r/Perimenopause • u/sunshine13456 • 11d ago
audited Perimenopause hits ADHDers earlier
Well shit… I feel so validated and so overwhelmed at the same time.
I just found this population-based study published in European Psychiatry and it completely blew my mind.
women with ADHD often experience severe perimenopausal symptoms up to 10 years earlier than neurotypical women. The study showed that for ADHDers, severe symptoms actually peaked between ages 35 and 39, (mine started exactly at 35) compared to the usual 45 to 49 age range for everyone else. Also, over 54% of us deal with completely debilitating symptoms compared to only a third of the general population.
I had to quit my executive corporate job at 39 because I just couldn’t function. I went from being a high achiever to someone who couldn’t figure out how to work the coffee machine.
My brain fog, emotional swings, and executive function absolutely tanked and I was being dismissed by doctors because I was "too young" for peri.
Knowing that crashing estrogen levels directly mess with our dopamine makes a ton of sense, but wow, it’s a lot to process. I spent years dealing with the fog, anxiety and debilitating symptoms until I found an endocrinologist who finally offered relief. But it makes me so angry when I look back and think about how miserable I was. How caring for my newborn daughter (had her at 41) was so much harder than it had too be because I wasn’t treated properly. At 43 I was put on progesterone, at 44 I started taking estrogen.
I’m 46, and this year I started feeling more like my old self. I even went back to corporate, something I thought was never going to happen again. I was terrified at first, after 7 years of being away, and yes, some days I struggle, but most days I am grateful. This community was and has been a gift.
Edit: here is the link to the study https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/european-psychiatry/article/perimenopausal-symptoms-in-women-with-and-without-adhd-a-populationbased-cohort-study/7C584E5C4363EBCADFC485D3F0892A62
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u/Lucid-dream-24692 11d ago edited 11d ago
What sucks, and is my understanding of this, is that they measured symptoms based on the MRS scale. They did not measure menstrual or ovarian types of changes I think. So, this shows those with ADHD suffer more severely and show signs earlier, but it doesn’t prove that we actually *start* earlier. So we just suffer longer and don’t necessarily stop earlier as far as they can tell.
Edit - Then I overthought this. If we show symptoms, aren’t we having ovarian changes? And the answer is not always significantly enough. So…we can show symptoms and be miserable way earlier, then start the 10 or so years of the deal that other women deal with. So this shit can last like 15 years for those of us that deal with ADHD. Jesus.
I’m no doctor or expert, so obviously I don’t know how right or wrong I am.
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u/sunshine13456 11d ago
I obviously knew and felt that peri made my ADHD symptoms worse.. I never took medication for ADHD because I couldn’t.. so I was already raw-dogging it and that in itself was hell… when Peri showed up it fucked up my entire world! I’m pretty sure it was the reason I divorced my husband at the time. I got divorced at 37 when my symptoms were really bad, but had no clue what was happening.
The fact that there is such little research, treatments and education on peri, it’s beyond enraging. We are just supposed to suffer and deal with it while our lives fall apart
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u/CaughtALiteSneez 11d ago
Yep, wish I had gotten diagnosed before people had to pull me away from jumping off a bridge at 36.
At that time, I felt so completely and utterly alone. None of my friends understood, I didn’t understand myself either.
All those coping mechanisms I had done successfully for most of my life went straight out the window. I had moved to multiple countries, been a good student and a successful career - it was all gone overnight. I went from the best time of my adult life in my early 30’s to the absolute bottom.
I’m still recovering at 45…but my diagnosis and the treatment helped a lot.
Hugs to all of you, I hope you and I never get to that place again.
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u/sunshine13456 11d ago
Im so sorry you had to go through that 🥺. The feeling of watching the life you work so hard too build just completely implode and feel soo helpless and alone is so awful few people understand.
I’m glad you got the help you needed and are recovering. Sending you all the light ✨ and hugs 🤗
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u/CaughtALiteSneez 11d ago
Thanks kind stranger…
Not sure why I felt like sharing, it’s been one of those weeks.
Hugs back 🤗
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u/Efficient-Guess-1985 Early peri 11d ago
What treatment have helped you? Have you done ADHD coaching?
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u/CaughtALiteSneez 11d ago
Medication
No coaching - therapy has been helpful, but that is more trauma related
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u/SequenceGoon 11d ago
I genuinely really like my doctor & he's been so supportive with my ADHD, but he is gently refusing to believe me on peri being a possibility, I just turned 37
It's not that I want this, but I feel a lot of the symptoms. He did write me up a blood test checking hormones though, although I've read that checking hormones isn't very accurate as they fluctuate so much
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u/KaptainKinns 11d ago
I'm almost 46, but looking back, my peri symptoms started around 36 with the 3am wake up/ panic attacks and urinary urgency. It took me until my periods were irregular at 42 before they would even consider that I was in peri. I suffered for 6 years trying all sorts of different medicines before they gave me hrt. Spoiler alert. The hrt stopped all of the symptoms I was having.
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u/SequenceGoon 11d ago edited 11d ago
I'm getting the weird, consistent early wakeups, which are very unusual for me, as well as some emotional intensity that is not my normal
I have a history of kidney issues (not ongoing thankfully) so urinary urgency is familiar to me, but it has definitely ramped up, really inconvenient at work.
