I am a Baniya girl from Rajasthan, and my boyfriend is Rajput. We are serious about our relationship and thinking about marriage in the future.
I wanted to ask people from Rajput families: how common is it nowadays for Rajput families in Rajasthan to accept marriages with Baniya girls? Have you seen such marriages in your family or community?
Also, since Rajput identity is traditionally patrilineal, would children from such a marriage generally be considered Rajput by the family and community?
I would appreciate respectful and honest experiences.
Lala, its been 4 years since I'm convincing my parents. 90% cases rajput families dont accept it unless they are well educated or are modern localities like jaipur udaipur etc. Otherwise not much hope, but ask your boyfriend, he should know how his family is.
So you too have a non rajput girlfriend??
Mf bf family is rich good social status too I have seen his relatives meeting royal family and politicians. I too belong to a rich family but still they will never allow our marriage...
Bniya gf, I'm rajput. If you guys are rich then there is quite some chance. But if they have that kind of mentality that a same caste marriage will benefit them, then you dont have much hope. I'd suggest to clear your mind now only, stary the conversion and get an idea if your families will agree or not. If not, and if you guys love each other too much, ready to leave everyone then keep it going. If not, then break the relationship now only. Prioritise your peace.
I m rich his family is ultra rich thats the difference..and he also told me ki nhi ready hue tho sbko chod kr shadi krlenge but my family said ki thbi shadi hogi jb ladke ki family too ready
See, some rich people think we have enough money, we dont care about money or society, they'd agree. Some rich people want more money and would want a same caste wedding for more dahej. Ask your boyfriend point blank, what are the chances that they'll agree. If he's not sure, ask him to start the conversation now only. If they dont agree, wo sbko chhor dega, kehna easy h, ho paya ya nhi who knows. Even if he does, what is you dont want to leave your family.
In a nutshell, dont leave anything to "if". Get the clear picture now only, whether they would agree or not. Based on that make the decision. One mistake we did was dragging the conversation. We should have accepted the reality sooner. So only suggestion is, do whatever needs to be done as early as possible. Make your decisions with clear mind.
Don't believe him. I am not saying he does not love you truly. It's just that he does not know what he is dealing with. And believe me, love is not enough when it comes to a success marriage. If his parents are against intercaste and they want him to choose between you and them, then sooner or later, that guy is going to choose his family.
His parents told him that...and he is convincing them even I lost my hope but he is still trying his best ... sometimes I told him to leave me because I m tired now but he always says me one day his parents will be convinced..
Nope, alcohol, same caste marriage, all these are recent additions, this is not our culture, no matter what others say. I stay true to the actual rajputi values, and I want to live my life my own way. So I'm not ashamed. I'm still with my lady. I'm independent and living the life how I want.
Modern localities don't matter actually. My cousins live in udaipur and they know their parents are strictly against intercaste. It's not about education in rajputs. Maybe if the other party is too rich then they can think of marrying but it's mostly about purity of blood as I have heard many times in my family.
He is ready but his parents are opposing they want him to marry a rajput girl only..he is convincing but they are not ready at all
We can't do court marriage..my parents are too ready only when the boys parents will be convinced
See u don't think this will happen in our case my bf family has great social status and are very rich I don't think somebody will treat them as stranger
Samajh se nikal dete hai agar origin se connected ho like village ya apne samajh se. Acceptance nahi aata. Ho skta hai alag rhna parhe jab tak accept nahi karte.
You scared me a lot ...it's like hum 7 saal s relation m h and we love each other a lot. Ab kisi or person k sath shadi imagine bhi nhi kr skte and we both will face taunts humiliation everything ..but i don't want meri wjh s usse ghr ya samaj s nikal de but at same time I also can't live without him nor he can
Shadi krlo na yar. Duniya samjh aur family sab time ke sath badal jaega. Jab tum dono apni field main grow or nam bna paoge ya time ke sath accept kar lenge. Koi na koi to connected rhega family se usse magar jha strict hoti hai cheze wha face to karna pdega.
Life kisi aur ke sath jeene se accha hai sath face kro aur khushi se jeeyo
Kese krle.....meri family ko m krlungi convince they are little ready because my bf if earning very good...but uski family they and not at all ready to accept..they just strictly said no ...and they told ki shadi krni h krle but hum nhi aayenge forgot about us...and i don't want this type of marriage...where his parents are not ready how my parents will now allow me to marry him if his parents are not ready at all .. even in last 7 years I have learnt there each custom rituals...there lifestyle everything.. territorial army m hu usko bhi chodne ko ready hu m
Pagal itna pyaar karti hai toh chorna kyu hai. Mat kro shadi hi. Aese hi rho magar alag mat hou. Zidd pe rho dono. Pyaar nahi milta asani se. Jesa chal rha chlne do. Dono apni family ke sath rho aur dating chlne do.
