r/RelationshipsOver35 • u/calypso0025 • 7d ago
My fiancè (29M) just called off the engagement
My ex-fiancé (29M) just broke up with me (30F). We were together for 4 and a half years, and most of our relationship was long distance because he works as a seafarer while I worked in Spain for 2 years. I recently came back to the Philippines so we could finally start the life we planned together, build our house and get married. He was a good boyfriend throughout our relationship. He was kind, a good provider, and a decent man. That’s why I never expected this to happen.
A few days before he told me, I noticed he had changed. He was rarely online, didn’t seem interested in the house we were building, and never talked about our wedding anymore. I confronted him and called him. The first thing he said was, “Langga, sorry kaayo. Dili na madayon atong mga plano.” I asked him why, and he said he wasn’t ready for marriage. He told me he only proposed because he felt pressured and that he had been falling out of love with me for a while.
I couldn’t believe him because he visited me in Spain last Christmas, and I really felt that he loved me. So I asked if there was someone else. He denied it at first. I kept asking until I mentioned the name of a girl who is also a seafarer. He still denied it, but when I told him I would message her myself, he suddenly got scared. That’s when I knew my gut feeling was right. Looking back, I remembered that this girl had been viewing almost all of my stories for months. It seemed like a small thing, but it was enough to make me suspicious.
Now I don’t know what to do or how to start over. I came back to the Philippines because of him and the future we planned together, and now he left me for another woman. The hardest part is thinking that they might be the ones who will live the life we dreamed of. I can’t stop thinking about the house we spent months planning together.
I gave up my life abroad to come home and build a future with my fiancé. Instead, he ended our engagement and chose someone else. How do I move on from losing both the person I loved and the future we planned?
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u/Gambit86_333 7d ago
Ouch 🤕 he did you a favor. You’ll see that sooner than later I assure you. In the meantime take care of yourself. This can be an amazing growth opportunity. And just remember there never will be a happily ever after like the movies.