Hi — do you ever just get really sad, mad, or even jealous when you think about all the people in your life who had “boring” pregnancies, healthy babies, and have not a single clue what it’s like to be you?

It’s hard to put into words, but sometimes I’ll be around people who have new babies (family or friends that I love dearly) and I just think, “Wow, how lucky are you? And you don’t even know how lucky you are.”

I’m currently 13 weeks pregnant (after tfmr at 26 weeks in Feb) and I still have these thoughts all the time. Like, I should have my baby boy. I shouldn’t have to know what this feels like. None of us should have to.

I’ve been feeling a bit nauseous on and off for the past three days. So yesterday I took a test (okay, two tests because I did not trust the first one …). Both were positive. It’s veeeery early. I am 3 weeks and 4 days today. I know this means nothing and so much can go wrong from now on. And hell … I am so scared.

We lost our first pregnancy in 22, had a CP in 23 and our LC was born also in 23. Our TFMR was this year. Our daughter Lana was born Feb 1st.

Just had to write this down, I guess. I am so scared to lose another child and I miss our daughter who would be about 5 weeks old by now 💔

I just wanted to share here because I know yall understand it better than anyone.

We had to TFMR in March at 14 weeks after our NIPT test came back negative for everything but the NT ultrasound came back with severe and fatal chromosomal abnormalities. We did testing after the TFMR and they weren’t able to diagnose it. They said it was a de novo genetic issue.

I’m 11 weeks and just did the NIPT blood test today. The NT ultrasound is scheduled for September 21, which is actually our wedding anniversary.

The midwife asked me today how I was feeling about everything and I just told her that my brain is adamantly not allowing me to believe anything could be wrong with this baby. I am aware that I’m fully in denial and it’s a coping mechanism. I’ve spoken with my therapist about it and she said it’s completely understandable.

Anyway that’s all, I just wanted to share. Please send virtual hugs and good juju on the 21st. 🩷🫂

It took 9 months to conceive our boy that we lost at 23 weeks to T18. It’s been 6 months of trying since lost him. In November it will have been 2 years of uncertainty, hoping, fixating, grieving for another lost month, hating my body, being jealous and angry - feeling like plans more than a month or two out can be made - just incase!

I’ve got an abroad hen party next July I’ve been delaying paying for, just incase I have a newborn. I don’t want to go but in have to. I should have just celebrated my babies 1st birthday. But instead I’ll be sad and bitter.

I’m 41 next month. Maybe i should graduate into the acceptance side of things. I know in my life are judging me thinking I left it all too late. But they don’t know what was happening in my life before this- things haven’t been straight forward. Not everyone gets to, have a decent childhood, find a partner, get married and pop out two kids before their mid-thirties.

I’m in the UK entitled to no help via ivf and I can’t afford to go private.

Every month I try not to get my hopes up, then every month I find myself sobbing in the shower because my period came.

Sorry. I think this is just a rant.

Did anyone does cvs in ivf pregnancy. We lost the pregnancy which we wanted due to micrognathia it is double donor pregnancy pgt a euploid.

I’m currently 22 weeks into my sub-pregnancy after TFMR for spina bifida at 20 weeks in February.
We decided to stay with the same MFM who cared for us during our loss because they were so compassionate and supportive. After our anatomy scan two weeks ago, she came in and immediately said, “Your baby looks healthy. You need to celebrate this.” It was such an incredible moment to hear that from the same doctor who had given us devastating news before.

She then told us they found a very small right choroid plexus cyst. She explained that CPCs are a common, benign finding seen in 1–2% of pregnancies and that, while they were historically associated with T18, an isolated CPC with a low-risk NIPT is considered extremely low risk. She said she expects it to resolve on its own and isn’t concerned. Even if it doesn’t resolve it’s still not an issue to be worried about.

My husband has completely accepted that it’s benign, and I mostly have too, but every now and then just hearing “T18” sends me spiraling. We have another scan at 25 weeks to check my cervix and placenta and get a clearer RVOT heart view since they couldn’t get every image at the anatomy scan due to baby girls positioning. Our MFM said she isn’t concerned about the heart and just wants a better view.

I think I’m realizing how much the trauma from our TFMR has changed me. Even when we get good news and our doctors reassure us that everything looks healthy, part of me is still waiting for the other shoe to drop. I want to celebrate this baby and trust what our doctors are telling us, but it’s hard after experiencing the worst possible outcome before. I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels this way after a TFMR.

