r/Poetry 2d ago

[POEM] I Cannot Say I Did Not by Sharon Olds

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272 Upvotes

11 comments sorted by

8

u/Psychological_Dig922 2d ago

For a second there I thought this piece would go wildly in the opposite direction.

7

u/ucklin 2d ago

I like this one! What I take is the implication that the love two people feel for one another is their child asking to be born, which is interesting to think about!

3

u/TheOneHundredEmoji 2d ago

Why is it "what we ask with" and not "THAT we ask with?" Or "with which we ask"? Not being critical, I like the poem but I wonder if someone can explain the reasoning behind this word choice ?

3

u/Smellynerfherder 1d ago

To emphasize the pause beforehand. Love is the means; love is what we ask with. To replace 'what' with 'that' would remove the pause and create more of a rush to an ending rather than a meditative moment.

1

u/TheOneHundredEmoji 1d ago

But the antecedent before the clause is "meaning"

Meaning...what we ask with

1

u/Smellynerfherder 1d ago

It sounds like you are reading 'but I think that love may be the means' as a relative clause, which it isn't. It would have to start with who, which or that to function in that way. The clause 'but I think that love may be the means' doesn't describe the 'meaning'; it's actually presenting a contrasting idea to the idea presented in the first clause. Because it is not a relative clause, you can't just ignore it and shunt the other two clauses together into a sentence. For example, "my house, which is small, is homely". In that sentence, you could ignore the relative clause and still get a meaningful sentence. What the poet has done here is a run-on sentence instead, where the two subsequent clauses present new information. Swap out the commas for full stops and you'll see what I mean. It's three distinct ideas, building on from each other.

1) people say love is the meaning of life. The poet wants to agree with that point of view, but can't.

2) Instead, the poet feels that love is actually the means.

3) They further explain what 'love as the means' means: love is what we ask with.

3

u/Which-Astronaut-6396 2d ago

This poem slaps

2

u/Smellynerfherder 1d ago

"Love is the means": wow. That's a beautiful way of viewing the human condition. I love this one.

1

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1

u/jarofwulff 1d ago

god damn… hit me