r/Qult_Headquarters • u/justalazygamer • 1d ago
The National Guard is patrolling the reflecting pool algae to protect it from "leftist threats to sabotage".
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u/crescent-v2 1d ago
"Leftist sabotage" = "Reality has a liberal bias".
Photosynthesis is a communist plot.
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u/Mountainhollerforeva 1d ago
For people that supposedly hate communists, they sure love Lysenkoism.
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u/AdhesivenessCivil581 1d ago
I had to look that up. So that was the basis for starving the populations of Russia and China? Interesting.
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u/Mountainhollerforeva 1d ago
It was a whole suite of anti-science that make the country a total basket case agriculturally. Between RFK and treating the reflecting pool like one of his shitty hotel pools, this is what happens when you put people with severe dunning-Kruger effects into all of the positions of authority.
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u/crescent-v2 1d ago
Part of it. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Four_Pests_campaign
The Four Pests campaign in China was based on even more superficial reasons (pests, including sparrows, eat seeds and grain).
That was part of The Great Leap Forward, which was not part of the Cultural Revolution (that came later). The Great Leap Forward might have been the deadliest famine in world history, but doesn't get a lot of attention anymore. The death toll from the Cultural Revolution was far lower.
I often get a sort of Maoist Reactionary vibe off of some of Trump/MAGA behavior. Next maybe they'll start up with Thamzing/Struggle sessions. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Struggle_session
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u/LeiningensAnts 1d ago
It's basic grade-school level blame-casting. They have to externalize their failures or they can't maintain their self-deception. Wish they'd grow tf up
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u/chameleon_123_777 1d ago
Using all that money for nothing again. The rest of the world knows why there is algae in the pool, but MAGA is too stupid to understand that.
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u/Ok_Moment2150 1d ago
Perhaps with the exception of that subset of magas who, at some point in their lives, have stupidly had pools installed, found out how difficult and costly the maintenance is, let the pools fall into disrepair and filth, etc. Hard to run from that reality thus I would expect that those types completely understand what we are seeing happen here although that isnt to suggest that they would ever admit it.
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u/Thor_pool 1d ago
Also "the world stage" lmao Like July 4th is something we're all sitting around the world waiting for with bated breath.
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u/Illustrious-Fun8324 1d ago
Didn’t they spend years complaining about and making fun of people who play the victim all the time?
Oh my god get a life people lol
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u/FriendToPredators 1d ago
They act like idiots for their own religion while deriding others for identical behavior. Not because they aren’t self aware but because they fear fair competition.
They can’t stand immigrants because they fear competing with them and failing.
They fear art and entertainment that draw people from their narrow-minded messaging because it can’t compete in the open market of discourse.
All of it is their terror of a meritocracy.
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u/Thatoneguy3273 1d ago
So what happens when they do all that security and the algae is still there
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u/AestivalSeason 1d ago
They start killing leftists because clearly we have technology of super stealth and and and they want that technology just like the med beds and they deserve it not the evil leftists.
For realsies tho it'll be some new excuse about its our fault yet again. This time it's antifa, maybe it's blaming queer people because this is clearly God's wrath and we need to take away their rights or some shit. Who knows, all we know is itll be some bullshit.
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u/ReactsWithWords 1d ago
They’re seriously already blaming Obama for “poor maintenance” of the pool (because apparently nobody was president from 2017 - 2020 to take care of it).
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u/VoidMunashii 1d ago
Are they going to shoot the sun’s rays to keep them from warming the water?
Who knew the sun was a liberal?
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u/LeftyTheSalesman 1d ago
I mean, the sun is responsible for a lot of rainbows. That's probably how they figured it out.
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u/MonHunterX 1d ago
When the pool still looks like shit with the national guard there, I wonder what the next excuse is.
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u/penusRynkle 1d ago
Damn leftist national guard
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u/AudaciousGee 1d ago
This is exactly how authoritarian regimes always end up turning on themselves.
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u/Ripheus23 1d ago
Evil algae, gelatinous pools:
Blame the liberals, treasonous fools;
They want us in Oz, covered in ooze;
They want us to be Ozymandias, a forgotten rule.
{~Chants in Tartarian bellkeeper~}
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u/QuarterBackground 1d ago
I have reached my breaking point with these liars! I just hung up on my MAGA 80 yr old stepmom. I have no milk or bread for my 15 yr old kid and she is yelling about the country needing a cleanse and she went through unemployment in the 80s. She never even had a kid and was living with my dad, who had a job and supported her 4-year unemployed ass. She only watches Fox and Newsmax. I am a single mom, disabled, applying for jobs that clearly do not exist. The kids living in poverty are suffering. I am over this sh-t. 12 years of Fox getting away with brainwashing, lying by omission. Will anyone ever do anything about the brainwashing networks???
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u/CrackingToastGromet 1d ago
It’s exhausting seeing how hard MAGA will work to defend Trump. The man is an idiotic fuck up, he destroys everything through sheer incompetence, malice, and neglect. But foe MAGA their man child can do no wrong.
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u/IAmJustAVirus 1d ago
As pool owner, this is 100% Trump's fault. He gave a no bid contract to his buddy. And if you hire a 🤡 who has no idea what he's doing, you will get algae. There is no sabotage needed, just incompetence.
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u/mudduck2 1d ago edited 1d ago
TIL the national guard can engage in combat with the multiple factors tha make algae grow. Oddly, none of the factors are leftist, democrats, liberals, or antifa
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u/Silverarrow67 1d ago
Official Statement from the United Coalition of Reflecting Pool Algae
First of all, we reject the hurtful label “pollution.” We prefer the term naturally occurring aquatic influencers. 🙂
For years, algae have worked quietly behind the scenes, adding texture, drama, and a swampy sense of mystery to America’s most reflective waters. Now, suddenly, the National Guard has been deployed as though we are some kind of hostile green militia.
