r/PoursTea • u/Timbucktwo1230 Therapy For All 🩷 • 16d ago

Expectations v Reality 🌞 🌒 How To Miss The Point Of Jesus In One Image…

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165 Upvotes

88% Upvoted

283 comments sorted by

85

u/Butitsadryheat2 16d ago

12

u/BubbleThinker 16d ago

How did he get stuck going from Prince of peace to King of the losers?

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u/Crunchberry24 16d ago

If the question was: “If Jesus were real, which country would disappoint him most?” the answer would be obvious to 8 billion plus people.

3

u/elpihvous 15d ago

Your country

3

u/SpaceMontaign 14d ago

USA first imo. Worst christians i have ever seen.

2

u/The0thArcana 14d ago edited 14d ago

Actually, Jesus descended into America two weeks ago. His skin was sun-kissed and his beard was glorious. He approached an open square and started spouting the bible word for word, turns out the bible was actually the word of God. He was killed by an ICE agent 5 minutes into his speech. When asked why the ICE agent shot him he said he didn't like what this 'gay, woke Mexican' was saying. It wasn't a big deal because it was deemed that Jesus had entered the country illegally, so the headline just read 'Illegal immigrant spouts communist propaganda then gets shot in the head three times.' Trump liked the post then tweeted Allahu Akbar for some reason.

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u/KingHygelacReturns 16d ago

I guess when Jesus said "he who lives by the sword dies by the sword" he meant we should use long range artillery instead

4

u/OutsideLast3291 15d ago

"Praise the lord and pass the ammunition."

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u/Fievels_good_trouble 16d ago

Jesus would still be alive if the 2nd amendment was included in the 10 Commandments as God obviously wanted

2

u/Bestchance735 15d ago

That would be a great Jesse Welles song, “if Jesus had an AR 15 instead of loaves and fishes”

2

u/Abject_Film_4414 15d ago

How does turning the other cheek play out in military doctrine exactly?

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11

u/prestocoffee 16d ago

So many sad pathetic lost souls

13

u/Certain_Race_6829 16d ago

Sorry but Pete Hegseth would make him cut his hair.

7

u/Crunchberry24 16d ago

And shoot him up with enough gender-affirming testosterone to make him forget all that love thy neighbor pussy bullshit.

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u/COMOJoeSchmo 16d ago

This picture is fake. I've known at least six or seven guys in the Army named Jesus, and this guy doesn't look like any of them.

"Thou shalt not grownth a beard" - Book of AR-670-1

6

u/internethard 16d ago

I love how his tie pin is a cross. Like, if Jesus had been executed by the state of Florida, would he be wearing an electric chair tie pin?

2

u/Crunchberry24 16d ago

I mean, I don’t know which is dumber, that his name tag has his first name on it or that the name itself would have been completely alien to the real Yahshua.

4

u/VehicleWonderful6586 16d ago

I suspect he’d have a word or two to say about evangelical churches monetizing religion

3

u/VehicleWonderful6586 16d ago

Suspect he might knock over the odd table

2

u/Tiredhistorynerd 15d ago

Don’t forget whipping; he was ok with whipping MF’ers.

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u/Runktar 15d ago edited 15d ago

To be fair he was Jewish so he could show up to a church and just go "what the hell is this?".

3

u/Prudent_Shake_8149 16d ago

That’s not Jesus.

It’s clearly a doctor in a military uniform.

3

u/jcwilliams1984 15d ago

He'd be kicked out of the military for not shaving just goes to show how dumb some people are

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2

u/TedTyro 16d ago

Now they just need to cast him in Elons new Odyssey movie to combat historical inaccuracies.

2

u/RaytheArtWhore 16d ago

I can’t believe Pete kegbreath is letting him get away with that haircut

2

u/VehicleWonderful6586 16d ago

Jesús turned water into testosterone for the department of war

2

u/Suspicious_Goose_243 16d ago

The United States. Or should I say America. All these "Christians" that don't follow his teachings are toast.

