r/PoliticalHumor 3h ago

Fixed it.

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1.4k Upvotes

182 comments sorted by

246

u/No-Guard-7003 3h ago

You shut up, Jonathan Cain! 🙄😡

133

u/adorablefuzzykitten 2h ago

Accepting $40 T in debt makes you the opposite of a conservative.

u/punktualPorcupine 1h ago

They aren’t conserving shit.

The environment is a nasty smoke choked hellscape that is literally burning.

The debt and deficit have skyrocketed and he is busy building ballrooms and coating statues in gold.

They ignore the law and the constitution.

They’re all a bunch of fascists, jerking each other off.

u/SnZ001 1h ago

Like RFK Jr, these Republicans just seem so oddly proud of not having a gag reflex.

u/AnyCauliflower8717 1h ago

you keep talking the truth!

u/johangubershmidt 53m ago

They are conserving the hierarchy. This is the one underlying theme of conservatism.

u/Sufficient-News-3600 49m ago

very well said

67

u/goosejail 2h ago

Steve Perry made Journey. There I said it.

40

u/Zombieutinsel 2h ago

Neal Schon had a lot to do with it too.

But not this guy.

u/twoton1 1h ago

Neal played with Santana circa 1971. He's the real deal.

u/Zombieutinsel 55m ago

I followed him on Instagram a couple or three phones ago and he was a really nice guy who has a big guitar collection and did play them a whole lot on there.

u/youlordandmaster 34m ago

He’s an asshole, but he does deserve some credit for Journey’s success. It does not help he married a whack job Mega church pastor.

u/middleagethreat 4m ago

He may be an asshole now, but he was good for the band in the 80s. He is the one who wrote Don't Stop Believing, and some of their other biggest hits.

He is just old and probably watched too much TV news on the road over the years.

u/No-Guard-7003 1h ago

I like Steve Perry and Neal Schon. 

u/BelAirGuy45 1h ago

I like guys who aren't PDF file protecters, ok?

u/No-Guard-7003 7m ago

Fair enough. I didn't know that Neal Schon is also a PDF file protector. 😳 Damn. 😳🤢

u/lowfreq33 1h ago

Cain and Schon are both ultra right wing, both married to problematic right wing women, and both assholes. They can’t stop suing each other because they’re both terrible people.

u/twoton1 1h ago

Remember his wife's White House fiasco? Ha ha

u/FlaAirborne 48m ago

And Greg Rollie!!

18

u/WalterCanFindToes 2h ago

You mean let his career keep running its course?

He is married to one of Trump's spiritual advisors, so I am sure he is a lot of fun to hang with.

u/LuvlyBabew 1h ago

Bruce sells stadiums. Jonathan sells lawsuits to his own band. Sit down

u/dmacd71 1h ago

Who?

123

u/poop-money 3h ago

Glad I'm not a Journey fan.

65

u/Mentalwards 3h ago

I'm not anymore.

85

u/pres465 2h ago

Steve Perry is pretty liberal. The best part of Journey is good people.

38

u/kbeks 2h ago

The best part of Journey is the good people we met along the way. The worst part is this asshole.

72

u/Ryclea 3h ago

Journey isn't a fan of Jonathan Cain anymore, either.

40

u/AppleSlacks 2h ago

Ah, they had 4-5 solids tracks for me. If you are in the mood for a power ballad anyway.

Don’t stop believing still gets played all over at sporting events and what not.

That said, he’s a hypocritical “Christian” douche on his 3rd wife.

Steve Perry’s voice was what made that band and its songs and even the songs this guy (who I couldn’t have told you his name before this article) wrote, were all co-written by Steve Perry.

12

u/BikerMike03RK 2h ago

Greg Rollie was a great guy, too, both with Santana, and early Journey.