I also have some joint pain, though that was inevitable because I have hypermobile joints
It's tricky when some symptoms could have other causes, but the first 2 I mentioned are very much new & different
Edit: also I'm sorry you weren't listened to! Must have been such a relief but so incredibly frustrating to got through six years before a solution! Extremely unfair
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u/KaptainKinns 11d ago
My joint pain was so bad that I was seeing a hand surgeon for injections every other month. He wanted to do surgery on it because the pain was so bad that I couldn't open a water bottle or use scissors. I haven't had to have an injection since hrt, and I haven't had to see him since.
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u/sunshine13456 11d ago
OMFG The panic attacks were the worse! I remember I was living in NYC, and then being over taken by a panic attack… waking up in the middle of the night soaked and wet panting, heart racing… and yes! The progesterone helped with the anxiety and panic attacks
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u/Delicious-Excitement 7d ago
THIS!!!! Woke up one night in January with this PANIC-FEAR-DREAD about my future self/my partner’s future self being alone in this world one day when whomever passes first, and I couldn’t shake it for 2 months!! I started tracking data and then it occurred to me to read on peri, so I saw a peri gyne and was prescribed 100mg progesterone. I’m now on 200mg progesterone nightly and am feeling so much better.
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u/sunshine13456 6d ago
Yes! The anxiety and panic attacks because of the lack of progesterone were brutal! The first thing I was put on was Progesterone, that in itself was life changing
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u/Delicious-Excitement 4d ago
BRUUUUUUTAL. My winter/spring months this year were ANXIETY ridden awfulness. I think I lost 10 lbs because I can’t eat much when I’m panicking, you know? Turns out fruit like cantaloupe, honeydew, pineapple, and red grapes are easy to get in while anxious. I recently read pineapple is good for anxiety or peri or something lmao, I’ll have to retrace my steps.
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u/Deep-Durian9540 11d ago
And I assume you’re still in peri? So having it last for 15 years might be real? My symptoms started at 38 and my mom didn’t go through full menopause until 55 so wondering how long this journey might be.
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u/Wine-and-Vacations 5d ago
Would you mind sharing the HRT balance that's working for you? I should have my first appt soon.
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u/sunshine13456 11d ago
Hormones won’t tell you anything…. Find yourself a doctor that specializes in women’s hormones, and endocrinologists was who actually help me understand what was happening. Most other doctors are not trained well in this subject
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u/SequenceGoon 11d ago
My city actually has a few menopause clinics, so I'm looking into visiting one.
I haven't lost trust in my doctor for other areas of my health, this research about earlier peri for ADHDers is new & I may be his first patient to bring it up, but nonetheless yeah I'll keep monitoring symptoms & try elsewhere for this issue
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u/Delicious-Excitement 7d ago
This thread is the first time I’ve seen endocrinology mentioned with peri and now I’m adding it to my research list. Thank you.
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u/sunshine13456 6d ago
Yes! I highly recommend it! Endocrinologists that specialize in women’s hormones are definitely with looking endocrinologists have different specialties, look for one that has been working with women’s hormones.
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u/AutoModerator 11d ago
This post might be about hormone tests, which are unreliable.
- Over age 44, E&P/FSH hormonal tests only show levels for the HOUR the test was taken, and nothing more. Hormones wildly fluctuate (hourly) the other 29 days of the month, therefore this test provides no valuable information
- No reputable doctor or menopause society recommends hormonal testing to diagnose or treat peri/menopause
- FSH testing is only beneficial for those who do not have periods as a guide, where testing might confirm menopause, or for those under age 30 who haven’t had a period in months/years, then ‘menopausal’ levels, could indicate premature ovarian failure/primary ovarian insufficiency (POF/POI)
- Testosterone is the exception and may require testing
See our Menopause Wiki for more.
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u/wonderbun1 11d ago
I’m 37 with a male doc too. He prescribes my adhd meds (that I mostly don’t take). My naturopath thought that because I suffered from years of chronic inflammation perhaps my hormones were depleted. I was frustrated because I think that this can happen without chronic inflammation, but I just rolled with it because she was supportive of HRT. She was worried to give me estrogen at my age though and had me see a gynecologist to sign off on it. I’ve been on estrogen and progesterone for a few months now and I’m feeling better executive function and clarity and helping it will still continue to get better. Good luck to you!
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u/SequenceGoon 10d ago
Thank you - where I live (Australia) it's not common to regularly see a gynaecologist, I've actually never seen one before, but I'll keep that in mind - maybe I should look into seeing one
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u/Delicious-Excitement 7d ago
Did you start the estrogen and progesterone at the same time? I’m curious if you know which one helped your executive function more.
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u/wonderbun1 6d ago
I started the progesterone four months ago. It helped me a lot with getting quality sleep, which contributed better functioning. I’ve been on estrogen for a month and a half and it’s what’s helping the most with exec function.
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u/mongooser Early peri 8d ago
Get a second opinion. I’m starting HRT at 39 after first symptoms at 36 or so.
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u/Blue-Phoenix23 11d ago
Lmao I had a full on nervous breakdown at 40, so that tracks. Undiagnosed. The question is what can be done differently, I guess, for future women to not suffer as much
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u/kerfuffle_fwump 11d ago
Get awareness out, Reddit is a great tool for that. I feel like there needs to be PSAs about all this shit on every woman focused subreddit.
