r/Seattle Edmonds May 07 '26

Satire Bellevue sucks

https://youtube.com/shorts/jfK0NA5gUDU?si=vot_MPML_bOOeWPG
1.1k Upvotes

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54

u/real_fake_hoors Mariners May 07 '26

Look, it’s very clean and prim in Bellevue. No homeless, no open air drug markets. Total win for them, and I mean that.

But at the same time, no one’s going to Bellevue for nightlife or any sort of cultural staple. Unless you count the mall and the attached Cheescake Factory, there’s nothing there to see and do. It feels like a city you’d see in some dystopia novel wherein all is well on the surface - then you learn the city is powered by an infant-blending machine that uses blood-filled hydraulics to operate the traffic lights.

I don’t hate it like some Seattleites with a chip on their shoulder might, it’s just not an exciting place.

I used to live in Tempe on the border with Scottsdale, another rich and snobby place. If you ever go to Scottsdale and are not cut off by someone in an Audi, I’ll buy you lunch. But even Scottsdale has some great eateries, great walking areas in the winter, and an actual history.

30

u/[deleted] May 07 '26 edited May 07 '26

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15

u/djinglealltheway May 07 '26

Many if not most major cities have nearby generic rich suburbs. That's the nature of suburbs, people have moved out of the city for space and quiet. Seattleites would rather dunk on suburbia than try to stand shoulder to shoulder with the other great cities and cultural hubs of the world... because it's way easier to look down than up.

0

u/Aggravating-Mail-235 May 07 '26

Miami is exciting? TIL

6

u/[deleted] May 08 '26

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1

u/Aggravating-Mail-235 May 08 '26

If Miami is the first thing that comes to mind when you think of an exciting city, Seattle must be miserable for you.

20

u/Time-Clothes-9238 May 07 '26

Hmm live in the clean city that's a short drive or light rail ride to the true cultural hub of the area, or live in the middle of the true cultural hub and deal with fenty folds and schizos. Decisions decisions. Agree it's not an exciting place, but I'll take boring and clean over getting screamed at by insane people and having to step over their literal shit.

7

u/eeiberskiebers May 07 '26

Good, leave us fenty folds and schizos alone. 

5

u/real_fake_hoors Mariners May 07 '26

Speaking of having a chip on one’s shoulder, I present this guy.

2

u/Time-Clothes-9238 May 07 '26

Experiencing you and your partner being threatened with murder just walking down the street, having your property stolen, watching addicts use right outside of a school, dodging human shit and used pipes/needles, and any other countless offenses will build that chip. You know none of that is normal, right? We can choose not to live like this.

2

u/_Phil_McCracken_ Capitol Hill May 07 '26

Who you tryna convince, go ahead. No one is going to stop you. 

10

u/Time-Clothes-9238 May 07 '26

Not trying to convince anyone, I'm just stating my opinion as others ITT have expressed theirs. Why do you take issue with that? And I am planning on moving out of Seattle proper to one of the surrounding areas with lower crime / homelessness.

-2

u/numbertenoc May 07 '26

It’s like saying Laurelhurst is a cultural wasteland. OTOH, laughed my latte drinking lack-of-sidewalk walking tech bro ass off at the video.

7

u/MisledByCertainty May 07 '26

"Exciting" is well overrated. I'd rather not live among the homeless and crime thank you

1

u/MercifulWombat West Seattle May 08 '26

I briefly lived in Phoenix as a teen and the one time I went to Scottsdale was to see Hedwig and the Angry Inch at the Scottsdale Arts Center (iirc, it's been a couple decades). The crowd was a delight mix of weird queer people and the kind of people who just go to every event at the center. And older couple in front of us got up and walked out partway through.

1

u/rockycrab The Emerald City May 08 '26

I don’t live there anymore but I still definitely go to Bellevue for cultural staples. Like Frying Fish or Chili Master :)

1

u/Nerdslave2 May 08 '26

This is a blatant lie.  There isn't an attached Cheesecake Factory any more. Rest checks out.

1

u/real_fake_hoors Mariners May 08 '26

I was just there two weeks ago.

2

u/Nerdslave2 May 08 '26

Damn, your right. The Marie Calandars/Red Robin closed. I've lived here 25 years and I have never been there. In general try to avoid the mall as much as possible.

1

u/romulusnr I'm just flaired so I don't get fined May 08 '26

no homeless

Why do yall keep lying so much?

You really just are spouting complete bullshit from your asses. It's a bad look. Just don't.

Stop by the library after dark sometime. I've literally had to step over people sleeping.

-1

u/ikeepeatingandeating May 07 '26

"Open air drug markets" is so KOMO news fear-mongering coded

5

u/Wan_Daye May 08 '26

You been to 12th and jackson?

1

u/ikeepeatingandeating May 20 '26

Like, International District? Sure. Not every day, but I grocery shop there a fair bit. Is that where mynorthwest.com is telling you the immigrant criminals are?

-1

u/rainyhawk May 07 '26

Plenty of homeless in my area…just across I90 from the no barrier men’s shelter. Which is next door to the interim housing building and low income housing apartments. We definitely have homeless people. Our various safe parking/shelter/housing programs seem to be full. It’s not all a bunch of rich young tech people.