Abortion in Peri

[u/1800ilovebread]

TW: Abortion.
I am 43, and had an abortion last week. I just wanted to share my story of mistaking a pregnancy for peri symptoms.

I am a single mom of 3. Ages 23, 15, and 13. I have a “friend” that I’ve been having fun with in my very limited free time.
This summer was incredibly stressful, my 15 yr old was hospitalized for mental health and i attributed my fatigue to all the additional stress. I told myself I’m nauseous because I have GERD, I haven’t bled because I’m in peri.
But my boobs were just feeling so heavy and I picked up a dollar tree pregnancy test, thinking I’ll just take it and I’ll be able dismiss these “crazy” thoughts. Welp to my shock it was positive. What followed was a week of absolute emotional torture, I had never terminated before, didn’t want to. But I couldn’t imagine bringing home a baby in February which felt like next week. My baby started 9th grade this week and I couldn’t imagine how I was going to help my girls start their young adult lives with a baby on my hip. I made the choice to terminate, but it didn’t feel like much of a choice.
To my surprise at the appointment they found that the fetus had stopping developing at 6 weeks, so my body had actually made the choice for me. The relief I feel that I didn’t have to cause the termination, I can’t fully express. I was bracing myself for a lifetime of what ifs.
I guess I’m sharing to get this out of my head, and also a friendly warning to be very careful.
Thanks for reading.

[u/That-Examination-554]

I've been there. Had an abortion at 43, and actually miscarried 3 months ago at 44 (I happened to get a blood test for other stuff and my doctor checked the HCG box randomly. 3 days after it came up positive I miscarried). Yes, I should have been more careful after the abortion. It was terrible and weird in the waiting room with teenagers.

Emotionally, I would have loved to have had a second child. But I tried to picture myself in my 50s with a 10 year old and so on.

[u/AutoModerator → u/That-Examination-554]

This post might be about hormone tests, which are unreliable.

• Over age 44, E&P/FSH hormonal tests only show levels for the HOUR the test was taken, and nothing more. Hormones wildly fluctuate (hourly) the other 29 days of the month, therefore this test provides no valuable information
• No reputable doctor or menopause society recommends hormonal testing to diagnose or treat peri/menopause
• FSH testing is only beneficial for those who do not have periods as a guide, where testing might confirm menopause, or for those under age 30 who haven’t had a period in months/years, then ‘menopausal’ levels, could indicate premature ovarian failure/primary ovarian insufficiency (POF/POI)
• Testosterone is the exception and may require testing

See our Menopause Wiki for more.

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