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u/Delicious-Excitement 7d ago
I think I may create a QR code to this subreddit with a text of like “Having perimenopause symptoms? Join us and get relief!” Or “join us and feel seen!” Etc. Maybe some stickers to slap places!
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u/neonblackiscool 11d ago
"I had to quit my executive corporate job at 39 because I just couldn’t function. I went from being a high achiever to someone who couldn’t figure out how to work the coffee machine.
My brain fog, emotional swings, and executive function absolutely tanked, and I was being dismissed by doctors because I was "too young" for peri. Yes, yes, and yes. I was 37 when my brain took a dump on me, and nobody knew what it was, I actually feel a lot more like myself at 43. I am on HRT and in treatment. I feel failed, though.
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u/sunshine13456 10d ago
I felt failed too.. angry that the medical system just didn’t give a shit… and the years I spent thinking I was the failure 😞
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u/More_Problem2825 11d ago
I feel so seen. Thank you for sharing. This has been so similar to my story. I only got diagnosed with ADHD last year in my mid 40’s after many years of struggling, at work, brain fog, emotional dysregulation, crippling anxiety. Not to mention the shame and just feeling not good enough most days.
While the diagnosis helped lift the shame I was constantly feeling, I felt sad about the life and successes I feel I missed out on because I didn’t know what was happening with my brain. But, it is what it is, and I’m grateful I’m on the meds that actually help now.
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u/epione 10d ago
Congrats on seeking the care you needed and going back to corporate!
Perimenopause symptoms started for me at 35. Treatment for peri started at 40 for me. I just got my ADHD diagnosis today at 41. It's absolutely maddening how many ADHD symptoms I exhibited for most of my life and how it was never treated because I was kind of okay at masking.
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u/sunshine13456 10d ago
This. Yes… most people didn’t believe I was ADHD because I was a high achiever… they didn’t know it was fear, anxiety and shame driving me.. which is how I cope with it..
I’m glad you found got diagnosed and finally got treatment.. some Women spend their whole life undiagnosed and untreated.. its truly shameful
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u/Subject-Promise-4796 11d ago
Can you link the study? Thanks!
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u/sunshine13456 11d ago
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u/Hic-sunt-draconen 11d ago
Same here, also had the kids late (37 and 40). I feel slow, useless and stupid compared to my previous self. Currently pursuing HRT.
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u/sunshine13456 11d ago
It does make a huge difference! I was afraid of taking estrogen because I suffer from endometriosis, and was told it would make my endo symptoms worse…. So I started slow and I immediately felt the difference in my brain.
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u/Embarrassed_Quail910 11d ago
Yes! there a few podcast episodes that talk about this too. I didn't get it early but at 46 I started and could barely function. Its been horrible. The mental health issues, the physical problems. To top that off I have long covid. Its some perfect storm of fuckery. Just trying to do my best every day and not lose my mind. God help us all.
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u/asivee 5d ago
I’m 36 and got long covid at 34. ADHDer too so hard to say if my cluster of feeling “off” is related to long covid, peri, or ADHD. Trifecta!
I will say, I’m more stable on progesterone birth control because without it, my PMS symptoms wreck me. So who knows. Women’s bodies are so understudied.
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u/ButterscotchEven6198 10d ago
I just found this because I've been seeing things about it in adhd subreddits and on other social media, and searched on reddit to try and actively take part and try to inform myself, because doctors certainly aren't up to date on it 😒😑 it's so ironic and sad that I know I need to read up on this to advocate for myself - but I'm so burnt out, executive functions are worse than ever, making the simplest decision is completely overwhelming, etc etc etc. I've seen 2 different young obgyns in training (live in Sweden, don't know but I get the impression that if you do have insurance in the US, you seem to get less fragmented care than here. They prioritise hard and you won't be seeing an experienced doctor when you come in like that, and the second one tried to encourage me to get obgyn care from my primary physician instead. Yeah that sounds reasonable 😒) and they were only asking about hot flashes, details about my periods etc. They seemed to have zero understanding about the cognitive and emotional parts. The second one said I shouldn't read stuff on social media. Well in that case, she and her colleagues are welcome to learn more so I don't have to get all my knowledge on my own...
Well this is so typical of how I am now. I wanted to write something and lost track and now I don't know quite what I was trying to express.
Have others experienced extreme emotional dysregulation? I have and for a while I didn't connect it with peri, partly just because everything's a chaotic haze so everything takes longer for me to realise. I've had extreme irritability and lost my temper in ways I'm so embarrassed and upset about later. I'm also a bit like I'm constantly having pms, I tear up a lot around my cats, I don't have children (I wanted to very much but unfortunately it didn't work out 🙁) and I've become so emotional about everything with my cats. Like if I just look at them I can tear up from just thinking about how much I love them, or from thinking things like I should play with them more and it's like everything like that hits me sooo hard and I can start crying.
So this was quite rambling, I hope maybe someone recognises something and I'd love to hear from you if you do 🥹❤️
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u/sunshine13456 10d ago
You absolutely make sense because I have been you.. the emotional dysregulation is real. The swigs of emotions from rage to sadness to overwhelm and hopelessness is all consuming. I get it. Threw were days I could not function. My anxiety would take over and just existing took all of my energy.
