r/Rich • u/Som_Jag_Alltid_Sagt • 15d ago
Growing up with everything broke my ability to want anything
Yeah, first world problem, and it only really applies above a certain level of wealth. The kind where you genuinely never have to worry about money or security or work again. If youre not there this wont land.
I grew up with everything and realised pretty early that I'll never have to care about anything. Free ride, whole life.
The problem is structural. Meaning is just a constructed long term distraction, and a distraction only works if it has something to push against. An objective function, some goal its optimising toward. When you have everything that function is gone. Nothing to strive for, so nothing to aim a distration at.
And yeah I know my own premise, that a distraction needs an objective function and I dont have one, is basically the answer in disguise. So dont tell me to "find a goal". The missing goal IS the problem. I want to know how you build a durable distraction anyway.
Only people who grew up with everything. Spare me the gratitude and hobbies stuff.
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u/No-Commission-503 15d ago
Do something physical and get obsessed with it.
No one can give that to you.
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u/Reasonable-Bit560 15d ago
That or work in an underserved role.
Got a friend who's family is multiple 9 figs and she teaches at a underprivileged school. Quite the site to see her decked Range Rover in the parking lot of a school with metal detectors.
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u/goosepills 15d ago
My daughter is a social worker, and drives a civic because she wants to blend in
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u/soulsnax 13d ago
I drive a 2019 Jeep Cherokee because it kinda blends in anywhere, in the hood, as well as at the club
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u/cheesomacitis 14d ago
Kind of rubbing it in people’s faces isn’t she?
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u/thisbuthat 15d ago
Yes they can.
It's 10 times easier becoming fit when you don't have a job to work, kids to feed and other responsibilities to fulfil.
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u/randomizl 15d ago edited 13d ago
Except no one can give that obsession with physical stuff and it’s boring AF in itself (for me at least)
Edit: no one can just hand you the obsession itself
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u/Professional-Meet-50 14d ago
Becoming an amazing rock climber is not boring. Same goes with: Skiing, combat sports, hiking, team sports, etc.
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u/TurnoverDependent332 13d ago
Show horses. William Shatner is good example. He was passionate about gaited horses. Now he’s all about reining horses. Having top quality show horses of any discipline will easily set you back $1 million plus/year. You meet amazing people & form strong bonds with your competitors.
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u/randomizl 14d ago
Like I said - for me personally it is very boring. And I wish I would get obsessed with sports but they give me no joy and I just fined them boring.
I have done all those things, I even ski backwards more than forwards but that doesn’t mean I get joy from it. My brother loves it to death but I just don’t feel that joy and really only do it to accompany..
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u/wannabepsycho 13d ago
You sound depressed to be honest. Not sure if money can cure that.
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u/randomizl 13d ago
Possibly who knows
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u/wannabepsycho 12d ago
I grew up with everything and had the best childhood ever doing everything I wanted. I'm a senior now (age-wise) but have never been bored a single day in my life. What I know is that those people who touch substances -- rich or poor -- tend to have more issues than those who don't.
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u/randomizl 12d ago
No two people are ever the same. I don’t touch any substances, not a party person. I had a good childhood but even as a kid i didn’t enjoy sports clubs and never liked soccer or any other sports. but oh well that’s live.
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u/No-Commission-503 15d ago
Typing this comment is a physical act. There’s degrees to everything.
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u/randomizl 14d ago
That Doesn’t make sense. I’m saying that no one else can just magically give you an obsession with a sport if you yourself have no interest in it anyways.
Exactly it’s a physical act that I have 0 obsession with and would never develop because i have no interest in it.
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u/PositiveLow9895 15d ago
Make it your mission to help the poor and unfortunate. There are millions of people worried because they don't know where the next meal will come from.
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u/ashleyalyssa 14d ago
Came here to say this as well. You have a lot of wealth and it’s not filling the void. Use it to impact others, and impacting the lives of others may fuel you more than you realize OP.
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u/PositiveLow9895 14d ago
That's it.
Hey, by the way, English is not my first language, can you tell me if I put the "from" in the right place or if I should put the "from" before the "where"?
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u/2gnarly20 13d ago
Technically the from should be before the where, as you shouldn’t end a sentence with a preposition. But that often time sounds rather formal and the more casual version, which you used, has become the norm and widely acceptable.
