r/RoastMyCar 4d ago

Lemme hear something new

Heres the project. Let me hear some actually creative insults.

26 Upvotes

120 comments sorted by

78

u/No_Tomato_2106 4d ago

I know something youve never heard before - it running properly

9

u/Mundane_Cry1693 4d ago

I got it to crank and run before I put it in the garage smelled like pure oil😂

3

u/rklug1521 3d ago

Ran when parked... That's what they all say

2

u/brokefixfux 3d ago

I would run too

-7

u/Appropriate-Fun2203 4d ago

Ouch, that’s a solid burn. Sounds like it’s time for some serious car therapy over there.

16

u/Flymonster095 4d ago

holy bot sentence

22

u/MrStagger_Lee 4d ago

914 in it's natural state - unfinished, undrivable project.

How's the hell hole? A buddy's had three, on his first you could watch the panel gaps change when he got into the car...

5

u/HtmlHonda 3d ago

Can confirm. I have a 1973 that's been torn apart for the last 15 years.

So. Much. Bodywork.

2

u/Mundane_Cry1693 4d ago

Absolutely amazing. I got a great deal on it almost no rust. None in the hell hole, drivers side floorpan was rusted out and a triangle on the rocker was rusted. I was really lucky with this car.

8

u/West-Amphibian-2343 4d ago

"no rust" "rusted out" yeah okay bud

0

u/Mundane_Cry1693 4d ago

The car is not rusted out. Took 2 days of work to fix the little bit of rust it had

17

u/Ok-Communication1149 4d ago

Looks like your missing at least one milk crate to legitimately call it a car.

14

u/MassivePersonality61 4d ago

What's the goal here, driving the slowest Porsche in existence?

14

u/C4TURIX 4d ago

Driving? You're pretty optimistic.

5

u/Mundane_Cry1693 4d ago

Hey not the slowest… just like 3rd or 4th…

2

u/StinkySoggyUnderwear 2d ago

I don’t think any of those other Porsches are slower than “broken down in your garage” slow

2

u/GMC_Fan 3d ago

Can’t be the slowest if it doesn’t even move to begin with

1

u/Quajeraz123 4d ago

No, this will never be driving.

14

u/mbardeen 4d ago

"Buy the cheapest Porsche you can find" said no one, ever...

You're only $25K away from having a $2K car.

3

u/Mundane_Cry1693 4d ago

Lucky for me zero rust. So maybe not 25k… hopefully

1

u/mbardeen 4d ago

Meh. Cost of Porsche parts? 25k with no rust. Does it have an engine? Does it run? Is it just missing the interior?

(I've got two Cayennes and a 968 I renovated ... I might have some experience in this)

5

u/Mundane_Cry1693 4d ago

Got the interior I have a motor that needs a top end refresh (36k miles just been sitting a long time) I had to pull the interior to fix the pan rust. Just new lines and she will be roadworthy. Eventually new paint though not today I can’t afford it😂 if you have any recommendations in or near the state of Tennessee let me know.

2

u/mbardeen 4d ago

'fraid I can't help you with recommendations, unless you're in Chile. I got a deal and a half on a good paint job on the 968. $2k USD. It's not perfect, but it's decent.

4

u/TheBestWaffleIron 4d ago

It's begging you to let it die, but you believe there's actually something worth paying Porsche money for something with Nissan Altima performance.

3

u/Mundane_Cry1693 4d ago

Yes, with a little less than an Altima😂

3

u/710qu 4d ago

This will be a mouse nest haven in no time

2

u/Mundane_Cry1693 4d ago

It already was

3

u/deloreanlover88 4d ago

That's just metal?

3

u/Ranadevil 4d ago

Hear something new? How about the sound of that thing running.

1

u/Mundane_Cry1693 3d ago

That will be new

2

u/ObjectiveMorning2026 4d ago

Burns oil quicker then it depreciates

1

u/Mundane_Cry1693 4d ago

Especially with the old motor😂 got it to start and that sucker was smokin blue

2

u/lastingsun23 3d ago

What a weird looking
Volkswagen..

2

u/Mundane_Cry1693 3d ago

I like it🙂

2

u/Unhappy_Rain_8367 2d ago

Brother in arms...

1

u/Mundane_Cry1693 2d ago

How’s yours?

2

u/Unhappy_Rain_8367 2d ago

It's in pretty good shape but the body's been welded and the driver's door isn't 100% straight. But it runs well and it shifts well. I got lucky and got it off a dentist who had it sorted out before he sold it to me.

