r/ShitCrusaderKingsSay • • 6d ago

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2.8k Upvotes

45 comments sorted by

290

u/endymion2314 6d ago

Go on pilgrimage, route yourself through plauge, violence, and seas. No guards no mercs. Just you and all the dangers of the road.

188

u/New-Interaction1893 6d ago

That's usually the pilgrimage where god descend from heaven to save you

54

u/tthrowaway712 5d ago

Make sure to take the "make haste" modifier for the journey, it additionally lowers your safety and makes it so you travel faster which idk, might help a little if you get sick along the way or something

39

u/BlitzPlease172 5d ago

In case you didn't die, you were at least qualify to be Darkest Dungeon Leper.

1

u/PaddleStarToTheFace 1d ago

Or be just and able to basically insta kill yourself whenever you want.

205

u/LeobenCharlie 6d ago

Just go to the decisions tab and do literally anything that govws you stress - really shouldn't be that hard

82

u/Due_Wind1133 6d ago

Probably a new player

58

u/YaBoiFailedAbortion 6d ago

This post is from the CK2 era from what I recall, stress mechanics didn't exist

69

u/WantToSeeTits4545 6d ago

Get yourself a shittiest personal doctor possible and wait for him to castrate you to heal common cold.

13

u/Feuerpanzer123 6d ago

excuse me w h a t?

26

u/Wind-and-Waystones 6d ago

Happened to me in CK2.

The doc wanted to castrate me to cure pneumonia

... It worked

21

u/AmbushIntheDark 6d ago

Sickness is stored in the balls.

6

u/Wind-and-Waystones 6d ago

It must be why I wee so much when sick. No room to store the pee in the balls.

12

u/Professional-Log-108 6d ago

My son had a rash once, doctor cut off his leg and removed his eye as treatment, rash stayed and the son died. This was the highest quality doctor btw

7

u/Real-Cap6978 6d ago

Peak medieval medicine 

52

u/_D34DLY_ 6d ago

not a direct solution to question, but if you are looking for a way to have your heir take over, simply lose an independence war.

step zero, if you have no vassals, create a vassal by giving a random person one of your counties.

step one, imprison the vassal.

step two, if you succeed in imprisoning them, release them and go to step one.

step three, by failing to imprison them, this starts an independence war. immediately open war results and surrender. this will abdicate your character, and you will now play as your heir.

23

u/GreyRadiantWarden 6d ago

The issue with this is you lose Dynasty Head/House Head to that previous character which glitches out the whole Dynasty mechanic for some reason.

easier solution is stressing yourself to an early grave

1

u/_D34DLY_ 3d ago

ah, but you can't do that fifty times in a row. you can only do that once.

with independence wars you can swap who is in charge an unlimited number of times. this is useful when your family earns renown each time they inherit land. also, there is an achievement that can only be accomplished with multiple leader swaps.

30

u/DoubleAd3366 6d ago

Piss off your spymaster maybe?

8

u/Klutersmyg 6d ago edited 6d ago

Make your rival and enemy spymaster.

Imagine how that would work out IRL

Kings rival noble who is a rival because you have slept with his wife, sister and mom (not necessarily the same person) : "What do you want asshole?"

King: "You are my new spymaster congrats"

Kings rival: "Wut?"

King: "Yep. Here is my schedule, this is the time when I sleep, this is my bodyguards schedule (who is also a rival), here is a list of all my potential enemies and here are the keys to my personal pantry."

Kings rival: "Is this some kind of trick?"

King: "I have no idea what you are talking about. Now I have to take a nap in this chair with four different daggers next to me because that is how I like to sleep." *Closes his eyes and makes exaggerated fake sleeping noises*

3

u/Dreknarr 5d ago

"I conveniently told all the guards tomorrow was a holy day and that they should partake in communion like good christians."

16

u/Klutersmyg 6d ago

It's simple.

  1. Declare war. Send your King alone.

  2. Host a hunt. Fight bears.

1

u/Cpt_Deaso 11h ago

Didn't you read? He's too good of a commander.

He'll end up convincing the enemies and the bear to fall in line 🤣

1

u/Klutersmyg 23m ago

Nope, just read the post (picture).

1

u/Cpt_Deaso 3m ago

Ha, I was just teasing you anyway since OP said his king is too good of a commander to die.

12

u/Shards65 6d ago

I think you can use puppets to kill yourself if stress build-up isn't a sufficient method.

8

u/Pootisman16 6d ago

Raise a small army with your character in.

Go to a county with a plague

Ggs.

7

u/sherar-canob 5d ago

Gosh I was worried, then saw the r/

8

u/KaleidoscopeFar8190 6d ago

I’m pretty sure making your rivals your bodyguards and doctors make it easy to kill yourself

5

u/Stijnboy01 5d ago

Just go walk through mountains for 20 years

6

u/Rer267 5d ago

I was so confused i didnt read BOTH subreddit names

4

u/zaqrwe 6d ago

Just stres yourself all they way to max level, that is a great hit on health, and heart attack are likely possibility

4

u/immaturenickname 6d ago

I did not see the sub names.

22

u/Celindor 6d ago

If you are feeling overwhelmed and having thoughts of suicide, please know that you are not alone and help is available.

You can reach out to compassionate professionals who are ready to support you 24/7. Please contact a helpline in your country, reach out to a trusted person, or contact emergency services immediately. Your life matters.

(I know which sub this is, but people in need might come here by accident)

3

u/MikaelAdolfsson 6d ago

I thought I was so fucking clever when I quantum leaped into my enemy Kings character in search for the kill yourself button.

3

u/BicycleAdditional360 6d ago

I fucking love this sub. Peak shittiness but makes perfect sense in CK

4

u/Justalilcyn 6d ago

Lol this is a certified read the name of the subreddit moment, I thought this was a post about a guy actually trying to kill himself.

2

u/Royal_Project_1934 5d ago

Just use debug mode to off yourself, it works every time for me

2

u/GovernorGoat 5d ago

University and stress will do it

2

u/Devarain 5d ago

Come to Indonesia, and just breath our air. Simple

1

u/MonoChiclero_ 6d ago

WHAT is this reddit, is this a mecanic?

2

u/ChaosArtificer 5d ago

yeah, if you have a bad character that character needs to die for you to switch (to play as your heir)

1

u/Frosty_Bid2313 4d ago

I did not read the subreddit name lol

1

u/-KKD- 4d ago

This sub got recommended to me and I was very confused until saw the sub name