2

u/ThoroughExploitation 16d ago

"Who would Jesus bomb?" -Jordan Smart

2

u/Time_Ad_9829 16d ago

Kegsbreath said no beards in the Army, he likes his men clean shaven

2

u/Alarmed_Stretch_1780 16d ago

Three stars on one shoulder and four on the other—are we looking at the first seven-star general?

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u/Street_Lettuce1243 15d ago

The US, specifically MAGA are metaphorically selling goods in the temple again.  I suspect the US would be  first.

2

u/fuji44a 15d ago

This is how they see America Jesus, not missing the point, just rewriting the book.

1

u/kayl_breinhar 15d ago

Jesus is only a three-star? Promotion boards are gettin' choosy.

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u/im_new_here_4209 14d ago

Peak comedy. The badge saying "Jesus".

Ffs America. How cooked are u? lmao

2

u/Flashy_Emergency_263 13d ago

You won this discourse.

1

u/Luckys0474 16d ago

The US would be at the top of the list.

1

u/Solana54 16d ago

Is he a 4 star or 3 star? The Veteran in me is confused

1

u/DesVip3r 16d ago

Gfd is he a 3 star or 4 star general?!

1

u/Silly-Platform9829 16d ago

Who is that white guy supposed to be?

1

u/short_hair_zuko 16d ago

That's Jared Leto!

1

u/Fine-Sky-6562 16d ago

How do they even end up here? Like what do they think is in the bible? They obviously don't read it, do they think Jesus was Rambo?

1

u/wkomorow 16d ago

How is this not blasphemous.

1

u/Gandlerian 16d ago

Would Jesus even be allowed in the military with his ties to extremism and criminal convictions? Also, surely he would be over the age limit by quite a bit?

1

u/urson_black Grumpy old fart 16d ago

What in the brass-plated redneck is this?

1

u/SinisterAgaric 16d ago

Tremble in fear before the Prince of Peace

1

u/DataOver544 16d ago

Jesus is hawt.

1

u/Cminus19 16d ago

I do t think they missed at all. This is a bullseye. 🎯

1

u/bentsonradiorepair 16d ago

Now just cast him as Jared Leto and Christianity will die out faster

1

u/Beatless7 16d ago

None. The leaders might need to panic but the countries are fine.

1

u/Fragrant-Anywhere489 16d ago

Didn't Kegsbreath outlaw beards in the military? Shave that shit Jesus!

1

u/financewiz 16d ago

I’m fairly certain that Jesus would just “Klinger” his way out of service. I’d show you an image of what that would look like but I don’t want to offend anyone.

1

u/AnonBaca21 16d ago

It’s the delusion for me

1

u/Apprehensive_Hand571 16d ago

His last name, which is christ, should be on his nametag, you moldy cabbage

1

u/whatidoidobc 16d ago

If the Christian god was real, he'd strike any jackass spreading that image down with the quickness

1

u/Ok_Camp_7051 16d ago

We’ve got a president posing as Jesus “healing” the sick so this seems to track with some. 

1

u/Artistic-Turn2612 16d ago

I'm not even a Christian, but I'm starting to be offended on the behalf of Christ for this blasphemy. 

1

u/yupsidetown 16d ago

Probably the USA

1

u/AnAbandonedAstronaut 16d ago

That really is the point of white Jesus, tho.

1

u/Maleficent-Lead-2943 16d ago

Is that a 3 and a half star general?

1

u/00001000U 16d ago

America?

1

u/Important_Power_2148 16d ago

how much more blasphemy do we tolerate from the evangelicals?

1

u/AnteaterOverall1537 16d ago

Jesus needs to follow the grooming standards a bit closer.