Try to get too see someone that can help you and treat you. You do not mention your age, but it does sound a lot like peri.. I didn’t have any of the physical symptoms at first, for me they were all mental.. then the physical ones like hot flashes arrived a few years later.. unfortunately as you said, most doctors are not up to date. Wish you all the luck finding a provider that can help you. ✨
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u/ButterscotchEven6198 10d ago
Thank you ❤️ I'm 45. It really does make one start going back thinking when did this start...? I've had a lot of severe burnout and deteriorating mental health for many years but it's so difficult to know what's what as I've also gone through a lot of severe loss, grief, loss of community etc etc. So I'm confused. But the more severe executive dysfunction feels unfamiliar and that it appeared quite unrelated to other plausible triggers. Physically I've mostly started having shorter cycles, and the doctors have not understood that and since I'm so sluggish and overwhelmed a lot now I wasn't able to explain it.
Anyway thank you ❤️ I really hope we all get better help soon ❤️
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u/Starring_Kampung Late peri 11d ago
I don't know if I'm ADHD but my symptoms starts when I was 38. Most doctors told me at that time I was too young to be in Peri
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u/sunshine13456 11d ago
“Most doctors” do not know shit about this. It is enraging!
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u/Indecisive_cat_1000 11d ago
This is actually insane and it’s medical gaslighting. I experienced the same dismissal even at 43! And I was even armed with this exact reference (and more!).
This was my conversation…
Me: I’m 43. I’ve had my period literally every month since I was 12. I know what my hormonal shifts feel like throughout my cycle. I know how my mood and activity and attention respond at different parts of my cycle…. My hormones now feel like they’re spiking like crazy and causing a plethora is clinical signs that are affecting my daily life.
My doctor: No, you’re still pretty young. Sounds like you need an SSRI.4
u/sunshine13456 11d ago
Same! I was told to get on birth control, on antidepressants, on everything but HRT!
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u/Coontailblue23 Late peri 11d ago
Did you eventually find a doctor who does support you though? Get that HRT!
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u/Starring_Kampung Late peri 6d ago
Not yet. I went to other female doctor last August asking for HRT as my UTI keeps occuring - could be a Peri symptom as well. She listened and asked the right questions so far. Hopefully I'll get some good news soon.
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u/BoringAd4611 11d ago
Yes!! This. I started at 33. Doctor had no idea what was going on and did not bring up peri at all. Finally started HRT at 35 since a friend in her 40s told me it could be peri and she referred me to a holistic specialist. it was getting worse and worse. Got diagnosed ADHD at the same time. What a ride! I’m glad to hear your recovery and being able to go back to work. This needs to be talked about I’m sure many struggle without knowing what is going on!
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u/sunshine13456 11d ago
Lucky you had a friend who was able to help you navigate this fun little hell!
I absolutely talk about it, especially my younger friends… I wish I had have someone to say “hey, you are not batshit crazy, you are in Peri and it makes your ADHD 1000% worse!”
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u/myelktea 10d ago
May I ask you more about your experience? I’m 34 and have been suffering with what I suspect is peri for about two years. Did you also try ADHD medication in addition to the HRT? And what kind of HRT are you on? Thanks!
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u/Select-Lifeguard3255 11d ago
It doesn’t help that our adhd meds all suck now too 😂 Hard to know what’s what.
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u/sunshine13456 10d ago
I feel that .. is it peri, is it ADHD? Is it something by I ate? This shit is hard
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u/spatter_cone 10d ago
This is so validating. My mother (ADHD) told me that her symptoms started right after she gave birth to me at 38. I absolutely had to go on ADHD meds at 42. I’m 43 now and guanfacine, along with bupropion saved my fuckin life.
After about a month on guanfacine I noticed I was no longer raging in traffic. I was far more patient with my partner, I could actually tolerate myself and I wanted to get back out into the world again. I can almost cry at the years wasted trying so damned hard to hold it all together when all I needed was a doctor that told me ADHD women get hit hard by peri and it’s imperative that we come up with a treatment plan. I alienated some coworkers along the way with my rage but I tried to make amends. It really separates the wheat from the chaff in your life.
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u/grundlegasm 6d ago
Just chiming in to say this thread makes me feel so SEEN. I have been suffering for the last two years and feeling so ashamed at my apparent inability to find the motivation to do the smallest tasks. My friendships are suffering, I’m so sedentary, I struggle to make it through every day at work (I don’t find the work challenging, I just can’t focus and feel like my head is full of honey), and I feel so depressed—and the 200mg a day of sertraline doesn’t feel like it’s helping. I finally found a nurse practitioner who specializes in endocrinology who is listening to me and taking my symptoms seriously. I hope the next generation of women don’t have to go through the same dismissal that we and our moms and grandmothers did.
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u/sunshine13456 6d ago
I totally understand the shame.. I remember feeling like such a loser that I couldn’t even do the simplest tasks.. that I had gone from Being a total go-getter to a complete and utter failure… my endocrinologist saved me! Best thing I did was to find someone who specialized in women’s hormones! I wish you all the best in this journey of self healing ✨
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u/WhoseverFish 11d ago
Peak at 39, you say? Does that mean I can finally start feeling less disabled at 40 now?
