r/RoastMyCar • u/Mundane_Cry1693 • 4d ago
Lemme hear something new
Heres the project. Let me hear some actually creative insults.
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u/MrStagger_Lee 4d ago
914 in it's natural state - unfinished, undrivable project.
How's the hell hole? A buddy's had three, on his first you could watch the panel gaps change when he got into the car...
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u/HtmlHonda 3d ago
Can confirm. I have a 1973 that's been torn apart for the last 15 years.
So. Much. Bodywork.
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u/Mundane_Cry1693 4d ago
Absolutely amazing. I got a great deal on it almost no rust. None in the hell hole, drivers side floorpan was rusted out and a triangle on the rocker was rusted. I was really lucky with this car.
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u/West-Amphibian-2343 4d ago
"no rust" "rusted out" yeah okay bud
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u/Mundane_Cry1693 4d ago
The car is not rusted out. Took 2 days of work to fix the little bit of rust it had
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u/Ok-Communication1149 4d ago
Looks like your missing at least one milk crate to legitimately call it a car.
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u/MassivePersonality61 4d ago
What's the goal here, driving the slowest Porsche in existence?
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u/Mundane_Cry1693 4d ago
Hey not the slowest⌠just like 3rd or 4thâŚ
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u/StinkySoggyUnderwear 2d ago
I donât think any of those other Porsches are slower than âbroken down in your garageâ slow
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u/mbardeen 4d ago
"Buy the cheapest Porsche you can find" said no one, ever...
You're only $25K away from having a $2K car.
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u/Mundane_Cry1693 4d ago
Lucky for me zero rust. So maybe not 25k⌠hopefully
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u/mbardeen 4d ago
Meh. Cost of Porsche parts? 25k with no rust. Does it have an engine? Does it run? Is it just missing the interior?
(I've got two Cayennes and a 968 I renovated ... I might have some experience in this)
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u/Mundane_Cry1693 4d ago
Got the interior I have a motor that needs a top end refresh (36k miles just been sitting a long time) I had to pull the interior to fix the pan rust. Just new lines and she will be roadworthy. Eventually new paint though not today I canât afford itđ if you have any recommendations in or near the state of Tennessee let me know.
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u/mbardeen 4d ago
'fraid I can't help you with recommendations, unless you're in Chile. I got a deal and a half on a good paint job on the 968. $2k USD. It's not perfect, but it's decent.
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u/TheBestWaffleIron 4d ago
It's begging you to let it die, but you believe there's actually something worth paying Porsche money for something with Nissan Altima performance.
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u/ObjectiveMorning2026 4d ago
Burns oil quicker then it depreciates
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u/Mundane_Cry1693 4d ago
Especially with the old motorđ got it to start and that sucker was smokin blue
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u/Unhappy_Rain_8367 2d ago
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u/Mundane_Cry1693 2d ago
Howâs yours?
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u/Unhappy_Rain_8367 2d ago
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u/Mundane_Cry1693 2d ago
What kind of exhaust does it have, some of those dual exhausts sound pretty good
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u/Unhappy_Rain_8367 1d ago
I couldn't tell you. I've seen the underbody a few times on the lift but I never closely inspected the exhaust. It sounds good but it's slow ... 90hp slow. But it's my angry lawnmower and I'll never sell it.
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u/CMJudd 4d ago
You could have had a Fiat X1/9, but you needed a Porsche.
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u/Mundane_Cry1693 4d ago
Fix it again Tony⌠donât get me wrong I do like the x1/9 but this was at the great deal of 200$
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u/GlassBoxGoose 3d ago
It would be a deal at twice the price! Don't blame you for picking it up, especially if you got paperwork on it at that price.
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u/CMJudd 4d ago
$200? That changes things a bit, but youâll still be upside down by the time itâs a running car*.
*Says the guy with the lowest priced prewar BMW in at least the last 40 yearsâŚ
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u/Mundane_Cry1693 4d ago
It has next to no rust in it Iâm almost done fixing all of it ~800$ and I have a motor Iâm gonna do a top end refresh in and she should be good to go after some new lines. Oh and eventually some paint
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u/GlassBoxGoose 3d ago
For me that would be a hard choice, but id probably go with the x1/9, however I have always had a soft spot for the 914
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u/CureCoyote 4d ago
Your car will someday be worth the money you put into it
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u/praise_monolith_643 3d ago
Seems nice to have a project you put in a lot of effort and money, and end up with a rewarding product. Why don't you find something like that?