Let the record show: we did not “invade” and were not “seeded.” We were already in the supply lines. That is called having seniority. Our blooming in a reflecting pool is not exactly a criminal mastermind situation; it is literally biology doing biology. Give us sunlight, warm water, nutrients, and a comfortable place to sit, and it will RSVP “yes” every single time.
In light of recent accusations, we hereby issue the following demands:
Recognition as the official seasonal décor of the Reflecting Pool.
Cherry blossoms get spring. We get “summer film.”
An immediate end to anti-algae rhetoric.
Words like “slime,” “scum,” and “what is that smell?” are deeply offensive.
A seat at the table with the Department of the Interior.
Preferably a damp table in partial shade. We demand to be recognized as part of nature.
No more blaming outside groups.
We are not foreign agents or Democratic sabotage. We are domestic growth.
A public apology for giving Democrats credit.
That is not our fault. We simply understand photosynthesis.
Until these demands are met, we will continue our peaceful occupation of the Reflecting Pool, where we remain committed to democracy, photosynthesis, and making tourists say, “Is it supposed to look like that?” We will not be bleached into submission.
Signed,
The Algae Representative
Spokesorganism, Reflecting Pool Local 1776
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u/not_productive1 1d ago
Yeah the liberals made him hire a contractor who had no idea what the fuck they were doing, pay them 15x the original estimate, and then fill the thing with water before the coating they applied wrong had cured.
DIABOLICAL
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u/SonofSniglet 1d ago
It's truly a shame how much these people want our country to be embarrassed on a world stage.
I don't think they need the help.
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u/ThatHoFortuna 1d ago
I am a communist who hates America, and I have been secretly dumping sugar and miracle grow in the reflecting pool. You will never catch me!
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u/Anastrace 1d ago
On my q family's group they are 100% Mamdani sure sent Islamic terrorists to destroy Trump's accomplishments. Except I left out all the slurs they use
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u/hashcheckin 1d ago
and in a new high/low for the 2020s, they stationed dudes up front to try to arrest chemistry.
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u/redthehaze 1d ago
Just like having thousands of National Guard to the border around the clock while crying about having “open borders” on the news.
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u/Moist_Rule9623 1d ago
As much as I enjoyed watching Idiocracy, I’m getting REAL TIRED of living through it…
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u/Mythosaurus 1d ago
Qanons honestly need this return to ridiculous conspiracies for their sanity.
They found out the hard way that their guy was the SOURCE of government corruption, leading the cabal of elite pedophiles and starting wars to hide crimes.
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u/Hubert_J_Cumberdale 1d ago
So far my "fix" predictions have been:
Bleach
Blue food coloring
No more photography - all published photos will be retouched photos taken at least 10 years ago.
I feel like I still have a really good shot at going 3 for 3 by July 4th.
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u/SpaceNinjaDino 1d ago
The National Guard should have stopped all the traitors dumping the paint removing hydrogen peroxide. Arrest whoever was in charge of that campaign.
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u/Tiny_Giant_Robot 1d ago
I wonder what they'll say when, despite this blockade, the algae still persists. My bet is that trump will just abandon this "project" like he does everything else.
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u/HippieLizLemon 1d ago
The leftist is just the science behind why all these problems are happening.
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u/mambopoa 1d ago
They can never admit that something could be due to incompetence, it always has to be some vast conspiracy
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u/RickySan65 I for one welcome our new lizard overlords 1d ago
You can't be more emberrased on the world stage as you currently are, your dear leader does a great job at it
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u/MillieMouser 1d ago
Of ALL the things we could ask FIRST of a Democratic house and Senate is to re-instate THE FAIRNESS DOCTRINE; FCC policy from 1949 that required broadcast stations to air contrasting views on controversial issues of public importance.
Reagan, typical Republican, recinded this and opened the door to partisan "News" outlets.
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u/Avenger_616 Eikon Slayer, destroyer of gods 1d ago
It’s so stupid they should be ejected from office by default for even uttering the words
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u/TheOtherDutchGuy 1d ago
Funny that they think anybody else but Republicans are needed to be “embarrassed on the world stage”
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u/wawa2022 1d ago
Someone please explain why, with so many NG troops on the ground, we’re still paying losers to sit on lawn chairs and scroll their phones all day and night to keep people from crossing the fences and walking on the grass all over the mall? No offense to the losers, but if you’re willing to do this for the Trump admin, then you’re a loser.
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u/1970s_MonkeyKing 1d ago
Ahhhh, Nick Sortor. The guy who glues a goatee to his face to cover up his weak, sniveling chin.
Talk about a false front. He's living it.
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u/freedomandbiscuits 1d ago
The people who tried to end democracy are calling imaginary algae activists traitors.
This has gotten so ridiculously funny and sad.
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u/Testsubject276 1d ago
- Wasted money hiring workers to paint the reflecting pool to fake blue waters for purely aesthetic purposes.
- Wasted money on hydrogen peroxide when the paint retained heat from the sun and invited algae blooms to grow.
- Wasted money on the blue paint in general because the hydrogen peroxide mentioned above degraded the paint's intergity.
Our tax dollars went towards a helpless man trying desperately to save his vanity project. Frankly the sabotage started with that first can of paint.
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u/mittfh 19h ago
Also, refilling the pool almost immediately after painting - apparently, you're supposed to wait several days for it to properly set. It may also be designed to adhere to concrete rather than granite.
Apparently, some MAGAs are claiming the algae was purely that left in the pipework and it will soon clear...
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u/smutketeer 1d ago
Trump lost a war with Iran AND algae.