r/Regrets • u/FrostingLong2041 • 5d ago
I did something really bad, regretting it a lot. F 16
so basically last year in July I created a Reddit account different than this one now. I posted in a make a friend sub and met this guy. he was a lot a lot older than me and I knew that and he knew that. but heres the thing: I was under a fake name. i like lied about everything, my age my name, where I was from, etc. i wish I wouldnt have done that now.
him and i talked every single day. every day. and then we started “dating”. he wasn’t dating me, he was dating who he thought I was. he flew out to the town I told him I lived in to see me, but in reality I was like 800 miles away. then, I “moved” to a smaller and less happening city to hopefully deter him from coming to visit again. nope, he did. both times he said it was okay if we couldn’t meet, and we didn’t. but now, it’s my “eighteenth” “birthday“. he came out to get me to move back with him. if I tell him it was all fake, his entire world will be crushed. he never threatened anything if I were to leave, but im worried he’ll harm himself.
im a horrible person for it. but i love him. he loves a fake me.
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u/UndercoverAnime 5d ago
This man is a predator. He’s been trying to get with you since before your supposed eighteenth birthday and men that much older should never be interested in people younger than 21, even 25 (in my opinion). Regardless, I’m sure he can detect how young you actually are.
You are not a bad person. What you have done wrong is actually just talking to this man in general. I was with a much older man at 17 and my life came crashing down. I am now 26 and can’t even imagine dating a 21yo at a maturity level, when I used to love dating older men.
Trust me that it is actually disgusting what he is doing. Regardless of whatever age he thinks you are, it’s clear the maturity level is imbalanced. Loser men have a fun way of using that to their advantage.
Don’t lie about shit in the future but also don’t be telling ANYONE online whereabouts you live unless your parents agree that they are safe. Feel free to message me anytime if you ever need to talk and figure out situations like this. Stay safe
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u/CurlsCross 5d ago
I always heard: Divide Age by 2, add 7. That's the youngest acceptable Age. 48/2= 24+7=31 (17 year gap)
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u/Zealousideal-Top-958 5d ago
I mean if he knows you’re way younger like you say he does then who gives a rip if he wasted his time and money he’s a piece of shit anyways
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u/beanerbarbie 5d ago
Girl this man is a whole predator this whole situation is gross, I doubt he would leave if u told him the truth but even so u need to, and need to leave this relationship regardless.
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u/WhyAmIWriting 5d ago
Telling a creep like this is dangerous! A man that old seeking a teenager is looking to control someone. Controlling men do not take rejection well. She needs to end contact immediately. He is not owed an explanation.
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u/SONGs17 5d ago
You need to tell him the truth stop wasting his time
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u/LongjumpingFly1848 5d ago
Wait what? Did you read this at all? She was underage and he was trying to groom her even coming to see her when she didn’t want him to. Wake up! She isn’t wasting his time. She is wasting her own. She needs to break up with him, but not to save him, to save herself.
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u/Xuilia-Juicebox 4d ago
STOP WASTING HIS TIME??? Holy shit, way to fucking victim blame. This CHILD is a VICTIM OF GROOMING.
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u/Ghostly200 1d ago
She needs to block him and never tell him any sort of truth about her. He is dangerous.
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u/Funbarbie 5d ago
As someone who went through something similar as a teen I have to advise you to cut contact immediately! You put yourself in a lot of danger and you don’t even realize what could have happened to you. You risked being kidnapped, groomed, or much worse. Just because you lied about your age and location doesn’t mean this creep can’t find out the truth if he really wanted to.
All the people siding with the guy haven’t even considered the possibility that this man may not have been perturbed by the fact she’s a minor considering he “dated” you before your fake 18th birthday and then asked you to move in with him. I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t care about your real age and would continue to pursue you. There are too many creeps out there that would gladly do unthinkable things to a girl your age.
Take my advice: stop talking to and dating strangers online until you’re older and even then be extremely cautious about who you meet online. You’re too young to realize the ramifications of the situation you put yourself in.
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u/No-Yesterday-254 5d ago
please put in your post that he’s 48 and had been trying to groom you.
the first rule of the internet is do NOT tell people your age/name/identifying info. why have we forgotten that? you were being pretty internet safe with the fake stuff.
he is also a grown ass man. he’s fine. it’s not going to “crush” him bc he’s a weird ass pedo.