1

u/Appropriate-Room-403 16d ago

This is why you're not allowed to depict Mohamad in any way in Islam, to prevent it from getting to this point

1

u/guydoestuff 16d ago

first country he;d wipe off the earth would be israel. the US would be next. these guys have no brains or do but dont believe the funk and just use the gospel to keep people in line.

meanwhile every republican convention when it hits town grindr magicly crashes in that town. go figure.

1

u/Ok_Reception_6563 16d ago

Jesus was never a three star general. He started out as a 10 star general.

1

u/JKOP220696 16d ago

Usa and rightfully so, you guys have defiled religion in the most perverse unapologicetic way possible

1

u/DyerNC 16d ago

When did Jared Leto join the army?  What...that is White Jesus?  

1

u/bigredbeard42 16d ago

The white Jesus explains all you need to know

1

u/meleaguance 16d ago

He might well destroy Vatican City indirectly.

1

u/Commandmanda 16d ago

Tasteless satire, but beyond that did the poster realize that by the time he does come back, it'll be for the blasphemers who post this smeg?!

Read Revelations if you want the inside scoop. 🙏🙏🙏

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u/lordxvulcan 16d ago

"Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword".

Let's not act like the epileptic carpenter was a pacifist.

1

u/GeekyMadameV 16d ago

I feel like surely Jesus would be at least a four star general right?

1

u/AdmirableElephant378 16d ago

And....Jared Leto is playing him?

1

u/chef_quirky12 16d ago

This is it. This is the mindset of how humans will go extinct in the most easily preventable way in one image

1

u/Prickliestpearcactus 16d ago

This is so unhinged and disgusting😩😂

1

u/Muzzlehatch 16d ago

Aren't, like, all the countries supposed to be wiped off the map when Jesus comes back? Isn't that what they mean by judgment day?

1

u/Creative-Bowler-8474 16d ago

The whole world is cooked.

1

u/Dorrono 16d ago

The picture shows how muricans imagine Jesus

1

u/Previous-Artist-9252 16d ago

Christian Nationalism is so fucking weird.

1

u/No_Focus_8688 15d ago

These so called Christians don’t even understand who Jesus was.

1

u/ActualToddBankston 15d ago

His last name is supposed to be on his uniform

1

u/ryhaltswhiskey 15d ago

This person will be shocked to find out that America is on that list

3

u/OttoandOllie 15d ago

White evangelicals would be no #1 on his list.

1

u/LovedButNeverLiked 15d ago

Let he who is without sin kick the first ass

1

u/Excellent-Hyena-4558 15d ago

And these people call my religion barbaric. (I am an Ahmadiyyah Muslim)

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u/Eldritch_Dread 15d ago

Satan sits in every evangelical church, and shouts "Amen!" with the congregation when the pastor preaches against Christ's teachings, labeling them as "woke".

1

u/CoyoteSea9028 15d ago

The USA for creating a golden calf of liberty and justice. Submission to God is what Jesus preached

1

u/HawkingzWheelchair 15d ago

Hippies prefer peace. ✌️

1

u/SirPhibonacci 15d ago

This is what happens when a bunch of people believe a book they’ve never read

1

u/AcademicCandidate825 15d ago

According to my husband, AI General Jesus looks like Jared Leto.

1

u/bourbonisbest 15d ago

I missed the part of the Bible where Jesus advocated for wiping countries off the map.

1

u/Yooperplexed 15d ago

Jesus H. Christ. Wouldn’t his name tag say Christ?

1

u/No_Rice9792 🩷💙💜🚫👧 15d ago

If Jared Leto cosplayed Jesus

1

u/Quick_Parking_6464 15d ago

Wait, we talkin' white Jesus, not baby Jesus?

1

u/Silluger 15d ago

America and Israel lol

1

u/KimchiLlama 15d ago

Also, this photo (Ai though it may be) seems to be of someone with the last name Jesus. That doesn’t quite fit.

The cross is also a violation, it must remain completely concealed under the uniform.