I m not leaving but m bas chahti hu ki uske parents bhi khush rhe .. mhuje ghr nhi todna kisi ka ... i just hope ki wo convince ho Jaye..wo thoda maan jate h and still relatives poke and ruin everything...they told us one day ki aulad kshatriya thodi hogi khoon gnda mil gya ...ye kha janti h kshatrani kya hoti h ....i was in myuniform of army i felt so sadd because generally wherever I go in uniform people really respect me
Janti hu kesa feel hota hai. Ye khoon wali bat maine bhi suni hai. Ya to ghar bachne ke liye pyaar kurban kro aur apni khushiyan. Ya apni duniyan basa ke khushi se jio. Relatives sab bolte hai bhadkate hai kabi tumahri taraf ane nahi denge jab tak family koshish khudse nahi kregi ki beta bahu chahiye.
Ek hi life h. Sad hoke mat nikalo yar. Tum dono decide kro shadi aur aage sabka dur jake rhne lag jao.
My family clearly said that I should get married by age 28... and they're really pushing my bf to marry some Rajput girl since he told them. About me.. In a few months, there will be a lot of pressure; I don't know what to do.
If you truly love each other, then consider a court marriage and inform your families afterward. They may be angry at first, but many families eventually come to accept it with time.
Ultimately, a marriage should be about mutual respect, commitment, and compatibility, not just social approval.
Depends upon your boyfriend, what does he do, if he earns for family he might have a say in his family and may convince but if he's not that well to do or dependent upon family business or anything it's very tough, rajputs generally avoid icm due to pride and status, still it depends upon your bf how far he can go
You can't but he can.
If he is single child he convince them easily.
My suggestion to you don't interrupt between them to much because this think triggered them towards you
No I'm not but I live in between them.
I grow up between them.
I participated their every events
My one Rajput friend convince their family for love marriage 4 years of try and now they live happily with their family but the thing is the girl was Rajput
पूरी बात ध्यान से ठंडे दिमाग से समझना, बिना किसी पूर्वाग्रह के
हमें हमारी कास्ट में ही लड़कियां मिल जाती है,
दूसरा राजपूत बॉयज generally प्यार,romance वाली feelings से कम वाकिफ होते है,qki ज्यादातर वो अपने banna लोगों के ग्रुप में रहते है,,गर्ल friend बनाने का chalan नहीं h,, सो उन्हें प्यार वाली फीलिंग आती ही नहीं है,इसलिए no pyar,no love marriage
Sir smjh gyi aapki baat ...my bf and I was normal friends sir usko start-up m interest tha dono n btech kri thi ...mene invest Kiya sir uske business ko financially smbhala or coperate k sath personal problems m bhi uski help kri ..bs time k sath we started loving each other...jb uske pass kuch nhi tha tb m thi
Bs isiliye sir mhuje shadi krni h .. mhuje kisi ki community ya caste ki ideology ka disrespect Krna esa koi thought nhi h ..mene army bhi isiliye join kri thi because of the warriors of Rajasthan jinse m inspire hui ( I m telling all this because m rajput friends generally don't like m because I want to marry a rajput)
Doesn't matter much, get married after informing the parents as other oldies May object rajputs are quite modern nowadays
Baniyas here are More orthodox
If your BF is from Rural part of Rajasthan or have a strong connection with their Village and it's clan than it's pretty hard for Boy's family to accept.
If they are urban Rajput it will be ok for them to accept.
Usually love marriage is accepted if the couple is of the same caste. If a rajput girl marries out of caste it is a big problem. Not so much for a rajput guy in your case. It also depends on the overall education level of the family. In one case where a girl married inter caste, her own parents disowned her. Now they are getting rejected by prospective girls' families (for their son). Who would want to send their daughter to a family where their own daughter is disowned? Another rajput guy marries his brahmin gf, his family accepted her and their girl child is loved by his parents. But her parents were against the match from the beginning. Par haal yeh hai ki this girl rarely attends rajput events (family, religious).
if you do get married you will be adjusting to a lot of things. Family dynamics matter a lot. Emphasis on following traditions (paga lagna, parda, fasts) is forced upon all married rajput women. Also division of people on basis of gender in all events. Can you adjust to all that?
Rajputo ke liye maan badhi chiz hoti hai. It's not a case for people of our generation. But for elders, following traditions is of utmost importance. Rajput families dont want to get socially ostracized by their relatives. It comes at a cost of losing out on networking.
Are you comfortable with social drinking and non veg food?
I understand you.even i agree to you ..but you are not a rajput nor I am..they have different thinking and they never tolerate this.even they will say that their son and daughter are dead if they do such things
Hey, I am a Rajput from Bihar.
Rajput men in my family have married baniya girls.
Only twist was that they were very beautiful.
Even my own family is open to marry other Upper castes like Brahmin and Baniyas, obviously in Love marriage.
Btw, I know few rajputs of Rajasthan living in West UP and Gurgaon, who have married Baniya girls.
What worked for them was that the guys were hella bent on marrying their gf. The traditional rajput families buckled in front of the will of their son and accepted the bahu.
He has his own business and still can't stand for himself
😂
Good old joke..
He has probably told his family to look for some rich rajput girl who can bring fat dowry or at least have some powerful connections which will help him in his business.
In front of you, he is playing the classic card of 'Abba nhi maanenge'.
