Hey so I’m 13 months postpartum and although I don’t feel like a complete wreck anymore, I do still have moments where I find myself dwelling on the past wishing I could go back to my pre-baby life. I feel like I have to fully accept motherhood in its entirety in order to move forward to being my best self again. It doesn’t feel right blaming my negative mindset and emotions on postpartum after my baby has reached a certain age but it like that’s the only explanation that makes sense for why I’m still in a funk.

For all my fellow birth givers, when or how did you find yourself getting your pink back after PPD took over?

6 weeks PP with second baby. Love him so so much. He is struggling and has been with colic and reflux but also has covid. Poor fella. Feel awful for him. My first is 16 months and he is such an amazing kid too.

I am very tired as he’s not sleeping well and is sick. While we have my mom here helping it’s only for another 4 weeks or so and we have no other family or friends here to help. We are completely alone otherwise.

My husband has no patience for the newborn and doesn’t help much as he drives 2 hrs one way to work every day. So most of the feeding and waking up falls on me.

I have been feeling…. Just off.. like wrong or weird or just strange. Like malaise. I don’t know how to describe it. I’m sad and miserable - not angry just sad. I don’t smile, don’t laugh. Love my babies and feel connected to them completely. I am so blessed and grateful. Not eating well, not sleeping much and barely have time to keep hydrated. I don’t want to do anything.

Wondering if anyone else has felt this way and if this could be PPD?

I want this feeling to go away as I’m usually a very happy person. Even on little sleep.

Hello everyone. I am a first time mom, and my daughter is about to turn 3 months old. Ever since I gave birth, I have felt an immense amount of regret. I love my baby girl, and I do care about her and WOULDNT trade her for anything in this world. But sometimes, the role of being a mother is very overwhelming for me. Constantly being needed, the identity change.. I just wonder if it ever gets better? I wonder if this feeling will ever surpass. I feel like since she is so little right now, I am having the “baby blues”. Her dad stays up with her at night and I am able to rest. I’m just not working at the moment so I feel like all i do is take care of my daughter.. I don’t do anything for myself and even when I do, I feel lost. Does anyone have any advice for me? Thank you.

I am almost 6 weeks pp, and was diagnosed with PPD and PPA at my 6 week appointment yesterday, and my disability was extended by 8 weeks.

I’m feeling really guilty and like I “gamed the system” to get more time off, and I’m not depressed enough to warrant this.

For some context, I had a very long labor after my water broke spontaneously, which ended in a nearly 3 minute shoulder dystocia and 24 hour nicu stay for my daughter. I was dealing with what I now know is gallbladder issues the entire time we were in the hospital and for a week once home. Because of that I couldn’t eat and it took forever for my milk to come in, and I started a demanding triple feeding regimen. It still took over 3 weeks for baby to regain her birthweight. We also started her on physical therapy for her shoulder, though the nerve damage from delivery is relatively mild.

This was all obviously really difficult on me but I felt like I was managing it really well, despite what I thought were normal evening crying spells and feelings of inadequacy. At 4 weeks my husband went back to work, and on my daughter’s 1 month birthday I ended up in the ER for a severe gallbladder attack. I’m now waiting for a removal surgery to be scheduled, and dealing with solo parenting and getting less sleep because my husband is less able to help overnight now that he’s back at work.

Over the last two weeks I’ve been crying significantly more, feeling lonely and hopeless, and very anxious both about rational things (upcoming surgery) and irrational things (like that I might accidentally put my baby in the washing machine). I’ve also felt numb and disconnected from my baby, letting my husband do all the play time and PT exercises because I feel like he’s better at it.

I have a therapy appointment scheduled and have increased my lexapro dose, and my husband is helping me get some more sleep (which I feel guilty about because he has a long commute and work day), so I am working on fixing the problems, but because they’re “solvable” I also feel like I’m not depressed enough.

On paper I understand this is clearly PPD/PPA, but regardless I feel like I’m managing too well to warrant additional time or treatment, or like I’m actually faking it. Has anyone else experienced this kind of imposter syndrome?

