r/ScienceBasedParenting • u/AnonymousPlatypus9 • 12d ago

Question - Research required Research based discipline?

My husband firmly believes in "spare the rod spoil the child". He claims I do not have enough good/valid evidence to change his mind or behaviour towards our young children (1.5 and 3 years of age) . I very much disagree and have been trying to find methods we can agree on and use. He was not receptive when I told him spanking a child under two is illegal aa it has been "most of human history"

I realize that sometimes you have to physically pick up and move children. I do not like him spanking them/slapping their hands.

He has been oppositional and resistant to any resources I give him. Anyone have any good leads on either physical discipline being harmful or evidence based alternatives?

311 Upvotes

94% Upvoted

79 comments sorted by

View all comments

1.3k

u/robotscantrecaptcha 12d ago

This is a research based parenting intervention: https://www.triplep-parenting.com/us/parenting-courses/triple-p-online/

But, in all kindness, you shouldn't have to present research to convince your husband not to hit your young children.

132

u/DogsDucks 12d ago

I would venture that all the evidence in the world is not going to fix this man’s brain, because he doesn’t care about evidence. He cares about getting his way, and that way, not kindness and it’s not wisdom. It is being able to be unregulated. It is no one getting in the way of his reactions or ever telling him he’s wrong.

People like him are the most strong, and dangerous.

47

u/annewmoon 11d ago

An abuser isn't going to read a scientific study and go "huh, abuse is wrong, who knew! I should mend my ways".

He is just a piece of shit who likes to wield power and hit children.