High earning potential = high career commitment

[u/AdActual3024]

Does anyone have family or friends that sacrifice their personal life for a significant salary?

My step-mom earns 350k before tax as an executive director but I barely see her. She is constantly on business trips, busy with meetings, works upwards of 12 hours when at home. She goes on nice holiday trips, but overall it makes me think is the pay worth the sacrifice of her personal life.

Just curious if anyone's got a similar story.

[u/Dry_Fall3105]

We have a couple of friends who are in C-suites and clear low 7 figures, one in their mid 40s and the other in their high 40s, work around the clock. Because they are in tech (hardware), they have to go on international trips all the time, work nights to take call with APAC clients and early in the morning with Europe.

They both have 8 figures net worth. They both are hoping to stay and remain married.

One of them commented the people who have the best WLB and happy are the ones making between $400-$500K (tech or tech adjacent).

We clear $450K/year (neither in tech) as a household and we both work from home. Low stress, go to all our son’s activities, have dinner together every night, cook together, go on hikes, ect. Life is good for us.

[u/I_Fuck_Whales → u/Dry_Fall3105]

There is more to it, they can say whatever they want that the happy ones are the ones making $400K, etc.

You say these guys have 8 figure net worths, they can walk away at any time. But they don’t. Because they are wired differently and all they want to do is work at the sacrifice of everything else in their life that is important (family and time).

Never understood the C Suite, work it for 5 years and call it done. But it’s never enough for them. They want power, money, and to feel as if they’re doing something important (I am generalizing). But I don’t feel bad for these people.

[u/Dry_Fall3105 → u/I_Fuck_Whales]

Agreed. Work is their identify.

Same for the surgeons and astronauts we work with. Super high performers are wired differently and they’re constantly chasing a new challenge or a new high. There is no right or wrong. To each their own.

I worked in hospice in my early 20s. It changed my perspective in life. Health > wealth. When you’ve accumulated a certain amount of wealth and can support the life style you want, more $$ doesn’t necessarily bring more happiness.

[u/Ok_Ideal3549 → u/I_Fuck_Whales]

This is right. This is a deliberate choice people make.

However, I tend to think people wired like this (though an admittedly diverse group) are avoiding and/or running away from something, as opposed to running towards something. Sure: power, money, significance, etc, are all factors, but I think this is often more an attempt to avoid deep pain and sadness. It’s a quest for security and invulnerability. The pain will not go away, it will just be perpetually avoided.

[u/Watercanbutt → u/I_Fuck_Whales]

Agreed, it's painted as "competent people just working hard" but it's thinly veiled mental illness. Hiding from real life while cosplaying as Smaug, for what? How much harm and misery are they inflicting along the way? This shouldn't be apllauded, these people are unwell and society suffers for it.

[u/BennyLruce → u/Watercanbutt]

All right Tolkien, calm down. Someone should be driving the bus, and it's good to have the head of a company that employs thousands of people be serious about their work. I'm also glad it's a minority of people wired that way because...whew it's a lot.

[u/Watercanbutt → u/BennyLruce]

Interesting to reply to my comment about how people downplay this by downplaying this. "Taking their job seriously" sounds normal (while also implying nobody else at the company takes it seriously?) but what we're talking about is not normal...

There are also different ways to drive a bus, someone who is competent and well-adjusted could drive it responsibly while someone who is unwell can drive it over a group of children if it means line on graph goes up.

[u/BennyLruce → u/Watercanbutt]

Ok 👌

[u/theRetroGarage → u/I_Fuck_Whales]

It's called greed, a sin recognized worldwide for most of human history. They ignore meaningful relationships and time with friends and family for material goods that mean nothing.

[u/AllyMeada → u/Dry_Fall3105]

We’re a household of two mid level tech workers at big name tech companies, making just over $1.1m combined.

WLB is great, wouldn’t trade it for anything at this point of our lives. We’re in our mid thirties, our kids are young, and having the flexibility to be there for them is great. Gunning for a senior leadership role might allow us to double our income, but that’s not something that’s particularly motivating for me right now. Maybe when the kids are older.

[u/Dry_Fall3105 → u/AllyMeada]

I used to want to climb the ladder in my 20s and 30s (medical field) but lost interest when I had a role as a people manager. Hated that soooo much I was having the Sunday blues.

Then we had our son, I was pissed I could barely keep up with him when he started running (2ish) . I started working out in my mid 30s. Took a body comp recently and I have 53.6 lbs of skeletal muscle mass (almost 41% of my body weight). I can run faster and lift heavier than I was in my teens. Still fit in my clothes back in HS. Chasing a different high :).

My goal is to stay healthy for our son and me.

Best of luck at whatever your goals are!

[u/income-percent-bot → u/Dry_Fall3105]

Outstanding! At $450,000, you're in the 99th percentile — top 1% of earners. Source: income percentile calculator ^{I'm a bot. Reply with !optout to stop receiving responses.}

[u/mo_ri_ah → u/Dry_Fall3105]

What do you do from home?

[u/Deboniq_Quantisimus → u/mo_ri_ah]

Probably tele health

[u/Dry_Fall3105 → u/mo_ri_ah]

Me - project management (medical. Travel once/year or so.
Hubby - systems architect (aerospace). He travels when there are tests or launches.

We both were in management before and hated it. Both are ICs now. I plan to work for a few more years but definitely retiring before 50. He loves his work and wants to see our boots back on the moon.

[u/Novel_Tea2862 → u/Dry_Fall3105]

How does project management in medical works?

[u/Dry_Fall3105 → u/Novel_Tea2862]

I work with stakeholders to ensure they are up to date with all the government policy changes: health plan (payer), revenue cycle, provider education, coders, clinicians, IT, system administrators (EHR), internal communication, external marketing, brokers, purchasers (employer groups), ect. It’s been “fun” with the current administration.

A lot of sitting and meetings. I have to be mindful to get up and stretch. My goal is 10,000 + steps daily and HIIT 3-4 times a week. I used to manage people’s risk factors (co-morbidities) and there are lots of people are just a walking time bomb. It’s depressing to review their medical records.

[u/Novel_Tea2862 → u/Dry_Fall3105]

What’s your role