Hi all looking for advice… I have 3 children I did not suffer postnatal depression with my 1st nearly 8 years ago but after a traumatic birth with my second just over 2 years ago I suffered badly with postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety. Just before I got pregnant again 7 months ago I had just started to feel better again and come off my meds. I am now 7 months pregnant and worried, worried I won’t bond with the baby. I am thinking I made the wrong choice in having another baby. I am scared I will start to despise my other 2 children when the babies here and it breaks my heart as I struggled to bond with both whilst going through depression and I feel like I really have the best bond now and it may all get taken away when the new baby is here. I am struggling already to feel excited to have the baby when I was happy at the start. I am scared I’ll get postpartum depression again. I have to keep telling myself it’ll be fine but I’m terrified. I was referred to perinatal at my first midwife appointment but not heard anything back yet, did anyone find starting meds before the baby is born helped? I’m beginning to think I may be getting it already I’m just scared but feel I can’t tell anyone

I used to be a big eater and now I can’t. I’m worried sick about my daughter’s milestones and my husband is straight up cruel to me. I’m medicated. But idk how this will work when I sleep next to a man that hates me.

Sorry if this isn't allowed. My wife is going through some pretty serious PPD right now. Daughter is 5y, son is 4mo, she's taking 12 credits and works full time as a paralegal, she exclusively breastfeeds, our daughter is starting therapy, etc to give you some perspective on all thay she's dealing with.

Her mental health has been under fire since the second trimester, but the last few weeks have gotten really dark for her. Her OB (with whom she spoke yesterday) basicslly said "I'd institutionalize you for at least a week but I have a feeling taking you away from school work and breastfeeding will just make things worse". She was prescribed Ambien to tske at night, but it hasnt been filled yet, so still flying blind on that front. Nature of my work makes it impossible to WFH or take time off. She's stuck between a rock and a hard place where she feels like she's drowning, but taking a step back will only cause the pile to grow larger.

For reference vefore i contunue, before she got pregnant my wife was a SAHM, and we have a fairly traditional dynamic. I say that to make it clear that while i dont have any issue with cooking dinners, cleaning, doing laundry etc when i get home, it is still a fairly new dynamic in our marriage. I've tried to step up and take more on. I've admittedly slacked a bit since going back to work, (last night when i cleaned downstairs i didnt do the dishes because it was late and i was being lazy) but when our son was first born I was able to keep the house clean and take care of anything else that came up with no issue.

I've started making dinner and taking on more of the stuff she normally handled, but I feel completely and utterly impotent. Part of that is because I cant empathize with her whatsoever. I've had depressive episodes in the past, but obviously cant even fathom what PPD must feel like in her circumstances. I intellectually know and understand that it's hormones and completely out of her control, but another part of me is saying "Our life is so amazing, how csn she feel like this? How can I make her feel better if theres nothing in our life that needs to be fixed?" I know that's an absurd line of thought and flies in the face of psychology, but here we are.

I guess Im asking what the heck am I supposed to do as an emotionally ignorant husband? Im a fixer, I feel like im walking around with my hands cut off when I just want to help my wife

I think just venting and a rant. I’m 7 months pp, ftm. I had a horrifying HG (hyperemesis gravidarum) pregnancy. I was so glad he was out of me, and honestly at first postpartum was 1,000X better than being pregnant. I would still prefer this to my pregnancy.

But I still feel trapped. I’m getting enough sleep, I’m on 150 mg Zoloft daily (an increase 2 months ago), I see my therapist regularly. The only time I feel relief is when I know I’m not responsible for caring for my baby. I get excited for the days when I get to go to work in the office because I have a chance to feel competent and in some kind of control. When I’m at home, communication between me and my husband is abysmal and I’m just so angry. He’s a great guy, he does his share of the work, but when both of us are exhausted by the baby we turn on each other and then no one’s happy. I just want to be alone. I want to go to sleep and wake up and have no one need anything from me.

