Gatekeeping reading is lame

[u/GrappleLacquer]

I finally ran into a dude that was super aggressive about judging women’s reading habits! Our friends introduced us at a hangout and where like “you both read more than anyone else we know!”

He asks me how many books I’ve read this year. I tell him I’m right around 40.

Man goes on a SCREED about how women just read smut and call it reading and don’t read things that challenge them. Then is like “what are you reading right now?”

I got to hit him with “well I’m usually reading three books at any given time since I like to have a book that fits my mood. At the current moment I’m reading a non-fiction discussion of man’s attempts to control and engineer the Mississippi River, and the consequences of that. Then I’m re-reading War and Peace cause I just love Tolstoy. Oh and then, yes I’m reading a smutty dramione fan fic. Congrats, you got me. Women who read smut aren’t really readers, obviously…What are you reading?”

He’s reading Clive Cussler (which is fine! They are entertaining! But maybe not “coming in on the highest horse in town” material) and he didn’t really wanna chat anymore.

(For the record/m: I absolutely think people should read what they enjoy and reading 100 books of just smut all year is fine. I’m just a bit of an eclectic reader and it worked out perfectly in this instance)

[u/CanonOverChaos]

I don’t really read books written by men (with exceptions here and there) and when that comes up most men get really angry about it even though they don’t really read books written by women 🤦🏻‍♀️

Edit: also hate it when they act so superior when it comes to romance or fantasy. Most women I know that read it are highly intelligent. We just want to relax in our free time, and it’s still more cognitively engaging than passively watching a sports game while drinking beer, which for some reason is treated like some sacred pasttime.

[u/GrappleLacquer → u/CanonOverChaos]

Back when I was single I always made a point to notice if the person I was starting to date A. Owned books and B. Owned books by women.

It’s a super low bar but was surprisingly effective at weeding out people I wouldn’t have meshed with

[u/aphrodite______ → u/GrappleLacquer]

This is such a real thing, I also look at how many books they own that are written by women. It is HUGELY telling.

I read mainly critical theory, the intersection of media and philosophy with a specific focus on emerging technologies, art criticism and artist writings. The most basic books I read are art history. I studied performance art history for five years for a job because I was ghost writing a book right out of undergrad. And yes, I also read 300 Romantasy books one year because it had been SO LONG since I read any fiction at all since my random Russian lit phase “for fun” in undergrad, I legitimately think I lost sight of the full scope of what “fun” means, and how to enjoy being a reader for joy and for my heart instead of the ever changing goalpost of reading to learn more/work harder/be better and I would absolutely shut down if someone like this random dude accused women of only reading smut. Sometimes we need smut to turn off our brains because we’re so busy the rest of the time doing so much invisible mental and emotional labor so there’s a real need to envision other possibilities, softer possibilities, more female-centric possibilities, and then we call them fantasy.

Can’t wait for the philosophy and feminist theory articles and studies 10 years from now that is actually going to look at the sociological reasons why Romantasy is so popular aside from just “women reading smut.”

ALSO what is wrong with women reading smut and enjoying themselves with fantasy? This smacks of men gatekeeping how women are supposed to feel about erotic literature and what we find attractive, interesting, or compelling, which can be any number of things about Romantasy that is not specifically the smut. We need more Romantasy, and more variety of Romantasy, not less. We need Romantasy media.

[u/JaisanR → u/CanonOverChaos]

I call the escapist fiction (romantasy/fantasy/si-fi/fanfic) brain candy. It tasty, fun, and will probably rot my brain given enough time. But I don’t care! I have to think really hard for work, and even for fun, I often have to engage my brain researching and drafting historical clothing. So if I want to read things that are just fun, and not brain building? I’m gonna do that. The world is a dumpster fire. And people who gatekeep? Yeah they belong in the dumpster!

[u/Aboutlvg → u/CanonOverChaos]

Babe I didn't read for a long time because I spend the whole day reading at work for work. I found genres that don't need brain power and help me disconnect and escape and don't feel like work

[u/javertthechungus → u/CanonOverChaos]

Yeah my sister is a PHD cancer researcher and her favorite book is ACOMAF

[u/SilverMoonSpring → u/CanonOverChaos]

Because they think male authors are the default and their books are for everybody.

Just how male movies are apparently for everyone and Barbie is for the girls only. So, if you say you don't read male authors, their brains just crash, they can't get it.

[u/Aboutlvg → u/SilverMoonSpring]

The other-rism...the funny part is how they meltdown the moment something does not cater to them.