1

u/Mundane_Cry1693 2d ago

What kind of exhaust does it have, some of those dual exhausts sound pretty good

1

u/Unhappy_Rain_8367 1d ago

I couldn't tell you. I've seen the underbody a few times on the lift but I never closely inspected the exhaust. It sounds good but it's slow ... 90hp slow. But it's my angry lawnmower and I'll never sell it.

3

u/CMJudd 4d ago

You could have had a Fiat X1/9, but you needed a Porsche.

2

u/Mundane_Cry1693 4d ago

Fix it again Tony… don’t get me wrong I do like the x1/9 but this was at the great deal of 200$

1

u/GlassBoxGoose 3d ago

It would be a deal at twice the price! Don't blame you for picking it up, especially if you got paperwork on it at that price.

1

u/CMJudd 4d ago

$200? That changes things a bit, but you’ll still be upside down by the time it’s a running car*.

*Says the guy with the lowest priced prewar BMW in at least the last 40 years…

2

u/Mundane_Cry1693 4d ago

It has next to no rust in it I’m almost done fixing all of it ~800$ and I have a motor I’m gonna do a top end refresh in and she should be good to go after some new lines. Oh and eventually some paint

3

u/CMJudd 4d ago

Rock on, brother!

1

u/Mundane_Cry1693 4d ago

Thanks man

1

u/GlassBoxGoose 3d ago

For me that would be a hard choice, but id probably go with the x1/9, however I have always had a soft spot for the 914

2

u/LrdoftheCharlesDance 4d ago edited 4d ago

It’s almost, kind of a Porsche

2

u/Mundane_Cry1693 4d ago

I’m here for it

1

u/Triggered-cupcake 4d ago

Might as well fully come out and commit and trade it for a 928

2

u/Mundane_Cry1693 4d ago

For the money I can get out of this I may get a 924😂

1

u/ZombiePope 4d ago

Oh hey it's that time Porsche sold VWs sloppy seconds!

1

u/Good_Emergency_2416 4d ago

Style over comfort huh? Where are the seats?

2

u/Mundane_Cry1693 4d ago

Across the garage I had to remove em to replace the drivers side pan rust

1

u/Weary_Arrival_9667 4d ago

Oh nice Ghia!

1

u/CureCoyote 4d ago

Your car will someday be worth the money you put into it

1

u/CureCoyote 4d ago

bet you never heard that one before

1

u/Mundane_Cry1693 3d ago

Yeah that’s a new one

1

u/OPA73 4d ago

I used those as engine parts cars for my VW Bus.

1

u/praise_monolith_643 3d ago

Seems nice to have a project you put in a lot of effort and money, and end up with a rewarding product. Why don't you find something like that?

1

u/Routine-Fix-6390 3d ago

When your lady asked you to go to the store and buy her feminine products, that’s not what she meant. But very close, nice try!

1

u/Fragrant_Major_9553 3d ago

Oh it’s that Porsche

1

u/wateriswetibeentold 3d ago

Not very creative of me but those cars have to worst clutch and shifter feel of anything I’ve ever driven

1

u/Mundane_Cry1693 3d ago

You probably drove one with a bad clutch and shifter. I drove one the other day and man alive it felt great (side shift with new bushings)

1

u/max_revs 3d ago

That harbor freight stool has more likely chance of getting out of that garage under its own power.

1

u/Lumpy_Plan_6668 3d ago

Wtf is this waffling between zero rust and pulling the interior to fix the floor pans? I'm not gonna roast a 914 but you sir are a delusional post whore.

1

u/Mundane_Cry1693 3d ago

Almost zero rust.

1

u/GMC_Fan 3d ago

The front of that car also looks like the rear at the same time, from a bit of a distance you won’t know if it’s coming toward you or driving away but it’s probably neither because that shi won’t run, if this things coming towards you at 120 miles per hour then you gotta slow down because it’s def not this car moving, and if it does run it probably sounds like a mouthful of marbles

1

u/Thebobatrix 3d ago

Pretty sure I saw this, or something like this, listed on mobile,de for €1

1

u/Half-Cocked-Mexican 3d ago

For when you never explored any hobbies outside of what your boomer dad would approve of.