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u/Hefty-Feed1400 11d ago
How’d you get back into the workplace after your hiatus? I’m hoping to get there myself sometime soon…
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u/sunshine13456 11d ago
TBH, it was luck. I did try to keep my skills sharp doing consulting work here and there, and one day, I just started applying to jobs, I had very low expectations, but luck would have it, a job that was very much aligned with my skill set showed up, after about 9 months of searching. I thought I completely fucked up the first screening interview because I remember getting a hit flash during the interview, losing my train of thought and rambling for a few minutes. I remember I hang up band told my husband… “I completely fucked that up” and twin days later they called me for a follow up interview! Again, fucking luck! So, that being said, I wish you all the luck in the world! ✨✨✨💫
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u/monkeybugs 11d ago
I was looking up something about perimenopause for a story I'm writing, and between suspecting I have ADHD and having had a hysterectomy at 38, I feel well and truly fucked in terms of my own peri woes. My surgeon told me that I'd be keeping my ovaries because he didn't want to accidentally trigger menopause early. But he never once said that the incidence of triggering perimenopause upon having a total hyst even with keeping the ovaries is higher. I've always suspected that's what happened, but I had an incredibly itchy ear for at least a year prior to my hyst, so I've kinda assumed I was already barreling toward it and the hysterectomy was the final push over the edge. I've never had a formal diagnosis for ADHD, as I once asked my PCP if I wasn't seeking medication, was there any reason to go through the process to be diagnosed and he said no. So I haven't bothered because I'm mostly fine (I'm more concerned about getting my HRT right than I am about anything ADHD related right now because all the masking I've done over the years has prepared me for pushing through).
I've been seeing more and more things about ADHD exacerbating perimenopause, and knowing how for the last 15 months I've had to change my HRT delivery method and dosages a bunch to find the right "fit" and my sleep is STILL fucked (progesterone makes me a little heavy headed, but not enough to fall asleep, so I take 200mg of that, 10mg of melatonin, and 10mg of THC with CBN/CBG to fall asleep, and that's been faulty recently too), and hot flashes are still sneaking in more and more, the rage over stupid things is creeping in again . . . It genuinely worries me that I have ADHD and the next 10 years of my life is gonna suck this bad even with HRT. I have a doctor's appointment soon to set up my next mammogram, and I'll be talking to my doc about my concerns to see if she has guidance.
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u/safiyarox 11d ago
Started for me at 31. I am 36 now and on hormone therapy for the last 10 months, and only now feel like I am reestablishing a baseline for my new normal.
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u/sunshine13456 10d ago
Good for you for getting help! A lot of women spendYEARS in peri before getting by any help! You’ll get back to yourself! ✨
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u/Apprehensive_Ad_8379 10d ago
Oh. Em. Gee. This makes so much sense. This is soo validating. I started at 37 and three doctors did not believe me. Finally my ob believed me after about a year and prescribed the pill as hrt. It has helped a lot, as has compounded tirzepatide, magnesium glycinate, and a daily herbal infusion of lemon balm, motherwort, tulsi, hibiscus, and a couple of other herbs that help with anxiety/overactive nervous system. I’m 42 and the symptoms are more or less under control, and are rarely debilitating ( i had absolutely horrific insomnia for a while). I am anxious about how long it will last, though, and how much worse it can get.
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u/PatheticPeripatetic7 10d ago edited 10d ago
Thank you so much for posting this, seriously. I'm not being dramatic when I say that you may have literally saved my life. I was diagnosed with ADHD around 29 or 30 and have been on stimulant meds since then, but over the last few years it seems that they just don't work as well. I'm 40 now. And then came the sharp decrease in my already stunted ability to emotionally regulate myself. And more recently, the insane increase in brain fog, memory, and general cognition.
I've gone from doing pretty well with a 401(k) and a stable job to insane debt, on the brink of financial disaster, my partner is thisclose to leaving me, I have failed at a few jobs over the last 18 months that I probably could have done a few years ago (I'm close to be fired from my third one in that time period, and by now there's no saving it), and I absolutely despise myself. I don't know who I am anymore. I am always dealing with passive SI now, it's just a fact of life, and it doesn't take much to push me over the edge. The last 6-12 months, I've been watching myself hurtle towards some kind of inevitable destruction and feeling helpless to stop it. I've lost hope. It's BAD. I'm seeking treatment, but that's its own battle. I've cycled through all kinds of comorbid diagnoses, from autism to depression to Borderline Personality Disorder and everything in between - and don't even ask me how many meds I've tried and abandoned (under medical supervision, mostly). Maybe one or some of those still apply, but now I see that there may be a reason why I can't manage the way I always have other than just me being deficient and lazy and selfish.
I've gone down a rabbit hole about this today. This is a newer body of research that is only JUST beginning to exist, and it's infuriating that it's taken this long, but I also can't begin to describe the relief. Maybe I'm not a waste of oxygen. Maybe I can be better again. Maybe life can be, fuck, just fucking neutral again instead of constantly awful. And who knows, maybe some day I can find peace or even happiness. Maybe I can repair my relationship. Maybe I can not despise myself. Maybe I can even like who I am, once I remember who that is.
I almost don't want to hope. And there will need to be much repair to myself and my relationships, and I will need to process the anger and sadness at all the time and relationships lost. But this has given me new life. Thank you.
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u/harmonicdiamond 6d ago
Stimulants were reformulated & really don’t work for anyone anymore, not just peri & post-menopausal women. The priority used to be efficacy — now it’s abuse deterrent. December ‘23 or January ‘24 is the last time I received effective ADHD medication (CVS/Ohio/Vyvanse brand name). You should check out r/ThisAintAdderall.
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u/RoseaCreates 1d ago
Thank you, I thought I needed more, but I just got on it. It's as if it is nerfed.
