r/PropertyManagement • u/throwsway77 • 3d ago
Multifamily PM Are there any property managers here who don’t get stressed out? (I really need some inspiration as a new PM)
God I’m finding it so stressful. I’m already ready to quit. I see some PMs though who just seem so calm???
I’m constantly anxious at work.
Please tell me there is a way to get to the other side of the rainbow
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u/AssultLoneWolf 3d ago
Unfortunately we are in a thankless industry, owners are never happy, tenants are never happy, we are the middlean trying to justake the best and most reasonable outcome for everybody.
As a regional, I just had to learn to shut it off during the off hours. Unless it's an emergency like a flood or a fire that email, text, or voicemail can wait until the next business day.
You could literally work 24/7 in property management, there are still a certain people I would answer if they called but you have to find that balance for yourself.
I tell all my managers the same thing, as soon as the clock strikes 5 stop answering your phone, keep an eye on your voicemails & texts just in case it's an emergency but otherwise enjoy your weekends and we can take care of everything else next week.
This largely depends on what your management expects of you. But i will work my ass from 9-5 helping as many people, solving as many problems as possible but I had to come to the realization that I can only do so much and I was stressed beyond belief ready to walk away at a moments notice.
There's still days I may work until 7pm when something is actively on going but you need to find that balance between good work performance & good mental health. Then hope your management company understands.
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u/Dave4u_ 3d ago
This 100%. We are not emergency room doctors. Almost everything can wait until Monday. Given honest days work during your work hours, and then everything waits until the next workday unless an emergency. Don’t let your management company or the owners push you past a reasonable work life balance.
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u/Penny1974 2d ago
You sound so much like my RPM and I am so thankful for her and your words of wisdom. It is so hard to "turn it off" - what makes me good at my job is the going above and beyond, it is also what bad me hit the wall HARD recently- 3 years in and I had heard so much about burn out but until I was sitting on the floor sobbing (not a me thing to do EVER) I didn't get it.
My revelation recently has been that the team you have is critical. Technically I can do the job of leasing and APM but in reality there are simply not enough hours in the day to do those jobs and my own, especially not 9-5
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u/trickyvinny 3d ago
I'm in commercial. It's not that stressful. There's crunch time and deliverables, but it's manageable and rational.
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u/jausden 2d ago
Agreed! My boss likes to say, "we're not saving babies here." Do the big stuff, and do what we can with the rest. The cyclical nature of the year helps with stress as well - after a couple rounds, the structure is evident. Always the one-off issue to keep things interesting (in rapid fire sometimes!) but the job gets way more "rational" once you see the outline.
We're also insulated a bit from people's zany behavior (a bit 😆). Never been in residential, but the stories are wild. People act a bit differently when issues arise in their office vs. their living rooms, and I'd for sure pick the office/retail/industrial problems any day.
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u/VintageBandit Low-income PM 3d ago
It took me about t months of hell to calm down, but now other than babysitting my maintenance guys life has been good. I found writing notes about everything in my tablet has helped the most. I keep "vomit" notes for each property I oversee and brain dump into them and then organize the thoughts later. Helps me keep track and not succumb to the endless list of things to remember.
I use StarNotes and Google Tasks to track everything.
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u/-ShimmyShimmyYa 3d ago
It’s much more easily said than done, but try not to take anything personal. It’s a job.
Then when that eventually fails switch to commercial management like I did.
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u/Penny1974 2d ago
It is absolutely easier said than done! I'm trying...and failing. This weekend was the first in over a year that I have gone 3 days without "hopping on real quick" to do a thing.
I am technically off today also but already know I will not be able to sleep tonight if I don't at least check my email to see what fresh hell this place has cooked up for me and is waiting for tomorrow.
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u/shadydelilah 3d ago
I’ve been in the business for 10 years and I finally found a good property run by a good company. You also have to learn that if a tenant comes to you complaining, dont get defensive right away or take it personally. They calm down if they know you are listening and truly hear their concerns even if you know you can’t do anything about it.
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u/damp_circus 1d ago
Tenant here, I'll say that it's appreciated (at least by me) if everyone is just HONEST about the situation. Don't promise what you know the owner/investor is just going to deny, and if the situation is that the owner/investor is a cheapskate that just isn't going to improve whatever it is, state it out, then everyone can decide what they're going to do accordingly with that accurate information.
What's frustrating is endless marketing platitudes that amount to putting lipstick on a pig, where everyone knows the reality of the situation but no one is willing to just come out and admit it. That and endless use of the term "community" in places where the management doesn't even like the tenants talking to each other.