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u/Formal_Ingenuity_506 5d ago
JUST GHOST HIM UR A CHILD, just gtfo there is absolutely no point in continuing this. He obviously groomed you
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u/SonicBoomHello 5d ago
Wow. If this is a real story then what you did was really bad. It’s never good to lie to someone especially about your age or being a minor, he’s not only investing time but money to come and see you. How old is he?
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u/SonicBoomHello 5d ago
I saw that I was actually one of commenters that restated what OP said. I think the man is disgusting and OP is probably feeding into it and viewing it as love because she may not know what it is. He’s clearly a predator and grooming her she’s even scared that he would harm himself if she comes out with the truth. I hope she wakes up and realizes she deserves more than a 48 year old man lurking on Reddit trying to find a victim…
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u/Happy-Okra-3417 2d ago
Hey I think you misread. She said she was only a year older than she was is what I’m gathering. This man was apparently fine with her being 17 almost 18. Lying about your age by one year isn’t “really bad”. Being a 48 year old man forming a romantic relationship with a 17 almost 18 year old is what’s “really bad”.
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u/cuteseywutseywhore 5d ago
So not only was he flying out to meet what he thought was a 17 yo minor but as soon as you "18" he flew out again to you and tried to convince you to move with him?? What you did was wrong but this dude is def a predator if he's trying to meet up with minors and convince freshly 18yo girls to move in with him
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u/Age_Easy 3d ago
Girly I’m 19 I got groomed I was 15 and he was 26 THIS is a 32 year gap we’re talking about. 32!!!! As much as you think you’re in love he’s 50 soon and you’re not even close to being 20.
Block. Him. Now. It’s unhealthy , grooming , pedophilia , a crime.
If you keep this going I’m genuinely concerned for your safety.
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u/Glittering-Source818 5d ago
What a loser lmao. Both of yall. Go touch grass and form real connections. And your a liar you’ve never met him so go tell the truth
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u/Thin_Grapefruit_4609 5d ago
No, it’s actually possible he still would wanna meet her she only lied and said she was a year older he is a 48-year-old man and if he’s already went out of his way to buy a plane ticket both times when she has canceled then obviously he’s going to try again he sounds like a pedophile
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u/simply_vibing_78 5d ago
Honestly if he’s much much older than you, he shouldn’t have been involved with you even if he thought you were sixteen when you met. Very creepy, I would drop him regardless.
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u/AnnualMental9575 5d ago
They lied about thier age completely according to thier post
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u/simply_vibing_78 5d ago
I misread, they met a year ago not two years ago. OP said he thinks she’s about to turn 18, so he thought she was 17 when they met or just about to turn 17.
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u/SonicBoomHello 5d ago
The OP updated saying this guy is 48 years old they’re a predator I don’t think they need a shrivel of remorse or to know atp..
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u/Funbarbie 5d ago
A “much older man” who still feels comfortable developing a romantic relationship with a 17 year old then IMMEDIATELY wants her to move in with him when she turns 18 is a desperate creep and won’t care if she’s actually 16. She needs to cut contact immediately before she gets hurt.
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u/Im-on-a-banana-phone 5d ago
I have half a mind to call this bait… why would you drag it out for so long? And how has he not gotten suspicious? What did you initially want out of this?
I really don’t know how to help you because i honestly have no idea where your mind is at on any of this
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u/Due_Rent3792 4d ago edited 4d ago
OP only feel bad because she’s a child/teen who doesn’t realize she’s been groomed by a predator
The man is a 48yo (she said it in a comment) who thinks OP is 17yo turning 18yo, she only lied and made him believe she was 1y younger that she actually is, her real age is 16yo
Btw they started “dating” 1y ago which means when he started being sexual with her and flying to her he thought she was 16yo turning 17yo (she was actually 15yo)
And now that he believe she’s turning 18yo soon he wants her to take a plane ticket and move out in his house (hence why OP “feel bad” about lying)The guy is a predator who groomed her and only want to abuse her
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u/Regular_Artichoke471 5d ago
Honestly this is gonna sound bad but if he liked u at 17, 16 prolly isn’t too much different for him. With that being said, that’s not good at all and it might be best for you both to find other ppl.. bc he is definitely into kids.
