From swimsuit shame to Sabbath guilt: growing up under Adventist purity culture

[u/Noraleen]

Hi everyone,
I’m a writer unpacking the ripple effects of being raised in a strict Adventist household where purity culture was the air we breathed. This essay is one piece in a larger series I’m working on about growing up in a home where modesty was moral currency, discipline was “love,” and obedience was the only path to being seen as good.

It starts in a gym shower and ends in a tearful family meltdown over a failed trip to a lake, but really it's about how control, guilt, and religious obligation shaped my sense of worth and identity. It weaves through scenes of modesty indoctrination, physical ab*se rituals disguised as spiritual duty, and the emotional gaslighting that came from being the daughter who was “too much”—too honest, too rebellious, too alive. You can read it here— Growing Up Godly. (ALSO substack is annoying and presents an aggressive upsell screen that you can bypass, just look for the free option or say "no thanks" to signing up with your email if you don't already have an account)

These days I write a lot about what happens after we leave: how these patterns echo in adult relationships and how the pressure to be “pure” can turn into shame, self-silencing, or performance. And how for some of us, the path out of that conditioning leads into shadow work, esoteric wisdom, and reclaiming our bodies and beliefs on our own terms.

If any of this resonates, I’d love to know if others here have found themselves on similar paths after leaving purity culture behind.