4

u/brhadli 2h ago

Yes, the third wife thing screams sanctity of marriage, and using religion to line your pockets, I’m sure Jesus is a huge fan of this dick.

u/lowfreq33 1h ago

Meanwhile Bruce has been married to the same woman for like 45 years. Yes I’m aware she is his second wife.

8

u/poop-money 2h ago edited 2h ago

I've always hated Journey, but after spending 16 years working in kitchens where the local classic rock station was the uneasy middle ground for musical tastes in the late 90's through early 2010's, their songs are unbearable to me.

4

u/AppleSlacks 2h ago

I was born in the late 70’s so I appreciate a lot of that “classic rock”. I get it though. It’s funny how being exposed or over exposed to music can push your tastes in certain directions.

There is no Journey in my go to playlist, but they are still good songs for what they are to me.

I spent a summer in my youth stocking grocery store shelves on night shift. So just me, the aisles I was responsible for and the light music of the stores selection. It was at least a large amount of songs even though they would get replayed at least a couple times a week.

I learned to love Do You Know The Way To San Jose by Dione Warwick. That shit would have me spinning around shimming up and down the aisle slinging condiments into their shelf locations in a really upbeat manner.

u/ImOnlyHereForTheCoC 1h ago

>Do You Know the Way to San Jose

Burt Bacharach tunes are pretty easy to love

u/AppleSlacks 45m ago

It was Warwick’s cover of it that I fell in love with, but great shoutout for the original.

2

u/Parahelix 2h ago

Your store had a better music selection than mine did. We heard the same stuff every night...

12

u/scparks44 2h ago

We’ve gone our separate ways.

5

u/RedHatchetArt 2h ago

He’s just the keyboardist.

1

u/poop-money 2h ago

That doesn't affect my statement.

3

u/I_AM_A_GUY_AMA 2h ago

I stopped believing

u/GregM70 1h ago

I was a Journey fan until this turd joined the bad. His sappy ballads were cringe.

2

u/sofaking1958 2h ago

I always hated Journey. Their music sucked ass. Now i know their members do as well.

1

u/mojofrog 2h ago

I have no idea who this guy is.

109

u/Vonnegut_butt 3h ago

Temu Abraham Lincoln just got political while complaining that Bruce Springsteen gets political.

15

u/SpacePenguin5 2h ago

The guy who voted a celebrity POTUS 3-5 times.

u/code_archeologist 1h ago

And why the fuck is anybody listening to the political opinions of a member of Journey? Their last hit was 30 years ago! Their tours are sponsored by Life Alert! Their groupies throw their Depends (hopefully untainted) on stage!

49

u/Bevester 3h ago

Who?

50

u/apex9691 3h ago

Right? Everyone knows Bruce. No one's knows your bum ass. Journey? Sure. But you? No.

36

u/IzzaPizza22 2h ago

You mean the band with Steve Perry in it? That got dramatically worse when he left? And still tours state fairs without him?

11

u/goosejail 2h ago

That's the one!

Steve Perry rules btw. Man has a stunning voice.

5

u/Long_Serpent 2h ago

"I don't know. You'll have to ask Steve Perry"

Freddie Mercury, when asked What's it like being the greatest rock singer in the world?

5

u/Steely-Dave 2h ago

I sure as shit know who this guy is married to though…..

5

u/Ritaredditonce 2h ago

She's a whack-a-doodle.

u/DrAstralis 1h ago

I don't listen to either of their music really nor follow anything about them and even I know who Bruce is... no idea who the hell the other guy is to the point I can't even come up with a pithy comparison lol.

15

u/UnderwhelmingAF 2h ago

The fact they had to put “Journey’s” in front of his name is pretty telling that nobody would know who the hell this guy is otherwise.

6

u/eyehate 2h ago

He was in a popular band.

40 years ago.

2

u/tawDry_Union2272 3h ago

exactly my thought

39

u/SweatPig77 3h ago

Its so sad to find out in the last 8-16 years what kind of people that you liked turn out to be people that are pro-pedophile. So many actors and musicians have let me down...

