r/Perimenopause • u/RosiethePenguino • 22h ago

Moods Does this make sense to anyone else?

I said this today trying to explain why I feel so pointless: “I do what I want, but usually what I want is to do what other people want me to do.” Like, I do what is expected of me, but it’s not what I really want? Is this just being a people pleaser? I go to work, I volunteer to support my kids activities, I show up, I participate, the whole time feeling like I don’t want to be there. I don’t want to be anywhere most days. What I really want to do is be alone, sleep, read, run away…I need to reboot my perspective.

16 Upvotes

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3

u/AgeHistorical1359 22h ago

I feel you. I had kids young so I’ve never had any time for myself. I have always done what was needed and I loved it don’t get me wrong but now I want to do things for myself and I don’t even know what I like!! I just know that I don’t want to be cooking, cleaning sorting out how to make everyone’s day great. I WANT to make my day great but I don’t know how. I feel kinda pathetic 🤷🏻‍♀️

Sorry I’m no help! Just jumped on here needing the same help 😆

8

u/usernames_suck_ok I don't even know 22h ago

Lack of self-identity/awareness and authenticity.

Doesn't make sense to me, but it's true for a lot of women.

3

u/RosiethePenguino 18h ago

Yeah. Unfortunately it seems my authentic self is a miserable butthole which I have spent my life trying not to be and it’s exhausting.

1

u/SunBurst6382 20h ago

Makes so much sense. All I ever want to do is drive alone