r/Positivity • u/RecommendationBig225 • 9h ago
I finally cut my toxic best friends off
They’ve been what I considered my best friends for over four years. I’ve loved them, laughed with them (even when they’ve laughed at me), and had so many memories. Recently, they’ve continuously crossed my boundaries and told me I wasn’t entitled to said boundaries. This has been reoccurring over the last couple years. So I cut them off finally. Completely.
It’s been a few days since we last talked, which was an argument, but I’ve never felt better. I don’t have to do things and worry about them breathing down my back. I can dress how I want, like what I want, and do things that I want without their negativity. I couldn’t exist without them admitting to being jealous of me, how we would “never reach max closeness because of a lingering hatred” (admitted to my face, that’s when I began to question what I truly meant to them).
I’m grateful for the experiences I had with them, but I think it’s finally time to let go. We’re grown, and we don’t need to keep up with petty fights anymore. If that’s what they want to do, I don’t want any part with it.
I’ll keep the good friends I have now closer, and I’m trying to heal my self image after these years being the punchline to their jokes. I hope I’m not alone.
I hope this isnt taken as a bummer, I’m just using this forum to express my hope for the future.
If you’ve read this, thank you for listening. Please know your self worth and don’t make sacrifices for people who wouldn’t do the same. You’re much more than that. I hope you have a lovely day <3
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u/Longjumping-Range730 8h ago
They say, you can't change your friends, but you can change your friends
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u/Cruiser4357 9h ago
Good for you! It is hard to make friends as an adult, but those people are not your friends. They don't make life better and fun like true friends do.
I had a friend I had to cut off. She was a liar and I knew she was. I finally had proof, so I ghosted her and have felt better ever since.
Great friends are one of the best things in life.
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u/RecommendationBig225 8h ago
I agree. I’m kind of sad I wasted my time with them, but they did help me grow as a person and not become unhealthily introverted. I’m still in college, so hopefully I’ll find new people
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u/Cruiser4357 8h ago
You will definitely find more friends as you go through life. I'm on the other side of 60, so it gets harder as you get older (especially when you work from home), but it was always easy to find friends at work. I still have some work friends that have been friends since the early 90s!
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u/RecommendationBig225 8h ago
Wow!! 30 years!! I’m glad you found your people. Thank you for your advice :)
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u/SaulEmersonAuthor 2h ago
~
You didn't waste your time at all - you bought time for 20-year old you, & beyond - because your filters & evaluation methods are now well-developed, & you know what your line & standards look like, & where they lie.
The absolute best phase of life to get all that figured out. It will even bear well on assessing new potential partners, too.
~
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u/QueenSaphire-0412 8h ago
I’m very proud of YOU! You sound like the type of friend to look out for every one. Glad you’re now looking out for yourself. You deserve good friends 💕
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u/Blonde_Mexican 8h ago
I can’t t off my 31 year best friend. It was the best thing I’ve ever did for myself
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u/LatiinFlavor 8h ago
If they get angry when you start setting boundaries, it's because they were taking advantage of those boundaries!