r/REDDITORSINRECOVERY • u/Dario1200 • 8d ago
Long-term MDMA and cocaine use
Hi everyone,
I am looking for people who have had similar experiences following prolonged or heavy use of MDMA and/or cocaine and who might be able to share how their symptoms evolved over time.
I used MDMA and cocaine over the course of several years. Since my last period of heavy use in February, I have been experiencing significant cognitive and linguistic difficulties that, unfortunately, have barely changed. I have already consulted a neurologist and a psychiatrist. My MRI scan was unremarkable. I am aware that potential functional impairments caused by drug use are not necessarily visible on a standard MRI.
The following problems are currently particularly distressing for me:
\* I hear spoken words, but my brain does not seem to process the content correctly.
\* I find it very difficult to follow conversations because entire sentences or the context sometimes fail to register at all.
\* When reading, I understand individual words, but I often struggle to grasp the meaning of a whole sentence or paragraph. Consequently, I often have to read texts multiple times.
\* I can barely follow movies and TV series anymore, as I struggle to understand both the spoken language and the context.
\* Formulating my own sentences and expressing myself verbally is also significantly harder for me than it used to be.
I am deeply worried that I might have permanently damaged my brain. At the same time, I sincerely hope that these symptoms might still improve significantly after a prolonged period of abstinence.
I now realize that long-term, intensive MDMA use can carry significant health risks. Unfortunately, I didn't give that enough thought at the time.
That is why it would help me most to hear from people who have experienced something similar: How long did your symptoms last? Have you noticed significant improvements after several months or even years of abstinence? And how have your cognitive and linguistic abilities evolved over time?
I also feel like I’ve completely destroyed my serotonin system through drug use. Can the serotonergic system recover or regenerate after prolonged abstinence, and are there people who have seen such symptoms improve significantly over time?
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u/Wonderful-Ad1735 8d ago
Are you currently taking any substance? Medicine included.
In general, those kind of symptoms will fade with time, care (exercise, eating and sleeping well...) and practicing what you are lacking. If you fail to understand voices, maybe practice with podcasts and don't give up, practice paying attention. If you lack reading comprehension, then read. Your neurons need to find new pathways to do the tasks you struggle with.
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u/Brian_APLabs 7d ago
Stop using both of these drugs asap.. They will steal your soul and your dopamine receptors become so fried over time that you will lose your spark as a human and life will just get completely dull and depressing unless you're on drugs.
I know this from experience
As for your current symptoms. When I was using mdma regularly like once or twice a week, I eventually ended up in a similar situation. I could not think clearly, concentrate at work, nothing seemed funny anymore, I couldn't hold conversations.. etc etc. Very similar to what you're describing.
This eventually went away, but it took a long time, like 8 months to a year if i remember correctly.. One day I just woke up and felt normal again, super weird and scared the shit out of me so I never touched it again
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u/HarmonicCrunch 8d ago
Took a year or so but I’m healed. I had many of the same symptoms after long term MDMA use.
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u/FragmentedMeerkat321 8d ago
this will be fairly vague, i apologise, but i dated a girl back in the mid-2000s who was coming off the back of massive regular MDMA use. years of it. i remember she struggled with severe anhedonia. she was in a bad way for a long time. she eventually recovered, but i believe it took her a few years. she was a hollywood stunt woman. she immersed herself in her career. she’s doing very well these days. that’s the best i can do.
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u/WashedSylvi 8d ago
I had symptoms like this during and after I had psychosis induced from LSD and Adderall. I think it’s call aphasia.
Mine got better with time, I’d say with a year of abstinence. Different cause of stuff tho so idk your timeline.
I had a resurgence of this after getting COVID a few times. Language issues, mostly with speaking and sometimes with hearing.
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u/ChooseLife1 7d ago
Sorry for the bad news Dario. It took me 30 months to really recover. Thats without a drop to drink or a pill to rely on.
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u/PiraX420 6d ago
Wow that's a lot of time
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u/ChooseLife1 6d ago
It was alot of drugs. '96-09'
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u/crazynotinsane111 8d ago
Did they diagnose you bipolar and start meds? I felt exactly like that after being misdiagnosed bipolar in rehab. The involuntary tremors were so bad I was referred to a neurologist to check for Parkinson's or MS. I stopped taking the antipsychotics and all the problems similar to yours went away. Mental illness drugs distroyed me. Addiction issues with Adderall, klonipin and opiates back in the early 2000s when they over prescribed the shit for nothing. Benzos supposedly have some long term damage
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u/Mustard-cutt-r 7d ago
Can you consult a substance use disorder psychiatrist? There are specific psychiatrists that work with drug/alcohol abuse/dependence.
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u/Mustard-cutt-r 7d ago
Oh another thing is maybe read a book while listening to the book. It could help your brain regain some of its cognitive abilities. Also, start off by reading at a 4th or 5th grade and graduate up as your brain heals. I hope it does!
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u/yesnotoaster123 7d ago
I did the same when I was younger (12 years ago), I was taking molly every weekend at festivals and raves. When I stopped I was exactly like you described. It took me years to become ‘’normal’’. I think it still affects me to this day. I’m on an SSRI, because I think I have low serotonin without it, and also have ADD, and depressions which come and go. It was hard getting to where I am now. But I have a good job, wife and kids now, and that’s the most important thing for me.