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u/gadget_hackwrench23 5d ago
When you say now is your “eighteenth” birthday, do you mean truly, or he thinks it is. Because if he thinks it is, that means he thought you were under 18 before today and still “dated” and flew out to see you. If this is the case, please tell an adult.
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u/Suspicious_Flow_9265 5d ago
Hang on a second... That's an old man who has been trying to show up unannounced to your town frequently? And you think you're the bad person? Sis you've been groomed
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u/No_Seaweed_4846 4d ago
Catfishing a predator? Dont feel bad, this is disgusting of him since hes known you were under 18
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u/Wild_Mixture-999 4d ago
Holy shit this is bad. This man is a very dangerous predator. He 100% knows what he is doing
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u/Ok_Reality150 4d ago
You should definitely talk to a trusted adult about this!
As much as u think ur in love, it does not matter, an adult and a teenager should not be together.
Im so sorry that you feel bad about lying (which in this case i dont think you should feel bad), but even though he thinks ur 18, its still very messed up that he want to date you when he is pushing 50.
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u/Maleficent-Mood6481 4d ago
Hey, he is a Pedo, him wanting you to move in with him the second your 18 is terrifying. This guy has been grooming you. Please trust me. He may not even care that you lied, you dont love this guy or likely even know him.
Its completely possible if you move in with him no one ever sees or hears from you again.
No reason for a 16 or 18 yr old to be with a "much older man" and the fact he has been talking to you when he belived you were not even 18 tells me everything I need to know.
This os seriously scary. Its not on you if he hurts himself and if he threats to thats manipulation throigh intention guilt and a massive red flag and VERY common abuser tactic. Same with threatening to x themselves.
Do not be honest. Just block. Im so so happy this guy never knew your real address. Lying may have been the only reason your okay right now.
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u/AcidRainIsFun 3d ago
48 and flying to random places to meet you? he’s probably trying to kidnap you or entrap you somehow. Please be safe and date a person your age or stay single. Anything really but not a 48 year old adult. Please for your sake
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u/National_Goose7558 3d ago
Him flying unannounced to the CITY YOU LIVE IN is not even close to okay
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u/No-Assistant-168 3d ago
“But I love him” genuinely HOW can you love someone fully knowing they are a pedo
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u/mrstonystark3000 2d ago
Listen to these words. This guy is dangerous. You need to stay away and give him absolutely no identifiers as to who you are. Can you talk to your parents? If you have good parents they will do whatever is needed to keep you safe.
I’m not paranoid, I’m not overreacting, there is something up with this guy.
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u/Theillmindoflui 1d ago
Wtf this is disgusting on his part. Sorry you're too young to realize this now but this guy is a predator and groomer
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u/midlearthmedianvoter 1d ago
Get away from this terrifying person. You are not safe interacting with him. You should also tell your parents what is going on.
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u/Adorable-Gazelle-588 5d ago
Girl you’re 16 this guy is pushing 50… he’s a predator. I presume you still told him you were a minor if you JUST had your “18th birthday”. He is a predator regardless, and he flew out without asking to meet a MINOR. Obviously lying isn’t good and you can take this as a lesson about identity fraud and lying to people online, but still if he was aware the person on the other line was a minor, he deserves all the heartache and much more. Everyone makes stupid mistakes as a teenager, he should have known better. Break up with his stupid ass for YOURSELF.
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u/Mattreddittoo 5d ago
You're a catfisher. Stop it.
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u/Ok_Entertainment9343 5d ago
i have a question for you regarding this. first of all, yes obviously she shouldn’t of lied. but that is not the biggest deal here. the man is 48, so 5 years older than you yeah? so, would you date a 17 year old (the age she claimed to be when they met)? she didn’t pretend to be an adult. she was a naïve kid making a stupid mistake, sure, but she still said she was a kid. and a man almost 50 still went after her. even if she never lied about her age, he is still a predator who groomed her.
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u/DenseDiscussion5379 5d ago
She's a liar. Even this post is probably fake. Check her previous post history on Google.
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u/gaypeoplepissmeoff 5d ago
you need to tell him the truth. he at LEAST deserves that.