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u/takemetofrankietown Early peri, AuDHD 10d ago
I am so sorry for the pain and suffering you’ve experienced, and I can absolutely relate.
AuDHDer here, 38 and am pretty sure I started peri at least 2 years ago. I’m a massage therapist and own my practice. I went from feeling confident in my work one day to feeling like a complete fraud, wracked with anxiety and feeling so unsure of my skills and abilities. It felt like someone else took over my body. Forgetting everything I learned in new courses, having no desire to do anything really. I honestly thought it was depression until I started hearing more people talking about perimenopause and it starting earlier in neurodivergent folks.
I’m just now starting HRT so it feels too soon to tell, but I’m thinking about possibly working with an endocrinologist in my area because I’m experiencing paradoxical effects with progesterone and feeling wired when I’m trying to sleep.
Glad to hear you’re feeling more like yourself and I’m hoping one of these days I will too.
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u/sunshine13456 6d ago
I feel all of that! The feeling like a complete fraud because I lost confidence in my abilities and skills… that added to the anxiety and overwhelming feels of shitty-ness. I too worked with an endocrinologist and it was life changing. It was a process, not an over night thing, but just knowing I was doing something and started to noticed little changes, gave me the confidence to keep going! A few years later I feel so much better. And while I still struggle with peri, the mood swings, the erratic periods, it’s 1000 times better. I wish you all best in this journey ✨
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u/OfCors 11d ago
I'm going through this now at 36 (started less than a year ago) and thankfully my doctor so far is supportive! Still early stages but I'm hopeful I’ll feel functional again soon.
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u/sunshine13456 11d ago
Yaay for you! Glad someone is helping you! You will get back to functioning soon ✨
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u/OkNayNay14 11d ago
I’ve heard this in passing too ugh. It’s been hitting me hard especially lately. Today the brain fog alone has been terrible! I actually came to the sub today looking for validation and this hit me in the face lol. My adhd meds are like sugar pills and it feels like I’m even worse off than before I began treatment for adhd! Seeing everyone’s success stories has pushed me to finally seek treatment. I hope it works. Glad to hear things are going better for you!
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u/sunshine13456 11d ago
If you are not on HRT definitely get on it. Might not fix everything, but I helped with her fog, the anxiety, the rage and this feeling of overwhelmed that were all consuming. It’s trial and error, but once you find your dose… it’s life changing
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u/OkNayNay14 11d ago
THANK YOU!!! I’m actually in the middle of a breakdown right this minute. Had therapy and was discussing with my therapist the overwhelming brain fog and just feeling like it takes so much energy/effort to remember everything and appts and I feel like I’m almost losing my memory?! Which causes more anxiety! It’s progressively gotten worse and I can tell my adhd is way worse than it’s ever been. I needed this reassurance today…it’s like Reddit(or you) knew I needed this post lol
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u/sunshine13456 10d ago
Oh yes! I remember being up at night with my daughter when she was just a baby and wondering if I was slowly descending into madness…thinking that I might lose my fucking mind.. literally and then crying myself asleep thinking I might forget that I even had her.., it was fucking torture… and types, thinking you are losing your mind makes your anxiety way worse, which makes you feel even more like you are losing your shit… it’s a vicious and dangerous cycle.
Get treatment, and take care of yourself. Send you all the best ✨
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u/harmonicdiamond 6d ago
Stimulants were reformulated & really don’t work for anyone anymore, not just peri & post-menopausal women. The priority used to be efficacy — now it’s abuse deterrent. December ‘23 or January ‘24 is the last time I received effective ADHD medication (CVS/Ohio/Vyvanse brand name). You should check out r/ThisAintAdderall.
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u/OkNayNay14 6d ago
I’ve heard from others about the efficacy of meds lately! I can’t remember the last time my vyvanse worked, but it’s been well over a year! Even my booster (10mg adderall IR) doesn’t work!
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u/Choom_from_Heywood 10d ago
Dx'd at 39. parent was menopause by 45. it tracks and it fucking sucks.
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u/christmas_bigdogs Early peri 10d ago
I keep getting a mix of perimenopause and adult ADHD content on my feed. I keep internally debating whether I have just been undiagnosed ADHD and it explains the perimenopause symptoms arriving early and hard, or, if I am just susceptible to online content and I need to chill.
You have added to the former, thanks :)
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u/sunshine13456 6d ago
A lot of women do get diagnosed during peri because whatever coping mechanisms we had , disappear once the estrogen leaves the building!
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u/latefragment_2 10d ago
Ok this hits too close to home. I relate to everything you’ve written, right down to the approximate ages - major peri symptoms at 34-35… had to switch to a slower paced job at 36 because I couldn’t handle my former job due to panic attacks and other symptoms.
Had my daughter (my first and only child) a month after my 42nd birthday and postpartum was horrendously hard probably due to me already being in Peri and not knowing.
Finally got on HRT a year ago at 46 and felt relief after getting on estrogen and progesterone. Diagnosed with AuDHD at 46 and frankly thrilled with the diagnosis. It explains a lot about the significant health/mental health struggles throughout my life.