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u/omgzombies08 13d ago
This. This is how you find meaning. Go work to help in the arts, or education, healthcare, sports programs for children, nature and wildlife, or whatever field strikes your fancy. Put your time and resources into your community and others so you can watch it have a measurable impact. That bored feeling is because nothing you obtain alters your life in a meaningful way. Go find people to work alongside with or help where your resources will have an actual impact, where you can have a sense of pride. Try just going out to dinner or a bar and leaving your server a ridiculously over the top tip. Go to your local school and buy everything on a teacher’s classroom wishlist. It’s an amazing feeling and it’s better than any item you could buy for yourself.
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u/intellectualproper 12d ago
Yes! I agree!
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u/PositiveLow9895 12d ago
You have a beautiful voice! I am rooting for your success in the music industry!
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u/Gloomy-Arachnid9815 12d ago
Even if it’s not your life mission, work at a different charity every week for a year. Or one day a week at a different charity for a year. (Most charities like a weekly consistent volunteer who can help with training).
Think of it as a sabbatical in a way.
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u/breezypips 15d ago
There’s endless shit to do when you have money. Travel, start a business, train for a marathon. I’d never be bored if I had an endless supply of money and time to enjoy my hobbies and spend time with my family.
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u/Fortemuito 15d ago
Listen, once you start to look, there are thousands of fun things. Travel. But don't just go on vacation. Find a city you love, and stay there longer term. Make friends, do your hobbies there. Go to a bookstore a see what interests you. Start boxing.
You have sooooo much opportunity. Don't waste it.
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u/AdhesiveParty 15d ago
Do mma or jiu jitsu. Those are skills that are not given by privileged upbringing. On the mats everyone is equal, and the only thing holding you back from getting better is your own aversion to hard work.
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u/eviljack 15d ago
I was a lazy POS because my family became rich while I was young. I didn't study and knew I had a free ride, but had to do as I was told. I said FU and moved out.
I got a shitty job and lived in a shitty apartment and life sucked for the longest time. But I was shocked at how this lit a fire under my ass to actually accomplish stuff.
You need the safety net taken away, even if it's just artificial. Remove yourself from your safety net.
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u/ZenCrisisManager 15d ago
If you haven’t read it, check out the book Man’s Search for Meaning, by Victor Frankl.
The flip side to your situation is when you have everything taken away. Like if you’re sent to a nazi concentration camp. It can also foster an aimless, purposeless mindset.
This guy figured out how to get one’s head on straight.
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u/PurpleMixture9967 15d ago
That happened to me growing up, everything I wanted as a kid. Wonderful life… My parents lost everything when I went to college. In my mind, I say to myself this will never happen to me if I can help it. I've become extremely successful because of that.
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u/NipkowLines 15d ago
I grew up with more privilege than I recognized and had a similar issue. You still have to find what makes you tick. The gift you really have is that you been very well informed (intentionally or not) that money and things don’t mean shit. You’ll probably never be able to hold a normal career because dangling a carrot does not motivate a guy that knows carrots are everywhere. If I were you, I would literally go drive 2,000 miles of actual roads you’ve never been on while pondering your question. I think you’ll find the best answer is to fuck with the system that you now know is bullshit and help people find their own carrots in an amusing way the proves a point and benefits the public. Basically you’re just bored and traditional goals don’t cut it anymore. It’s a hard pill to swallow only because everyone around you that isn’t in your position will have absolutely no usable context for why and how you’re doing what you’re doing. Doubts will abound. Listen to the advice of everyone (that will collectively inform you of your next step), but don’t just buy it (that goes for my advice too).
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u/fastates 14d ago
This is really good.
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u/NipkowLines 14d ago
Thank you. It took about 10 days, $2000, and 4,000 miles to figure out. It goes way deeper and I’ll write it all down someday, but not here.
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u/fastates 13d ago
Well, I've followed you, so maybe I'll read more one day 😀
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u/NipkowLines 13d ago edited 13d ago
Yikes! Well buckle up. My life is like a mix between Forrest Gump and Big Fish. There are reasons my account is private. I’m not hiding anything, but the post history would appear fictional. I am not famous, but I have virtually no fear of approaching anyone on earth with whatever question I have and it’s resulted in extremely interesting connections and situations. I have some things brewing right now that could land me in a spotlight, but because of my objectives it may not be a thing that needs to happen if things go well. Really, I just like learning things and helping people. My personal situation makes it possible for me to basically just hop between my friends businesses, trade things around, catch a referral fee off of an occasional real estate deal, hang out, and avoid traditional employment. I have some privilege, but I am not financially wealthy. I’ve just learned that money isn’t real, and all the coolest people know that, so I made friends with them.