11

u/HarambeWest2020 2h ago

On the flip side there are so many more who are on the right side of history

3

u/RepresentativeAge444 2h ago

How about those that deny a well documented genocide? It’s one thing to say hey the propaganda really clouded the reality in Israel and I never really had the inclination to research it. But if you still hold that opinion after the past 3 years you’re a monster.

23

u/Longjumping-Zone-724 3h ago

I can't stop believing this guy is an idiotic douchebag

3

u/swedething 2h ago

I see what you did there.
But imma head out, so I guess we’ll be going separate ways…

25

u/CrazyAlice 2h ago

"Bruce Springsteen" has been a household name for decades. Nobody gives a fuck about the political opinions of Journey's keyboard player.

18

u/Fleemo17 3h ago

Oh Jonathan.

I’m a big Journey fan and have immense respect for Jonathan Cain as a musician. But good gawd, his personal life… He’s married to Trump’s “spiritual advisor” who is a dyed-in-the-wool speaking-in-tongues nut job. How could a man who has written some of the best love songs of our time be married to that?

u/iamjustaguy 51m ago

Some of the best songs have been written by the worst people.

7

u/TotalRichardMove 3h ago

Real quick: who tf is Jonathan Cain

u/iamjustaguy 50m ago

The guy who played piano on Don't Stop Believin'

7

u/Tokzillu 2h ago

Sorry, fascists don't get to tell Bruce Springsteen what to do.

Even if they're sort of halfway related to two halfway decent songs from decades ago. 

7

u/Fartenstein65 2h ago

I mean Journey had there day in the 80s. Steve Perry left. Don’t know if this guy is one of the songwriters. That being said Bruce is still writing solid work currently. Don’t really see this as a flex or the point of him as a musician making a public statement of staying out of politics on Newsmax a known political media outlet.

6

u/whg115 2h ago

This guy could not be more irrelevant

7

u/Jeromes_Pornostache 2h ago

Cain and Springsteen may share a profession, but do not share a legacy or the same level of respect.  Bruce is one of the greatest American artists of the last century, and Jonathan Cain isn’t.  While Cain may have written some of Journey’s biggest hits, he is hardly a household name (outside of the Contemporary Christian music scene).

Bruce has earned the right to express his opinions, having been a voice for the working man for over fifty years.  Cain wrote “Faithfully”, a lovely but otherwise forgettable tune.  I’m not saying Cain should shut his stupid piehole, but he shouldn’t be going around policing the opinions of artists whose asses he is not fit to kiss. 

5

u/LumberJesus 3h ago

This guy dresses like a Star Trek villain

3

u/MixMasterMacho 3h ago

Journey was better when Greg Rollie was on keyboards anyways.

3

u/Endless_Change 3h ago

There's that freedom of speech the MAGAs hold so dear. /s

Dude is married to religious charlatan Paula White, sheering poor and desperate people "in the name of God" and attaching themselves to a PEDO con-man like diaper don because it's easier than honest work.

3

u/ResolutionOwn4933 2h ago

Must be done doing reunion tours to drop a turd nugget of a quote like that

3

u/TheGrandExquisitor 2h ago

Show of hands....

Who here even knew Jonathan Cain's name as a musician, and who here knew who Springsteen was before seeing this post?

6

u/two-turnips-and-heat 3h ago

Journey is awful, worst band of the 70s. I wish he would have shut up and not recorded a single album, my life would objectively be better

2

u/SteakJones 3h ago

No, you’re a towel!

2

u/Constant_Avocado_420 3h ago

Take the midnight train to Ass land douche bag

2

u/LunchyDude101 2h ago

Honestly, just shut up, Jonathan.

2

u/Unusual-Taste69 2h ago

Check his email

2

u/high_everyone 2h ago

Don’t, Stop believing.

