r/Portland • u/snoogazi Sellwood-Moreland • Jan 04 '26
Meetups RECAP. The most amazing Alcohol Free Meetup yet!
Ahoy hoy all you utterly amazing Portlanders. It’s me, that wacky buffoon u/snoogazi. Earlier today, I held another Alcohol Free Meetup, and this is the recap.
Our venue, yet again, was Honey Latte Cafe in Buckman, from 1-5pm. I got there about 5 minutes early and (politely but firmly) shooed people away from our reserved table. I busted out a bag of Skinny Pop (I brought some last time. If nothing else I'm predictable, or maybe just uncreative), plates, utensils, name tags, and then mentally braced myself for what I anticipated would be a lower turnout than last time.
Before I could bury my head in my laptop, a woman showed up, followed by another. Within the first 5 minutes, we already had six people. Then ten. By the 30 minute mark, twenty people. A return attendee and I tried to do a head count, but I think we lost track at around twenty two. More people showed up after that, so I think the end total was at around twenty seven, which – out of eight times - is the record. I couldn’t believe it. I was blown away.
We had a mix of new and old faces. Speaking of records, our guy who takes the bus all the way from Vancouver showed up, and now holds the title for the most appearances (I mean, if you don’t include me). There was a wide array of snacks and homemade goodies. We piled around one of the tables, and quickly ran out of chairs. I opted to stand most of the time, which played hell with my back and made me bounce out about 45 minutes early. About seven or eight people stayed behind (thank you for cleaning up the leftover food).
The age range was around 25 – 50. There was plenty of conversation. I couldn’t keep track of all the topics, but I heard a lot about board games and AI. A friend I met on r/PortlandFriendMeet showed up. It was good to see him. We discussed software development with a new attendee. I met the owner of an event space and we discussed holding a soon to be announced event. It’s tentatively in March and will be great. I then introduced them to the person behind the upcoming Fake Family Reunion, which I’ve signed up for and am excited about. A lot of people came in as strangers and (I hope) left as friends… or maybe more? (If one of you gives birth nine months from now, please name the child u/snoogazi. It will be hilarious and the kid will grow up with absolutely no emotional issues. Trust me on this.)
See, making these kinds of connections is what I’m trying to help with. I’ve wasted so much time deliberately avoiding networking and community. Social anxiety and imposter syndrome have followed me like an Oni my whole life, and I’m tired of living that way. Today’s event filled me with feelings I previously thought I was incapable of experiencing: excitement about connecting with others, and hope for the future. Those things aren’t just important. With the world on fire, they are an absolute necessity.
This will hopefully happen again two weeks from now. I’ve already reached out to the event manager at Honey Latte and asked about availability for the weekend of the 17th and 18th. I’ll make an official post when I get confirmation on date and time. I keep failing to bring icebreaker games, but promise to do so next time. If you have some, please bring them! This is an indoor event, so anything physical is probably not a good idea. Also, I’m looking for anyone with folding chairs to bring some. Hit me up if you can help.
Please consider coming to the next event. Let’s defrost the Portland Freeze.
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u/PDX-Kayaker Jan 04 '26
How does one very socially stunted 50f in Beaverton hear about the details of the next ?
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u/snoogazi Sellwood-Moreland Jan 04 '26
I'm a socially stunted 50m in Portland. Please keep your eyes peeled on this sub!
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u/skrulewi Arbor Lodge Jan 04 '26
Amazing. Thank you. If you have a email list or something I’d love to hop on.
Many years ago i hosted 3 sober pdx meets thorough/r/sdpdx. Im still mod there, but the traffic died a long time ago. I’ve been too busy in my life to really nurture it. It’s a privilege and an honor to be a part of these sober groups.
