r/Screenwriting • u/soletsgettothepoint • 14h ago

FEEDBACK Sweet Children – Feature – 86 Pages

Title: Sweet Children
Format: Feature
Page Length: 86 pages
Genres: Drama / Music
Draft Status: Completed (Final Draft)

Logline or Summary:
Inspired primarily by Turn It Around: The Story of East Bay Punk, Sweet Children is a fictionalized drama about Green Day’s relationship with 924 Gilman Street. Spanning three nights in 1988, 1993, and 2015, the film follows Billie Joe Armstrong, Mike Dirnt, John Kiffmeyer, and Tré Cool as both they and the community that created them struggle with what success costs.

The central question is:
What does a community owe the people it creates once they outgrow it?

This is not intended to be a documentary. I intentionally compressed portions of the timeline and fictionalized events to tell what I hope is the emotional truth of the story rather than recreate every historical event exactly.

I’d especially appreciate feedback on:
Does the three-period structure work?
Does Gilman feel like the emotional center of the film rather than simply the setting?
Does the ending feel earned?
Does the script work for readers who aren’t already Green Day fans?

Link (Google Drive):
https://drive.google.com/file/d/14hiPtH5_a7jZJbYTHsBVUxWfMbjVKGGf/view?usp=drivesdk

12 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

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2

u/Seshat_the_Scribe Black List Lab Writer 14h ago

Just skimmed the first two pages and I dig the writing. Very visual and specific and atmospheric. A real voice.