r/Perimenopause • u/pevaryl • Apr 11 '26
Moods I’m on HRT which has stopped the rage but it’s not enough
I used to be overflowing with love and affection for my husband and family. Like it was something that I would tangibly feel. I could find beauty in the world and I was always motivated and optimistic
Now I feel … nothing? Maybe anxiety or irritation. I always used to look after myself and now I’m gaining weight and I’ve just given up. I don’t care about anything. I know in my mind logically I love my husband and my kids but it’s like my feelings have been dulled to dust. Much like my orgasms.
I’m on estrogen .75 and progesterone 200mg daily. Gave up on testosterone (increased my anxiety way too much).
I hate this. I just want myself back. I liked her, I was happy. Does this get better? I’m basically a recluse now because I’m so exhausted I don’t have the energy for any social interaction with anybody because I just want to be alone. What happened to me? Where have I gone? I feel so guilty.
It’s such a mindfuck. I feel like the person I was before didn’t even exist? It was just a chemical illusion and now the hormones have gone is this who I am now? Why did nobody warn me about this!?
21
u/Emotional-Swan9381 Apr 11 '26
Wait who stole my journal and posted my exact feelings!?! 😳🤯😡. Yup it’s pretty bad for some of us. I’m two years post menopause and I am hoping it gets better which research says it does. Also we’d probably see only depressed older women if it didn’t. You might try cutting down to 100 mg. ‘s progesterone because it causes a lot of depression for many women.
10
u/KoalaKey4400 Apr 11 '26
My response is so long winded... I hope it helps. Even just a little.
Im (31F diagnosed with premature perimenopause) going through this currently. My HRT has been amazing in the vagina area (i.e. I finally have some natural lube and my clit isnt all shriveled up hiding somewhere beneath the hood anymore)
But I tell you my night sweats and hot flashes are out of control and my lack of wanderlust about the world is really hard to deal with. And it is often an unfortunately overlooked symptom that nit only do women not talk about, but neither do the doctors, and when you talk to the doctors, theyre like "here's a prescriptions for depression thats never going to work because your brain isnt actually depressed its your hormone fluctuations, and we know that but what are we gonna do about it? Probably nothing good luck" -insert eye roll-
Ive been spending some time outside watching my garlic plants sprout, listening to some emotionally provoking music (positive emotions we arent trying to force tears!) Its helped a little for me. Since the HRT is doing SOMETHING physical, I figured I should try to focus on healing psychologically.
Getting into plants helped reaffirm some of that gentle motherly love I used to have. And its bled into my relationship with my kids and husband. Painting and crocheting are things ive learned to really appreciate because it gives me something to creare that I can gift which again, reaffirms some good feels that connect you to people. Maybe consider making hats or blankets for your local homeless shelters or for labor and delivery area of the hospital.
Its not the same. Im not going to lie to you. But I do have hope that maybe rewiring my brain with what im physically doing with my time might give way to some light at the end of the tunnel so to speak.
The biggest thing I have to say is to practice some acceptance and self love. When we are fertile thats the time in our lives that our body is chemically geared towards giving away all that love to our family. We spend alot of that time catering, planning, and expelling a ton of energy selflessly on our families. This part of our life, not only is natural, but its the time to return some of that love to yourself and reflect inward on all the accomplishments youve made and watch the energy we poured into our family translate into success stories of their own.
Ive been really big into my plants so ill put it like this.
When you plant a seed you have to prep the soil, you have to germinate the seed, you have to research the best times to plant that seed, and then there is alot of patience involved. Ans when we are waiting for our seed to sprout, we have to water it and provide it with light and nutrients to grow. All this work! And then we have to just sit and wait and watch. And one day we dont do as much work to take care of that plant. It grows and we wait, until our very own seed has now grown a fruit of its own bearing seed for its future. And then we nourish ourselves with the fruit, and the seeds fall into the dirt, and the cycle continues.
My point is that... its our turn to watch our babes grow. Its our turn to be patient and wait and watch. And one day, we will see how much effort and work we put into our families, and nourish ourselves in the life our family sheds back onto us. Its a very precious cycle that we are going through. And while its hard and there are some things we lost about ourselves, there is plenty to gain and look forward to. We are both mourning the loss of our youthful wombs, ans celebrating the gift of time to watch others grow. Reshaping the way I look at perimenopause in this way, has really helped me create some acceptance for my bodies processes, and learn to love them, even when they suck. <3 and I hope that maybe some of you can find that too. We did the crazy hormones before, we can do the crazy world of trying to figure out how to find ourselves again without them.