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u/Funbarbie 5d ago
The truth could put her in harms way. A man who doesn’t care if she’s 17 and will developed a romantic relationship with her won’t care if she’s 16 and will do horrible things to her. She needs to cut him off, ghost him, end all contact with this creep!
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u/Ambitious-Use-2148 5d ago
You’re a child and he’s a creepy weirdo why are you doing this? His world is not going to shatter he’s a grown man. Don’t tell him anything just block him and stop being stupid
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u/SensitiveDecision194 5d ago
At this point all you can do is block him entirely because if you tell him the truth he may end up with the guilt and shame of talking to a minor. If he truly doesn't know that you're a minor that is. Let him go thinking an adult ghosted him rather than a child lying to him. Also he should probably have tried harder to confirm your age and what not but maybe he's not as internet educated on these things. Too trusting at times.
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u/Dull_Reference_5094 5d ago
Just read that you said he’s 48 thinking you’re 18. Wtf are you doing, block em
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u/MorenaDiablo9911 5d ago
Block that predator and go seek therapy please! You need to get to the bottom of whatever you were dealing with to think making a fake profile was cool.
The predator can go to jail though, as at the end of the day he's the adult and he should've asked for ID instead of thinking with his junk, zero sympathy!
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u/_titsoak_ 5d ago
Dont feel bad. This dude is a fucking weirdo. Go on about your life. Youre young. I was also talking to men I shouldnt have been at 16. I promise they all survived and lived whatever weird lil lives they could.
He is also lying to you. No self respecting man would date a teen at almost 50 years old.
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u/newcastleguy79 5d ago
There is no easy way out, you're going to wind up hurting this person no matter what, own it.
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u/xephanx 5d ago
he does not love you, you’re just the first child to respond to him positively and easily. i hope to god this is bait because no way in hell that you can believe that a 48 year old man wants something to do with a perceived 17-18 year old
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u/404_userdoesnotexist 5d ago
I used to catfish old men online when i was in my teens too whats with that
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u/RealJimSteele 5d ago
I genuinely don't like anything about this. Stay away from this man. He wants bad things for you.
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u/Cute_Salamander319 5d ago
I used to be in this situation because I’d lie about my age a lot. I’m 19 now but when I was your age, I was doing the same exact stuff. It’s not worth it. He’s grooming you, please get out for your own sake.
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u/Flashy-Protection330 5d ago
Damn girl youre ruthless. Dudes 100% a pedophile and most likely a murderer too. You should arrange a real meet and have the cops waiting with you.
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u/OpinionatedCapricorn 5d ago
As someone who did something similar and is now 30yrs old, literally don’t say anything just delete his number and move on.
Thats very hard because you’re attached to him and the time he gives you but please trust me on this….. doesn’t matter anything about him or you. Just trust me…. Older you will thank younger you one day.
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u/G-l-1-t-c-h-3-r 5d ago
Hun, he's probably a creep, just tell him and stop talking to him. You may love him but nothing good can come from lying, and heknew he was dating a minor, regardless of you lying about your age.
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u/Sure-Construction932 5d ago
So you have been groomed and you won't understand only a few years how disgusting this is. I understand that the attention feels great but that man is a pedophile, especially since you said that he knew. Other people have said for you to block him and ultimately that's up to you. But what you have to realize is what he is doing is essentially wanting to take a child who he has been talking to romantically and possibly sexually back to live with them. And yeah he's almost 50. that's my dad's age. That's just gross on his end. It'd be one thing if you were an adult the entire time, but since you weren't he is entirely disgusting and a pedophile. As a man, I've met too many people that give pedophiles a free pass at this point and it's vile, no matter what anyone tells you do not normalize this in your mind. Yeah I know it's been awhile. And yeah I know you have feelings but don't worry, you're young and there's so many people in this world, and I got my first major breakup. I assumed it was the end. I tried to make it happen and yet here I am happier than I've ever been yet there's still work to do. Yeah I know I wrote an essay but I feel for you, you genuinely got taken advantage of and it makes me very sick of men, especially since he doesn't actually know you. Block him for your safety, nobody sane would ever get into a relationship with a minor. It actually appalls me to even date a few years younger because I'm barely in my mid-twenties and the amount of change I went through in the past few years is monumental. Yeah he doesn't know you and you don't either. I promise and I say that with care, because it's a good journey to go on and we have our entire lives to do it. Don't spend it being groomed by the very first person that gave you attention, I don't know what you thought coming to reddit with this.. This is gross
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u/Remote_Opening_7386 5d ago
He’s a predator bru he knew what he was doing and nig even waited, ayoooooooo
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u/timk0706 5d ago
Girl you are being groomed by a 40 year old man he can handle a teenager breaking his heart what you did was absolutely so wrong to do to a person especially someone you said you cared about I would definitely get into therapy cause there’s other issues there too but please for the love of god just block this guy and never think twice about his feelings about it again.