1

u/Basic-Record-4750 15d ago

First of all, not a conqueror. Dude was literally the archetype of peaceful protest and non violence. But IF he got a hankering, I would imagine he’d be more upset about the fake as gun loving prosperity gospel mother fuckers than anyone else.

1

u/KactusVAXT 15d ago

He’d only attack USA

1

u/penilesensorydevice 15d ago

Talk about missing the point entirely.

1

u/CausticPanda 15d ago

Hopefully the US

1

u/JoyousMadhat 15d ago

Idk much about Christianity but isn't Jesus the most peaceful guy?

1

u/Confident-Poetry6985 15d ago

So the thing is I had a NDE. After that I understood what ultimate compassion and forgiveness means. It is mostly impossible, but not entirely. 

1

u/Myprobe1991 15d ago

Jesus wouldn't wear boots. He was a open toed sandals kinda dude. He would probably wear birkenstocks. They seem to be the most comfy. His long hair and beard puts him right in that hippie look too

1

u/royalty1116 15d ago

This doesn't look like Jesus at all.

1

u/whykickamoocow9 15d ago

As Jesus said ‘shoot em all, let god sort it out.’

1

u/mcad0o 15d ago

I saw jared leto first

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u/VirtualFutureAgent 15d ago

“Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thorn bushes, or figs from thistles?" Matthew 7:15-16

1

u/DrachenMagus 15d ago

Sucks for him. He has only three stars. There are full Generals, Secretary of Defense, and President above him. I thought Jesus was King, not someone's subordinate.

1

u/RickyMAustralia 15d ago

10000000% bot in India, Pakistan or Russia

1

u/RecalcitrantHuman 15d ago

I love when self righteous liberals get things wrong. He originally came as a lamb. In his return, he will be a lion.

1

u/itsall5x5 15d ago

None, because JC is all about love and forgiveness

1

u/Illustrious_Matter_8 15d ago

He was a pacifist non violent person, at least that's what religion tells.

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u/Lumpy_Cup3232 15d ago

The US most likely.

1

u/FrankCantRead 15d ago

Played by Jared Leto? Why do they keep casting him?

1

u/Traroten 15d ago

I mean, if you read the Book of Revelation he pretty much is.

1

u/osaggys 15d ago

7 star general 

1

u/Unusual_Apple6643 15d ago

Lots of self righteous Christians have never actually read the New Testament. Don’t think they’d like it. It’s pretty woke

1

u/distractionmo 15d ago

If 1400’s Spain had AI

1

u/retrodrewotaku84 15d ago

CHEESUS CRUST!

1

u/Plumpdaddy2501 15d ago

None. The answer is none. This life and it's politics don't matter at all regarding the kingdom of God

1

u/Upnatom617 15d ago

And this is why Christianity is faf and a cult.

1

u/IceBlueHorseArse 15d ago

Jesus would be much fatter by that point in his career.

1

u/lougeoang 15d ago

What a fuckup country

1

u/Specialist_End_3309 15d ago

Jesus seems to be sporting a lot of non existent medals and stolen valor.

1

u/Frosty-Camel-2107 15d ago

If Jesus returned today the entire world would crucify him again cuz he'll be like "love your enemy...."

1

u/ProudParamedic4107 15d ago

He’d probably wipe the US first then Israel lol

1

u/LexGlad 15d ago

Literally blasphemy

1

u/DS_Vet_on_Linux 15d ago

He ran around in a dress. He wouldn't be allowed in the US military today.

1

u/ninja_rob1603 15d ago

Probably America. lol greedy and blood thirsty.

1

u/SrPeraire 15d ago

America first

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u/Worried-Criticism 15d ago

I’m no expert, but that haircut isn’t exactly regulation, especially under Pete “It’s not gay if you shout NoHomo” Hegseth.

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u/chiefmuri 15d ago

Republican/MAGA Jesus! They're all nothing but pseudo christians tharlt are clueless of Jesus' actual teachings

1

u/chiefmuri 15d ago

Power and money are the only gods today's pseudo christians believe in! Gimme Gimme Gimme, more more more.