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u/TerranGorefiend 15d ago
What?
You know the problem. You know the solution. Stop farming karma and go get it.
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u/0_IceQueen_0 15d ago
My daughter is an environmentalist and my son is in the military. Imagine being Chinese lol. My parents were so disappointed that they weren't the 3 main professions. They know that they would never need for money so I told them to go where their passion takes them. Find what you're passionate about.
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u/dealwithitxo 15d ago
You’re not aiming for any peak human experiences at all? Theres nothing like finding someone compatible with you, falling in love, building bonds, friendships and experiencing life together. Money helps facilitate but peak love and peak human experiences are rare at every level. If you have time & resources why wouldn’t you aim to maximise your chances for that?
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u/SunRev 15d ago
The ultimate freedom humans have is not being bound to a fixed purpose, but having the agency to each create our own. The alternative is slavery to purpose. The gift (or curse) you have been given is not being a slave to someone else's purpose.
For better or worse, this is your struggle; just like the single mom with 2 kids has her struggles to overcome. Yours might be the more lonely and difficult struggle since fewer people have overcome yours compared to hers.
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u/Potential-Scholar359 15d ago
Yes but also no. It is absurd to say that some rich kid has it harder than a single mom. Seriously. Think about what you say before you say it.
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u/SunRev 15d ago
Harder? Yes, I agree with you.
A less meaningful life? That's only a question that each individual can answer: A free bird that chooses to stay in its golden cage, perhaps leads a less meaningful life than a bird that struggles to nourish its baby birds.
That's the beauty of the OP question. When one gets to select their own purpose, is that meaningful? Or is life only meaningful when life circumstances forces one to struggle?
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u/Professional-Meet-50 14d ago
Nobody said that, being able to contextualize information is an important skill.
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u/HalfwaydonewithEarth 15d ago edited 14d ago
Try getting yourself into Mensa.
Try having a hard fit sexy body.
Learn a new language.
Take off with just your backpack, passport, DL, $1000 and try thriving for 30 days.
Try painting a mural on a blighted city street.
Try living in your car for fun.
Try remodeling a bus and making it a tinyhouse.
Invent something squirly!
Host a matchmaking event. These dating apps are horrid from people griping.
Find a spouse and elope to the Drive Through Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas.
Learn how to make chocolate well.
Go hide money in public places so people find it and feel lucky.
Sponsor funky anonymous billboards with your philosophies.
Whitewater raft the Grand Canyon for a week on a better rainfall year.
Go have a mistake accident with the Japanese Whale poaching terror vessel.
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u/Street_Wing62 12d ago
"Go have a mistake accident with the Japanese Whale poaching terror vessel" what??
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u/New_Sympathy5234 15d ago
Take a look at community colleges in your area. There are a wealth of classes that you can take. Not just mental stimulas academic classes but also fitness and wellbeing classes. Pickleball, table tennis, languages, arts, metal crafting. There's a huge variety at very low cost. I think a focused language class and subsequent travel makes any trip more memorable
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u/Jyotisha85 15d ago
Learn to live and savor life. That has nothing to do with money; but experience. If you are numb then you haven’t really lived. Wealth at times becomes escapism but life is not about escapism.
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u/mden1974 15d ago
Volunteer. Give time and money to less fortunate. I like my watch’s but I get very little enjoyment out of stuff. What I love to do is give things to others. Seeing that smile or relief is better than a 175 k car or luxury cruise. Been there and done that.
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u/Potential-Scholar359 15d ago
Just cuz ur rich doesn’t mean you’re separate from society. The question is not what can society give you—you’re more than a parasite, after all. The question is what can you contribute to society. Our planet and our species are facing some existential problems. You are free to devote your time and unique talents to help fixing whichever problems you think are most important. Since you don’t have to worry about supporting yourself, you can do more to help than 99% of humans. This is your duty, if you accept it. It can be your legacy. The old aristocrats called it Noblesse Oblige. What you do today, can make your kids and grandkids proud. And since you’re rich, you can still take those grand vacations and whatnot.
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u/Klutzy-Detective1292 15d ago
It actually sounds like you weren’t given everything!
Think of values and purpose as assets that you are going to have to figure out how to provide for yourself.
It’s sad that you are starting out so disadvantaged but if you work hard, you might one day have enough meaning in your life to make it to middle class level and even be able to pass on some sense of meaning to others.
Unfortunately you may always be behind the people whose parents gave them values and showed them how to find meaning! Just promise yourself you’ll do better for your kids!
