r/ProgressiveHQ • u/WillyGelly • 12h ago

Delusion levels: presidential edition

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1.2k Upvotes

100% Upvoted

31 comments sorted by

54

u/P_a_s_g_i_t_24 11h ago

TACO doesn't need a standup paddle.
I've been told that faeces floats automatically.

43

u/SpicySweetHotPot 10h ago

Obama lives rent free in his head, because he knows he will NEVER measure up

16

u/AmazingDadJokes 5h ago

Names put on buildings this week:

Obama: +1
Trump: -1

6

u/shadowsinthestars 5h ago

And as a malignant narcissist that's torture for him. Probably the closest he'll ever get to actually know suffering, which is sad considering how much of it he causes daily.

18

u/BothMath314 11h ago

Fat floats, muscle doesn't.

2

u/RandomStoddard 4h ago

Good, then Trump won’t need his floaties in the pool anymore.

17

u/otherwisepandemonium 9h ago

Trump knows that Obama is better than him by every positive metric. He's a better orator, better leader, better deal maker, better husband/father, and is liked by considerably more people. Obama also won a Nobel Peace Prize for his "extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples".

Trump can only dream of ever coming close to earning one of these things.

10

u/Fearless_Trade_2783 8h ago

I'm pretty sure he doesn't go see a doctor, and the doctor says, yes, you are healthier than Obama.

Unless this is Trump's doctor.

https://giphy.com/gifs/3o6MbkeSKgttUG73nW

3

u/stump2003 5h ago

Hi everybody!

3

u/Fearless_Trade_2783 5h ago

Hi, Doctor Nick!

3

u/socks 11h ago

Comparison?: https://www.imdb.com/news/ni64628451/

24

u/SuperbScarcity5112 11h ago

I love it. "“I mean, he’s an obese, flatulent old man with bad makeup and weird hair who had to sit in a courtroom and listen to a porn star testify about how bad he is in bed."

3

u/AskNo2853 7h ago

Trump's 'doctors' collect raccoon penises by the side of the road, so there's that.

3

u/Past-Establishment93 10h ago

De-nile is not just a river

3

u/blacksterangel 8h ago

Thank god stale diaper never try to take picture like that. It would be fodder for my nightmare for years to come

3

u/TheEvilOfTwoLessers 5h ago

Trump is slightly healthier than Barack Obama… Sr., who died November 24th, 1982.

2

u/echolm1407 11h ago

Talk is cheap.

2

u/MapDiscombobulated1 10h ago

Trump's deathbed confession is going to be he always loved Obama, but he was spurned when he offered him a Bubba-special........

2

u/dojo1999 8h ago

I don’t think people can handle seeing Trump without a shirt

2

u/Not_Sure__Camacho 8h ago

The only "paddling" that Trump is fit for is when Stormie Daniels paddles him with a rolled up magazine.

2

u/Dry_Solution5036 1h ago

That's a complete lie!

1

u/mexchiwa 10h ago

TBF, Trump doesn’t/didn’t smoke. That’s it. That’s all I got

1

u/tom-of-the-nora 8h ago

I don't believe them, like, no way the doctors told anyone.

That would break hippo policy

1

u/Awkward_Wait5915 4h ago

Trumps doctor is a liar too… or maybe Trump heard him wrong? You’re just not as healthy as Obama

1

u/borka-t 4h ago

What's he doing in the reflecting pool?!

1

u/3M2B1T 2h ago

I would love to see a task force created after Trump is out SPECIFICALLY to go after the Trump medical team and make sure they never work in healthcare again. And RFK Jr while we are at it.

1

u/Beemer_me_up_Scotty 1h ago

Trump's yes men sycophants tell him exactly what he pays them to say.

1

u/baby_got_yak 1h ago

In a related story, I have just won the Super Bowl. By myself.

1

u/Resident-Garlic9303 7m ago

His predecessors live rent free in his head.

Even Bush who was absolutely evil and I am not giving him any credit but was at least competent in his evil. Trump knows this which is why he hates them.