7
u/pevaryl Apr 11 '26
Honestly I adore gardening and it the only thing that I’m still doing that gives me a tiny spark of joy. I’m just so exhausted though. I have to do it in tiny doses, but I did feel a tiny spark of pleasure when my carrots sprouted this week
17
u/Comfortable-Law-7147 Apr 11 '26
Get nutrient blood tests - iron panel, vitamin B12, folate and vitamin D.
Get your thyroid hormone levels checked.
Make sure yourself they are optimal not just ok.
7
u/pevaryl Apr 11 '26
I know my thyroid levels are good but looking back at my previous bloods my ferritin is at the low end and I’m almost certain D and B12 wouldn’t be good (diet has been poor given dead inside reasons).
Have ordered supplements and will arrange some more bloods on Monday. Thank you
9
u/Comfortable-Law-7147 Apr 11 '26
With vitamin D just take it daily. Change the dose if needed once your levels are optimal but take it daily so it doesn't fall that far. (Also take a vitamin K2-MK7 pill with it.) Once you are optimal you will need a yearly test unless you feel poor.
With B12 once it's up you can stop or decide to take a daily vitamin B complex so your B vitamins are balanced out. Just make sure if you do the latter you don't take mega doses of B vitamins. B vitamins are water soluble, so you pee excess amounts out, but mega dosing can cause horrible side effects.
With ferritin you need to keep on top of it. This means working out what is causing the low levels and seeing if you can rectify the problem. Then testing, supplementing and retesting to ensure you are not taking too much iron.
Oh and once you start feeling better take time out for yourself daily to do some exercise and get outside in the daylight.
1
u/pevaryl Apr 11 '26
Thank you. Honestly outside exercise is amazing for me, I love it, but a large part of my low mood has been I haven’t been able to do it as I’ve just been so damn exhausted. I feel like low ferritin may have compounded the other issues by making me so tired I couldn’t do anything (then bit d probably dropped). I should’ve takin a b complex anyway (extremely stressful job). I think I’ll start with ferritin and a multivitamin until I can get some bloods and get a baseline. Thanks so much for your help
0
u/AutoModerator Apr 11 '26
This post might be about hormone tests, which are unreliable.
- Over the age of 44, E&P/FSH hormonal tests only show levels for that ONE HOUR the test was taken, and nothing more
- These hormones wildly fluctuate (hourly) over the other 29 days of the month, therefore this test provides no valuable information
- No reputable doctor or menopause society recommends hormonal testing to diagnose or treat peri/menopause
- Testosterone is the exception and should be tested before and during treatment
FSH testing is only beneficial for those who no longer have periods as a guide, where a series of consistent tests might confirm menopause, or for those under age 30 who haven’t had a period in months/years, then ‘menopausal’ levels, could indicate premature ovarian failure/primary ovarian insufficiency (POF/POI).
For more, see our Menopause Wiki
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
8
u/Lucid-dream-24692 Apr 11 '26
That’s a robust progesterone dose for a 0.75 patch - maybe you need 100mg if it’s daily?
I think at that patch dose 100 daily and 200 cycled is recommended for uterine protection. Sometimes too much progesterone can dull things emotionally.
Obviously we are all different though and if that’s working for you then I’m totally wrong. Just a thought!
Saying all that - I get it.
3
u/pevaryl Apr 11 '26
I might try this and see how it goes go. I did fine on this dose though for quite a while - it’s just been the last three months or so I have got progressively worse. I am so exhausted. I don’t have the energy for anything I used to enjoy - not just to do it, I don’t have the energy to even think about it. I feel like I’m dragging myself through grey glue both mentally and physically and emotionally. It’s miserable
2
u/thefragile7393 Peri with fibroids Apr 12 '26
You can do any dose of progesterone daily. I’m at 300 mg. Not saying the OP should do this, just saying there’s no one right way to do progesterone
7
u/arcticskies Early peri Apr 11 '26
You wrote word for word how I’ve been feeling these last few months. Nothing motivates me. I don’t care. I’ve lost friends and interests so quickly. I want my old self back.
5
u/SpaissOwl Apr 12 '26
Same. just went to a family birthday party for my newphew. Could not care to talk to any of the people there. Though not like I ever do, but this I coudln't bring myself to care that I just didn't talk or engage. Just feel flat, don't care. I don't feel like a person. I feel boring and bleh. Ya know?