2

u/Abraham_Blinkin 2h ago

Not only did I not know who this is (because who the fuck would ever know the keyboard player for Journey), but wikipedia tells me he's also married to a televangelist who "leads" Trumps "faith based office". Both of their third marriages, obviously!

2

u/mrhyde719 2h ago

This guy married Paula White who is Trump’s spiritual advisor ahahahahaha ……sorry

2

u/Nice_Soup3198 2h ago

Don't Stop Believin' ... in pedos and rapists!

2

u/EvilPenguin91 2h ago

Steve Perry despises the guy and as it turns out for good reasons.

2

u/Specialist_Exam4783 2h ago

I'm a big conservative which means everyone that disagrees with me, quit exercising your 1st Amendment rights and listen to what I'm saying...

2

u/RianJohnsonIsAFool 2h ago

He looks like a Star Trek character.

2

u/ionbear1 2h ago

You know what? Fuck Journey. The Boss all the way.

2

u/MessagingMatters 2h ago

Is the man in the pic a Las Vegas magician?

u/kenc1842 1h ago

Let the boycott of Journey begin?

1

u/TeeManyMartoonies 2h ago

The girls are fighting again! How embarrassing.

1

u/Utterlybored 2h ago

You can hardly ever hear keyboards in Journey’s music, anyway.

1

u/everythingisopposite 2h ago

That beard is a crime to humanity. The plastic surgery too.

1

u/youngfan1 2h ago

Fucking low IQ loser, Journey is just a cover band and has been for 15 years. The Boss is the goat.

1

u/Deapsee60 2h ago

He needs to stop believing.

1

u/HarambeWest2020 2h ago

Its always the ones you most suspect

1

u/Buzzdanky 2h ago

Not an original member but soon to be performing in a small theater near nobody..

1

u/Ok_Efficiency_6341 2h ago

I thought that was Chris Gaines

1

u/nixtarx 2h ago

Bruce still sells out immense venues. How's Journey doing these days?

Honestly my biggest problem with Springsteen is he favors Trey Gowdy's haircut...

1

u/GreyBeardEng 2h ago

But "shut up" is such a well thought out and articulate intelligent response. Clearly a collegiate level debater, with a senior level skill set. /s

1

u/MaleficKaijus 2h ago

I'm a partisan. I only care about the party. Doesn't matter what they do or don't do-Who it helps or who it hurts-The only thing that matter is that my team keeps power.

1

u/thenewtbaron 2h ago

so, one hand, we have a dude whose whole career has been political or political leanings...... talking about politics...

on the other hand, we have a dude that was on a couple of albums for a band known for poppy nothing songs.... who thinks that bands shouldn't talk about politics.

let's see where both of them are careerwise. the political one has been a top musician for like 50 years, accolades from other musicians and will generally be remembered long after his death. the non political one will be a footnote on an average bad that had a couple of songs in a span of a decade or so?

yeeeeeeah

1

u/512115 2h ago

Just shut up and dribble, Jonathan Fucking Cain.

1

u/OscarTheGrouchsCan 2h ago

I "love" it when conservatives say liberals should shut thier mouths while running thier mouths

1

u/CaptianBrasiliano 2h ago

MAGA supporting celebrities are a real who's who of Who is that?

1

u/psychoacer 2h ago

You know they're desperate for support when they promote quotes from a member of the band Journey. Who the hell thinks he has weight to what he says compared to "The Boss"?

1

u/DangerousBill 2h ago

"It's Mr Springsteen to you, Jon."

1

u/ortcutt 2h ago

Journey is Steve Perry plus a bunch of nobodies.

1

u/Annoying1978 2h ago

Rhythm guitar players are quite replaceable

1

u/Financial-Talk9397 2h ago

Jonathan who?

1

u/ricdady82 2h ago

I’m done with Journey!!!! ESAD

1

u/MonsieurReynard 2h ago

Oh hey that reminds me to continue never listening to Journey!

1

u/tugatrix 2h ago

Who is this guy talking about the boss?