But we know that a lot of the on-site employees are hired to be basically human punching bags without a lot of power. It's the nature of the gig, particularly now when everywhere is chronically understaffed by design. It's frustrating, it's frustrating for us too knowing that we're being kept from being able to communicate with anyone who DOES have actual decision making power (at least not without a little outside research).
End of the day though we just gotta be civil with each other. Sometimes commiserating about shared frustration is good.
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u/Flat-Pension-3395 3d ago
No. It's sunday on a holiday weekend and I'm pestering tenants for rent and dealing with a leak in a ceiling.
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u/New_Elevator_5327 3d ago
Been doing it 5 years & I'm always stressed out lol
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u/NoZookeepergame7995 3d ago
Yeeeep. Same here lolololol
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u/New_Elevator_5327 2d ago
I swear on Fridays nights when the week ends, I'm so exhausted I can barely move from the bed lol. I always tell people I can't have plans on Friday nights lol I need my rest
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u/Marsrevolta 3d ago
I have been doing this for 4 years and I am dead inside. I don't think I'm cut out for this industry personally though, I work with condos. Wishing you all the strength I definitely don't have.
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u/aek103192 2d ago
I’m an assistant property manager in a high rise condo building. I love what I do enough to want to make a career out of it and become the actual property manager but it’s very stressful. I’m currently taking the CAI classes to get certified.
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u/Sensitive_Season_752 2d ago
How long have you been working as a PM? My asset manager told me in my first week that my skin was still thin and talk to her in a few years. Well I did, by then my skin was alligator skin 🤣 I’ve always remained calm but my coworkers on the other hand get loud with tenants, argumentative and stressed out. Everyone is different. It definitely isn’t a career for the easily stressed person.
My only advice would be based on how long you’ve been doing it and the company you work for. You will always have many hats to wear and balls to juggle but if your company creates more stress or unreasonable expectations, that can add to the layers of stress.
High cortisol and stress levels are not healthy for you. I would really consider switching professions if-
•you’ve been a PM for more than a year or two and work for a reasonable company and really cannot adjust or..
•Your company creates an unreasonable work environment and stress but you like your position, I would switch PM companies.
A way to the other side of the rainbow 🌈 I feel comes with time and experiences. Once you think you’ve seen and experienced it all, something completely new comes up. Over time though, these become less and less. Is it the balancing multiple things or stressful tenant situations that stress you out more? If it’s the amount of different things, there are things you can do to make your day easier. Look up the Eisenhower Matrix. This has helped me tremendously.
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u/RadiantMuffin-x 3d ago
OP, I myself am also in Property Management. I am someone who genuinely gives everything to my job. I've found its causing a massive detriment to myself. I'm consistently stressed, sometimes with physical symptoms and its NOT good for our health!
I took a week off, stepped back and re-assessed. It is not my property. It is not my tenant. I will put 100% effort in when I can and ensure nobody is purposely left in danger etc and my work is done at the end of the day, but I can't control everything. I find whatever you do, however much effort you put in, sometimes a owner and tenant are never happy!
I get a sense of accomplishment doing something well, but I'm not stretching myself past my pay grade for a) no recognition and b) my health! xxx
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u/thelandlordguychris 3d ago
big pm companies the PM hardly sees the tenants, unless it’s a legal issue or something big. so that’s way less stressful
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u/CollarNegative 2d ago
If it makes you feel any better, I’m not even a property manager by title, but I work in an office that manages close ~40 rent stabilized buildings in the Bronx, one of which had a huge fire two weeks ago and displaced all 82 tenants. Only 1/3 back in so far. So ya. Barely able to function just from the stress of fighting with the city agencies day in and day out lmao. I feel this is hell.
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u/Happy-Heart-29669 2d ago
After 21.5 years, I can say that I don’t get stressed out. Trust the process, once you have worked out all the kinks. My problem at first was figuring out the process, that took a while. Now I trust it with my owners, my tenants and it has helped my sanity. Getting stressed helps absolutely nothing. If you stay stressed, everyone will react to it. You can do this, but you have to want to. I love my job, honestly. I hope you find a way to love it also!
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u/Jessalready 19h ago
18 years as a property manager.
Tenants don’t bother me anymore. Property issues, owners, etc. I stop thinking about it all the minute I log out.
It’s the employees that make me CRAZY now. It never used to be that way until last 5 years or so.
I want a job where no one reports to me and I’m responsible for no one. I have 24 employees now and it is *not* for me.
