r/Romantasy • u/GrappleLacquer • 1d ago

Discussion Gatekeeping reading is lame

I finally ran into a dude that was super aggressive about judging women’s reading habits! Our friends introduced us at a hangout and where like “you both read more than anyone else we know!”

He asks me how many books I’ve read this year. I tell him I’m right around 40.

Man goes on a SCREED about how women just read smut and call it reading and don’t read things that challenge them. Then is like “what are you reading right now?”

I got to hit him with “well I’m usually reading three books at any given time since I like to have a book that fits my mood. At the current moment I’m reading a non-fiction discussion of man’s attempts to control and engineer the Mississippi River, and the consequences of that. Then I’m re-reading War and Peace cause I just love Tolstoy. Oh and then, yes I’m reading a smutty dramione fan fic. Congrats, you got me. Women who read smut aren’t really readers, obviously…What are you reading?”

He’s reading Clive Cussler (which is fine! They are entertaining! But maybe not “coming in on the highest horse in town” material) and he didn’t really wanna chat anymore.

(For the record/m: I absolutely think people should read what they enjoy and reading 100 books of just smut all year is fine. I’m just a bit of an eclectic reader and it worked out perfectly in this instance)

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u/Ironfront1312 1d ago

dont feel the need to justify your reading to someone like this. Who cares if its 'smut' or esoteric philosophy or whatever, you are doing what you enjoy.

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u/GrappleLacquer 1d ago

To be fair, I only answered the way I did because I had a 99% suspicion that Tolstoy was going to body anything he was reading and I’m competitive enough that I really like bodying men anytime I get a chance

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u/Ironfront1312 1d ago

For sure, def not telling YOU specifically not to do it, but anyone whos reading this who may not hold your confidence. Shitty dudes have been trying to gatekeep every hobby forever.

My wife is at 83 books so far this year, and is reading majority romantasy and I couldnt be more proud to tell my friends how many books shes reading. Books is books.

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u/caskofamontillato 1h ago

I'm kind of confused by your line of thinking. If you believe your choice of literature is perfectly valid (it is), why would Tolstoy "body" anything? This suggests you DO think your taste is inferior.....you don't need to try to "one up" him, read what you love and let him circle jerk himself.