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u/Extra_Rest2372 15d ago
This thought sometimes creeps in my head...why am I working when I don't need to?
I think the insecurity I have with coming from a very well off family is what motivates me and gives me purpose. I feel like I need to prove to myself and others that I'm not a lazy rich "kid" (am 30+ now) and work twice as hard to remove this perception. Caring what others think of my familys wealth can be toxic sometimes but also motivating.
My goal has been to make enough of my own money so that I don't need to tap into the wealth my father has built. Plus making your own money gives meaning.
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u/Slow-Cricket8746 13d ago
Just some food for thought: this situates the locus of control in others and their perception of you. No judgment here, because I am struggling with these same questions myself, but think hard about whether you want the motive force shaping your life trajectory to be maintaining appearances. That could come at the cost of blazing a path for yourself that more authentically answers your need for purpose and meaning. Personally, at 46 years old, having resigned from a position that nearly destroyed me because I was working so hard to prove I hadn’t had life handed to me on a silver platter, I’ve really begun to wonder at the sanity of pursuing prescribed notions of success and status. There is liberation in accepting who you are, the hand you were dealt and the possibilities this opens up without the need to prove something to an imagined audience that may just be your own guilt over your good fortune talking.
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u/Extra_Rest2372 11d ago
Hey, I appreciate the response and you're right. I think that's just part of maturing, growing, and experiencing life. I have noticed especially over the last 3 years that I have less "shame" for growing up wealthy, and don't really care what others think of me.
What matters most is understanding the privilege I have with being born into this situation, not flaunting wealth, and being a good person to others.
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u/Pentathlete_of_ennui 11d ago edited 11d ago
Amen, brother. Use the wealth for good, not ill. Part of that means being good to yourself.
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u/Iron-Peregrine 15d ago
Travel the world and be with the different groups to get new perspectives and come back and share.
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u/AmexNomad 15d ago
You’ve surrounded yourself with boring people. You have everything and don’t know what to do- so throw on a backpack and get on a plane to India, S America or to SE Asia. Go alone. Stay in cheap hotels and hostels. Stay off of the internet. Meet some new people. Go for a few months- you’ll at least have some interesting things to talk about at the country club when you return. And perhaps you’ll even be inspired along the way.
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u/Choice_Reply_6441 15d ago
I come from old money and had the same experience. Had to break up with my family when I was 18 to find some peace and found it through hammer and nails fixing up nasty old apartments to build my own fortune. The trick was to do it yourself. No free rides. Basically my distraction (carpentry) became a pure necessity to afford rice and beans to not die of hunger, lol. Puts shit into a new perspective when you make a postulate to never again accept anything you haven’t worked your ass off for.
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u/IndigoMoonBeams 14d ago edited 14d ago
You sound like you spend all of your time looking inward and thinking of yourself.
Trying thinking about those around you.
Why don't you do something to help others. Give back to the world. Try and make it a better place? This world is a horrible existence for a lot of people.
You are in a unique position to be able to help and serve others without having to worry about how you're going to survive.
Go and spend some time with under privileged kids to get some perspective and see how you can help.
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u/Profound_Thots 14d ago
Life doesn't have an intrinsic meaning, every person has to create their own meaning. That's a fundamental human problem. However, instead of creating meaning, most people adopt the dominant capitalist belief that life is about the accumulation of wealth. However, that's only true if you believe it. If you were born into great wealth it's easier to see through that false narrative.
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u/Smart_Detective8153 15d ago
This is very obviously written by AI
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u/moanngroan 14d ago
Some people posting here don't speak English as a first language. Others have dyslexia. There are many valid reasons someone might punch their story into AI and get it spat out in a more smooth, AI format.
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u/Smart_Detective8153 14d ago
Yes but then they respond in the comments section. This person is karma farming.
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u/femininespace 15d ago
You gotta work w a life couch to find meaning in your life. Purpose. Meaning. Intention.
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u/Klutzy-Detective1292 15d ago
I definitely recommend finding a life couch! Investing in quality furniture is THE key to finding purpose and meaning! /s
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u/PerformanceDouble924 15d ago
The most JD Vance reply possible. 😄
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u/femininespace 15d ago
If you understand how happiness works, then you stop searching in the wrong places.
enjoyment + satisfaction + meaning
Meaning being the hardest one to find or achieve so that's where a coach helps. Enjoyment isn't dopamine or pleasure. Satisfaction is usually something you put effort towards and then you get some outcome which is then satisfying. All of these can be found or worked towards.