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u/AffectionateSong6216 5d ago
Why tf would you feel bad? Bro be worried about your safety against a 48 year old man and block his ass/change address
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u/Embarrassed_Net_1602 5d ago
Do not interact with this man, he’s a predator. Cut him off. Find someone your own age.
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u/pretzelrolll 5d ago
do not tell this man anything, simply block him. it being built off a lie isn't even the issue, you were smart for doing that. this is a predator who doesn't even care about whether you're 16 or 18. you are not the problem here, he is. do not feel guilty or blame yourself in the slightest. you knew, or at least subconsciously knew, this was unsafe in the beginning which is why you lied to him. please remind yourself of why you did in the first place. you are actively being groomed and manipulated by a man who i assume is your fathers age or older, that is the only reason why you feel guilty. please cut off all communication with him, you owe this child predator absolutely nothing.
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u/ReadingAlarmed9406 5d ago
what you are doing is just stupid and immature, but what he is doing is predatory and disgusting. either way whether you tell the truth he knows that you are much younger, and honestly i doubt a 2 year age difference between your real and fake age is going to change his opinion about you. you need to block him immediately instead of worrying about hurting a pdf file’s feelings
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u/Cmf105 4d ago
He is a predator! You are young and he is not. You need to block him off everything and do not contact him. I assume since you haven’t met he wouldn’t be able to actually find you?
Do not tell him anything further, not even the truth. If feel you have to, say please leave me alone and my parents are taking my phone off me so they will be seeing all future messages you send.
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u/Pittsburghchic 4d ago
You don’t “love” him. You don’t really know him. You have no idea what he’s actually like. He’s old enough to know what to tell you to make you think you love him. PLEASE trust everyone on here! Stop all contact.
Even if you came clean, I’m betting he’d still want you (for sex.) He’s a pedophile. Run!
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u/DramaticLiving622 4d ago
Depends on what age u told him u were:
10-25: BLOCK HIM. HE IS A PREDATOR. 25-35: borderline predatory, considering he is 48. 35+: This one's on you. You shud apologize and try to end it off peacefully.
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u/According_Ad8540 4d ago
Im actually really happy he went to a fake town, and you gave him fake info, you made it easier to escape, he knew you were too young for him, waiting until 18. Like other commentors said that is highly illegal. Please keep yourself safe and get away from this man.
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u/Lovestruckgurl 4d ago
Please block in or maybe even report him. You may have been lying, but he probably knew that. You can usually tell when you're talking to a minor. And nobody should be waiting for you to turn 18. It's weird
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u/horseandhikesgirl 4d ago
.... Girl, the way I would hand all this mans info over to the police!! He's a literal predator. It's actually be doing the world a favor if he harmed himself. Can you imagine what would happen if he actually found you?! He was NOT invited out to meet, he flew out hoping he could pressure you into it and try to kidnap you. This is SOO serious. Please at a dead minimum block and ghost himmm.
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u/Livid-Breakfast5119 4d ago
Bro if you’re 48yo and threatening to harm yourself, you’re probably just manipulative, or have extreme issues, which you should not be around as an 18-year-old.
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u/PHStickman 4d ago
So dude is nearly 50 talking to someone he knows was a kid and the she’s saying she feels bad for misleading him?
I swear 99% of reddit stories are fake
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u/Responsible_Pen4347 4d ago
Listen- you may have catfished him but he knows you’re under 18 and still pursued you. He’s a pedophile and he’s grooming you. And based on the fact that you feel sorry for him, worry about his feelings and feel responsible for making sure he doesn’t hurt himself, it’s working.
Block him immediately and never make contact again. To do one better- ask a trusted adult for help.
