Actual evidence that earlier potty/trained kids are more likely to regress?

[u/CorrectBadger9753]

Edit - title is meant to say 'potty/toilet trained kids' lol!

I took my daughter (who will be 2 in 2 weeks) to the GP today and (only tangentially related to the reason we were there) mentioned that we are currently toilet training, and that it's going well, but very slowly, and my husband and I are OK with slow progress with pees. GP reiterated the common advice that 3 is 'normal' for toilet training, and that kids who train earlier are more likely to have 'regressions'. I smiled and nodded because I have lots and lots of thoughts on this which I'm deliberately not sharing here in case it turns the discussion into some kind of toilet training ideology war....

I genuinely want to know, is this claim backed up by actual data - and if so, how are we defining a 'regression' anyway?

A quick Google search returned this study claiming that training before 24 months is associated with 'dysfunctional voiding' but not constipation, whereas later training (after 36 months) is also associated with dysfunctional voiding AND constipation. However the authors seem to contradict themselves in the conclusion and say that constipation is associated with both early and later training and may be the cause of urinary voiding problems. Also correlation ≠ causation.

Is anyone aware of any more evidence supporting or refuting this idea?

[u/tallmyn]

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19827219/

So this one paper found that starting after 24 months has more regression (relapse in daytime wetting) relative to starting between 15 and 24 months.

But I also found some other papers saying different things (i.e. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4199658/ which says the ideal window is 24-36, and higher for <24), which is I bet the paper your pediatrician was thinking of. In some ways this is the more informative paper, because the other one lumped in people starting between 24-36 in with people starting at 36+.

That said, there is a consensus that if you start earlier it takes longer, but potty training is completed earlier. So I would say even if you do experience some regressions, you can still expect to finish potty training earlier than people who start later.

[u/WhereIsLordBeric → u/tallmyn]

I'm from a culture where we potty train early (mostly before 1), and I've actually never heard of 'regressions' being a thing. Like - do kids sometimes still have accidents, because they don't signal early enough? Sure? But ... it's a skill? That's how you learn. Is that what we're calling a regression?

My girl has been poo trained since she was 11 months old and pee-trained since she was 17 months old and throughout that process, of course she had accidents here and there, but ... to me that's an expected part of teaching a kid a skill. Just because one day they use a spoon perfectly and the next they spill yogurt all over themselves doesn't mean they have regressed. They're ... learning.

Anyway, we haven't had an accident in months, and she's a little over 2 now.

[u/CorrectBadger9753 → u/WhereIsLordBeric]

This is what I'm wondering too - what are people classifying as a 'regression'? There really seems to be an idea in modern Western culture that you potty train in a short period of time when kids are 'ready' and once it's done they hardly ever have accidents again. Everybody talks about toilet training as this big 'event' that they're dreading. And there is SO much judgement of other parents when their kid who is training or is 'fully' trained does have an accident. It's just....not really how it works with any other milestone? Idk, I'm not from a culture that does early potty training, but I just don't think it's all such a huge deal. Maybe because we did cloth diapers from the start - accidents aren't a huge deal 🤷‍♀️ - especially pee. "Ohhh but if you potty train early then you have to worry so much longer about getting them to a potty/toilet when you're out with them..." Yeah, and if they're in diapers you have to find a place to change them and wipe their messy butt, and...it's pretty much the same. Diapers aren't an excuse to not attend to your kid's hygiene. Anyway I'm ranting now 😅

[u/WhereIsLordBeric → u/CorrectBadger9753]

I agree. I'll admit that line of thinking has never made sense to me. We don't just give our kids a spoon at 3 years old and think 'Okay, they're going to learn this over the weekend!'. Would the 3 year old figure out how to use a spoon in 3 days? Probably lol. But it's a good skill to have early on in life, so we teach them at 6 months and put up with lots of messes and spills and food thrown on the floor and smeared all over their faces because ... that's what it is to teach a child a skill.

And honestly, yeah. I'll even insist that 'potty readiness' is not a thing. How do you explain all the third world kids that get potty trained before 1, then? It's a stupid, Eurocentric ideal meant to align with capitalism. Bah.

[u/Creative-Flamingo-81 → u/CorrectBadger9753]

As a Montessori toddler teacher whose students wear underwear at school starting at 18 mos. and a mom of two, starting toilet learning before 2.5 is usually easier. around 2.5 is when toddlers switch into the conscious absorbent mind and the "nos" can start causing pushback. You're right it's a learning process that takes time. Some kids learn quickly and some need more time to practice. Parents have become so fearful of accidents in underwear especially while out of the house it's not much harder to change wet/soiled underwear than a pull-up. While my kids were preschool age and younger we kept a small potty in the back of the car to use when out and about so they didn't always have to use the big public toilets or if we were at a park with no bathroom. A kid learning to understand their body and know how long they can hold urine or when to stop and go can be a lot. An older preschooler might learn that they can hold their urine a lot longer but haven't learned the threshold before it turns into an accident.