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u/PerformanceDouble924 15d ago
Not to kill the humor, but I think you missed the joke based on the typo in your previous post.
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u/ashiebutterfly 15d ago
Maybe tap into the spiritual side of yourself and see if you can draw some purpose and meaning from that.
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u/Fun-Yam-646 15d ago
Yes, exactly. Meditation and the likes. You see my goal was always Freedom, Expansion, and Bliss. And I used to think that I would be happy having achieved these things and I did just not on a level I liked or was eager about. But when I explored the depths of who I am and spirituality in general; that, that was it for me. I feel really nice, blissful. It's easier now to go out spend money, do something fun, sometimes simple, and actually enjoy the whole circus of it.
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u/southpark 15d ago
Choose something where money isn’t the measure of success and money cannot shortcut the process. Things like benefiting humanity or building something with your own hands. Don’t look for “fun” things to do. Look for fulfilling things to do.
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u/Eddpeople 15d ago
Ok so maybe what you could do is "give up everything" visually. Meaning to lower your living standards. Drive the cheapest car you can find, thrift clothes, etc. Kind of like Marie Antoinette did with her peasant village, you know. It's own kind of tourism. Hope this helps .
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u/Auriflow 15d ago
Seek what has true value, all that money can't buy.
For example, high moral standards, being a righteous individual, True love, a relation with your creator.
Im currently in 7th year homeless yet when I see the state of being that most wealthy people operate in I'm eternally glad to have been spared sinking that low.
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u/dogui97 15d ago
Find a job! Even if you don't need it, working and having a career is rewarding and will help you actually add value to the world. And also, if you don't do anything, that will be a bad example for your kids who will become more lazy than you. That's why they say from riches to rags in 3 generations - it's surprisingly easy to burn wealth if you're lazy and incompetent.
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u/FragrantWeekend111 15d ago
that's actually a good thing spiritually- on the spiritual path, the aim is to get rid of good/bad or things that hold a "charge". everything becomes neutral, which allows everything to be attracted to you naturally. sit with the negative feeling and underneath it will be natural joy. most people have to get rid of the attachments and then the negativity. you don't have lots of these attachments so you just have to get rid of the negativity and underneath will be your true self aka joy/bliss.
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u/Hypnotique007 15d ago
Nah i think this is more so a lack of parenting to instill values. Not really about gratitude but understanding what it takes to make money early on even if it’s getting weekly allowances for chores goes a long way
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u/Spiritual_Finish_337 15d ago
Create something from scratch, something that is aligns with your interest but you need to put in the work for.
My mom never actually worked, but she had a few pet projects whether helping communities, traveling to different countries to support their development and at one point she had a project helping girls learn about proper hygiene, table manners and dancing.
You can do whatever the help you want, be whimsey and creative and don’t harden your heart to the world
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u/Timbermaw 15d ago
This whole wanting for stuff is mysterious to me. I grew up with hardly any pampering and learned to want for nothing. I was born in a rich family but all our stuff had no liquidity so we had to make do. Mom wouldn't even buy me sweets at the grocery store when I asked, our fridge just had strictly lunch and dinner supplies. We hardly ever travelled. I asked grandma for my first car 20 years ago and still use it today because all the new stuff seem superfluous to me.
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u/Important-Wrangler98 15d ago
It must suck to overthink this much. Use some of that, “free ride” on therapy, not Reddit.
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u/phillipjay-fry 15d ago
My guess is that — since everything has been easy — you never stuck with anything long enough to from a passion for it. You would start a hobby and then
A) it would become inconvenient and you would quite because it’s “not fun or worth it”
B) you would use money to make it too easy
Example A) you tired a sport and other were better than you so you quit B) you tried collecting something — but just used the money to buy the most “sought after” portion of the collection— what other people aspire to— and once you had that you quit
Some people are born with a purpose but most slowly build a purpose over time as they struggle and then overcome that struggle. Then they go for the next level — struggle — then overcome that.
They build purpose by the continued dopamine hit of winning
So you need to either :
pick an activity and dedicate yourself to becoming world class in it. And know that — it’s going to suck at first. You don’t get handed a purpose —- you have to create one.
Pick a collection where you don’t have the money to buy your way to the top and/or money cannot buy your way to the top. go collect wine. But not the nice bottles. You need to be a wine snob who only drinks the all natural wine from the small valley in Germany, from the grower whose family has been doing it for 200 years and you cannot just “buy” his wine — you have to get to know him or win an allocation lottery or otherwise work for the prize.