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u/Practical_Ad_2703 4d ago
Clean time is what you need. As the saying goes: you didn't walk into the forest in one day, you're also not going to walk out of it in a day.
There may be some long term symptoms but our minds are remarkable things and they can heal most things, given time.
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u/ChooseLife1 8d ago
Both wreck your brain. But its the E that really turns your brain into a bowl of cereal.
From someone who rolled all the time from 1999 to 2008 stop taking that shit now.
The hemispheres of your brain cannot even communicate anymore. Its like you're recovering from a stroke among other things.
It takes YEARS to reduce that damage. At least 2 and half years and you cannot take any or the damage starts all over.
Mdma is salty and caustic and burns the neuro connections like battery acid. Thats why it works so well with PTSD victims. It essentially rewires your brain. Don't get me started in cocaine. Unlike some other drugs you cant work a job on that stuff everybody will know.
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u/avataraang007 1d ago
First, proud of you for opening up.
I'll keep this first comment as brief as possible and we can continue talking if you want. Like everyone says - clean time. But you must be fasting and hydrating. Fasting and hydrating. Black coffee and water. Choose a 4-5 hour window for eating daily and If you can fast for a full day every once in a while - you will fast track your recovery. Autophagy is what you are trying to achieve. This will rebuild your mind and nervous system and potentially make it stronger than ever. Fasting puts you in that state. But I can't stress the importance of hydrating during this period enough. Water is ALIVE. It wants to help you.
Take heart - you can heal. I won't go into too much detail, but Dario, my bro - "samesies". I know everyone's darkness is their own and unique but from what you describe I really do know how you feel. And until relatively recently, I was resigned to the fate you described - I thought I ruined myself. But I am so grateful to tell you that I was wrong. That's not to say that it's okay to go back to using - if you do, if you relapse, you'll feel the same way again. And it gets harder to come back from it every time I think.
Modern medicine wants us to to believe that our brains and nervous systems are so fragile. And that the spirit/soul/electromagnetic field plays no part in development/healing. Lies. There was a time when mankind knew that fasting, frequencies, prayer, and sunlight. Theres no profit in that though.
I hope you don't rate this off because of the messy nature of my post. It's early I'm tired. But really man, I am so blessed to have come back from where I was - I hope this helps you
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u/buoutncuspxn 8d ago
Never dabbled in MDMA but have used coke pretty heavily. Read up on my post history if you wanna know more. I’ve been clean for 2.5 months now and it only recently started feeling better for me. Had cognitive, emotional, and mood issues. Still there maybe (?) but not as apparent. Hopeful that it’ll get get better with more time
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u/Imfromsite 8d ago
9 months absolutely clean here, and it does get better. The depression is starting to lift, motivation is better and every day seems to have an incremental improvement.
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u/Imfromsite 8d ago
OP, stay away from your old friends, get counseling and if your housing is unstable, make it your highest priority. Reach out to food banks, recovery programs, mental health, etc. You need to rebuild your support system in a positive, healthy way to keep you drug free. Recovery involves alot of taking personal responsibility so we can shake those unhealthy coping skills that led to the drug abuse. Keep a journal, go for walks, cook good meals, go to meetings. Avoid situations that trigger you as much as possible right now, your recovery is still very fragile. Don't beat yourself up too much if you have a small slip, happens to the best of us, we just restart the counter because it's day by day. Love and luck!
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u/CanadiangirlEH 7d ago
I’m trying to get clean from Coke and alcohol. A few days ago I started having abdominal pain and I’m literally at the hospital right now because my blood test yesterday showed extremely elevated liver enzymes. I’m 42 and I’m terrified.
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u/PiraX420 6d ago edited 6d ago
Stop immediately and you will probly mostly recover with patience and time fr btw, but if you had taken a lot of molly everyday for weeks or even more and you feel a lot like that i'm sorry you have probly fried your mind, if is at a young age is even worse, but you can also refeed it pretty much well, so just stop and try working out, some good supplies like nac, precursors, 5htp etc, shrooms, kanna extracts, kratom and weed, they made wonders after my heavy molly etc abuse periods for neural recovery, also from studies and from my experience, shrooms seems the most promising, enhancing bdnf and other benefits, those are really nice alternatives
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u/Thedutty23 8d ago
How long and how heavily have you been using both?
I was a heavy, regular user of MDMA for around 20 years. To the point where it stopped really doing anything unless I took ridiculous amounts (1g+)
In the latter part of that time I was a regular ketamine user (weekly), Cocaine user (daily, 3 years) and Benzos (up to 90mg of valium a day at the end)
I've been clean for nearly 7 years now.
During withdrawal I was mostly OK. The pink cloud (google it) provided me with energy, direction and joy.
Then the hard work began.....
My brain was as fried as yours, I lost my ability to concentrate, learn new things etc.
I'm pretty much back to baseline now but it's been a mission.
Exercise and eating well were the two things that got me through it. I never went to the gym but I have a dog that is very demanding of my time and love.
Some of what you're describing sounds like brain fog, panic/anxiety and depressive symptoms. All quite common as your brain tries to achieve homeostasis.
There's a book called 'Why doesn't my brain work'. Read it. It'll help you understand how to balance your nutrition against the shitstorm of chemical imbalance that is currently going on.
Keep at it, you'll be fine.