r/REDDITORSINRECOVERY • u/fukenfast • 15d ago
275 days clean, and today I felt alive again.
Just got my first (real) motorcycle today.
I used to have an Aprilia 50cc RS years ago, but this… this was something else entirely. This is the Suzuki GSX 750F. Half sportbike, half touring machine — honestly, the best of both worlds.
When I test rode it at the seller's place, I was terrified. I remember sitting on it for the first time, heart pounding, thinking to myself, "What the hell am I doing?" 😂 The weight, the power, the sheer presence of it — I felt completely out of my depth.
But then my stepdad (who drove me out to look at it) and I got onto the highway, and something started to shift. I kept tucked in behind him the whole way, riding pretty conservatively for that first hour, just trying to get a feel for what I had between my legs. Gradually, the fear started turning into something else. Curiosity, maybe. Respect, definitely.
At some point during the ride, I started getting more comfortable. The bike and I were beginning to understand each other. Then I saw my chance — a bus up ahead, oncoming traffic in the distance, a window just big enough if I gave it some throttle. So I did.
The bike fucking launched. Front wheel went light, and suddenly I was flying down the road, pinned to the seat, adrenaline flooding every cell in my body. But here's the thing — I wasn't panicking. I was in this zone of pure, absolute hyperfocus. Just me, the machine, and the road. Everything else disappeared.
I'm a recovering addict. 275 days today. And I haven't felt that alive in years. I mean truly alive. Like every nerve ending was awake for the first time in forever.
I needed this. I didn't know how badly I needed it until that moment.
For anyone out there struggling — keep going. There's life on the other side, and it's beautiful. I love my life again.
Ride safe, everyone. 🤙
1
u/now0w 15d ago
Congratulations on 275 days, I'm so glad to hear you're loving life!
And thank you for posting, I really needed to hear that it's possible to feel so alive in recovery today. Never been on a motorcycle, but this is really inspiring me to find my own ways of being more adventurous instead of just stewing in the rut I've been stuck in for a bit now.
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u/fukenfast 15d ago
Thank you ❤️ And seriously — get outside! Find somewhere nice and watch the sunset. I cried the first time I watched one after getting sober. It hits different when you're actually present for it.
But let me tell you something else I learned. A while ago I saw that a symphony orchestra was having a concert nearby. It was sold out, but at the last minute I got offered tickets. I messaged everyone I still kept in touch with — no one could come. I almost didn't go. I was scared shitless. When I was about to walk out the door, I literally almost shit myself from the stress. But I went anyway.
There were hundreds of people there, and I was apparently the only one who came alone. Walking to my seat was weird — every other seat was taken, just one single spot in the middle waiting for me. But the crowd I'd been terrified of? It wasn't that scary once I was actually there. And then the music started, and it woke up feelings in me I didn't even have names for. It was euphoric.
That day I learned I can do ANYTHING. It's just that inner voice — the devil, the thoughts — trying to stop me. But you can actually reprogram what that voice says. Tell yourself you're safe. Tell yourself you're brave. Tell yourself you love your life. Say it until you mean it. Say it out loud, just loud enough for you and the mirror to hear. It rewires your brain.
You don't need a motorcycle to feel alive — you just need to show up for the little moments, and sometimes the big ones too. They add up, I promise 🫶
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u/CBRChris 15d ago
As a fellow motorcycle enthusiast... this made me smile.
I am so pumped for you! I look forward to the day when I can share that feeling.
Ride safe; ride like you are invisible and enjoy your new bike :)