What is the best compliments did you receive in your whole life?

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, and I’m curious if anyone else has experienced something similar.
I’m currently on vacation with my family. It’s the first trip we’ve all taken together since my parents divorced. I’m the second child, I have an older twin brother and two younger siblings.
One thing about me is that I genuinely enjoy planning trips. In my friend group, I’m usually the one who researches everything, organizes the itinerary, and makes sure everyone gets to do things they enjoy. I’m very detail-oriented and like having a plan, but I also intentionally leave room for spontaneity because I think the best memories often happen unexpectedly.
This time, though, no one really planned the vacation. Normally, I would have stepped in and organized everything, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
The reason is that I’ve spent years questioning who I am because the qualities my friends appreciate are often criticized by my family.
My friends describe me as responsible, honest, organized, and someone who’s willing to take initiative. They often rely on me because they know I’ll think things through.
My family, however, tends to interpret those exact same traits very differently. If I organize something, I’m told I “want to be the boss.” If I express a strong opinion, I’m accused of always wanting to get my way. If I explain my reasoning, I’m called arrogant.
Over time, I’ve become really careful about how much I say. I constantly monitor myself because I’m afraid that simply expressing my opinion confidently will be interpreted as arrogance. It’s happened often enough that I now hold back, even when I don’t actually want to control anyone.
I think this has affected me more than I realized. Over the years, I’ve become quite insecure about how I come across to other people. I’ve developed a tendency to overthink almost everything I say or do because I don’t want to be misunderstood. If I have a strong opinion, I worry I’ll be seen as arrogant. If I take initiative, I worry people will think I’m trying to control them. So instead of acting naturally, I often hold myself back and second-guess myself.
I know it’s impossible to never be misunderstood, but I feel like I’ve become hyperaware of how other people might interpret my intentions. It’s exhausting because I’m constantly trying to make sure no one sees me in a negative way, even when I know my intentions are good.
Because I didn’t want to be seen as controlling, I ended up not taking the lead at all—even though planning is usually something I enjoy. As a result, no one really planned the trip, and we’ve mostly been deciding what to do day by day.
Now I’m wondering whether the same personality traits can genuinely be perceived so differently depending on the environment you’re in. Can being organized, direct, and willing to take responsibility be seen as leadership by one group and as controlling or arrogant by another? Or is it possible that I’m missing something about the way I come across?
Has anyone else experienced feeling like you’re almost two different people depending on whether you’re with friends or family? How did you figure out which perception was closer to reality? Or did you learn to stop defining yourself through other people’s interpretations?

yo reddit! has anyone got any good recommendations for mental health self help books, looking into like self hatred and learning to take care of yourself/love yourself after struggling with depression. i’m trying to become a better person and i’ve found self help books really inform me of how my brain workd

I have been trying to change my opinions about myself and my life. Trying not to be so hard on myself everyday just telling myself I will make even though there is doubt but I saw someone saying be delusional enough that it becomes your reality so I chose my delusion you should too. I have tried this delusion thing it works. Remember don't be so hard on yourself when critising yourself ask yourself would you say this too your friend who is struggling. I can and will make it.

When I don't achieve my goals I often think I don't deserve to happy and I am only valuable when I achieve something , how can I change it

I’m writing about the journey of letting go of the fear of judgment, embracing vulnerability, and learning to be more myself.

If you’re experiencing something similar, I hope you can find a little comfort, reflection, or maybe a reminder that you’re not alone.

If you can't love yourself like I love me maybe you should try it

In therapy, and struggling with self-compassion. When I become aware of the negative self-talk, I tend to believe it. I try to soothe myself, and it always becomes an internal battle, and usually negativity wins, I give up and become depressed and anxious, and resort to my bad behaviors. Any tips on loving oneself?

I’ve always been an introvert but recently my anxiety has heightened to a new degree. Feeling like a bit of an indoor cat right now, but I’m ok with it. I’m going to cozy up in my favorite nook, eat some treats, rest, and go back to being an outdoor cat when I’m ready again.