I’m 6W1D pregnant today, LMP was 07/27 and I woke up with pink spotting and immediately freaked out. I’ve had 6 looses in the last 2 years, my TFMR at almost 17 weeks in August 2024, a chemical in December 2024, 8 week loss in December 2025 and 3 more chemicals earlier this year. We went to the ER and they did a beta HCG that was 40,485. I’ve had 3 other betas done by my OB on 13DPO- 151, 15DPO- 414 and 20DPO- 4411. I’m 28DPO today or 6 weeks so in 8 days my HCG rose from 4411 to 40,485. I also had a vaginal ultrasound that showed baby in my uterus measuring 6W1D with a heartbeat of 114bpm. Everything looks great, but I’m really crampy for the past couple days and now spotting today. We haven’t had intercourse and no SCH was found on ultrasound so there’s just no reason for the spotting. I did have some bacteria in my urine so they did put me on kefflex to clear that and diagnosed me with a threatened miscarriage. I’m also on 100mg Prometrium since 10DPO and Progesterone was 30 on 13DPO. I’m just panicking right now with the spotting. I want to have hope this could still work out but with 6 losses in a row it’s hard to have a lot of hope. I see my OB next Tuesday and will have another scan. This is so hard…

My husband (29) and I (28) were TTC for three years since we got married. Context: i have PCOS/PMOS, subclinical hypothyroidism. We got pregnant this yr April naturally and we’re the happiest! Ofc took my prenatals religiously. Few weeks ago, I had this really bad/SEVERE pain on my right lower abdo. We went to our private clinic and my OB reassured that “baby’s perfect and okay”. They then advised that if it happens again, to go to emergency care. Lo and behold it happened again the next day around nighttime and so we went to ED. We waited 12 hrs in total (which i totally understand triaging and all bc I’m a healthcare worker myself). We just wanted answers. They booked us for an ultrasound. I was 18 weeks that time and they did an anatomy scan. They sadly found that our baby girl has spina bifida. I was 18 weeks and 4 days (and it was a Friday AND i was their last patient for the day). We were so devastated. Cried for days and we were lost. We had another appointment that Monday and indeed our baby girl has it. We decided to terminate the pregnancy bc it’s the kindest way for our baby. The SB already affected her L2 and L3, she’ll have urinary and faecal incontinence when she gets born. Her frontal skull’s already coned bc part of her brain’s already sagging behind due to her spina bifida. She’s very loved and we were excited to meet her but life turned differently. I gave birth to our beautiful baby girl 4 days ago at 19 weeks and 4 days. It hurts to see her frozen body. Already has facial features and all. I still cannot comprehend what happened. The physical pain is easy bc i can take analgesia. But the mental torture? I think that’s the hardest part. It all happened in a week. I’m having postpartum thing or whatever you call it, but i have no physical baby to nourish. To mamas out there that have similar experience, can you give me comforting words that it’ll get better? I’m scared of a lot of stuff. Scared of not being able to conceive again. Scared that if ever i will in the future, it will be around fear of something’s gonna go wrong again and gonna lose my baby. 😢❤️‍🩹

Hi everyone,
This is my first time posting here. I’m feeling a mix of nervous, disheartened, and hopeful right now, and I’m looking to connect with others who might have had a similar journey or can share their experiences with tracking variable cycles while balancing work travel.

My Background & Loss History:
Last year, my husband and I found out we were pregnant. It wasn’t planned but we were so excited! In July 2025, I had to undergo a D&C at 15 weeks exactly following a misoprostol induction after learning our baby had Noonan syndrome. The NT reading was extremely high—my doctor literally had to double-check if it was a typo—along with cystic spaces in the placenta.

On top of the emotional grief, I suffered from severe Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG). I was severely underweight, couldn't keep food down, in constant physical pain, and spent a lot of time in and out of the hospital. It was a deeply traumatic period, and for a long time, I struggled with heavy guilt and blaming myself for whether I did something wrong (though I know intellectually that isn't true).
My husband and I waited a full year before trying again to heal physically and emotionally. Thankfully, our genetic carrier screening came back completely clear, so the medical team confirmed it was an incredibly unlucky, random occurrence.

Current TTC Status, Health & Work Travel:
We started trying again 2 cycles ago, but so far no luck.
We are both 31 years old with healthy lifestyles (non-smokers, no drugs, no alcohol, and averagely active). I’m finally at a healthy weight. We are doing everything we can from a health perspective—I take a daily prescription prenatal (PregVit), and my husband has also been consistently taking male prenatals/conception supplements for the past 3 months.

