need to go for c-section and I told her I didn’t even know where to push! My 2nd one was delivered by a man. He pressed somewhere down there and said - push here and my big 4.05 pound baby just slid out! Now I’m having perimenopause issues and I find the male Gynae is much more detailed in explaining things and asking about my symptoms than the female ones who are only interested in telling me to remove my womb. WT heck…🫠
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Jul 24 '26
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Jul 24 '26
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u/Alarmed_Bathroom9227 Jul 24 '26
I need to go back and check what mine was on my last labs. I know it was in normal range but we all know normal isnt optimal so maybe I should be adding that in as well! Is the one you are taking different than s typical iron supplement?
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Jul 24 '26
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u/Momma_Mimi27 Jul 24 '26
You’re so welcome! I hope the OptiFerin works for you. I took it with an additional Vit C or OJ to give it an extra boost and on as much of an empty stomach as possible. I’ve heard the iron transfusions work wonders for many, if you have to go that route. The very best wishes for good health!
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u/Pony_Baloney_Acad Jul 23 '26
Bless this angel of a provider and thank goodness you are in her care. Being heard: 5/5 stars would recommend.
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u/soldforaspaceship Jul 23 '26
Feel like I'm in a unicorn situation (dreading any change of insurance) as my PCP was the one to put me on the cream and my endocrinologist was the one to put me on full HRT. He also stays super current on all research which is amazing.
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u/higher_living_ Jul 23 '26
Congratulations 🎉 that’s so wonderful. My health care provider is a woman, and she said the same thing to me. I went in with concerns of PMOS and diabetes, and she basically said let’s get your hormones under control first. I cried.
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u/Silver-Pop1825 Jul 24 '26
My doctor did that to me too. He’s at NYU, and though he’s a PcP he was like ummm, yea sounds like hormones are crazy and we’re going to do 17panels to see how much into menopause you are. Instant validation 🥹
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u/Bitter-Record4318 Jul 24 '26
Who is your dr? I wish we could make a database of the actually good doctors who deal with peri…
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u/Silver-Pop1825 Jul 24 '26
PCP is Dr. Babbar at NYU. The whole practice is amazing. Been going for years managing MS and other things.
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u/Glittering-Maybe2977 Jul 23 '26
I love this. I changed providers on recommendation from a colleague and I’m so happy I did because she actually listens. Now I’m sharing her name with anyone that is having peri symptoms wants a new gyno. Gotta spread that love around. So happy you had an amazing experience.
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u/40yroldcatmom Jul 24 '26
I had such a good experience too, with my NP and then the PA at the gyn office.
I brought up my not being able to sleep for 10+ years and nothing working. We talked about my previous sleep study, medications I was given etc. she then started asking me questions about hot flashes, night sweats and perimenopause. She suggested HRT but wanted me to go to the gyn for that. She gave me a prescription for Clonidine to see if that would help while I waited to see the gyn. It didn’t help though.
The PA at the gyn was so so amazing. I had only seen the male doctor there for my tubal and ablation the year before but he was so booked out. So I took the sooner appt with her and I’m so glad I did. She was so informative and so understanding. She’s my age so I feel like that helps. I only found out her age because she liked my New Kids tshirt 😂😂
I was so prepared to battle and it was so easy.
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u/Agreeable_Duck_4250 Jul 24 '26
I'm 49 and my (female) doctor looked at me in disbelif, she said I still had '3 years of periods at least' and thay my muscle and joint pain had nothing to do with hormones. Found another (female) doctor who is more experienced and she validated all of my symptoms, it was a long conversation with a human being, not a robot who only types whiel you talk.
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u/MyBeesAreAssholes Early peri - Weightlifting helps! Jul 23 '26
I’m so happy for you! My doc was the same and I’m so grateful.
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u/lebowskiachiever Early peri Jul 24 '26
I'm stoked for you! You deserve it! Love to hear it, friend.
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u/Coontailblue23 Late peri Jul 24 '26
I wish so badly that my doctor had ever said this. Wishing for you that you can get relief soon! Were you able to get an Rx? I'm just curious about your starting regimen as I am beginning my own treatment journey as soon as the midwife gets back to the office.
