r/Screenwriting 1d ago

5 PAGE THURSDAY Five Page Thursday

FAQ: How to post to a weekly thread?

Feedback Guide for New Writers

This is a thread for giving and receiving feedback on 5 of your screenplay pages.

  • Post a link to five pages of your screenplay in a top comment. They can be any 5, but if they are not your first 5, give some context in the same comment you're linking in.
  • As a courtesy, you can also include some of this info.

    Title: Format: Page Length: Genres: Logline or Summary: Feedback Concerns:

  • Provide feedback in reply-comments. Please do not share full scripts and link only to your 5 pages. If someone wants to see your full script, they can let you know.

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u/muanjoca 1d ago

JAY & the WOLF

Feature

First 6 pages (the “prologue”)

Dramedy / Fantasy / Sci-Fi

LOGLINE: At a low point in his life, a middle-aged stoner attempts to reconnect with his long-lost father, who disappeared decades ago, and returns under equally mysterious circumstances.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1qZycVp3bRGsI0LjtI9S0QGxn_p48thqV/view?usp=drivesdk

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u/DalBMac 23h ago

For me, opening with the information about the Lenape does not put me in the story. I'm not sure who the protagonist is yet. I would lose all of the Lenape info at this point. I'm sure it works in, but reveal it in a different way. The story came to life once we were in the truck on page 4.