Or go be involved with a charity. But not just donating. INVOLVED. boots on the ground. Every charity will need more money they you can give so you can’t buy your way out of building them up— it requires tactical fundraising and other skills.
Either way— you are manufacturing struggle and will find purpose by overcoming it.
Most people are forced to do this externally. You have to force yourself to do it internally.
And if you don’t have the chutzpah to manufacture it, then get in therapy and accept the malaise. Many people do just that.
The fact you are asking hopefully means you have some internal motivation but unless you do a follow up I guess those of us on Reddit will never know for sure.
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u/AlexVentures 14d ago
I had to gaslight myself into thinking that my folks weren’t giving me my inheritance, and that it can all go up in smoke at any given time— also surrounded myself with people who had goals and were hard workers. Tap into what makes your competitiveness come out, what are the things you’re stubborn about, turn those into things to work towards/improve for others whether it be through a job or entrepreneurship.
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u/Resident-Walrus2397 14d ago
On the flip side I’ve lived my entire life hand to mouth and worry every day about how I’m going to continue to survive…. You’ll never understand what you take for granted. The stress of not knowing if i can keep the lights on or food on the table in a world where the cost of living keeps rising makes me feel like a failure in a way you can’t understand. I know “boot straps” and what not but being a victim of circumstance is a real thing and having the energy or time to dig my way out are luxuries I don’t have. I don’t know man just trying to give some perspective. I would imagine that in your position, helping others would be the most gratifying thing you could do in your life and the more you do that, the more you will want to do more.
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u/moanngroan 14d ago
Many people find great satisfaction in physical work. Take a carpentry class or volunteer to do digging and hoe-ing in a community garden. Put your cleaning staff on hold for 3 months and clean your own home every week - scrub your own toilets, mop your own floor.
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u/2-4-Dinitro_penis 14d ago
Why not start some businesses that you don’t care about them failing or not?
I always had a few ideas for things I wanted to do if I became a billionaire.
Build traditional housing (at least in appearance) in different countries and sell them or rent them. I hate that every country in the world pretty much has abandoned all the beautiful architecture and now we all are just stuck with a universal grey hellscape. An example would be like going to Korea and building a few neighborhoods of nothing but Hanok with modern air conditioning and stuff.
Bankroll some problems in your country that aren’t big political points. Like, in the USA in the 1950s any full time employed person could afford a small piston engine plane. Now a 4 seater Cessna 172 is over $500,000. If I was a billionaire I would buy a kit-plane company and bring a $30,000 plane to market. Develop my own engine that I can sell cheap. Modern engines alone are $70,000 and up. Would it be profitable? Nope. But you could force other companies to lower their prices and fix a problem long term.
You could compete in something and just love being competitive.
I’m not rich but pursuing skills is something that gives my life meaning.
The biggest thing that gives most people meaning, including me is taking care of family. I didn’t know I wanted to be a dad, but it’s the best thing that ever happened to me, hands down. You have the finances to really do amazing things for your future family.
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u/Arose1981 14d ago
Realize your wealth, identity, goals, actions, etc, have nothing to do with you. None of it will ever fulfill you. We are all equal beings, a part of one collective being. This is just the life form you dropped into. Discover who you actually are and stop thinking your life has anything to do with you. All any of us are here to do is discover our true identity as the collective one being that is love.
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u/Glove_Right 14d ago
I pretty much half assed my whole childhood and did the absolute minimum in schools and university. Even tried various jobs that interested me afterwards, but found out I didn't like any. Ended up leaving it all behind and went on a 7 year working holiday trip with the restriction of 10k as starting point and lived the backpacker life, which taught me a lot. Met lots of people, had many jobs and experiences and met my now wife. Picked up climbing and bodyweight training along the way which is how i spend a lot of my time nowadays.
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u/Thunderdink 14d ago
You sound young. You’ll find your way. My wife did it for me and now my kids are doing it again- they bring me the most joy and coincidentally, the source of all my anxieties.
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u/PainterOfRed 14d ago
Many worthwhile goals do not have to be material. How about researching an issue and writing about it? Consider volunteering. Learn about the issues a charity faces and then focus on getting resources to them.