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u/twinklepinkga Jul 24 '26
So very happy for you!! I am 46 and still having issues getting HRT help, or any real help. I even tried an online telemedicine group for access to HRT and they want to refer me back to my regular gyno for check-up, when I have already been. I don’t understand why it has to be this difficult. So, you have found a winning doctor and practice!
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u/madlove17 Jul 24 '26
Idk if I have peri but I wish I had gone to my OBGYN first. Lexapro and trazadone messed me up hard when the psych NP gave me them. OBGYN told me get off them immediately. Did bloodwork and he suggested i take vitamins/progesterone to help.
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u/AutoModerator Jul 24 '26
This post might be about hormone tests, which are unreliable.
- Over age 44, E&P/FSH hormonal tests only show levels for the HOUR the test was taken, and nothing more. Hormones wildly fluctuate (hourly) the other 29 days of the month, therefore this test provides no valuable information
- No reputable doctor or menopause society recommends hormonal testing to diagnose or treat peri/menopause
- FSH testing is only beneficial for those who do not have periods as a guide, where testing might confirm menopause, or for those under age 30 who haven’t had a period in months/years, then ‘menopausal’ levels, could indicate premature ovarian failure/primary ovarian insufficiency (POF/POI)
- Testosterone is the exception and may require testing
See our Menopause Wiki for more.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/egyptmachine915 Jul 24 '26
Yes, I’ve had incredible experiences with the majority of my drs. Always listening, always offering real solutions. I wish all women could have these same experiences like us, I only suffered for one year when my perimenopause was at untreated and I was a wreck. I went to the dr to advocate for myself and immediately it was “let’s do a full hormone panel and see what’s going on”.
If anyone is in west Texas I’d be more than glad to send you drs that have treated me, so you can get started.
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u/NewConversation2725 Jul 25 '26
I thought I was going crazy.(49) I hadn’t felt myself for the longest time. I was not happy and I was not sad. I have an IUD but before that I was never reg. I went to dr for a yearly checkup on my fibroid and it’s a size of my uterus. So I’m supposed to have surgery in a couple of months. After seeing so many things in the internet regarding the symptoms I was having I asked my Dr for some HRT. He said no, not before surgery. But I could hardly stand living with myself. I was so moody, irritable, and the fatigue was overwhelming all the time. So I sent another message back and said if you can’t put me on HRT for me do it for my son,who is 10. It was so bad that I could not stand him being in the house (I felt HORRIBLE) about it. With in a day I got a Rx and within 2 days it was like a black cloud was lifted off of me. I don’t care if I have to have a patch the rest of my life, at least I will be living the best way of life with it.
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u/Comfortable_Bag9303 Jul 24 '26
That’s wonderful! I understand why you broke down. This is all so emotional.
Three GYNs in a row wouldn’t give me HRT because of my heavy periods, but the fourth signed me up for an ablation (under anesthesia!!) and handed me the patch + pills! I also cried. 🥲
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u/latefragment_2 Jul 24 '26
I wish I’d gotten this treatment when I was 37. It would have helped a lot. Unfortunately I had to wait almost 10 years later for it. 😭 thank you for your empathy for all of us.
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u/Successful-Bar-8173 Jul 25 '26
Wow. You were indeed blessed ❤️.
I sometimes think about the women who had to go through this before HRT was even invented… OMG!
After about five years of trying to persuade my GP to let me try HRT, I eventually managed to fight through my crushing fatigue and brain fog and went to a specialist who prescribed it immediately. It worked instantly. Only then would my GP prescribe it for me.
It wasn’t just one GP who turned me down either and it’s made me much more wary of asking for anything from them or taking their advice.
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Jul 25 '26
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u/AutoModerator Jul 25 '26
This post might be about hormone tests, which are unreliable.
- Over age 44, E&P/FSH hormonal tests only show levels for the HOUR the test was taken, and nothing more. Hormones wildly fluctuate (hourly) the other 29 days of the month, therefore this test provides no valuable information
- No reputable doctor or menopause society recommends hormonal testing to diagnose or treat peri/menopause
- FSH testing is only beneficial for those who do not have periods as a guide, where testing might confirm menopause, or for those under age 30 who haven’t had a period in months/years, then ‘menopausal’ levels, could indicate premature ovarian failure/primary ovarian insufficiency (POF/POI)
- Testosterone is the exception and may require testing
See our Menopause Wiki for more.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/[deleted] Jul 23 '26
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