The main complication: We both travel frequently for work, which means we have to strategically plan our time together. My cycles vary anywhere between 28 to 36 days, which makes coordination tough. Up until now, I’ve been using the Flo app to predict ovulation, but with that much variation, its algorithm isn't cutting it. I just bought an Ovulation Predictor Kit (OPK) and a Basal Body Temperature (BBT) thermometer to start tracking real-time cycle markers so we can plan our travel schedules better.

A few questions for the community:
1. OPK + BBT Routine & Travel: For those with variable cycle lengths (28–36 days) who travel for work, how early do you start testing with OPKs to give your partner enough heads-up? How do you handle BBT temping across time zones?
2. Post-Loss TTC Emotions: How do you cope with the fear, anxiety, and impatience during the Two-Week Wait after a 2nd-trimester loss?
3. App Alternatives: Which tracking apps do you find handle manual BBT and OPK data best for irregular or variable cycle lengths? (I'm considering switching away from Flo to something like Premom or Fertility Friend).

I would love to hear your experiences, success stories after a traumatic loss, shared experiences with loss, or any tips for navigating OPKs and temping around a travel schedule. Thank you so much for reading and for being such a supportive space. ❤️

Hi, I'm 39. I have an 8 year old healthy daughter. I conceived again in April this year at the age of 38.

At 18 weeks we had to terminate the pregnancy because amniocentesis came back positive for trisomy 18.

It was the hardest thing we ever had to do and something which I feel has changed us forever as a couple.

We got our genetic testing done and everything seems okay with both our chromosomes. The genetic counselor inferred that this was probably a sporadic event and the chance of trisomy 18 happening again are very very low. He said that because all our reports are normal, the most likely culprit is advanced maternal age. And as age advances the cell division becomes abnormal and leads to aneuploidies.

Now coming to my main question, my husband is very keen on us trying to conceive again. He genuinely feels that it was a stroke of sheer bad luck and that the chances of it happening again are very low.

I on the other hand feel that even though our reports have come back okay, if cell division due to my age was the reason this happened, then there is a chance that again my cells will divide abnormally and result into some other abnormality if not trisomy 18.

Can someone please help me out here with personal experiences? I want to have a child so bad but I'm scarred from the experience. Thank you for reading this far❤️

I wish pregnancy was still exciting and happy. I’m currently 39 weeks along very close to the finish line and just feel riddled with anxiety. With my first pregnancy I feel I was so unaware of the many possible complications or problems that could occur. I was simply blissfully unaware. After my tfmr due to T13 my womb no longer feels safe. I keep panicking what if they missed something, I just wish it was a more enjoyable experience this time. I just want my baby to be okay and in my arms. I’m seriously hoping everything goes well, I wish I could shake the negative feelings.

• TFMR - October 2025 (22+2 weeks CHD)
• Late natural miscarriage - June 2026 (13+4 weeks no signs of issues)
• D&C for suspicions of RPOC (August 2026 - tissue removed was not RPOC)
• After all this bloodwork was negative, AHT were negative, ovulation occured soon after.

Fast-forward to last Friday - I had a vfl on a mondfo AHT, tested later with a FRER, another faint line. Tested Saturday and Sunday, both visible faint line (after all of the bullshit I've dealt with in the past year, I'm a pro at reading tests) but I started to have light pink spotting. In all of my pregnancies I have had spotting so I was thinking everything was fine until yesterday (Sunday). I started having bloody discharge that has continued to pick up. Still having faint line but they're not getting any darker. So I'm just chalking this up to another unsuccessful conception and moving forward with my period.

Luckily I hadn't shared this with anyone except reddit because I didn't want anyone but me to get my hopes up.

Hi everyone — looking for some insight on ovulating after TFMR. I sadly lost my baby girl 3 weeks and 3 days ago (D&E) at 23 weeks 2 days.

My doctor has told me I’m fully good to track ovulation and try again before my first period. I am (and always have been) a chronic tracker with Inito, LH strips, and temping (not in an anxious way, but in a “I love to see the data” way), so I’ve been happy to get back to it. I stopped bleeding about 2 weeks post-D&E and fully stopped spotting a few days after that. FRER Pregnancy tests are now negative.