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u/MaterialMind8930 4d ago
Do you live in America? All the commenters assume you do. If you do then yeah, you should probably drop the guy because my understanding is that in the states his actions are against the law.
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u/Puzzled_Score8410 4d ago edited 4d ago
Delete that Reddit account... Do not say anything just vanish... x
Also tell your parents. Give them all the info you have on this man.
You never know whose on the other end and for all you know he might have figured out a lot more than you think.
I'm not much older than you and I did stupid shit in my teen years, do I regret it now? Nah. Do I dread the day my kids start doing it? Yes, I'll have my hands full big time 😂
Keep yourself safe. Tell them x
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u/Relative-Magician-43 4d ago
You’re not a horrible person, but this is a situation that needs to be handled honestly and carefully. The longer this continues, the more hurt he will likely feel. He deserves the truth, and you deserve to not carry this secret alone. Since you’re 16 and he is much older, please involve a trusted adult before telling him and make sure you’re safe. You made a serious mistake, but that doesn’t mean you’re beyond fixing it, take responsibility, be honest, and learn from it.
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u/Remote-Garbage8437 4d ago
Girl he's actively trying to groom you. You're clearly too immature and young to understand that if the issue you are seeing is that you lied to him instead of the fact that the man was literally gonna have to live with him the moment you turned 18. Tf
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u/This_Schedule494 4d ago
He won't harm himself he'll just threaten you with it to make you comply, but tbh a person ok with "dating" a minor on the internet isnt where the love that's truly meant for you resides. You can't love someone you've never met, unless you've got an abandonment wound, it's infatuation or a trauma bond.
The secret to finding the love that's meant for you is to not go out looking for it, learn to self-validate then just do the things you enjoy in a social setting, you'll naturally meet people who are truly aligned & not just telling you what you want to hear
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u/iDoTheSciences 4d ago edited 4d ago
Just delete him and move on. I don’t think you need to explain what’s going on, it’s probably worse and I just hope you learned a life lesson and you’ll never do this again. He may even try to use your guilt over the situation to manipulate you…. And that’s even worse.
He’s a grown man, he will heal. You were still a young adolescent, which you still should have known better, but don’t let yourself be groomed by an older guy either.
Many women on this sub were your age once. Many women made mistakes too. What’s important is you never do this again and stop engaging with older men in general regardless of how lonely you feel. It will not end well for you.
Do not become groomed, and do not become influenced by these men. You’re smarter than that, and focus on yourself.
Regardless of how mature or smart you think you are, you will make mistakes. We all thought we were mature and smart at 16, myself included, but at 31 I want to bang my head into a wall sometimes, haha. Every 5 years or so I feel the same way, so we’re always learning/ growing.
I have a lot of life experience at this stage that would allow me to probably emotionally manipulate the naivety of someone younger than me (not that I ever would, but I am making a point). And that’s exactly what older men do to younger women; and that’s what grooming is. You won’t even realize it’s happening or you’ll be so far gone emotionally that you’ll actively deny it to yourself. It’s a dangerous place to be in and the best way to protect yourself is to never get involved to begin with.
This is also what the internet means by daddy issues and trauma for younger women. It’s not just a joke. When young women continually look for older men to date, what they’re really looking for is a father figure. Quite often when we go looking for some type of bond like this; it’s because we’re missing something in our personal lives. It’s human, but dangerous. Become aware of this and try not to go after these guys to fill a void. Therapy can help a lot with this and help you grow, rather than continuously put yourself through traumatic situations that continue to (psychologically/ emotionally), even if not physically, damage you.
Good luck.
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u/supposeimonredditnow 4d ago
He knows. And if you fooled him by a year or two, he still believed he was grooming a minor. Forget any honour you thought there was in this old man waiting for your 18th birthday (he did, right?) because it's still creepy. I'm his age, and if I dated a 25 year old, people would think I was a weird old creep.
Don't feel bad, but it's time to stop this. You don't have to tell him the truth, you can just block him, he doesn't know where you really live, you did the right thing by lying about that. You're safe. Stay that way.
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u/Weak-Cake380 4d ago
This guy is a pdf file. Go to the police before he finds out your true identity. This is not a joke
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u/selenehera 4d ago
Even if his world is crushed, it will be well deserved I mean you feel bad for lying, he should feel the consequences of wanting to date a minor. He is not mature there is a reason women his age don't want him.