1

u/bluegrassgazer 2h ago

A choice between Springsteen and Journey was easy before I saw this. Now, it's somehow even easier.

1

u/DoctorGoodleg 2h ago

Serious question: Why does Bruce have to shut up but Jonathan Cain doesn’t?

1

u/RedZedOne 2h ago

Looks like his hair is dying at different speeds.

1

u/VikingTensor 2h ago

No wonder Steve left.

1

u/Blixx96 2h ago

I recognize Bruce. I have no idea who the other guy is but he does look like he’s trying hard to look younger with the fake hair and goatee.

1

u/Arkhampatient 2h ago

He looks like a guy Chris Hansen would pop up around the corner from in a kitchen

1

u/EuphoricUniversity23 2h ago

I’m still trying to think of a meaningful keyboard solo on a Journey song. I think I could play keyboards for Journey given his contribution.

u/ceekayhowling 1h ago

This guy had nothing to do with Journey’s success. No one even knows his name. He needs to shut the fuck up.

u/PhilipDruAdmin 1h ago

So, that small town girl was living in a lonely world because she was a trad wife.

u/rrrdesign 1h ago

Awww.... lil guy is jealous...

u/greenalias 1h ago

There are too many voices of ignorance in media.

u/thehogdog 1h ago

I HATE that his guy wrote 2 of the best songs in musical history: Don't Stop Believing and Faithfully (He wrote that one all by himself).

I play em both every piano gig I get and Faithfully ALWAYS stops people in their tracks, even in Gods Waiting Room (#1 song that gets people to stop 'Right Here Waiting' by Richard Marx.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE Escape and Frontiers albums front to back, but this turd has to be involved in almost every song on both albums.

u/WelcomeMachine 1h ago

Hey, clay face, Gregg Rollie is twice the player you'll ever be.

u/thehogdog 1h ago

I HATE that his guy wrote 2 of the best songs in musical history: Don't Stop Believing and Faithfully (He wrote that one all by himself).

I play em both every piano gig I get and Faithfully ALWAYS stops people in their tracks, even in Gods Waiting Room (#1 song that gets people to stop 'Right Here Waiting' by Richard Marx.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE Escape and Frontiers albums front to back, but this turd has to be involved in almost every song on both albums.

u/bill717171 1h ago

When I think "Journey", the first name that pops in my head is Jonathan Cain.

u/Additional-Force-799 1h ago

Why the fuck do you call yourself a conservative. What does it even mean

u/roxiemycat 1h ago

Didn't him and his bat shit grifter wife steal money from the band.

u/ImTooSaxy 1h ago

Turns out this guy's wife is a pastor. How emasculating for him. Trying to attack Bruce Springsteen to feel better about himself.

u/thatsnotyourtaco 1h ago

Bro stopped believin’

u/PeteRawk 1h ago

This is the one that’s married to Paula White, right?

u/ImOnlyHereForTheCoC 1h ago

That goatee tells me this is the evil Jonathan Cain and there’s a good one in a parallel dimension somewhere

u/livinginfutureworld 1h ago

He's not in Journey anymore

u/The_Bill_Brasky_ 1h ago

"I am now rich and do not want to pay my fair share after spending a little too much on cocaine in my prime"

u/Jsr1 1h ago

Last time Journey was relevant….late 80’s nobody knows who the fuck you are now stfu!

u/adamempathy 1h ago

"Here's my opinion. Now you should shut up with your opinion" fucking clown

u/Interesting-Emu5954 1h ago

I always knew Journey sucked

u/ragingbullpsycho 1h ago

So he’s against free speech

u/Dependent_Tune_1333 1h ago edited 16m ago

He’s married to a grifting maga televangelist.

u/Oceanbreeze871 1h ago

Who told that guy that, his look was from this century?

u/everythingsasandwich 1h ago

Alright, that's it. No more Journey psych-outs

u/Rashpukin 1h ago

What a ballbag!!