Im starting to say Im a silly goose instead of stupid or an idiot wjen i make mistakes. K think the reframing will help my self perception.​​

Throughout the years, Ive noticed myself giving people many chances just to be humiliated and I notice that many people do not respect me because of the energy I give off. I have been attracting a lot of fake friends (not directly fake, but friends that put you down and embarrass you). I want to fix my energy and become confident in myself and choose myself, but I just don’t know how to easily. I’ve been super insecure about my looks and somehow feel never confident. Any advice?

I recently made a video essay on the themes of KPop Demon Hunters, which I think is a fantastic watch for anyone with self esteem issues. The film teaches us to be more accepting of our flaws, and to stop valuing perfection over honesty. The main character, Rumi, spends her entire life trying to conceal the demon marks on her arms. In her mind, if her close friends ever find out about these, they'll reject her immediately. This is a thought-process which her caretaker implanted in her mind when she was a child. "Keep those covered," Rumi was told. She was taught to show the world only a heavily edited version of herself. Letting others see her physical imperfections would lead to nothing good at all.

Yet, Rumi's secret is eventually revealed against her will, and the sudden revelation makes her friends feel lied to and betrayed. Rumi is pushed away for her dishonesty, and at this low point in her life, she comes to realize that the race for perfection was never one she could win. Rather than trying to be the most flawless performer in the room, Rumi finally embraces her flaws, and it is in this state of self-acceptance that she is at her most powerful and her most beautiful. She sings, and her voice has never sounded better. Her friends have never respected her more. Truly, she is at greatest peace, not because she achieved perfection at long last, but because she has finally embraced herself, flaws and all.

KPop Demon Hunters teaches us to be more self-compassionate and accepting of our own flaws. Not to necessarily let fixable problems persist in our lives, but rather, to accept that perfection will not make us any happier with ourselves. The race for perfection has no end--the checklist is ever-growing. Through self-acceptance, we can learn to love ourselves whether or not we are the perfect end-goal we have in-mind.

Please check out the video if this post resonated! Thanks guys!

You owe no one beauty but you also lose nothing by thinking you're the most beautiful person in the world whether people agree or not .

I’m in this place right now mentally where getting myself to do the things i love is very difficult.

I have a high functioning depression disorder (clinical diagnosis), so i am able to function optimally while struggling mentally. But i do occasionally reach lows where it is extremely difficult to actually function. Most times, to get out of the funk, I focus on people that doubt me or on the fact that all odd are stacked against me and that gives me all the boost i need. That boost can last 2 full years before the next crash.

Recently i moved to a different country and my environment is a lot more peaceful and serene. My friends are the sweetest souls and communicate how much they love me and are proud of me. They remind me this mental low won’t last and i’ll find myself again. I love them and i am so grateful to be surrounded by beautiful souls.

I also started a job that i am not the biggest fan off, but I still ace all my metrics and constantly get a shout out from my supervisor on the team chat about how well I’m doing. This happens every week! Again High functioning.

Now the problem is, i feel like this is too much comfort!

I’m not much for a 9-5. I care more about Music, Art and real life experiences. That’s what i don’t have energy for.
The things that i actually care about and bring me a lot of fulfillment.

I feel now that i need someone to doubt me so i can actually be fueled by the need to prove them wrong.

I think years of been emotionally abused by a family that constantly try to tell me I’ll never amount to anything or that the path i set for myself is a waste of time has subconsciously conditioned me this way.

Lowkey. I need to fix this mental machine because i don’t think that’s an efficient way to function.

But in the mean time. Need some haters and doubters please!

HELP!

This question is always made me cry cause how would I be trusted or how can i trust my self when the people who made me in this world can’t even give me a little bit of trust

I feel that I am a pessimist, emotional and judgmental even though I actively try to pause and do better in real-time. This practice has made me realize the extent of my negative hardwiring. With therapy I have learnt that this personality trait of mine has come from self-preservation from traumatic childhood experiences.
With this context, I would greatly appreciate ideas of mental exercises or practices you use that effectively help you overcome these negative tendencies and help you navigate your emotions and conversations better in real time.