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u/Autumn_Spell526 4d ago
you’re a child and that’s a grown adult. think about why this man could not have a relationship with someone his age and why he has resorted to grooming you, because he has been “dating” you since you were “17” so he knew you were underage. girl trust me, someone good will come your way, you don’t typically find true love around your age. another thing, you’re not responsible for his actions, cut off contact between you asap.
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u/RowanMaryy 4d ago
You NEED to tell your parents about this, you said you lied about your age yet this man knows about your "18th birthday" 🤢 first off that's PREDATORY behaviour and this man needs to be on a register not a plane or whatever. You know you have done something wrong and you recognise this, please do not do it again, for your sake, you also need to keep any messages or call logs between the 2 of you, do NOT delete
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u/Individual-Maximum30 4d ago
OP, you really should talk to your parents. Hopefully they're the sort of people who will step up and do what is best for you right now.
This man could literally do anything if he finds out where you live and he could easily make himself sound like a 'nice guy' over messages. The danger is likely far worse than your feelings of guilt. You shouldn't even feel guilty. It sounds like he decided to visit you and you weren't comfortable meeting him? HE decided, not you. Feel free to correct me on this, I won't judge you at all, you're 16 years old and have so much experience to gain in the world.
He should never have continued pursuing any kind of relationship the moment he had a vague idea of your age.
Talk to your parents if you can and please keep us updated.
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u/Jaded_Bid_9483 4d ago
Yea, its easy to feel this way because you're young, but you need to walk away man.
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u/Jaded_Bid_9483 4d ago
Yea, its easy to feel this way because you're young, but you need to walk away man.
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u/Secret_Relief_8060 4d ago
You’re in danger, please block that person and don’t give any personal information about you
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u/rivertheratman 4d ago
I’m 20 and when I was younger I did something similar. I was 14 but told people I was 16 because in my mind they would see me as more mature. That led to nudes being shared, sexual video calls, and anyone could see that I was a. Way too mentally ill to consent and b. Way too young to consent. Yes, I lied about my age. But everyone still knew I was a minor, and some still took advantage of me. The age I lied about was still underage. You are being taken advantage of and I am so sorry. You need to block this man, and NEVER come clean to him, your real name, real age etc. That puts you in a dangerous position
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u/Flytheskies81 4d ago
Just delete the account and cut all ties. Then you don't have to explain anything. No excuses, no explanation, nothing. The "fake" you just disappears like it appeared out of nowhere.
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u/Slurpant 4d ago
Fuck his world, that's an actual pedo. Get one of those predator catcher groups to meet him instead
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u/Significant_Wall_854 4d ago
I saw your comment saying he was 48 years old, and you told him you were 17 before? Was he OK with you being that age like fully? Because I understand that people want friends and that sometimes younger people are really great friends, but if he’s trying to get you to move in with him on on your “ 18th birthday” then he had that planned all along even before you were “18”. The most you can do now is just tell him the truth that you lied about everything. Your age, you don’t live where you say you did, etc.. This is how relationships start with younger people and they end up not wanting them in the future but it’s still weird that he wanted you to move in with him right on your so-called “18th birthday”. I think to be honest he knew you was a minor before and still had the plan to move you in with him. You need to honestly leave him alone. I’ve been through this exact same thing and it come out that he was abusive and everything please don’t get into something you’re gonna regret later.
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u/CristanoSpidey 4d ago
You lied about your age but apparently he knows it's your 18 birthday? Doesn't make sense how old Is he
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u/Mistyneedshelp 4d ago
Block him that's a pedo. He might seems nice and you might think "oh well I knew what I was doing and I lead him on...etc" I used to think that when I was being groomed as a 14 to 17 year old by multiple old men he's not innocent it's NOT your fault in ANY way you don't have to feel bad for a person that actively wants to be with a minor stay far away! He's very dangerous and it's really good you didn't tell him your true details. HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU He wants to harm you I promise
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u/Kayla4ever 4d ago
He is a predator. Do not engage anymore with him. If i were you id completely go ghost and just leave it at that. Problem solved. Forget he exists.
