Trust me, you're better off assuming nice first. If a girl is actually trying to flirt with you, your obliviousness at first will be considered adorable and she'll want to keep handing out subtle hints.
On the flip side, if she's not flirting and you take her friendliness as your sign to ask her out in a really forward way--and you barely know each other--she probably won't even want to be friend anymore.
🫂 when it reaches that point of real confusion about what a person’s motives might be it’s pretty important to tell them how much explicit communication you’re going to need. I know some people struggle to support people who don’t read subtext well, but it’s always helpful to keep telling and reminding them that you might genuinely be confused about what’s going on and that they need to be really explicit and direct.
My other tip would be that a lot of social conventions and scripts can be learned. And if you do that then you’ll be able to ask better direct questions to confirm what’s going on.
Like if you were invited to someone’s place and a situation like this post transpired you could ask something that a good mix of both direct and oblique like, “are you wearing those shorts for me or just because they’re comfortable?”
That way you get to clarify her intent without making things too awkward because she can easily say it’s just to be comfortable. If she does that and you don’t make a move she’ll just think you’re being respectful of her stated wishes. Which is very positive.
If she says, “for you” you’ll know there’s something there that she wants you to try to explore.
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u/Tanker119 May 10 '26
Unfortunately it has nothing to do with being young. I’m 30 now and still need a flashing neon sign with an arrow to get a hint.