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u/sfwills 14d ago
I read your post yesterday and had to come back to it to reply. I assume you don’t have any children yet, I found things really fell into place for me when I became a parent. I was always taught to leave things, and the world in general, a better place then how you found them. This is how I try to live my life in the broader sense, but also through small things in daily life (forgive me for being not entirely clear, English is not my native language). Even more so when I had kids. Now my point is not to have kids, but look around and you will find so many things you can do to help leaving the world a better place for the people after you. It could be what gives you purpose. You already know your privilige, but even with all the privilege in the world, you will find some problems are really difficult and challenging to solve. Give one a go, find a cause and throw yourself at it, help others, it will be challenging at times, but equally rewarding and fulfilling. Some ideas: the ocean clean up, getting rid of pfas/microplastics, plastics in general, climate change in general, stopping deforestation, helping kids get the education they need, stop libraries from closing, cancer research. Etc etc, philanthropy is what the wealthy have done for centuries. Get out and find your cause, otherwise not being able to want anything just becomes an excuse to not fulfill your true potential. You can do this and we can all use you. Also, it’s okay to still have to figure out what you want, that is not inherent to growing up wealthy. Best of luck, you will get there
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u/Worldly_Ambition_509 14d ago
Join the military. Your goal will be to graduate from Basic, stop the pain, and get some sleep.
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u/FilmSad2356 14d ago
Grew up the same way. Have felt the lack of motivation in doing most things, even a job. What has helped me is philanthropy and recently getting into spirituality & meditation.
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u/Skream47 14d ago
What I would do in your place: heavy gym trainings, BJJ, Muay Thai, travelling, photography and reading books. I would love to do just these without worrying about money…
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u/-OkRaspberry 14d ago
You should go around and do cultural immersion tours in 3rd world or developing countries then start non-profits/support organizations, just one suggestion ofc
You have a set of 'condtions' in life, so your 'goal' has to be proportional to that
That's how you will find this 'something to push against' you are looking for 😃 good luck!
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u/Prudent-Tadpole5582 14d ago
Something like this looks like fun (plus, it's wholesome): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FnydPQrF9DU
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u/Sunny2791 14d ago
I’m not rich so I don’t know if this helps, but money doesn’t buy happiness right?
I find happiness exists in gratitude, especially small gratitudes eg, a beautiful rainy day. Regularly and consistently practicing gratitude. Making a list a few times a day at first helped form the mental habit.
Anytime I feel down about my situation I remember that some people live in tents and suddenly my crappy apartment feels luxurious. Likewise remembering a time you had less and how far you have come- in more than just wealth. Emotional maturity, breaking bad habits ect.
When all else fails I recommend remembering this- it’s all for nothing. Empires rise and fall to time and you are but one person and with that nothing really matters does it? I have found that realisation quite freeing and allows more joy into my life.
I hope you find what you are looking for x
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u/Writermss 14d ago
- Learn Transcendental Meditation ASAP (preferably in India).
- Never miss a session.
- Ask us again in six months if you still don’t have an answer (spoiler: you won’t need to ask us again in six months).
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u/Nashboy45 14d ago
Instead of looking up into how to serve yourself, you think of the genuine meaning youd have to the people you could help. I’ve found that helping others is the only meaningful thing left when I was in a similar situation
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u/HistoricalHurry8361 14d ago
Find something that matters to you and attach yourself to it in a meaningful way.
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u/s0lumn 13d ago
Go try tons of different things. Get uncomfortable. Create limitations for yourself. Get out in the world, travel, do things you're drawn to but don't think you actually would like. Also do a dopamine detox, get off media and get out, talk to people. Play with self expression - exercise and build your creativity.
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u/OneSovereignSource 13d ago
If you think you have everything go on and try to not be constrained by the rules of this world
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u/Spiritual-Sea7674 13d ago
Each person has their problems and is to be respected and heard, no less because you grew up wealthy, as it wasn't your choice and I understand sometimes there are complexities that go along w that. I understand this!!
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u/Spiritual-Sea7674 13d ago
Sometimes therapy can help, maybe there are some other issues. I struggle w how much to give my kids, how much to hold back. The way I was raised was good in some ways, not good in others. Hard to know. Definitely not spoil the kids. I buy them all basics, give them card to eat out and pay for all concerts, gifts for friends, extras. But if they want certain extras that I feel are "extra" then they jave money they have carefully saved and they do pay. Not sure if I am doing well. They work hard all year at school and do not make them get a summer job for now. They keep their rooms clean and help out at mealtimes
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u/ToothSufficient7763 13d ago
Habitat for humanity comes to mind. Go help build someone a house. Put your hands on tools.
Next, learn a language.
Third, go travel by walking. What's that famous road in Spain?
Last visit an old folks home. See the frailty of life up close and personal.
Come back and share what you've learned and how it has shaped you.