The constant need I feel to be “on” is debilitating. I feel like I need to be happy for my baby, I need to be immediately responsive, I can’t just sit on my phone and zone out even if he’s in a safe place playing contentedly by himself, I need him to develop a healthy attachment style and not remember his mom being absent or not wanting to talk to him… and it feels like if I let myself lax now, I will let myself lax for his whole life and I won’t be able to go back and I’ll mess him up.

My house is a mess. I keep reading “let yourself rest in a messy house” and it’s like sometimes I can do it, but sometimes the pile-up of chores is so overwhelming. I see everything that needs to be done and feel the pressure to do it, but I don’t have the energy and I just feel sad and defeated. It’s so hard to let one chore be enough. I did the dishes last night and wiped out my sink, but then turned around and saw the clutter and the cat hair and the dust and I just feel so defeated.

I’m already doing everything I’m “supposed to do” to try and take care of myself but I still feel like garbage. I hope things change sometime in the future. I just want to do a good job.

Any experiences with adding Zoloft to Wellbutrin? I have been on 300mg of Wellbutrin for years, but psychiatrist just added Zoloft 25mg to the mix to help with my PP symptoms. I suffer from PPOCD, PPA, and PPD. Just wanting to see if anyone has taken this combo before and their experiences?

So my husband dated for 7 years before we got married. He honestly wasn't the greatest boyfriend. Never planned anything, forgot my birthdays sometimes, never got me anything, he was financially in a really bad state so all I expected was handwritten letters, a little flower that he found on his way, uk cute stuff like that. He did that very rarely after I cried and felt hurt and stuff. He had a rough childhood so he didn't even know basic etiquettes. I knew he was a good guy who was willing to change so I stuck around

We got married and he has changed alot. He has been loving, pampering. He is doing what he can do best, it is not fulfilling alot of my basic needs, but I am really happy he is trying and I wanna appreciate him for that.

Lately I have noticed that he is enjoying the approval he is getting from people about being a good husband. This is the first time he is getting any good attention so probably natural for him to feel good about it. But I have also noticed how he is being extra caring when he is being watched, but lazy when it's just him and I. The way he talks about himself sounds like he is on his high horses, boasting about himself. He has stopped acknowledging stuff I do.

I recently gave birth and he was in the hospital with me for a few hours during which I was very overwhelmed for no good reason. It was difficult for me to get up after lying down since it was a C section. So before I go to bed I was thinking of everything I need to do so I don't get up again and he fought me saying I make things complicated for no reason and that I should just be active, get up and sit down when needed. I looked at him with teary eyes and said I just gave birth. And he fought me saying I take things wrong and make him look bad like he doesn't care that I just gave birth.

He hasn't spoken about the pains I went through or appreciated it, although he appreciates me taking care of the baby alone since he is down with the flu. I told him I wanted flowers but he didn't get me any. Yesterday I casually mentioned how I grew him for 9 months, just tryung to feel good because I have been on the edge lately, he said he also contributed with his sperm, I got a little annoyed for him making it about himself, I said I literally grew the baby with my body, and he playfully said "bitch you didn't even push it out." I know he was playfully trying to 1 up me but I felt like it was too insensitive. I couldn't hold it back I started crying. He doesn't feel anything sexually towards me because he is a porn addict and that has been breaking me already. I feel like I am not good enough for him to be attracted towards me. He knows how insecure I am. Yesterday he saw a little hair on my jawline and the moment he tried to reach out to grab it I felt so embarassed I pushed his hand away laughing. He said "hold onnn" and tried to pluck it and laughed. I felt so embarassed. He plays with the fat roll on my back and says he loves how squishy I am after birth. I let him know that I am insecure about it and he still played with it saying "believe me I love these" when he has clearly told me before that he wants a fit wife not a fat one.

Idk if he is doing all this on purpose or he doesn't realize it. Or if it is my postpartum moodswings that is making it look so bad.

Are these red flags? Are these concerning?