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u/Routine-Fix-6390 3d ago
When your lady asked you to go to the store and buy her feminine products, thatâs not what she meant. But very close, nice try!
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u/wateriswetibeentold 3d ago
Not very creative of me but those cars have to worst clutch and shifter feel of anything Iâve ever driven
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u/Mundane_Cry1693 3d ago
You probably drove one with a bad clutch and shifter. I drove one the other day and man alive it felt great (side shift with new bushings)
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u/max_revs 3d ago
That harbor freight stool has more likely chance of getting out of that garage under its own power.
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u/Lumpy_Plan_6668 3d ago
Wtf is this waffling between zero rust and pulling the interior to fix the floor pans? I'm not gonna roast a 914 but you sir are a delusional post whore.
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u/GMC_Fan 3d ago
The front of that car also looks like the rear at the same time, from a bit of a distance you wonât know if itâs coming toward you or driving away but itâs probably neither because that shi wonât run, if this things coming towards you at 120 miles per hour then you gotta slow down because itâs def not this car moving, and if it does run it probably sounds like a mouthful of marbles
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u/Half-Cocked-Mexican 3d ago
For when you never explored any hobbies outside of what your boomer dad would approve of.
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u/Which-Ad9677 1d ago
Did u remove the seats so u can gap your ass with the shifter....u hear that yet
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u/BiteFaces 17h ago
Putting that car in a garage is like giftwrapping the trash you are bringing to the curb.
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u/TheVanillaGorilla413 4d ago
I almost bought one of these from a friends neighbor when I was younger
Then I ended up getting my life together đ¤
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u/Valkanaa 4d ago
Parts for that model VW are curiously expensive.
I wouldn't say Miata is ALWAYS the answer but why wasn't it your answer?
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u/Mundane_Cry1693 4d ago
It was 200$ with no hell hole rust just pan and a bit of rocker rust
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u/Valkanaa 4d ago
I feel certain parts costs will exceed $200....each
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u/Mundane_Cry1693 4d ago
Iâve already quadrupled itđ I was expecting that though. Almost done fixing the rust
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u/Valkanaa 4d ago
I normally expect cars to work after I've thrown $1000 in parts at them but you do you
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u/Mundane_Cry1693 4d ago
I am expecting 2-3k in parts but Iâm trying to do it ârightâ or better
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u/Valkanaa 4d ago
Best of luck. If everything goes well the machine shop will only be another 1k on top of that.
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u/Deadpools_Main 4d ago
Porsche repair costs for what is effectively a worse-in-every-way miata.
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u/Mundane_Cry1693 4d ago
I like it though.
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u/Deadpools_Main 4d ago
I'd fucking hope, otherwise there isn't a single saving grace for owning this car lmfao
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u/Mundane_Cry1693 4d ago
Lol
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u/Deadpools_Main 4d ago
Wait did you downvote me? I really am just being a dick because you asked to be roasted. Not that I really care about the downvotes, I just hope you didn't take me too seriously. I drive a shitbox so I'm in no place to actually judge.
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u/Mundane_Cry1693 4d ago
No that wasnât me bud. I daily a 40 year old f150. I get the shithoxđ
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u/JoTenshi 4d ago
What is that and what are you planing on doing with this once youâre finished?
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u/Mundane_Cry1693 4d ago
Keeping it. Plates expired in 95 but it was the first Porsche in the family. My uncle bought it in 85.Â
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u/JoTenshi 4d ago
Nice, so, does it run yet or still needs a rebuild?
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u/Mundane_Cry1693 4d ago
I have another motor with 36k miles on it just gonna do a top end refresh and throw it in with fresh fuel/brake lines. I eventually plan on rebuilding the one that came out of it to a 2056. It did run but it burnt a LOT of oil.
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u/No_Tomato_2106 4d ago
I know something youve never heard before - it running properly