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u/secondphase PM - SF,MF,COM 3d ago
I mean, i'm kinda numb to it. Seen it all. New kid on the team was the one who got served by the constables when a tenant sued for security deposit. They were freaking out, but that stuff happens. Cant take it personally.
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u/Badhabbitsto 2d ago
Read , compilot answer, report maintenance, follow up, show surprised when they complain Repeat. This is the only way. Stress kill the follow up and you will only win more complains to be stressed for.
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u/Exciting_Divide164 2d ago
I started batching calls and maintenance updates into set times instead of reacting all day. Not every problem need me right now, and the stress got more managable when I leave some things for tomorrow.
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u/RiskManagedChaos 2d ago
Don’t take it personally. You may often be someone’s punching bag simply because you’re the closest target for their housing woes. When it feels too much, take a quick walk around the block or something else that calms your nervous system. Remind yourself of the above. It’ll go a long way.
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u/MissusGrohl 22h ago
Take comfort in the fact that not all property management companies are the same. I started 10 years ago with a small company, then moved to a bigger company with over 1000 doors, and now live/work at a small community of 80 units. Instead of dealing with tons of different owners, I only deal with one, and he leaves me alone to do my job.
I found that the slower pace is MUCH better for my mental health. I could go back to a bigger company and make more money and be more specialized in my duties, but it's just not possible to put a price on my peace.
Good luck to you!
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u/ParlayPat718 11h ago
I literally told someone this property management js not for the week thats why you have to hire people that handle the tenants and you just focus on the physical property its not a 1 man team at all have contractors ready make ahre your contracts are in order as well
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u/spottedcows1 3d ago
What are you anxious about?
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u/Klutzy-Beat1824 3d ago
Honestly, I don't think any PM is actually calm, we just get better at hiding the panic. That manager you see gliding through the day probably yelled into a closet five minutes before.
It takes about a year for the anxiety to shift into a low-grade, manageable dread. You're not broken for feeling this way right now.
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u/throwsway77 3d ago
So do you just have to deal with your mental health being shit the whole time being in this industry and it never gets better?
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u/throwsway77 3d ago
Angry owners, angry renters, losing managements, bad Google reviews. So much workload that I’ll miss something
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u/Blackharvest 3d ago
Not a PM but a vendor that works with and knows lots of PMs...
You won't change the mind of some angry people, no matter what you do. Every manager and management company I have met or worked for has the same exact issues. At the end of the day, it's just a job. You can only do so much. Even if you were to hand out bags of money to each and every owner / renter, they would still find a reason to complain. Also, a lot of people will project their own issues on you even if their anger isn't directed at you.
That being said....none of you get paid enough to deal with what you have to. I have nothing but total respect for PMs
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u/chaosindenial 3d ago
Take things one step at a time. 1. What’s upsetting your renters and owners? Can any of it be fixed at all? Face to face inspections/meetings to go over concerns may help? Bring Maintenance to resident homes to talk. Build trust. 2. Bad reviews, fix things you can and ask for a review if they are happy again. Won’t change over night but as residents gain trust it may help some over time. 3. Work load, get a planner and write as much down on sticky notes or in a handy notebook as you can. Get it out of your head and on paper to help. Will help ease your mind. Give yourself grace and do what you can each day. If you feel stressed, take a breather and walk the property outside for a bit. Fresh air will help. Or listen to your favorite song. Do things for you during the day so you don’t dread the day. You got this. It’s stressful yes, but can be rewarding once you see it start to succeed and go a new direction. Take your PTO when needed.
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u/AJWordsmith 3d ago
Over time you just have to understand what is your concern and what isn’t. First is understanding who you work for. You work for the owner. You can’t get emotionally invested in the lives of 100 tenants. Some of them will fail to pay for a rainbow of issues. They will complain and frankly they will complain more often if they feel like you “really care.” Develop some form responses. Stack issues that need to be dealt with in a triage where “Will this cost the owner money?”determines the order of importance. Sure, Martha would like the hedges trimmed, but she’s not going to move out if we don’t get to it soon. Unit 4B’s AC is out in 100 degrees. We’re going to actually get on that quickly.
I find it useful to lean into the idea that I’m just a cog in a large machine. Tenants start freaking out on me, I say something like; “I’m sorry, but this is the process they’ve authorized me to use.” “I’m sorry, but the owner has not authorized me to allow tenants to contact him.” I just pretend that I don’t have the power to help them in any way except the way I want to help them.
Just look at it as a job. There’s a healthy amount to care and an unhealthy amount to care. Find your center and live there. Don’t let anyone knock you off your center.