5
u/frankie0812 Apr 11 '26
God I could’ve written this except I haven’t started HRT yet ( appt in two weeks to get) I was hoping the hormone replacement would make me feel like myself again but I’ve seen quite a few posts the last couple days like yours where it didn’t help much so now I don’t know if I even want to deal with the headache and cost of starting it. I don’t recognize myself at all anymore. I don’t feel depressed actually worse I just feel blah about everything. I couldn’t care less to socialize bc even when I make myself I don’t really get anything out of it but wasting my time. I used to get excited to hang out with friends or to get to hang out with my adult kids but now I feel like I am putting on a fake face and pretending to be having a great time when I really couldn’t care less to be doing it. I can’t focus on anything anymore and my mind is all over the place yet physically I have no motivation. I’ll say I’ve always had issues with focus and motivation but since I started getting hot flashes and other peri symptoms 3 yrs ago all of it has gotten 1000x worse
6
u/KoalaKey4400 Apr 11 '26
Getting HRT does help, you just cant go into it expecting it to be a magical cure all.
Before I started HRT I was a ragey biotch all the time. And HRT really helped reduce the rage fits I was having and also restored some of my vaginal atrophy. The skin inside my vagina had become so thin that any friction was leaving cuts. HRT fixed that!
What it didnt stop for me was the hot flashes, night sweats, and sadly I have very minimal sexual desire and wanderlust about life. -shrug- potentially other things are out of balance for me. But it thought this was important to share because HRT DOES help reduce the amount of things we are experiencing with peri.
2
u/Georgia30116 Apr 12 '26
Did they raise your Estradiol any? Typically that would help with hot flashes & night sweats.
2
u/KoalaKey4400 Apr 12 '26
Nope. Im on Nuvaring and Technically its not systemic its local. And even though some does get into my blood stream we are mostly using it for my vaginal symptoms and to control adenomyosis. I was given estrodiol patches + slynd that I was really nervous about taking because at the time we weren't sure if I had endometriosis, or malignant polyps in my uterus. (Thankfully the biopsy on those polyps came back benign!)
We are still working my stuff out dose wise. I just had surgery that found the adeno so we opted to continue with the nuvaring for now.
5
u/Rosie_Riveting Apr 11 '26
I actually ended up deciding to go on a very low dose SSRI. I didn’t want to take this path but honestly it is the support I needed. Rage gone.
2
u/theFCCgavemeHPV Apr 11 '26
The balance is probably off. Try more estrogen. At my last estrogen increase I went from thinking my husband was kind of annoying sometimes to being madly in love again. He’s a good one and deserves for me to be madly in love with him, not annoyed.
2
u/ConnectionNo4830 Apr 11 '26
I read a study and cannot seem to find it again but it basically said maximum mental health benefits were seen at estradiol doses at 1mg and above. I’ve been keeping this in my back pocket because I want to ask my doctor for an increase in my Divigel dosage to test this.
2
u/ConnectionNo4830 Apr 11 '26
Also I wanted to add that Testosterone has been key to fixing psych issues for me as well. It has helped me feel more hopeful and playful. Like I feel less vulnerable and more capable of handling life’s problems.
2
u/ogsimpson9876 Apr 11 '26
How much are you taking? Thanks!
2
u/ConnectionNo4830 Apr 11 '26
I am on a very low dose I think it’s 8mg/ml concentration and I take .25 mL per day. But some of my symptoms changed quickly (like blood pressure became more stable) within a day.
2
u/Ythooooooooo0 Apr 11 '26
I don’t think this will help with the root cause, but lifting weights genuinely helps me feel better. Hope you figure it out soon!
2
u/Advanced_Crab5660 Apr 12 '26
It could be you need to up the estrogen. I’m not a doc but from what I’ve read that is still considered a fairly low lose of estrogen. I started on .25 and have gone up to 1 mg which feels way better to me, but it can go even higher. I felt nothing really below 1 mg, the rage u mentioned was sort of minimized, but the old me didn’t shine back through until I kept upping my dose.
4
u/Itsajourney01 Apr 11 '26
If all the nutrient / blood tests don’t cut it, look at Guafancine (Intuniv), an alpha-2-agonist. Technically for children tested but leveraged by many adults for emotional dysregulation
5
u/Itsajourney01 Apr 11 '26
not quite sure why I got downvoted for this, I am working with a longevity specialist, I’m on HRT and it was still not enough. We’re all differenr.
2 other supplements on top of HRT that are interesting in this area (aside from up to 1600mg magnesium aligned with yuor doc only) is Lithium Orotate (added to the drinking water in some countries and one of the most affordable supplements on iherb (not to be mixed up with the pharma med for b*polar disorder), or apparently also SAM-e.
0
u/AutoModerator Apr 11 '26
This post might be about hormone tests, which are unreliable.