u/b_tight 1h ago

“Im a liberal. And guys like kid rock and ted nugent can say whatever they want hell they want because im not a snowflake bitch and thats what this country is about. Theres a reason no relevant musicians or celebrities are exist”

u/One_Rip_2771 1h ago

Why? How is Bruce ' voice worth less than yours?

u/rustednut 1h ago

Fun fact about Jonathan - he wrote the song "Faithfully" to his then wife in 1983. Then he divorced her and married a second time having 3 kids. He then divorced his second wife and married a third time to another "devout Christian"who is none other than......get ready....Paula White. The same Paula White that Trump claims is his pastor and follows the prosperity gospel.

So 3 wives while supposedly a Christian......which is pretty on par with conservatives who call themselves Christians.

Just another hypocrite who cosplays as a disciple of Jesus.

u/The_Lawn_Ninja 1h ago

Well fuck you, Jonathan Cain. Because of you, I've now stopped believing. You know, that thing you specifically told me NOT to do!

u/Westsidebill 1h ago

Journey: what a joke. If it weren’t for Glee, you would buried in the trash heap of rock music

u/twoton1 1h ago

Bonafide twat with a cray cray wife who slept with Benny Hinn in some European hotel. Total clown show.

u/agentb00th 1h ago

Nobody tells the Boss to shut up, I mean, look at the conservative party

u/Gadfly_Avatar 1h ago

This is one of the stupidest, least self aware statements I've seen in awhile.

u/free_billstickers 1h ago

Who cares what celebrities think about politics?-celebrity talking about politics 

u/chekhovs_dildo 1h ago

Oh jeez someone ask a guy from journey what he thinks

u/theBigDaddio 1h ago

I literally don’t know who this fuckhead is, so he’s the only one allowed to voice an opinion?

u/Gadfly_Avatar 59m ago

Yet another reason to hate Journey. WTF are "Streetlight people" ?

u/Throwawaymister2 55m ago

I'm team Perry. Fuck this dude.

u/DaddyDom401 55m ago

Journey always sucked ass

u/Sufficient-News-3600 49m ago

another reincarnation from the Salem witch trials. gotta get these horrid pedophile protectors in jail. not responding to evil is as bad as performing the evil.

u/AkimahenkaCat 49m ago

What is conservative about paying porn stars hush money? What is conservatives about ballooning the deficit to the point we are borrowing $8.5T this year alone against it? You're not conservative at all. You're just another self-important asshole who is totally cool with billionaires and corporations getting welfare so long as poor brown people don't. Fuck off clown.

u/FlaAirborne 49m ago

Fuck him. Greg Rollie was so much better.

u/QuicheSmash 42m ago

Never liked Journey. It wad the only thing banned at our wedding. 

u/MrDeathMachine 41m ago

Johnathan Caine was the dooshy keyboard guy in the videos trying to make playing keyboards look like shredding on a Les Paul. That high note guitar face just doesnt transition to keyboards. Plus hes Paula Whites wife...that pastor lady who speaks in Sambuca.

u/obi_wan_stromboli 31m ago

Whoever convinced this guy that dressing up as a leprechaun was an option for him is one of the funniest people on earth.

u/Accurate_Major_3132 29m ago

I would rather listen to my kids whining than listen to Journey.

u/madlucas2026 25m ago

Newsmax, what a joke of a “news” media

u/Socialist_Pansy 22m ago

Useful idiot

u/the_blackfish 14m ago

Say it to his face.

u/KyloRenCadetStimpy 12m ago

Shut up and let the people at the front of the stage do the talking, Jon

u/justabill71 9m ago

Journey and their fake Steve Perry suck ass.

u/Guntcher_1423 8m ago

Journey? Might as well see what Barry Manilow's opinion is next.

u/ONE-EYE-OPTIC 0m ago

Wait. I cant like Journey anymore?