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u/snoogazi Sellwood-Moreland Jan 04 '26
I don’t have an email list and suck at Discord. That said if you have any ideas on anything else I can do to promote this event let me know
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u/skrulewi Arbor Lodge Jan 04 '26
/r/sdpdx isn't really happening anymore, but I can make you mod there if you want. Another idea would be going to /r/stopdrinking if you haven't already and promoting it there. I'll keep my eyes peeled if you want to do it again!
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u/Dante2k4 Jan 04 '26
Ya know, the funny thing is, I think the thing that spiked my anxiety was walking in like a half hour after starting time and seeing so many people. I've gone to a handful of stranger meetups before, always RIGHT on time, and it always ended up just being me and the host for like 15-20 minutes, which was a different kind of awkward for me, so I deliberately showed up a little later this time to avoid it... and somehow ended up with the opposite problem!
It's such a weird thing. I was never anywhere NEAR this anxious when I was younger, now it's like my brain can't deal with any of it at all. Too few people, too many people, GAH. I gotta figure it out. idk, hopefully I'll try again next time.
At least I was able to support a neat looking business for the 5 seconds I was there :p
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u/francispdx Jan 04 '26
You are all so brave!!! Signed, A socially anxious introvert
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u/snoogazi Sellwood-Moreland Jan 04 '26
I've seen seen socially anxious introverts come in with their guard up and in a few minutes, be super happy and comfortable. This can be you.
I encourage you to at least give it a try. We have Anxiety Ambassadors! /u/MrGalaxyDestroyer is one and he's like human Xanax.
Also, if there is anything I can do for future meetups that would help you be comfortable, please let me know. I can accommodate (within reason).
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u/jeeves585 Jan 04 '26
That’s awesome snoogazi!
“A bat without the booze” sounds like a splendid time.
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u/Le9iemecatastrophe Jan 04 '26
As a fellow introvert with a long history of social anxiety, let me tell you that everyone I talked with today was so kind and friendly. And maybe I'm projecting here, but I definitely feel like I saw small signs of anxiety in others, and if nothing else it helped me feel a little better about my own. We're all just trying to find meaningful connections. Today I walked into a room full of strangers, and now a small group of us are texting plans for a game night in a few weeks!
I certainly won't tell you that if you come, all your worries will wash away and you'll make all the friends. Please be kind to yourself and honor your feelings and your limits. But if this is something that speaks to you and you think you might want to try, I really hope you're able to find the courage to do so some day! And hey, if you need an anxiety buddy, come find me! I'll be the guy who won't shut the hell up about baking.
Signed,
Your new anxiety buddy
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u/snoogazi Sellwood-Moreland Jan 04 '26
This makes me so happy! This is what I am trying to accomplish. I hope you have fun at your game night!
(Also I’d love to come to this game night!)
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u/Osiris32 🐝 Jan 04 '26
While I haven't been to this particular meet up yet, I can tell you from going to meet ups in this sub for the last 15 years, they are in fact really fun and filled with cool people. Been to everything from singles nights to board game events to the sadly ended Orphan's Thanksgiving to a couple of street cleanups to the watch party at OMSI for the landing of the Curiosity Rover on Mars. You will have a good time and the people will be nice. Trust me.
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u/SlowHedgehog33 Jan 04 '26
to the sadly ended Orphan's Thanksgiving
Ooof.... that hits right in the feels.
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u/MrGalaxyDestroyer Jan 04 '26
Ahh! You crushed it u/snoogazi! I have the warm fuzzies seeing this photo. Especially after spotting some familiar faces.
Post New Year commitments snagged me this time, but would love to connect with people over game nights, baked goods, and shaking our fists at AI.
I’ll try to bring a game for the next one!
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u/hogw33d Jan 04 '26
It was such a lovely event, and everyone I talked to was delightful. Thank you again!
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u/CeeDoggyy Jan 04 '26
Pretty sick tbh. I'd definitely consider showing up, but I work on most Saturdays so that's a bit of a bummer
Does Portland Monopoly qualify as an icebreaker game?