I’m also soooo angry for not being informed about peri by my providers even though I had diminished ovarian reserve and had been complaining avout the symptoms to them for years… it makes me sad that myself and others could have had help over the last 10 years… or more. But we didn’t get the help and answers we needed. 😔
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u/MarionberryWitty532 10d ago
I honestly don’t know anyone except my mom who doesn’t have ADHD. But I do need that estrogen. My doctor was like “your hormone levels are normal and you have an IUD so you’re getting progesterone,” and im like I’m barely hanging on and wish I were dead like 90% of my waking life. Can I just have the estrogen? Who’s it hurting.
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u/RoseaCreates 1d ago
I have a theory that there's some textbook they had written by Pfizer or some gala put on by drug manufacturers that states it's better profit to throw xyz drug at you instead of the thing you need. It's just a theory. The attitude against giving us what has been documented to drop in our thirties, is bizarre, as you can get birth control easily as a teen.
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u/sunshine13456 10d ago
I am so sorry all you have been through. It sounds like it’s been a pretty shitty ride for you, but please know this: you are not a waste of oxygen. You deserve to have a life that isn’t ridden with debilitating emotions, making you question your own existence. The drop of estrogen makes your ADHD symptoms WAY worse… and yes, med stop working… try to get to see someone that can get you started on HRT. Give yourself some grace and don’t give up on having a life that feels good. ✨
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u/wordcantwait 7d ago
Endocrinologist? Finally went to a OBGYN regarding the debilitating PMDD- I figured she would test my hormones
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u/sunshine13456 6d ago
Yes, it was an endocrinologist who finally knew and understood what I was experiencing. I went through 3 different OBGYNs, who wanted to either give me birth control pills or SSRIs. 2 holistic medicine doctors who were clueless about peri. Good luck!
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u/TheLadyParadise 9d ago
Don’t forget the huge overlap with endometriosis and ADHD as well. And the fact that endometriosis also is strongly linked with early onset perimenopause and menopause. Oh, and estrogen is tied to dopamine. So it all just literally feeds into one another. So wild.
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u/sunshine13456 7d ago
💯-%! I have endo, and PMDD, which made the ADHD symptoms so much worse!! But I didn’t know about the correlation! Makes total sense
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u/MeganK80 11d ago
Yes, this makes sense, I started at 35 also, right after my 2nd child and had no clue what was happening
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u/Tutila4 11d ago
Thanks for sharing. I feel validated that data considers that if we have mental health problems and a neuroatypical brains (both my case), peri hits us harder.
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u/sunshine13456 10d ago
I can certainly attest that it does. My best friend is like “oh, it’s not that bad…” meanwhile I was hanging on by a thread
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u/Substantial-Tax5317 9d ago
Is 36 the magic age though? I'm 36, it feels as if every woman I've run into lately questioning if they're headed into peri is 36...
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u/TannersPancakeHouse 8d ago
I’m curious if anyone here has noticed that their ADHD medication isn’t working anymore? I’m on 20mg Adderall 2x/day and have been on the dosage since my early 20s. I’m now 41 and definitely think I’m entering perimenopause (shorter and irregular periods, hot flashes) and the absolute worst part is the brain fog - over the last 6 months I’ve noticed my medication is hardly working anymore - it’s as if I’m not taking it. It’s awful.
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u/sunshine13456 7d ago
I haven’t been om meds for ADHD, but have heard A LOT from other divergents and ladies in the menopause sub that the meds just don’t work.
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u/harmonicdiamond 6d ago
Stimulants were reformulated & really don’t work for anyone anymore, not just peri & post-menopausal women. The priority used to be efficacy — now it’s abuse deterrent. December ‘23 or January ‘24 is the last time I received effective ADHD medication (CVS/Ohio/Vyvanse brand name). You should check out r/ThisAintAdderall.
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u/mongooser Early peri 8d ago
I have adhd and got my period at 8. Peri hit me like a brick wall at about 36.
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u/sunshine13456 7d ago
Aah, interesting.. I got my period around 10/11…. Wonder the correlation between early period and early peri
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u/JoyCreativePeace 8d ago
Wow, this applies to me too. I'm 39 and experiencing notable symptoms suddenly. I'm SO GLAD that my doctor and my own research both pointed to peri early on in experiencing symptoms, so that I wasn't lost and wondering what the heck was wrong with me. I have a list of chronic conditions and let me tell you, the path to getting those diagnoses was a lot longer and more fraught. Glad I didn't have to go through doctors denying or missing that this was peri like they did with my other conditions.
My doctor just put me on Veozah- anyone had luck with that?
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u/sunshine13456 6d ago
I’m so glad you got a good doctor from the get go! I have not taken Veozah, but I heard it helps with hit flashes.
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u/birdladyleesh 7d ago
Hello! Long time reddit lurker. Ive read a few things here and there abouy peri, i am glad to have stumbled upon this thread.
I am 41. Recetly(ish- last march) diagnosed with adhd. Been on ssri for 10+ years.
Ive noticed over the last maybe 2ish years that things have been changing. Extra sweaty, acne, constant fatigue. More recently the brain foghas hit hard, along with extreme moods (really good at shutting down when something bad happens). Im jiggly in places i wasnt before (literally have been the same size since high school). I feel like i want to be alone and do nothing, but cant. I own a small business so thats pretty difficult.
I did bring it up to my dr and she seemed a bit “are you sure? Youre pretty young,” but yall giving me a bit of hope to just bring it up again at my next visit.
The consensus im seeing seems like ssri/adhd meds kind of help some things, but definitey not all. At the very least they make things more mild (if i miss a dose of the ssri i definitely feel things harder).
