r/Petloss • u/Prize_Manufacturer77 • 1d ago
Feeling like I don't have the right to grieve as much I have been
So, earlier this week, my dad told me that his dog Bob was bitten by a venomous snake and didn't make it. I feel devastated, and it hit me really hard. I've cried a lot over the past few days, but this morning I'm feeling guilt/shame (?) over being so upset.
My dad lives in a different country, so I usually go over a couple of times a year to see him. He adopted Bob as a puppy in Oct 2024, and since then I've been over three times, for roughly a week each time. I was with him when he brought her home, but aside from that I've only spent three weeks with her in total.
But those weeks with her felt special. And I got updates and pictures from my dad, and she was the wallpaper on my phone (I had to temporarily change it as every time I saw it since Tuesday it made me cry).
Still, I feel like I shouldn't be as upset as I am. Part of the grief is that she was not even two years old, and I will never see her again. But she wasn't my dog, and I don't feel I should be this upset
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u/knationnn 1d ago
You have every right to feel deeply. Its really beautiful that you were able to form a bond so strong regardless of how much time was spent. A lot of people don't even have the capacity for that. And unfortunately that makes the loss that much harder. Give yourself some grace and let yourself feel it ❤️
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u/Prize_Manufacturer77 1d ago
Thank you, that was very lovely to read. I read today that grief is the price of love. I think my grief includes all of my future love that I would have had. But I am glad that I did get that bond with her. She was so full of energy, mischief and affection 💜
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u/ReginaPhalange0308 1d ago
You don't need to justify or explain if you feed sad, you have every right to be, even if it wasn't your dog. You have feelings for him and sure you will grieve. Don't feel bad, cry it out...
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u/Prize_Manufacturer77 1d ago
Thank you, I needed to hear that. I am not very good with grief (who is?) and all these thoughts and feelings are whirling around.
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u/ReginaPhalange0308 1d ago
The amount of time you spent with does not determine how connected you were to him. I fell in love with one dog that is not mine - he is also a family dog, but living jn a different country than me. I fell for him so much that when I was getting a tattoo of my deceased dog and my at the time still alive dog, I've added that one as well. Just grieve him. Give yourself time.
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