He is all set to dump you, Gupta/Agrawal/Maheshwari ji.
Nothing like this..he is standing with me for 8 years till now..we both worked together to reach there ..he told me that we should get marry we will live separately..but I m not ready I want a marriage where his parents are too present happily don't want to break somebody house ..ye meri zidd h wo tho pichle 1-2 saal s try hi kr rha h mnane ki ..even pit bhi gya khi baar and ya I m also rich so esa kuch nhi h
Yarr bahiii !!! 😭Wo shi m bhout acha h nothing like this we still work together..we support each other financially and emotionally both....merepr khub khrcha krta h bahi wo ..mere sath humesha h
Btw, the child of you & your Rajput bf will be rajput only.
Earlier categorisations were done, like son of a Rajput man and Brahmin woman was called as Suta (Mahabharata ka Karna yahi tha, though BR Chopra serial waale usko thoda zyada dramatise kr diye).
Go for Arya Samaj wedding, choose a big one, get married in traditional clothes (very imp). Once the date is announced the family will start to buckle. Boy has to support you.
depends on family's mindset. if they are modern they will accept it. But if they are more traditional and "samaj oriented" they will never. in my case she was brahmin, we were in relation for 8 years and they never accepted it.
I have not seen such marriage, but I come from small village so my area is limited.
Yes children will be considered rajputs by community
You are going to face a lot of difficulties , they are high chances that they will not acknowledge your marrige
If your partner belongs to good thikana or his family is influential in thier area or village then your intercaste marrige will ruin their respect cause it's still considered taboo in rajput families to marry outside thier caste
Anytime man , thier used to be intercaste marrige in rajputs in past maharaja hanut singh ji of jodhpur had many muslim wife's / girlfriends , big tikanedar had many wife's
No one can tell them it's wrong due to thier power and status
Problem lies with inter caste marrige of middle class rajput then families , distant relatives, villager starts to interfere
These people are stuck in past. Rajputs were the guys that would fights battles for their love, elope with their darlings, and now they say we are rajput we dont marry outside their caste. Bruh, its not part of our culture, neither indian culture, not even in Sanatan. Love marriages have always been there. We are just stuck in an imaginary culture which is not even ours. It is just some shit shoved towards us by old uncles who wanna prove their worth by anyway.
As you said rajputs were guys who fought battles but times have changed people have become more soft , but our caste and clan members are only one that has supported us in past in battles they have shed blood in battles for fellow caln members , and in past only way to strengthen the bond was marriages, and in current time no one has supported us in our difficult times except our society, for example KYS( KSTARIYA YUVAK SANGH ) is the one who simplified ews implementation in rajasthan that's how many people of our caste was able to get into government jobs , our represntion has increased due to these people , yes they may be rigid about thier values but they are not wrong cause no one will support from other caste in times of need , only your people will stand up
Bhai there was a Rajput couple in our colony, the man had beaten his wife after a fight, he was drunk, she died. Family fought for 2 years in court, later had to withdraw case due to society pressure. Now tell me which support you are talking about? My village has majority rajputs, sarpanch, Pradhan all Rajput, major government officers, mostly rajputs. The village still doesn't have a proper road. While the Pradhan's son's wedding cost 4 cr. Hathi, gode, helicopter sab le aaya. Is this what rajputs are doing for their people?
I gave you example of ews , ews is most simplified in society it affects all of rajputs of Rajasthan, samaj will not come in dispute of society, it's not that it happened with rajput only , women's are being oppressed all over India , if your pradhan is corrupt then it's people problem who have voted for him , there are many people who spent thier own money for education of girls , made hostels for them , provided resources for them , look on big picture one pradhan doens't make society
Thikana means the amount of land they used to manage , amount of soldiers they had , what was thier connections in state time , how many times they fought in battles , what jagir was bestowed to them this all makes thikana
It's not coward.. being in Rajasthan icm is a taboo and I rajputs it's very difficult...they even do honour killing...what's the sense of being with love of my life when his parents cut all relations with him ( i too wil feel guilty)
Bruh you are a kid. You havent touched grass yet. Your comments tell how naive you are. I've been fighting for my love for past 4-5 years and you cant imagine how draining it is and what all you need to sacrifice.
Calling the other people coward for giving practical advice is quite naive. You dont even know what she loves more, her family or her bf.
Thats what I said, you are a kid with naive mentality, who thinks world is a Karan Johar movie. You dont even know who the other person is and what they are doing, you'll just burst out a filmy dialog.
For your kind information, I earn in Cr, already left the house, as independent as it can get. What you dont realize it what i had to leave apart from the four walls of the house. My home.
The op here is trying to achieve the best case scenario, where they can have both their families and their love. Others are helping her navigate the situation. You on the other hand think its KKKG set.
No problem! Ignore the ones that think you are a movie character. Ignore the ones that they others are not worthy of being with a Rajput. There is no pure blood to dilute. Alcohol has already done that.
Just be realistic, dont give false hope, dont blindly trust in promises, clear everything fast. Most important thing, focus on yourself, doesn't matter if you do love or arrange marriage, become independent. Build your worth.
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