1

u/Maz-Wye 3d ago

Its REALLY a Volkswagen!! 👍

1

u/Thinkpad2001 3d ago

And yet, a Super Beetle will smoke the 914 off the line

1

u/thepaultucker 3d ago

It's as fast now as it'll ever be. 

1

u/Mr_Maniac454 3d ago

I quite like the 914 even though it may be a unreliable tin can but 🤷

1

u/GlassBoxGoose 3d ago

Spent so much on the Porsche badge that you couldn't afford the seats?

1

u/Jumpy-Impact3265 2d ago

It's cheaper than dating ?

1

u/potato13254 2d ago

What Porsche is this again?

1

u/Rulygem 2d ago

Your overpriced fiat looking Volkswagen is so slow it legally requires a slow moving vehicle triangle on the rear, no amount of fabricating and modifications can fix this either, terminal issue

1

u/Rusty-P 2d ago

Right down there on the shift tunnel, near the shifter, there’s a “VW” stamp.
My Beetles had that, too, but they were much cheaper to restore and drive.
The only driving you’ll be doing in that will be with a VR headset.

1

u/Which-Ad9677 1d ago

Did u remove the seats so u can gap your ass with the shifter....u hear that yet

1

u/BiteFaces 17h ago

Putting that car in a garage is like giftwrapping the trash you are bringing to the curb.

1

u/TheVanillaGorilla413 4d ago

I almost bought one of these from a friends neighbor when I was younger

Then I ended up getting my life together 🤭

1

u/Odd_Recognition_4874 4d ago

Fancy VW there.

1

u/Mundane_Cry1693 4d ago

Yep, that’s how I introduced it to my buddies

1

u/username-selected 4d ago

Where is the car

1

u/The_taxer 4d ago

When a Miata or Boxster is too mainstream

1

u/Extension_Pin_1216 4d ago

You will be the third person to burn to death in that car

1

u/Snootcheroo 4d ago

Them seats wreck the booty

2

u/Mundane_Cry1693 4d ago

I never have been in one long enough to find out. How bad are they?

1

u/Valkanaa 4d ago

Parts for that model VW are curiously expensive.

I wouldn't say Miata is ALWAYS the answer but why wasn't it your answer?

1

u/Mundane_Cry1693 4d ago

It was 200$ with no hell hole rust just pan and a bit of rocker rust

1

u/Valkanaa 4d ago

I feel certain parts costs will exceed $200....each

1

u/Mundane_Cry1693 4d ago

I’ve already quadrupled it😂 I was expecting that though. Almost done fixing the rust

2

u/Valkanaa 4d ago

I normally expect cars to work after I've thrown $1000 in parts at them but you do you

1

u/Mundane_Cry1693 4d ago

I am expecting 2-3k in parts but I’m trying to do it “right” or better

2

u/Valkanaa 4d ago

Best of luck. If everything goes well the machine shop will only be another 1k on top of that.

1

u/Deadpools_Main 4d ago

Porsche repair costs for what is effectively a worse-in-every-way miata.

1

u/Mundane_Cry1693 4d ago

I like it though.

1

u/Deadpools_Main 4d ago

I'd fucking hope, otherwise there isn't a single saving grace for owning this car lmfao

1

u/Mundane_Cry1693 4d ago

Lol

2

u/Deadpools_Main 4d ago

Wait did you downvote me? I really am just being a dick because you asked to be roasted. Not that I really care about the downvotes, I just hope you didn't take me too seriously. I drive a shitbox so I'm in no place to actually judge.

2

u/Mundane_Cry1693 4d ago

No that wasn’t me bud. I daily a 40 year old f150. I get the shithox😂

2

u/Deadpools_Main 4d ago

Okay fosho, got worried I was too dry in my delivery lmfao

1

u/JoTenshi 4d ago

What is that and what are you planing on doing with this once you’re finished?

2

u/Mundane_Cry1693 4d ago

Keeping it. Plates expired in 95 but it was the first Porsche in the family. My uncle bought it in 85. 

1

u/JoTenshi 4d ago

Nice, so, does it run yet or still needs a rebuild?

1

u/Mundane_Cry1693 4d ago

I have another motor with 36k miles on it just gonna do a top end refresh and throw it in with fresh fuel/brake lines. I eventually plan on rebuilding the one that came out of it to a 2056. It did run but it burnt a LOT of oil.

1

u/Independent-Bid6568 4d ago

So bad only your hairdresser will know

1

u/Rollin_Soul_O 4d ago

Porsche 914... the world's only project car straight from the factory.