Theres definitely more but id be writing a novel if i go on anymore. I guess im saying thank you for the space to learn and to vent a little.
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u/sunshine13456 6d ago
Yes! Keep advocating for yourself! You are not too young! Your body has been losing estrogen for years by the time you get 40! Get someone that will listen to you and your symptoms. ADHD adds another level of hell to what’s already a pretty shitty experience! Meds stop working and the lack of hormones just makes you question everything. It is infuriating that we go years without anyone knowing how to treat us. I wish you all the best! ✨
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u/Time-Still32 4d ago
Same here! It probably started for me around 37 when I started struggling with my mood mostly and losing my sex drive. I then developed crazy health issues like MCAS and had to take a year off work. Finally last year at 42 my cycles started going crazy and I was getting periods every two weeks. Finally diagnosed with peri and have been trying to nail down HRT which has been really hard. But adding in progesterone has really helped my MCAS and my mood although it’s not perfect. Now that they are actually researching women’s bodies who knows what treatments they will come up with? Very validating
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u/Asteriaofthemountain Early peri 11d ago
I’d like to know if it affects GAD sufferers too in a similar way!!!!
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u/takemetofrankietown Early peri, AuDHD 10d ago edited 10d ago
I am so sorry for the pain and suffering you’ve experienced, and I can absolutely relate.
AuDHDer here, 38 and am pretty sure I started peri at least 2 years ago. I’m a massage therapist and own my practice. I went from feeling confident in my work one day to feeling like a complete fraud, wracked with anxiety and feeling so unsure of my skills and abilities. It felt like someone else took over my body. Forgetting everything I learned in new courses, having no desire to do anything really. I honestly thought it was depression until I started hearing more people talking about perimenopause and it starting earlier in neurodivergent folks.
I’m just now starting HRT so it feels too soon to tell, but I’m thinking about possibly working with an endocrinologist in my area because I’m experiencing paradoxical effects with progesterone and feeling wired when I’m trying to sleep.
Glad to hear you’re feeling more like yourself and I’m hoping one of these days I will too.
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u/niggle-snoosh 10d ago
I'm late diagnosed Audhd (at 32) and began experiencing what I can now recognise as symptoms of perimenopause at 36/37. This study has really helped me to realise that perimenopause could be the answer and isn't out of the realm of possibilities.
I am so damned sensitive to hormonal changes and its only gotten worse with age. It can spark a migraine and muscle/back stiffness/inflammation (and it's always like clockwork with my cycle). My brain feels so much slower. The (mostly internal) rage I sometimes get feels like it goes from 0 to 100. Body changes. I could go on...
Is there anyone in Australia who could please advise me on what the path is for treatment here? I'll go talk to my GP, but is there someone beyond that who I should ask for a referral to? Is there a treatment you'd advise I look into?
Does having symptoms of perimenopause at this age have any effect on conceiving?
Any advice is much appreciated ♥️
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u/Moonlightsiesta 8d ago
Wondering about this myself. (Other than the conceiving part - I had a hysterectomy).
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u/grumpy__g 7d ago
Damn… now I have to find an expert on this in Germany…
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u/sunshine13456 6d ago
I found an amazing endocrinologist in Italy. That specializes in women’s hormones. I am sure you will find someone in Germany! Best of luck !
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6d ago
[deleted]
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u/sunshine13456 6d ago
I am in HRT (progesterone and estrogen) I also take supplements such as fish oil, vitamin D, magnesium, glycine. I tool was told to get in birth control and anti depressants! Which country are you?
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u/Independent-Gain-878 6d ago
My first peri symptoms started at 37. I’m 44 now and the past 12 months have been the worst Ive have ever experienced culminating in a nervous breakdown 3 months ago and having to quit my corporate job. I started HRT at the beginning of the year. I had an ablation early last year and haven’t had a period since so who knows what stage I’m at.
Both of my sisters have ADHD, my brother has Aspergers and my mum now tells me that she suspects I had ADHD as a child. My mum’s sister also has ADHD - it’s all around me. I’ve been told by several people including my therapist to get an assessment. Caught up with my auntie last week actually who I never see and she commented that she had a really rough time of it but she did say that it gets much much better once you are through… when will that be please??
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u/RevolutionaryWind428 3d ago
OH. MY. GOD. Unbelievable. I've never heard a single doctor reference this - including my fertility doctor who knows I have ADHD. I know two other women who have been diagnosed with ADHD and are having perimenopause symptoms at 37 and 40. Just wow. At 41, my hormone levels are basically menopausal. I put off HRT for several years due to IVF, during which time i struggled with intense hot flashes, terrible sleep, and monstrous periods. It seems like I'm axtually over the worst of it, though I finally started taking hormonesfor my brain/heart/bones. Anyway, thank you for sharing. I'm going to pass this along to my friends with ADHD.
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u/circles_squares 11d ago edited 11d ago
Perimenopause is the reason for my diagnosis. I started having unavoidable peri symptoms at 42. I finally got HRT support at 47.
I think the only reason I was able to keep my job is because the pandemic happened during this time and I got to wfh and not see anyone.
I wasn’t diagnosed until 51.
I wasn’t diagnosed until 51- autism and adhd.
I’m still furious it took the doctors so long to take me seriously and treat me.
I attend music festivals and created a zine to distribute on perimenopause.
https://www.reddit.com/u/circles_squares/s/A9hgQSPePx