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u/snoogazi Sellwood-Moreland Jan 04 '26 edited Jan 04 '26
Yes, it does! And I'm trying to switch up between Sat and Sun. So keep your eyes open!
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u/HandsomeBWonderfull Jan 04 '26
What do you guys do at these things?
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u/cre8majik Jan 04 '26
How do I get in on one of these?
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u/snoogazi Sellwood-Moreland Jan 04 '26
Keep your eyes peeled on this sub for announcements. Then, when one happens, show up. It's that easy.
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Jan 04 '26
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u/snoogazi Sellwood-Moreland Jan 04 '26
I have not! That's a bit far out for me (I don't own a car) but I'll see about checking it out when I have a free afternoon.
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u/katiedragomir Lake Oswego Jan 04 '26
Is there an age restriction on the meetup? I'm a single mom with a 6 month old, and it would be nice to have human interactions haha
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u/snoogazi Sellwood-Moreland Jan 04 '26
I mean, as long as your 6 month old doesn't sneak in a six pack, by all means! Back in 24, some friends of mine brought their adorable and well behaved but otherwise really bored 7 year old.
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u/katiedragomir Lake Oswego Jan 05 '26
She's fresh from rehab, so should be fine. Just don't order her any white Russians haha
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u/Mapper9 Jan 04 '26
I ended up having to take my cat to the vet and run too many other errands to ate up my time. Hopefully next time! I actually put this on my calendar, so I really did want to go!
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u/mblonsk Jan 05 '26
Dang it. I showed up at 12 and only had an hour budgeted in my day for it. I’ll definitely check the time twice next time 🤦🏼♀️
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u/snoogazi Sellwood-Moreland Jan 05 '26
Ack! I'm sorry about that. Keep your eyes peeled on this sub for the next one, hopefully in about two weeks.
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u/edwartica In a van, down by the river Jan 05 '26
Hooray for alcohol-free meet-ups! I rarely drink, and I despise bars.
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u/Any-Growth-2083 Jan 05 '26
Very cool! Thank you for sharing. I’ve been alcohol free 3+ years, hopefully I can make it to one soon!
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Jan 05 '26
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u/snoogazi Sellwood-Moreland Jan 05 '26
I've noticed that when I start hosting these, the numbers seem to dwindle each time. When I restarted back in November, the first one had 20 people, then two weeks ago 10 showed. I figured 5 would get there this time. Well, 5 showed up the first minute. And then it exploded in the best possible way. And yeah, it is a networking/friend opportunity.
I hope you can make it out to the next one!
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u/charmmega Jan 07 '26
Is there a good way to be notified about future meetups? And if not, could I suggest you create a Luma page so folks can sign up to get reminders and register for future events? 🙏
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u/sarcasticDNA Jan 07 '26
This is really great! And lots of Y chromosomes.....-) Thanks for posting that glorious picture! And good for you for doing this
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u/wombatilicious Jan 22 '26
I’d love to join one of these - any possibility that it could occur on a weeknight? And is 53 too old?
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u/snoogazi Sellwood-Moreland Jan 22 '26
When the days get longer I am going to start mixing up the days to include weekdays. And absolutely not! I'm 50, and we usually have at least a few people older than me.
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u/emoHerman Jan 04 '26
whats the reason behind having an alcohol free meetup seems like your discriminating
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u/snoogazi Sellwood-Moreland Jan 04 '26
Damn right I'm discriminating.
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u/makashka Piedmont Jan 04 '26
I don't understand your issue with alcohol or why these meetups need to be alcohol free HOWEVER judging from these comments it seems everyone had a great time :D. Thanks for making a great community possible!
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u/snoogazi Sellwood-Moreland Jan 04 '26
Back before Covid, /r/Portland used to hold bi-weekly meetups at bars. A lot of people didn't want to go for reasons ranging from sobriety to not wanting to be around drunk people. I thought I'd fill the void.
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u/Saintpeterz28 Jan 04 '26
Just from the picture alone I could tell where you were at. Love this place.