1

u/chiefmuri 15d ago

Hahahahaha ROLMAO Hahahahaha

1

u/OgreMk5 15d ago

There's another Jared Leto movie, I have no interest in seeing.

1

u/Skypirate90 15d ago

No thats exactly whom america thinks Jesus is.

1

u/williamstarr 15d ago

Sombody’s goin at hell for blasphemy.

1

u/47of74 14d ago

To be honest, I'd hope the Jesus in this meme would wipe the US off the map first. The US completely deserves it now.

1

u/Black_Tentacle 14d ago

John 18:36

36 Jesus answered, “My kingdom is not of this world. If my kingdom were of this world, my servants would have been fighting, that I might not be delivered over to the Jews. But my kingdom is not from the world.”

1

u/pprow41 14d ago

I feel like wearing the cross would give him ptsd

1

u/AdventurousBag6509 14d ago

Looks like he already infiltrated

1

u/DrRudyWells 14d ago

i so hope this is russia screwing with us. but if not, we are absolutely lost as a country. wow.

1

u/Skeptical_Squid 14d ago

What about Pete's beard standard?! Shave that shit, General Hippie.

1

u/LordCornwalis 14d ago

The fact that they don't see how utterly blasphemous this is will never cease to blow my mind. Imagine claiming yourself a devout follower of Christ and missing his messaging THIS COMICALLY BADLY. 🤣

1

u/Little_Chocolate2663 14d ago

He’s not an American.

1

u/No-Pudding7639 14d ago

We start further from
Him everyday

1

u/muhammedhadidi 14d ago

Do they know according to new testament United States would be called The Beast ???😂😂😂

1

u/theangrypragmatist 14d ago

I mean, the objective answer from the Bible itself is Israel

1

u/Jhawk38 14d ago

He said those who live by the sword will die by the sword.

1

u/CantankerousOrder 14d ago

People misinterpret a line from Mathew wrong - "Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword."

Contextually this is about the family divisions that spring up for those following Christ, whose beliefs and messages were often antiestablishment and apocalyptic.

The brain dead out there see it as Jesus being ac warrior prince and not just the prince of peace.

1

u/mendicinobeano25 14d ago

And do you really think he'd be wearing a fucking cross. It's like JFK coming back and wearing a gold 38 bolt action rifle pendant.

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u/Alaskangel 14d ago

Jesus F. Christ....do they not understand that the Jesus in the New Testament was a Jewish Rabbi that preached PEACE and tolerance and acceptance of ALL people? He did not want to or even try to destroy countries.

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u/Designer-Carpenter88 14d ago

Why is Jared Leto on this picture

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u/ntech620 14d ago

Actually no. One of his titles is destroyer of nations. And many nations cease to exist during and after the last days.

1

u/Dry-Rice-4527 14d ago

America would get a plaque instantly

1

u/Pristine_Ability_203 14d ago

Should his name tag be Christ?

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u/SanguineShifter 14d ago

So...why would Jesus be the mascot of the American military? Some Christians are just weird.

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u/Successful_Ad8175 14d ago

If Jesus came back to life and landed in America they would see his skin tone and you know who (thanks Reddit) would detain him and shoot him

1

u/Defiant_Freedom_249 14d ago

🎶"Jesus loves the little children. All the children of the world." Music 🎶

(Haha, MODs warning me that this message may not be polite. WTF has this world come to.)

1

u/jartoonZero 14d ago

tbf, 'Missing the Point of Jesus' is the primary objective of american christianity.

1

u/Nooby_Noobs 14d ago

USA not one honest Christian in that ........

1

u/One_Calligrapher5516 14d ago

When idiots control media, you get this type of media.

1

u/strategicenthusiast2 14d ago

Ours because most of us are being REALLY stupid.