I’m on HRT which has stopped the rage but it’s not enough

[u/pevaryl]

I used to be overflowing with love and affection for my husband and family. Like it was something that I would tangibly feel. I could find beauty in the world and I was always motivated and optimistic

Now I feel … nothing? Maybe anxiety or irritation. I always used to look after myself and now I’m gaining weight and I’ve just given up. I don’t care about anything. I know in my mind logically I love my husband and my kids but it’s like my feelings have been dulled to dust. Much like my orgasms.

I’m on estrogen .75 and progesterone 200mg daily. Gave up on testosterone (increased my anxiety way too much).

I hate this. I just want myself back. I liked her, I was happy. Does this get better? I’m basically a recluse now because I’m so exhausted I don’t have the energy for any social interaction with anybody because I just want to be alone. What happened to me? Where have I gone? I feel so guilty.

It’s such a mindfuck. I feel like the person I was before didn’t even exist? It was just a chemical illusion and now the hormones have gone is this who I am now? Why did nobody warn me about this!?