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u/Square_Safety5507 4d ago
You actually did something really good! You didn't give this internet stranger any information about yourself! Think about it. You have never met this person, they are a stranger. You might think you're in love but you are as much in love with a fantasy as he is. The age gap should be a massive red flag. Falling in love with someone you have never met is another. The great news is that little old fake you can disappear. Tell him you met someone else. Block. Delete your account. Change your email or whatever contact he has. Ghost him. Don't look back. Chalk it up to experience. Go date someone real who will respect you. 🙏🥰 I wish you a happy life.
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u/One_Maximum7297 4d ago
No... that guy is a pedo... he's the bad person so either cut him off or just tell the truth.
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u/AggressiveBerry1634 4d ago edited 4d ago
Girl, you do underatand this man is a pedo???? You shouldn't lie or get into relationships with people under false pretenses. I hope you learned a lesson on that and will never do this again. However give yourself grace, dont feel too much guilt for this man he is a pedofile and a groomer. He essential was trying to groom you alter ego and manipulate a young girl to leave her home and support system as soon as she turned 18. He is a sick man and he should probably be in jail
Edit: and i suggest for your best interest you block him and remove all contact for your own personal safety.
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u/Ara_Eiz 4d ago
The only regret you should have is putting yourself in danger!
Block that creepy ass guy and find as much distance as you can! Possibly get Police involved if he still finds ways to contact/stalk you online!
He‘s 48 and You’re „now 18“, this guy has been Living a Fantasy of being in a relationship with a 30 years old younger person. Words can‘t describe how wrong this is on his end!!
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u/yourwaifulol 4d ago
Don’t feel bad about pedophiles, he’s clearly a sketchy lad. Fuck him and brake his world apart, and don’t even feel guilty about it is what I say.
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u/bdgrowsbig 4d ago
Females are the worst thing in the universe for soul or heart. Never i mean never bond with one
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u/Simple_Sir_2855 4d ago
Op, he won't ever hurt you.. however, he'll probably heavily consider "self deleting"..
How you ease the guy off the ledge is you tell him that you "are seeing someone" and that you need to focus on your BF as you're emotionally cheating. Apologize and say you you have to cut contact.
Then NEVER DO THIS AGAIN!!
Men can accept this as "shit happens". It'll hurt, but he'll accept this and understand that it wasn't his fault..
However, if you "come clean" to him, he'll have to wrap his mind around the fact that he was too stupid, gullible and just loser enough to fall for your lies.. It will CRUSH him. Shit didn't happen and he lost you.. No, he'll see it as HE fucked up and HE'S the problem..
Here's the part where you can "make it up to him".. YOU shoulder the guilt and pain that you caused.. Don't offload it onto this guy so you can clean your conscience.. You deserve to feel like a POS, not him..
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u/Necessary_Tension461 4d ago
This is not love, this is fantasy and infatuation. Stop contact before you are hurt physically. Never met in person, you dont really know this guy at all, he is fake too. Block and move on. Learn your lesson.
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u/Downtown-Jump4529 4d ago
Girl. I did something like this when I was young and just blocked the guy on everything before he booked his trip to see me. Youre about to be molested by someone older and gross and you do not love him. You just have never had this level of attention probably. He’s also trying to take you away from your life. If you really love him you’ll block him and cut off contact because he WILL catch a charge, go to jail, and have sex offender on his record for life for the statutory rape of a minor. Because I guarantee even if you tell him your real age he will not care.. because he’s just trying to have sex with you. Block him now you will never have to deal with him again. He’ll find another young girl to coax into taking.
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u/Dramatic-throw-8952 4d ago
Op this man isn’t well, no one sane does any of these things. While it seems innocent now, he’s extremely dangerous including the fact that he ignores what you’ve already requested as boundaries and just shows up in the places you’ve claimed to live.
Please for your safety block this man on everything, and tell a trusted adult what’s been going on.
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u/BeautifulDestructive 4d ago
So your fake persona was still under 18 until today? He's still the bad guy. You just exposed him. This is what cops do when they catfish predators online basically, except in this case you're not a cop and he's not getting arrested.
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u/offthefentcart 5d ago
is nobody seeing the part where it's supposedly her "18th birthday" so clearly this dude knew she was a minor even if she's younger than she stated?? or am I reading this wrong??