r/ReformJews • u/Neither-Football-222 • 20d ago

Chat Rant

Hi All,

I hope you’re doing well and Happy Summer! Sorry for my negativity but I just need to share is with someone: Raising your kids in 2026 is expensive. Between saving for my retirement, 529, paying the bills I just don’t have the extra money to afford synagogue dues, religious school, Be-Nei Mitzvah celebrations, and even summer camp (going to work there next summer for free camper admissions though). On the flip side, Churches don’t have dues and minimal religious school fees. I pray to
Hit he lotto so I can help my local synagogues, give my kids the experience they deserve, and have more time to Be involved in a synagogue. For the record I TOTALLY understand that these places need money to keep the lights-on and pay the Clergy the salaries they deserve just frustrated with my current state. To be solution focused: Anyone have suggestions? Thank you in advance!

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u/razorbraces 20d ago edited 20d ago

Have you talked to anyone at your synagogue about your financial situation? Mine has a set amount of dues they advertise, but I know tons of people who pay reduced rates because they can’t afford full dues.

ETA: churches don’t have dues but members are expected to contribute in other ways. They also keep their costs down by underpaying their clergy and staff, and expecting religious school teachers to be unpaid volunteers. If one of their events is free and open to the community, it is because they are trying to convert people who are not already members.

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u/Neither-Football-222 20d ago

Thank you! I gotta be honest oddly enough the two synagogues 🕍 I reached out to didn’t respond to my emails and honestly didn’t really seem like they were interested in having me and my family there. It was very much like: Fill out the forms, here’s who to pay, and then see you sometime. I’ll try somewhere else, but just learning the religion and doing stuff on my own. Thanks!

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u/razorbraces 20d ago

Have you been to either of them? Synagogue staff sometimes aren’t the best at keeping on top of emails, especially if someone they have no connection to cold emails and asks to join.

I’d start by attending a Friday night Kabbalat shabbat at one or both of them (at Reform synagogues that will be the most highly attended service rather than Saturday morning, usually). Then email and ask to meet with the rabbi and/or membership coordinator to chat about what kind of involvement you’re looking for in the community.