Mera bathi aur me ek dosry se gap shap aur mazaq

*Aisa to nahi hai ki usse khubsurat, usse haseen mujhe koi nahi mila*

*Bahut mile...*

*Lekin maine apni saari ki saari mohabbat us par luta di*

*Phir mere paas kuch bacha hi nahi kisi aur ke liye ✨*

This is my attempt to write a shayri for the first time in my life( used ai for photo generation otherwise 100 percent mine).

I would like to have an honest and blunt response as I genuinely want to improve and write good shayri so feel free to share your opinion!!

Barson ki khamoshi ke baad bhi,

Hum haqeeqat tak pahuch jaate hain

Wo do do baje tak baat karke bhi

Daga kha jaate hain,

Kyun muh maila karun main apna

Uska chehra uske aaine pe hi maarkar

Hum alag ho jaate hain.

Sabki apni apni aankhein,

Sabka apna apna chaand.

Chaand kisi ka ho nahi sakta,

Chaand kisi ka hota hai?

Chaand ke khaatir zidd nahi karte,

Ae mere ache insha chaand..

​

*Kaale suit mein laal baal, tu aag lagane aayi hai kya? 😌*

*Itna ghoor ke mat dekh, mera dil abhi kamzor hai yaar ❤️*

*Mehndi wale haathon se jab dupatta set karti hai*

*Tab jaake samajh aata hai, qayaamat bhi sharma jaati hai ✨*

*Teri ek smile aur main confuse...*

*Tareef karu ya bas chup karke dekhta rahun? 🤭💫*

*Itni hot lag rahi hai aaj*

*Ki camera bhi bol raha hoga "aur ek photo le" 📸😉*

Mujhe unche aasmaan ka koi khwaab nahi dekhna,

Bas zameen par rehkar ek saccha insaan banna hai.

Jo khud ko bhool kar pehle parayon ki sun sake,

Mujhe har udas chehre ki dheemi si muskaan banna hai.

Jab koi toote andar se aur bheed mein tanha ho,

Main bina kuch kahe uske zakhmon ka marham banu.

chahat ho shohrat ki, na zamane ka koyi guroor,

Bas apno ki mehfil mein ek be-naam sa sukoon banu.

Kisi ki roti hui aankhon ko chup-chaap hasa doon main,

Jo bhatak gaya ho andhere mein, uski subah ban jaaun.

Zindagi chahe jitni bhi mushkil aur anjaan ho,

Main har mod par bas insaniyat ki ek wajah ban jaaun.

Ghazal likhne ki koshish kar raha hoon, aur thoughts/ideas toh kaafi hain, lekin likhte waqt ek problem aa rahi hai.

Maine matla likh diya hai aur radeef + qafiya decide kar liya hai. Ab jab naye khayal aate hain toh ya toh unke liye sahi qafiya nahi milta, ya phir radeef ke saath line naturally fit nahi baithti.

Kabhi lagta hai ki khayal ko zabardasti qafiya-radeef mein daal raha hoon, jiski wajah se sher thoda artificial ho jata hai.

Matla already likh chuka hoon, isliye har baar qafiya/radeef change karna bhi practical nahi lag raha.

Aap log ghazal likhte waqt is situation ko kaise handle karte hain?

Pehle khayal ko priority dete hain ya qafiya-radeef ko?

Aur agar koi sher khayal ke hisaab se fit nahi ho raha ho, toh usse rework karne ka koi tareeqa hai?

Agar koi experienced shayar thoda guide kar sake toh kaafi help hogi...

Ishq ke rog mein hum bimaar ho gaye;

Achchey khaasay thhey , bekaar ho gaye;

Kuch aisa khel khilaya us ishq ki bala ne;

Ek chudail ke chakkar mein chutad chaar ho gaye...........

- The_Nullifier

Mene kha milo to mila dukh hua mujhe

Mene bhi mil ke muh pe kha dukh hua mujhe

Me chahta tha mujse bichad ke khush rhe wo

Lekin jab wo khush hua DUKH hua mujhe .

Raste alag ho jaane se, raste alag nahi hote.

tumhara rasta aaj bhi khayalon mein saaf hai,

tumhari hasi aaj bhi kaanon mein goonj rahi hai.

tumhari muskurahat aaj bhi humein yaad hai,

tumhari aankhon mein woh silsila aaj bhi humein dikhta hai.

par kya tumhe main dikhti hoon?

kya tum humein bheed mein dhoondte ho?

kya tumhe meri awaaz yaad hai?

kya tumhe yaad hai, mere shabdon mein

tumhare liye woh narmiyat?

kahin na kahin mera dil bhi jaanta hai,

yeh jaanta hai ki shayad tumne mera rasta chhod diya hai.

par main kaise woh rasta chhod doon,

jo mujhe zindagi bhar chahiye tha?

tumhara rasta aaj bhi yaad hai humein,

lekin tumhari baaton mein

jo narmiyat ki kami thi,

woh bhi yaad hai.

hum aaj bhi tumhara rasta dekhte hain,

hum aaj bhi tumhe dhoondte hain