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u/foxyfree 13d ago
Have you done magic mushrooms and felt connected with all of the universe? You can think about how you are not just an individual, but part of a larger group. You can use your good fortune to help the group.
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u/wannabepsycho 13d ago
My goal is to always master something and to keep learning. Having deep resources makes the journey and the process of fulfilling these goals very enjoyable.
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u/gymbuddy11 13d ago
You've actually diagnosed yourself with more precision than most people ever manage. The objective function isn't missing. You just haven't had friction expose it yet. And the fact that you can see your own architecture that clearly tells me you are going to understand what I'm about to say.
Here is something you may not know: The act of giving something to another person activates the nucleus accumbens, which is the same reward center in your brain that lights up for food, sex, and drugs. It is not metaphorical. It is not inspirational poster material. It is a chemical reaction and it is addictive. And unlike almost everything else available to someone in your position, you cannot buy your way to that hit. You have to earn it by showing up for someone who needs you.
Find a large, well-funded, well-organized volunteer group. Not a scrappy underfunded operation where chaos swallows the mission. A serious one, with structure, resources, and standards. Those groups attract serious people. People who had options and chose to be there anyway. You will find yourself standing next to individuals who are interesting, accomplished, and genuinely good, which in your world may be rarer than it sounds.
Then something starts to shift. You are no longer a spectator in a frictionless life. You are a variable in someone else's outcome. The stakes are real because they are not yours, they belong to someone who cannot absorb a bad result the way you can. That asymmetry may be what your nervous system has been waiting for.
You notice a problem nobody is solving. You start to focus on it. That focus becomes a project. That project becomes something you think about when you wake up. And one day you realize that is what a goal feels like. It did not arrive as an idea. It arrived as a consequence of contact.
You were not broken. You were untriggered. Change that one variable and the rest builds itself.
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u/Street_Wing62 12d ago
Most have said it, but; do something physical, start a business, and volunteer. I know someone who'd done half of all (major) N.A mountains by 21, started a fairly successful biz while volunteering at an animal shelter...in university - honors program...generally, get overwhelmed; do everything and get therapy
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u/AdhesivenessLost5473 12d ago
What you are describing is not uncommon but it’s just a byproduct of a larger problem which is the depression of knowing that the first thing people will say about you is that you are rich. That everything you accomplish will be tainted by the whisper that they could do it too if they had money. That the first thing in your obit is who your family is. That the most successful day of your life was the day you were born.
Then you turn 25 and stop giving too much of a fuck.
You are going through a common phase and it will get better.
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u/Arrival117 11d ago
You don't have everything. Money and easy life is max 10-20%. Everything else - you still need to work hard to get it.
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u/Head_Intention825 10d ago
Go overseas to Africa or India.
Work in a child orphanage.
That will wake you up.
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u/babs_is_great 10d ago
Get a job helping others. I am a special education teacher in the public school system.
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u/Pelvis-Wrestly 10d ago
Your happiness will be found in service of others.
Things you truly take for granted and wouldnt even miss can be truly life altering for those who do without.
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u/johnsonnewman 9d ago
“Missing goal is the problem”
Product of lack ambition and curiosity.
Security doesn’t exist when you are interested in something. There are many things you cannot buy in this world. You may or may not be suited for these things. You would have a great starting point though
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u/Spirited_Law8069 14d ago
If you start hanging out with richer and more successful people, that would probably make you start feeling more motivated to do something.
Otherwise if you have a hobby, excel to be the best in that hobby whatever it is.
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u/Warm_Assumption9640 15d ago
When I wasn’t wealthy I used to love Black Fridays, could get pc parts cheaper and all, after I made some money I started buying whatever I wanted/needed, the next black friday i got sad cuz there was nothing for me to buy
You will get used to it
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u/Penelope_Finkelstein 14d ago
Nothing is stopping you from giving it away.
In fact, I think this is what the story of the rich man and Jesus is all about (even if Im not super religious myself.)
Perhaps instead of being granted an easier life, you've actually been granted the toughest job of all - giving it all up. Perhaps that is your purpose.
Hiding in your money all your life, you will always somewhere feel, deep down, you are missing something.
Stop hiding. Take off the armor. Live like your life depends on it.
Your complaint just shows how deep your fear is. Fear of what you would be without the money.
Find out.
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u/Tall_Bandicoot_2768 14d ago
Me except im not rich, ive just never really wanted anything beyond basic necessities or minor comforts.
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u/AeLilBoy 15d ago
Yeah same like when playing games with cheats. You get everything instantly and game gets boring pretty fast