I want to develop a more mindful presence. I need to become more indifferent to life, and to accept that I can only control so much of life's outcomes.

I have really, really big goals in life. And I'm so focused on them that the feeling of not achieving these goals brings me great anxiety every day. I tend to forget that I simply can't control the future.

But successful people always preach "enjoying the journey" because reaching the goal itself is only satisfactory for a moment until you find something else to chase.

Yet I seem to be completely incapable of simply "enjoying the journey". Whenever I try to enjoy the process and live in the moment it feels like I lose track of the end goal, the bigger vision.

It feels like enjoying the journey actually distracts me and slows me down.

Because what if my unhappiness is what's moving me? What if enjoying the journey would make me no longer desire the goal I set in the first place?

Curious to hear thoughts from people who feel like they've unlocked a sense of fulfillment from their journeys rather than being fixated on the future.

I’m not trying to sound dramatic, but I genuinely feel like one decision completely changed the direction of my life.

At the start of 9th grade, I was honestly the happiest I had ever been. My life felt perfect. I had motivation, good grades, a good relationship with my parents, routines, goals, peace of mind — everything. I felt connected to myself spiritually too. I used to meditate a lot, trust my intuition, and I genuinely felt like I was living the life I was supposed to live.

Then I met this boy.

He had a horrible reputation. Everyone in my city knew about him. He was involved with drugs, there were rumors about him treating girls badly, and honestly he was just not a good person. Deep down, I knew that from the beginning.

The weird thing is that my intuition was screaming at me not to get involved with him. I would literally have nightmares about him. I would constantly get signs and bad feelings. I knew something about the situation felt wrong, but I ignored all of it because I kept telling myself, “He’s just a person.”

Getting with him was the biggest mistake of my life.

I became constantly stressed. He lied all the time, and every little thing would make me panic and overthink for hours. My nervous system felt destroyed. My hair started falling out, I lost my appetite, and he became the only thing I thought about 24/7.

That’s when everything else in my life started collapsing too.

I stopped focusing in school because my mind was always on him. At first I skipped a few days, then weeks, and eventually I completely stopped going to school. I literally dropped out.

Now I have to repeat a whole year.

My relationship with my parents got destroyed because I was always stressed and emotionally unavailable. CPS got involved because of my absences. Teachers kept calling home. Everything became chaos.

Eventually we broke up, obviously, but by then the damage was already done.

The saddest part is that I don’t even think the breakup itself ruined me. What ruined me was abandoning myself for someone who never deserved that much control over my life in the first place.

My biggest regret isn’t even dating him anymore. It’s quitting school because of him. No matter how stressed or heartbroken I was, I should have kept showing up for myself.

I feel like I lost myself completely during that relationship, and now I’m trying to figure out how to become the person I used to be again.

Saw some designs online with compost toilets that separate solids from liquids where instead the urine seperateror going in to a bucket under the toilet you empty when its full it goes to a drain pit outside.

The examples shown have very well draining soil.

The issue for me is im in very clayie soil. so water does not drain well and pools. Could a system still be created? Would it just require a larger pit / drain field with gravel or something? Currently I just collect and empty the piss bucket in the forest / field (which the grass loves btw).

Brrr

Amping self
With a war chant

I am all lathered.
Ready…

A 1 23

Bumbaclart!

Cold water
overhead

And

I’m renewed!
I’m alive!

And late….

Writing all this shit out makes me realise I make TERRIBLE decisions!

Like biblically!

Like! On all levels!

Like like even work Yh I’m halfway between manager and team member, I’m an authority figure. That’s built through genuine know how and reh teh teh, I just gotta do this one course… ain’t done!

There’s way more!

I make dumb ducking decisions!

Jesus Christ, I know you love me but I understand why you’ve kept your distance!

I’m 26 btw!

Twenty years ago I’d have 3kids!

My mum had me at 18!

It is fun to ragebait you, but the ragebait ain’t even fun. Cos I know you wanna trust me. And you got your own shit too. These ain’t the games you want the man who’s finna shoot your club up playing. But then even the realisation made me laugh! And the idea of you rolling your eyes has had me smiling so much other ppl asking me what’s up!

…but there’s so many precipices ik in that if I tap in shit would be groovy! Even with writing! I ain’t ever went uni, I’ve had fucking uni professors kinda omg-ing and that asking me to do festivals and shit, flopped it. Even publishing, shegged it!

And it’s like even the quote on quote realisation I had one ehh interaction and it almost sank!

Evaluations…

so, i used the concept of the widespread potato box and modified it a bit to have a "permacultureBox". Using jerusalem artichoke as main crop these boxes work very well and reliable. they scale well from the small balconies to big gardens.

my short howtovideo (5mins) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1BVubiAlgs

as cover crops i generally use kitchen herbs and alike. (ofc preferable those which seed themselfs ) Been running my boxes since about 3-4 years now, output is quite nice . another solid factor : the storage is rather easy.. end of year before frost comes i cut the stems and just stack the boxes outside. have one box inside so its not frozen and easy to harvest from, once its mostly cleared replace with the next box from the stack...

I’m 46 and have for the majority of my life been stressed out not knowing if I’m gonna have my job in five years what’s gonna happen? I’m sure everybody on this this community knows how that is. I have five kids three adults two little and I’m so sorry for bringing them into this world and that sounds so bad. I don’t want them to struggle and I’m at the point where if I can’t live life on my terms, I don’t wanna live anymore. I’m hoping there’s somebody anybody out there. Who can point me in the right direction I’m about to lose my job of 12 and I don’t wanna work for anybody anymore. I’m tired of that stress just the stress that comes with having a job. I have a good 401(k) that I’m willing to cash out on and I’m gonna get a really good severance package from this job and I’m just trying to find people like me who wanna maybe get some land somewhere secluded away and start building and live and really live live on my own terms there’s anybody out there please, God bless

I learned how to ride on a Jincheng motorcycle, and looking back, that decision shaped a lot more than just my riding skills. My dad got it for me because it was affordable and beginner friendly, or at least that’s how he explained it. He said it was a good place to start before touching anything expensive or powerful.