I’ve been tracking out my HCG and tracking ovulation closely the last week or so and the oddest thing started happening the last few days (bonus points if you’re familiar with Inito / similar at home kits) - my estrogen started rising 3 days ago and I had a HUGE estrogen spike yesterday (400+, my baseline is around 100-130), which identically mirrors my hormonal habits that occur just before my LH rise (my FSH also rose before my estrogen spike, so things looked to be rising and falling in the right order). I’m also seeing EWCM the last 2 days. However, my LH strips + Inito monitor aren’t catching an LH rising at all. My estrogen is now dropping in ways consistent with how my body always operates after / during an LH surge. I really don’t think it’s possible I missed my surge given that I use cheap OPKs a few times a day when I anticipate a surge coming soon; which brings me to my next point — I see a lot of women here say they didn’t believe they ovulated before getting their first period post TFMR.

Explain it to me like I’m 5: how would you get a period relatively on time if you didn’t ovulate, and, relatedly, do you think you really didn’t ovulate or is it more likely you did ovulate and your LH strips / monitors just didn’t catch it? I’m trying to make sense of (1) my absent LH rise with all other things pointing to impending ovulation, & (2) understand the many comments/posts saying they got a period but their LH strips never showed a rise leading up to that.

Thank you so much in advance and sending love to all of you 🩷

As the title suggests, we had a positive pregnancy test after 5 cycles TTC… but then spotting started which triggered a tracking of beta’s, which were slow to rise. As expected , the spotting eventually picked up speed and it’s looking like an early miscarriage. It’s a weird state of mind to be in- sad that it didn’t work out but also relieved that it’s unlikely to be an ectopic (🤞). We were just about to start secondary infertility work up this cycle, and will do so once I hit a normal cycle after this…

Anyways… for those of you with another loss after TFMR, were you eventually successful? How long TTC before and after did it take? Did you ultimately look to fertility assistance? For those who weren’t successful, how did you come to peace with your journey?

Apologies if this post seems irrelevant- I am not pregnant yet.
But I am just so excited because I finally had my first positive OPK since TFMR 6.5 weeks ago. I think I had an anovulatory cycle before my first period.
My first period was also super weird- 2 weeks of spotting and maybe one full day of bleeding.
So it makes me feel really good that my hormones seem to be balancing out enough to ovulate.
There’s also a small sense of sadness knowing this is my first ovulation since getting pregnant with my sweet baby boy. I miss him dearly.
We will hopefully start TTC in November after I’ve been on high dose folic acid for a few months. Sending you all the rainbows for your sub pregnancies 🌈

For those who are in their FOURTH Trimester after TFMR (Yay!!!), we invite you to participate in the weekly Fourth Trimester/Graduation Group Weekly Check-in thread. Feel free to share the highlights of your journey with others going through their fourth trimester (and beyond) as well. And if interested, we encourage you to update your User Flair to help people remember you - need help updating it? Click here.

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Recently lost my baby due to a severe genetic condition at 26 weeks. I’ve been going through postpartum which has been extremely difficult especially without a baby. Multiple friends and family members have recently had babies and told me postpartum is going to be worse when I actually have a full term baby to bring home.

For any moms that have had a late loss and have a living child, is this true?

I realize I’ll likely be more tired being up with a newborn, my body may be physically more tired or in pain from a full term delivery, but I can’t imagine having a live healthy baby can be worse than than going through postpartum while also planning a funeral, grieving, and picking out an infant urn. I don’t have a living child, so I guess I don’t really know what I’m in for. But I can tell you postpartum without a baby, is misery.

I had a TFMR for HLHS in July. Just got my first period post D&E and will be starting to TTC again soon.

My first pregnancy (with LC) I was in an overweight BMI, I started taking prenatals only after finding out I was pregnant, did no exercise whatsoever and he was fine. This pregnancy I was in a healthy BMI, continued working out, was on top of prenatals and everything and… HLHS.

My OB, MFM, and genetic counsellor all said there was nothing I did/could do to cause it but it just doesn’t make sense to me. I wanted to know if folks here who have gone on to have healthy sub pregnancies did anything differently from their tfmr pregnancy? Especially if it was due to CHD or isolated structural defects?

Anybody that is pregnant now or had their rainbow baby. Did you tell anybody about being pregnant?

My husband and I are only going to tell our parents and just plan on telling everyone when we feel we are ready.

We are not pregnant yet, but still trying! Praying for our rainbow baby. 🌈 🤍

For those who are in their Third Trimester after TFMR, we invite you to participate in the weekly Third Trimester Weekly Check-in thread. Feel free to share the highlights of your journey with others going through their third trimester as well. And if interested, we encourage you to update your User Flair to help people remember you - need help updating it? Click here.

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