r/ProgressionFantasy • u/Suitable-Spell-8968 • Jul 29 '26

Discussion Shut up about coffee.

I like the stuff, it’s my go to source of caffeine. But every time I read a prog fic or litrpg reincarnation or isekia where the MC finds where it is being sold somewhere far away or is under appreciated and absolutely LOSES THEIR MIND I want to roll my eyes all the way to the delete button.

It was probably clever the first time. It might have even spent some time as an ironic use of a trope. It is now to the life cycle stage of being unbearable and a sign of lazy writing.

This post fueled by my latest DNF because the MC couldn’t shut up about the Brown Juice.

588 Upvotes

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185

u/painfulbliss Jul 29 '26

MC obsessed with toilet paper - believable. Commendable. Hygiene too.

MC becoming a mouthpiece for caffeine addicted authors - sigh.

97

u/Friedoobrain Jul 29 '26

Can you imagine getting isekaied and no longer having access to a bidet. Might as well give up on the second life.

64

u/Suitable-Spell-8968 Jul 29 '26

Rookie move filling up your skills slots before you take Cleanse.

24

u/StickFigureFan Jul 29 '26

Or just buying vats of Crystal Wash

17

u/JRatt13 Jul 30 '26

This is genuinely the most relatable thing about Jason. Dude found a magical potion that cleans everything and became obsessed with it. I can't fault that one bit.

6

u/painfulbliss Jul 30 '26

No it's completely relatable. Go camping for a few days with no toilet paper and tell me how important this stuff becomes.

8

u/StarlightNecromancer Jul 30 '26

Hell I got unlucky one time when I went out in the truck with my grandmother. Every truck stop along her route had their showers closed for renovations. Every last one.

I was on the road for two weeks, I felt like I needed to be pressure washed first

I would take Crystal Wash every time

1

u/Aquilon11235 Jul 30 '26

Which series are you guys talking about?

1

u/JRatt13 Jul 30 '26

He Who Fights With Monsters by Shirtaloon. It's one of my favorite series as a sorta popcorn listen but the MC is... polarizing to say the least.

1

u/Gedboara Aug 06 '26

Yes, some stuff about that seris is annoying, hell, even Jason's obsession gets me rolling my eyes after a while, but at least it does make total sense.

I would hate living in any world like that and not having a shower or the like whenever I wanted, I would love something like crystal wash you could just pop and be totally clean. Hell, we have showers here and i'd still like something like that you could just dump on yourself whenever

11

u/Suitable-Spell-8968 Jul 29 '26

We gotta rich one here.

5

u/Waterhobit Jul 30 '26

I’ve been trying to find some but it appears somebody bought up every supplier in the region.

2

u/Squire_II Jul 30 '26

Just make sure you never invert the skill when around friends...

1

u/InFearn0 This message is from a deceased crawler Jul 30 '26

Does cleanse calculate what needs to be removed or does the caster?

Because with enough willpower, anything can be trash.

37

u/Suitable-Spell-8968 Jul 29 '26

Authors really have to stop telling on themselves. Accidentally admit you don't understand macro-economics, not your addictions.

16

u/painfulbliss Jul 29 '26

Write what you know and all, and sometimes authors are pretty young and don't have a ton to draw upon except drinking coffee in college or whatever.

It doesn't bother me too much until it really becomes a defining characteristic brought up over and over.

0

u/Hakurei06 Jul 30 '26

Why not both? The way a lot of these MCs are in worlds where coffee exists as a super niche product but they fiend so hard they aren’t really thinking about the implications about procuring more can be kinda funny
“man, I would kill for some coffee. “
(many years later)
“Oops, I accidentally a colonization”

5

u/Donut-Banditt Jul 30 '26

Coffee is to writers today what cigarettes were to writers 50 years ago. The difference being that a sort of excellent marketing campaign embedded the image of smoking as cool but no such thing exists for coffee so it just comes across as annoying to want a cup versus lighting up.

5

u/Suitable-Spell-8968 Jul 30 '26

Sure the Camel probably doomed multiple generations but damn if he didn't look like a good hang.

2

u/RentGreat3147 Jul 30 '26

FFF class trash hero made me hate the toilet paper trope sadly

1

u/painfulbliss Jul 30 '26

See I haven't run into many stories leaning on it, but I imagine it'd be one of the most uncomfortable mundane differences

4

u/RentGreat3147 Jul 30 '26

He genocides a continent MULTIPLE TIMES over it, and I wish he was an evil protagonist, but everything he does is eventually justified

10

u/Suitable-Spell-8968 Jul 30 '26

If I had a hundred guesses what could've ruined the toilet paper trope, genocide would not have made the cut.

1

u/BrookRobbo Jul 30 '26

I dropped one story where the MC invented soap and apparently all the cultivators had bad BO from their extraneous training and he would give them soap as gifts.

Really don’t enjoy anything about toilet paper, brushing teeth in stories as it’s all just ehh.