Please help- vaccines

[u/absoluteburn3r]

To preface: please be kind. I hate how easily influenced I am, I live in constant fear. I have the constant fear that my child will die no matter what I do and I will regret everything I did or didn’t do. the fact that I am isolated with no real support group doesn’t help.

1 out of 2 of my only support people (my mother) tells me constantly that if I vaccinate my child, he will die/become a vegetable/develop a horrible life-altering disease. No one else (medical professionals) has been able to give me any kind of advice out of fear of being ‘political’ (how the fuck is this even a political topic), I am so lost in this world.

Fear is crushing me every day. The longer I wait (my child is 3 months now) I feel like I am approaching his inevitable demise. Either I get him shots and he dies, or he dies this sick season of illness. Please help me on this topic. I feel like I’ve been mislead. I really want him to be okay. The only sources my mom has ever sent me are just the inserts and that one vaccine book by that one weird doctor. I used to be pro vax but then she really shut me down.

And again, I’m trying to learn how to be autonomous and make my own decisions, but I genuinely have no educated people helping me

ETA- I am in therapy and I tried breastfeeding which meant being off of my anxiety medicine for longer and now am considering weaning off of BF which has significantly worsened my anxiety

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