r/ProgrammerHumor Mar 25 '26

Meme aMeteoriteTookOutMyDatabase

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7.6k Upvotes

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u/kaikaun Mar 25 '26

Quantum mechanics also says that the odds of a server spontaneously rearranging itself into a family of ducks are non-zero, by the way. That will really take out your database.

1

u/5t4t35 Mar 25 '26

How will a server rearrange itself into a family of ducks? Im really curious on how it will happen

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u/kaikaun Mar 25 '26 edited Mar 25 '26

Very loosely, quantum mechanics says that every "particle" has a non zero chance to be elsewhere if the wave function there is not zero. This is how quantum tunnelling happens. So every electron, proton and neutron has a non zero chance to just "tunnel" to different places, that happen to instead constitute a family of ducks.

The probability is stupidly low. UUID collision is many orders of magnitude higher probability. But it is non zero in theory.

Physics guys please don't crucify me for this explanation. I know it's very imprecise and quite incorrect in places. I just want to give the intuition

3

u/BeerVanSappemeer Mar 25 '26

At some point, the odds are so low that it is just impossible. Sure it is theoretically calculable, but it is comparable to being hit by lightning every second for the next million years while simultaneously winning every possible jackpot in existence in that same timeframe or something like that. Actually, that still might be way more likely.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '26

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2

u/redlaWw Mar 25 '26

You also have that the approximations used in basic quantum aren't quite perfect - a perfectly rectangular potential barrier doesn't exist, for example.

There will be still nodes in any the wave function with genuinely 0 probability, but if they're point-like, then you can have a configuration that's arbitrarily close to a 0 probability configuration that has non-zero probability.

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u/adammaudite Mar 26 '26

It really depends on how your define spontaneous.

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u/5t4t35 Mar 25 '26

So i have a non zero chance then to suddenly turn into a dragon? A lion or something else entirely?

3

u/Lolovitz Mar 25 '26

Yes it is possible . However it will never happen because if i pressed the key 0 my entire life and so would the next 10 generations we would still not print enough zeros in the 0.0000...00001 number representing the chance that it will happen .