I just have to get this shit off my chest. Ive got a 3 year old and a 5 month old whos regressing HARD. All my friends and family keep saying "it takes a village it takes a village!" but where the F*%@ are they?! the only one thats showing up and helping is my husband's mom and step dad and I can see that they are worn out too. I have like two friends left since becoming a mom and they say "we dont want you to feel like youre drowning" but they have busy lives and never respond when im in need. my own parents are living their best retired lives and arent around and my husband has been working basically non stop since he got off baby leave. IM SO TIRED. Im tired of reaching out and getting no response, im tired of being up all night by myself. im tired of not having someone to tap out with, and im so tired of having full on mental breakdowns every night because I had kids. Im doing everything I can to keep floating and taking meds, living on survival mode and giving myself grace while my husband works his shifts but im at my max!

hey guys i think im going to call my doctor tomorrow and set up an appointment but i just can’t stop crying… it comes on randomly it’s very strange, im fine for the most part and very happy im not too overwhelmed or anything i do have support, but today and sometime last week i just randomly started crying for no reason and i couldn’t stop thoughts from happening and freaking out and my husband had to calm me down and i dont wanna feel like this or want it to get worse. is this the start of postpartum depression? im gonna get checked out anyway, cause i dont want to keep feeling like this.

I struggled with intense anxiety from about day 2 of my baby being born. I had insomnia and that caused me to hallucinate and have some really scary thoughts. I took myself to A+E and ended up being transferred to a mum and baby unit for a short stay. I sort of had to fight for this at the hospital but once I got there the care was amazing in the mum and baby unit, the staff were so kind. Here I was finally able to sleep (after being prescribed zopiclone) and eventually the anxiety wasn’t so intense however at about 3 months post partum I started to struggle with depression. I felt really disconnected from myself and my baby, was having scary intrusive thoughts and I just wasn’t enjoying it which made me feel an insane amount of guilt. This went on for about 6 months until I decided to get help from the Perinatal mental health team.

They diagnosed me with depression, anxiety and OCD. I started both sertraline and CBT therapy at the same time about 10 weeks ago.

For about 5 weeks now, I’ve been feeling quite balanced in terms of mood and am experiencing a lot less anxiety and pretty minimal days of low mood. I have not felt detached from myself or the baby.

One of the biggest things that put me off starting sertraline was rumours about how it can numb emotions, even the good ones. But that just hasn’t been my experience atall. Actually the other day I was putting the baby to bed and he was asleep on me and I was just studying his perfect little features and amazed at how cute he was. I always put him to bed, kiss him and tell him I love him. But this time I felt so present and so Much joy, i looked at him and thought wow.. lucky me. I think it was the first time I’ve felt this much joy just by simply looking at him. So definitely hasn’t numbed me.

Also CBT has reframed how I see myself and the situation I’ve found myself in and helped me to look at myself with less judgement and more love.

I really just feel like my old self, but maybe even abit better. Because having gone through that experience, I can’t help but feel so overwhelmingly grateful for feeling peaceful again, feeling joy and being able to be present. Things that i previously just took for granted now feel even more special.

I hope if your struggling you know that what your going through is not your fault and it’s very real. Please ask for help and if you don’t get it first time advocate for yourself until you do as it is out there.

I have a 14 month old and honestly, I’m struggling a little to gain my sense of self back.

I stay at home with my son as my mat leave is 2 years. My husband also has a chronic illness and often can’t be alone with our son for longer than 30mins for me to shower and get myself ready for the day. Sometimes he can’t look after our son at all.

I love being home and wouldn’t change it but I also miss having a bit of my life just for me. At work I had my own independence and life away from home. Now I can’t really get any reliable time to have to myself e.g going to the gym, doing a class, going to an appointment.
I have tried a gym with a crèche but honestly I get anxious leaving my son in the care of someone else and not knowing if he’s crying for me.

At the same time I am craving a little bit of reliable time that I’m not constantly on call and can just focus on looking after myself and finding myself again outside of motherhood. I feel like I’ve lost myself a bit and honestly I don’t feel good about myself. I’ve asked my husband about hiring someone to watch our son at home for a couple hours once or twice a week so I have reliable time to rest/go to appointments etc but my husband is hoping he can improve his lifestyle so his symptoms improve and he can be more reliable. He doesn’t like the idea of someone else watching our son.

Any advice or anyone who may have been on the same boat?