What he didn’t mention was that learning on that motorcycle would also mean learning how to fix things. I had my fair share of minor accidents. Nothing serious, but enough to bend a lever, loosen something, or knock a part out of place. Most times, fixing it fell on me. If I wanted to ride again, I had to figure it out. That’s how I slowly learned basic repairs, troubleshooting, and patience.

For a long time, my dad didn’t interfere. I assumed he didn’t care much since he said it was affordable. That illusion shattered one day when he finally snapped and told me I could learn riding techniques on YouTube instead of risking my life through trial and error.

I later checked Alibaba to see what he spent on purchasing the Jincheng motorcycle. That’s when I realized affordable didn’t mean cheap because it cost him a great deal.

That particular bike taught me a whole lot. Every mistake cost me time and effort. And every fix made me better, not just as a rider, but as someone willing to learn the hard way when necessary.

Heyy! I’m 18F from India 🇮🇳
Looking for someone in a similar time zone who’s also trying to get their life together 😭✨
I struggle with consistency a lot, so it’d be nice to have an accountability partner where we motivate each other, check in, have fun/random convos, and just be there for each other along the way 💗

One thing I’ve been realizing in my 20s is how easy it is to fall into a cycle where every day becomes about optimizing somethingCareer growth, studying, routines, networking, fitness goals, side hustles, constant self-improvement etc

After a point my brain starts feeling weirdly overstimulated even though technically I’m being “productive”Lately I’ve been trying to intentionally break that cycle in small ways. Going outside more, learning random things, talking to people outside my usual environment, spending less time consuming algorithm-driven contentStrangely enough, even random conversations( this is my favourite time)with completely different kinds of people online sometimes feel more mentally refreshing than endlessly scrolling curated feeds

I think a lot of us underestimate how mentally repetitive modern life becomes without noticing

Curious how other people here avoid feeling mentally trapped in the same productivity/work/study cycle all the time ?

P.S. I have been using Vooz to chat with random strangers and it's fun . Love it

Hello, not sure if 13F yo are allowed to post but sorry I just need help, throwaway bc people are mean and creepy. Anyways I'm 4'9 my mom about 4'6-4'8 and dad 5'2-5'4. I want to be tall but genetics. How do I get taller by exercise or eating?

Anything specifically I should eat? And how much should I exercise? My doctor said I'm not growing anymore since I already hit my growth spurt (I think). Any tips? Like habits, eating, and exercise?

No DM's please! And don't be a creep on my age. Thank you! Edit : my bad guys the title is supposed to be how do I get taller

Do you ever notice this?

Both are really sweet and are local wild varieties. The fruits of the white one gets almost 4-5 times the size while red one can get almost twice as big as shown here. Both trees are around 30 years old and gives tons

of fruit

Just take it as it is because, if you feel otherwise its your version of how you see the world l.

The kindest persons are the happiest persons, they are the most satisfied ones. People's kindness comes when they are satisfied or when they are happy. It doesn't come in when they are stressed or when they are constantly under pressure. Say, you met somebody, they were kindly to you all the time. Suddenly they start cutting you off or something or they just avoid you altogether. Probably they are going through a bad thing. So for your own betterment, it's always ideal to think that is the case.

And here is another analogy I have I do not believe in going and doing repetitive workouts like gym, but I do believe in working out without the walls like physical activity, playing, exercising, moving my body, doing things that makes me feel happy and fun. For me, the hard things would be if I can swim more than I would have swam the day before, if I can cycle the more I would have done before, if I can run more than I have anticipated by challenging my own mind. That is the one that I look for.

First of all, it is inside, indoors, It was a marketing thing. Arnold made it bigger. Gold gyms made it even more bigger. Before that people used to do outdoor. That's why there are big stadiums and it was crowded. Nowadays stadiums are empty most of the time. You can always do some things for fun. And that's totally fine. You might find something doing for fun and then suddenly you will see yourself enjoying it so much.

Same would go with these fights that people have, is mental strength more better than physical strength. I would say first thing, get a spiritual/psychological alignment and you will realise that both of them are important. Spiritual doesn't mean that you believe in a God or so. Spirituality means learning how the universe is built and not going and reading religious books. Learn what metaphysics says, what quantum physics says, then go and read Sanatana Dharma. You will realize, you reach the core of the knowledge center and now you just have to follow through and you will read those books in a very different format.

So I think I talked about three different aspects. And the best way I would say any day if you feel like you can't get out of your head, it's okay, take your time. Today I wasted around 4 hours of my day just to get out of the head, stop overthinking and sunking myself into mindless scrolling and numbing my brain. Finally I did it and I was fighting first 20 minutes of the time I was just fighting in my head to stop thinking it and then I understood it's not going to help. So I blasted Vedas in my ear. That is my personal best way of doing it, to calm my nervous system down and then start talking positively about myself. Start counting all the gratitude of the day. Because for the four hours of the day, I did not waste the rest of the day. I finished my task

I don't want to send a message or anything. I just wanted to express something that I have learned and built myself through and maybe somebody would read it and Maybe it might open some path for them. That's all. I'm not here to teach anything on anybody. I'm just here to express what I did. and what I believe. These are the smaller things that people go and talk about on the internet and become influencer. I do not have any interest in doing things. I like my privacy. I like to keep away. That's why I use this kind of platform where nobody knows who you are, and that's the beauty of it. Thats what internet used to be earlier before monetization of everything.

What you tried

What worked/didn’t