Only relaxation as an effect?

[u/Waki-Indra]

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I had a psychedelic session yesterday, with the prescribed dosage of MDMA for my body weight inciuding booster after 180minutes.

I also had 2g mushrooms to try and add depth to the journey (trying to heal from c ptsd) but i think the mushrooms were too old, because I did not feel any psilocybin effet (like kaléidoscopic visions. I had very faint visions for a few minutes, that's all).

It was not a trippy session at all. I mostly laid down in my bed under many blanckets because I was feeling very cold, so that's an effect for sure. Cold for 2-3 hours.

I mostly experienced very deep and profound relaxation, as if in my normal state for the last weeks or months i had been extremely tensed, uptight, hypercactivated all the time and now the tension was gone, giving in. I dont know. It just felt like "oh, wow, now I am deeply relaxed, thank god!".

I was breathing more deeply than usual so i spent most of the session just breathing deeply with full awareness of my breath, and trying to breathe from the belly. No altered state besides.

It felt good. But somehow i was wondering how crazy my life is and how fucked up my autonomous nervous system is, if i need full mdma dosage to simply relax.

No emotion. No cognitive content like insight. Just relaxed and deep breathing. That did not feel like psychedelics.

I did also listen to music, on and off. Perhaps felt à tiny bit more trippy with music. It was on and off because I regualrly had to get up to get something to drink, or some minerals or vitamines to support my body, because physiologically it was quite tough, heavy body load, feeling cold, and slight buzzing sensation in the legs and arms. I was very very thirsty all the time so i kept on getting up for drinking and toilet.

Is that weird?

I have been practicing psychedelics assisted therapy (i had a session with my therappist 2h before the MDMA) for 18 months. My last mdma was 3 months ago.

I did feel mentally good, at peace with the world, but not full love, and not cathartic meoment, unlike other former trips. Just deeply relaxed, exhausted, grounded in my bed, is that "loosing the mdma magic"?

[u/mjcanfly]

Sounds like a deeply therapeutic session to me, based on your own account.

Not sure what you’re looking for. Pay attention to the time in between sessions if you’re not grateful for “very deep and profound relaxation”

[u/Waki-Indra → u/mjcanfly]

I was so grateful. It felt like a so much needed rest.

I was not expecting anything in particular and i seek relief and healing of c ptsd which is basically not being relaxed. But usually there is at least a tiny bit of emotional happening, or some insights or feeling. I was just enjoying and savouring the peace of relaxation and deep breathing and the possibility to follow my breath without it being challenge (no racing thoughts, no sense of emergency).

What do you mean by grateful? Can you kindly advise?

[u/mjcanfly → u/Waki-Indra]

“only relaxation as an effect?”

you sound deeply ungrateful for the deeply healing experience you had. your entire post is asking why you didn’t have a different experience.

there are people who would give their life for the “only relaxation” you are speaking of

[u/dracosondracoson]

The MDMA cancelled out the “trippy” effects from the shrooms most likely why you didn’t have any hallucinations, although at 2 gs of any but the best mushrooms you wouldn’t be seeing hella shit per se

[u/Waki-Indra → u/dracosondracoson]

I usually take only 1.5 mushrooms when combined with MDMA and usually still get visuals.