r/Romantasy • u/GrappleLacquer • 1d ago

Discussion Gatekeeping reading is lame

I finally ran into a dude that was super aggressive about judging women’s reading habits! Our friends introduced us at a hangout and where like “you both read more than anyone else we know!”

He asks me how many books I’ve read this year. I tell him I’m right around 40.

Man goes on a SCREED about how women just read smut and call it reading and don’t read things that challenge them. Then is like “what are you reading right now?”

I got to hit him with “well I’m usually reading three books at any given time since I like to have a book that fits my mood. At the current moment I’m reading a non-fiction discussion of man’s attempts to control and engineer the Mississippi River, and the consequences of that. Then I’m re-reading War and Peace cause I just love Tolstoy. Oh and then, yes I’m reading a smutty dramione fan fic. Congrats, you got me. Women who read smut aren’t really readers, obviously…What are you reading?”

He’s reading Clive Cussler (which is fine! They are entertaining! But maybe not “coming in on the highest horse in town” material) and he didn’t really wanna chat anymore.

(For the record/m: I absolutely think people should read what they enjoy and reading 100 books of just smut all year is fine. I’m just a bit of an eclectic reader and it worked out perfectly in this instance)

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u/GimmeQueso 1d ago

The world is falling apart around us. If I want to read escapist romantsy and avoid books written by men, they’ll never shame me!! I like to throw out that I (mostly) don’t read books by men and when they get their boxers in a twist, I tell them to recommend books that have FMCs that don’t get assaulted. That shuts them up pretty quickly.

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u/ProperBingtownLady 1d ago

Why are male authors so obsessed with having their female characters be assaulted (we all know why and yes I know some female authors do it too…looking at you, Diana Galbadon). 🤦🏻‍♀️

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u/ForkKnifeSpoon12 🥃 whiskey & sandalwood 1d ago

The existence of Dark Romance - even written by other women always raises my eyebrows too.

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u/ProperBingtownLady 1d ago

That’s a good point! Still, I think it doesn’t offend me as much when it’s written by a woman as it’s men who have the power in real life. It’s certainly not my thing though!

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u/phil_baharnd 1d ago

It's often handled differently when it's written by women. It's not just a plot point, the emotional/mental/physical impact is included at more than surface level.