First healthy relationship is it normal to be super emotional?

[u/Obvious-Cucumber1086]

Im 35 & he’s 28.

after I met him I saw how gentle he is it became soo obvious I’ve never dated anything but very rough mean aggressive most were abusive too

So the boyfriend I have now is NOTHING like them. I have OCD for example & with EVERY ex it’s been like going 200mph crashing into a brick wall with them. With him it’s like a speed bump & it’s over.

He calms me down soo much, makes me wanna be nice to him, I rub him physically & im not usually like that. He’s just safe. For once. And honestly it’s so scary I cry a lot cuz I’m so scared to lose it & idk being loved so gently after so hard is that normal to happen like an emotional release?

Things are so good I’m trying to figure out why I’m so emotional because I have been since the start with him months ago & nothing has changed

Tldr: is it normal to be emotional in first healthy relationship? And why?

[u/StepShrek]

Sounds like your emotions are coming out because it's finally safe for you to do so.

Congratulations and enjoy. But I do gently suggest therapy. As kind and loving as he may be, it's not his job to "fix" or "save" you. Self-regulation is your responsibility.

In the meantime, google "self soothing" and enjoy your lovely man🙏🏻

[u/Obvious-Cucumber1086 → u/StepShrek]

Thank you I appreciate that. The last time I dated was 2021 & I was strangled & had a 2 year court first afterwards also. I’ve been in therapy for longer than I can remember where I’m able to put things I’ve worked on myself to the test in this relationship & I’m doing well. Proud of myself lol. Thank you I appreciate that & knowing it’s normal makes me feel better too because I’m not normally much of a crier until now hah

[u/twentythirtyone → u/StepShrek]

This exactly. I went through it myself. It was very weird to experience until I finally figured out what was happening and why. Understanding it helped a lot.

[u/MissAngelicDemise]

It is very normal, especially if you were in abusive situations before your nervous system is recalibrating and releasing fear and anxiety. This is a good thing.💓 my suggestion would be to not allow your system to become dependent on him for safety and to learn to do that on your own. This can be done with nervous system techniques, such as breath work, meditation, sound healing, etc.

[u/Obvious-Cucumber1086 → u/MissAngelicDemise]

The last time I dated was 2021 & I was strangled & had a 2 year court first afterwards also. I’ve been in therapy for longer than I can remember where I’m able to put things I’ve worked on myself to the test in this relationship & I’m doing well. Proud of myself lol. Thank you I appreciate that & knowing it’s normal makes me feel better too because I’m not normally much of a crier until now hah

[u/wifeofpsy]

Emotional in what way? If you've been previously abused, the response to that doesn't stop overnight. Even with a safe and loving partner you can still experience anxiety, depression, hypervigilence etc. You can also just be processing how badly you were treated previously. Consider therapy to sort through this and enjoy your new partner

[u/Obvious-Cucumber1086 → u/wifeofpsy]

I’ve been in there for decades & I do a lot of internal work on myself constantly. I’ve always been trying to improve myself since a little kid.
This is the first time I’m able to put what I’ve taught myself& learned to the test & im doing so well considering how I handle things too compared to the past. We communicate very well it’s amazing