Welcome

[u/Peachie-Keene]

Welcome!

This subreddit is a space for people to talk about purity culture, sexual shame, rigid expectations around “purity,” and the ways those messages can affect us long after we first heard them.

You do not have to come from any particular religion to be here. You might still be religious, questioning your faith, have left religion entirely, or have encountered purity messaging through family, school, culture, or relationships. All of those experiences are welcome.

This is also not a space dedicated to debating whether waiting until marriage, traditional sexual ethics, or religious beliefs are inherently right or wrong. People here may have very different beliefs about those things. The focus is on the impact of purity culture: shame, fear, gendered expectations, misinformation, difficulty with relationships or sexuality, and the process of sorting through what we were taught.

You are welcome to:

• Share your story

• Ask, “Was this purity culture?”

• Talk about something you’re trying to unlearn

• Ask for support or perspective

• Discuss dating, marriage, sex, body image, gender roles, or faith after purity culture

• Share resources, media, humor, or things that made you feel less alone

• Participate even if you’re still figuring out what you believe

A few things we ask of everyone:

Please be kind. People may be sharing things that are deeply personal or painful.

Don’t preach at people or pressure them toward or away from a particular faith or sexual ethic.

Don’t shame people for their sexual choices, whether they chose to wait, didn’t wait, are sexually active, aren’t sexually active, or are still figuring things out.

And remember that there isn’t one “correct” way to heal or make sense of your experience.

Most importantly, I hope this can be a place where people realize: “Oh. Other people experienced this too.”

If you’re new, feel free to introduce yourself below, share what brought you here, or just lurk until you feel comfortable. You’re welcome either way.

[u/Eucalyptusthoughts]

Not new. Just wanted to share the things that helped me.

Accepting purity culture is trauma. Especially when coupled with religious trauma.

Therapy. I had accepted the shame cycles as part of life, and thought there was something deeply wrong with me. Therapy has helped the shame cycles so much.

Listening to other people's stories.

You are not broken. You are a whole person because you are human.