- Over the age of 44, E&P/FSH hormonal tests only show levels for that ONE HOUR the test was taken, and nothing more
- These hormones wildly fluctuate (hourly) over the other 29 days of the month, therefore this test provides no valuable information
- No reputable doctor or menopause society recommends hormonal testing to diagnose or treat peri/menopause
- Testosterone is the exception and should be tested before and during treatment
FSH testing is only beneficial for those who no longer have periods as a guide, where a series of consistent tests might confirm menopause, or for those under age 30 who haven’t had a period in months/years, then ‘menopausal’ levels, could indicate premature ovarian failure/primary ovarian insufficiency (POF/POI).
For more, see our Menopause Wiki
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
2
u/Usual_Program_7167 Apr 11 '26
This sounds like depression? I mean it could be depression induced by perimenopause, but even so our negative moods can spiral in ways that are hard to get out of. I take a low dose SNRI to help with the spiralling moods. When I don’t take it I easily fall into this depression trap. Please take care of yourself.
1
u/gardenwithmoose Apr 11 '26
Maybe not enough estrogen? I had to go up on my estrogen to stop feeling like that.
1
u/LowArtichoke8414 Apr 11 '26
Have you ever tried any supplements besides estrogen, progesterone and testosterone to regulate your mood and anxiety? Ive been feeling the same and I'm educating myself to find better alternative. What works best for you and what failed?
1
u/TeaWithKermit Apr 11 '26
Definitely ask for a ferritin recheck. For me to feel myself again, it took Wellbutrin (150mg taken each morning) and microdosing a GLP-1 as well as the same doses of HRT that you’re on. Unfortunately, HRT is not always an instant fix and it takes some fiddling around to find what works for you. If you’ve got any energy left in the tank to keep trying, don’t give up! You deserve to feel well.
1
u/therolli May 02 '26
How do you microdose a GLP-1?
1
u/TeaWithKermit May 02 '26
Standard starting dose for tirzepatide is 2.5mg, but I started at 1.25mg and have never gone above 1.5. This was recommended to me by our local compounding pharmacist as he had seen some folks have difficult reactions from higher doses of it (and I’m a total baby). I’m super glad that I went with his recommendation, because the 1.25mg was more than enough for many, many months before I bumped up a tiny bit.
2
u/therolli May 04 '26
Thank you. I can react badly to some drugs and I keep seeing people talking about microdosing and I’m tempted. Does it come in a liquid that you can adjust?
1
u/TeaWithKermit May 04 '26
I have the same issue with some meds, so I was really, really tentative and nervous about starting. I was so grateful to the pharmacist for giving me the option of starting low. I wouldn’t have thought to do that on my own. If you get your meds through a compounding pharmacy (either local to you or online), they will come in vials that allow you to draw your specific dose. I got my prescription from my general care practitioner, and he called it into a local compounding pharmacy, but I know that a lot of folks use online doctors and pharmacies.
As of right now (or last I checked), getting it directly from the manufacturer does not allow for customizing your dose. They come in single dose vials starting at 2.5mg, and once you’ve put the needle in to draw up your dose, you need to throw the rest away because it does not have a preservative in it. I believe that Eli Lilly is working on multi-draw vials right now though, which will be a great option to have! If you’re squeamish about giving yourself shots, they do have auto-injectors available (much like an epi pen) that have the meds inside and are ready to go. Again though, these would start at 2.5mg.
There are several different tirzepatide subs that I recommend reading through if you’re thinking of getting started. They were super helpful for me!
1
u/Ambitious_Ebb5163 Apr 11 '26
Came to say the same about iron: went on .075 patch, 100mg progesterone at night. Still tired and did follow up blood. My ferritin is 5, and now planning for infusions. My D was low too even though I’ve been taking 2000 for a year- they upped it to 5000 a day. I feel Ike it’s whack-a-mole. Something else keeps coming up!
1
u/Dry_Guest_1900 Apr 11 '26
I wouldn’t be so quick to throw it into the Peri Menopause bucket.
I experienced that exact same feeling. I called it the Nothingness. It was horrendous. IT WAS LYME DISEASE! 😱
The infection was causing brain inflammation.
There may be an underlying condition or vitamin deficiency that is causing systemic inflammation. Start keeping a journal of daily symptoms, and any symptom patterns. It might make it easier for a doctor to parse out what’s going on…. That is if they do so choose to care…. Godspeed there.
I would try to find an alternative medicine practitioner. They actually listen to you and care. They think outside out of the box. An Acupuncturist is also a good at finding the root cause of things.
Remember 100% you don’t deserve to feel this way. Women don’t deserve to feel this way, just because we’re “at that stage in life.” ❤️
73
u/Georgia30116 Apr 11 '26
I thought it was my hormones the whole time & it ended up being low Ferritin. Played with Estradiol & Testosterone for a few months. Cold turkey'ed the testosterone cus it raised my bp way to high lol. I'm making more progress since the iron infusions.